Cade

“What the hell are you thinking? Fuck! This isn’t like you. Pull it together, asshole.” Dragging a hand through my hair, I curse the man staring back at me in the mirror while the steam from the shower spreads across the glass, slowly fading the image along with the man away.

I need to get myself under control before I lose my goddamn mind. After years of hard work, I sure as hell can’t allow my head to get tangled in wondering why the hell a woman who doesn’t belong to me hasn’t been seen in days.

For the first time since I’ve killed, my nerves are on edge. It has nothing to do with worrying about the cops; we didn’t leave a trace. It’s my suspicion Drew knows it was me and he’s somehow slipped her past me. Meaning, she’s in hiding, or worse.

The possibility he would hurt her has never crossed my mind. What if he has? What if she didn’t know what he’s done and now that Clay is dead, she’s somehow found out what they did. Ivy would never allow him to get away with it. She’d go to the police. And I can’t have her going to the police. I’ve planned these killings to perfection. But I’m no fool to know that even the best thought out plan can change.

“Goddamnit.” If he’s hurt her in any way, I’m not sure what I’ll do.

My heart spreads open inside my chest as if it needs more blood to survive. The thought of him doing anything to hurt her tests my patience more than the waiting I’ve endured to begin Drew’s execution.

“Son of a bitch.” My head and heart duel in a bloody war.

I breathe in and out through my nose to quiet my tempered muscles, the rage bubbling in my veins ready to explode any minute.

Stepping into the shower, I hiss when the scalding water pounds across my back, steam hitting my senses, increasing the buzz from the bottles of Jack swimming through my bloodstream I’ve consumed since my birthday a week ago.

Instead of working in the office of the gym, Nick, Chaz, and I own like I usually do during the day; today I decided to work out some of my angered aggression.

We needed something legit after we got out of the army. Deciding on a gym seemed the best route to go since we spent most of our down time in the desert pumping iron.

That’s how we met Roan Diamond. The man had a warehouse he was looking to rent out. We needed a cover to protect our names. So we offered him a deal. Our services for him to put the gym in his name and us as silent partners. We shook hands, gave our words and invested our savings in getting the gym up and running. It took us six months to start turning a profit. From that day forward, Roan Diamond and his family have had our backs as much as we’ve had his.

I tilt my head back, the water soaking my hair and face.

I knew I was taking the risk of Ivy seeing me by stepping out of my office this week. Pacing a hole in the hallway floor while I waited for her to show. She’s been coming to our gym for over a year. Her days are sporadic. Some weeks she’s not there at all. I can’t say why her not showing this time is bothering me more than before.

When she is here, she stretches with her ass in the air before running four miles on the treadmill. Her tight ass and toned legs hidden in a pair of skin-tight workout pants. Then she hits the weights. Flexing her chest with the machines in a sports bra that enhances her handfuls of tits. So fucking beautiful it physically hurts my chest to look at her.

Every damn time she works her legs, spreading those thighs, stomach down, ass in the air, extending those long, long legs I become hard. Painfully hard. Balls like a rock and dick like granite. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter what machine she’s on; her curvy body has me sitting behind my desk stroking my dick.

The woman has filled out in all the right places. Curves for days. Handfuls of lush skin that left me with no choice but to find a willing body to sink into.

Only none of them have ever felt like her. None of them will be her. She’s irreplaceable.

Worst of all, she isn’t mine.

Several times I wanted to kick every motherfucker out of there. Lock the doors and creep out of the shadows. I wanted to fuck her pussy, her ass, her mouth on those machines without her even knowing who I was. The thrill of it is filthy and repulsive even for a man like me.

Don’t know how the three of us have managed to avoid her whenever she comes in with that oaf of a bodyguard. Sure the hell isn’t luck. If I had any, she’d still be mine and my family would be alive.

Something feels off about her not being here this week. In fact, she hasn’t left her house.

Something ain’t right.

“Where the hell are you, Ivy?”

My voice vibrates thick with lust. I glance down at my long hard cock jutting straight ahead. My balls heavy and in need of dumping my load.

“Fuck, I’m a damn fool for wanting her.”

Leaning my forehead against the tiles, I shut my eyes, curl my hand around my shaft and stroke from base to tip. My balls tighten, nearing a painful state. They remember how fucking blissful her cunt feels. My hand will always be a sorry excuse compared to being inside her body.

Memories take me back to the first time I slid my finger inside Ivy’s tight pussy. Fuck, that warmth spreading all over my finger had me hard.

“Feel good?” I asked, nibbling on her neck as I picked up the pace, finger fucking her until I damn near blew my load. Couldn’t stop my hips from dry humping her thigh. I needed to get off as bad as I wanted to get her off.

“Yeah, let me take care of you too.” Her breathing was choppy. Hips thrusting into my hand.

“Fuck yes, please, I’m in misery here.” I added another finger while she fumbled her tiny little hands trying to unsnap my jeans and lower my zipper. We’d done some fooling around, but this was the first time she was actually going to touch my dick.

My hips jerked when she wrapped her hand around him, her eyes glazed, teeth nibbling on her bottom lip as she started to stroke like she’d done it a hundred times before. “Damn babe, keep doing that, and I’m gonna come before you. Always want to get you off first.” I pressed my mouth to hers, didn’t want to talk anymore. Just wanted to feel this girl who was quickly filling up every waking moment of my thoughts. Hell, she’d been creeping into my dreams too. Slipping her sweet self right in the spot that I knew belonged to her. I was falling so hard, so fast.

This beautiful girl and I are right for each other.

“Cade, I think you need to take out one finger. It hurts.” Pulling my mouth off hers, as well as slipping out a finger.

Christ. I never wanted to cause her any pain. She was too sweet.

Too tempting.

“I’m sorry. Don’t ever want to hurt you. You want me to stop?” Please say no. I want to see you come so goddamn bad.

“No.”

“Good. You’re a gift, you know that right? A gift I’m going to wear on my sleeve. Literally.”

She didn’t respond with her feisty little-wicked tongue. She nodded, eyes rolling in the back of her head.

Untainted. Unmarked and gorgeous.

Even though her hand felt a hell of a lot better than mine, it wasn’t enough. All I could fathom was how good it was going to feel to have her pussy wrapped tight around my cock. I wanted those toned thighs hooked around my neck as I ate her out. I wanted to be balls deep inside of her. Her hands clenching the sheets while she screamed for me to thrust harder. Deeper.

I slid my hand up her side, the pad of my thumb caressing her cheek. “You drive me so fucking crazy.” From that day forward I did my best to hold her face in my hands when I kissed her.

Never wanted to part with such a precious gift.

Keeping my eyes closed. Those memories of how her face flushed, her mouth opening, her hand matching the push and pull of my finger inside of her undid me that day. I watched the beauty come for the first time for me. I couldn’t stop watching her, couldn’t pull my finger out until she did it again. Her face glowed, the girl looking like an angel I wanted to dirty up.

Pure and innocent. And mine. Every part of her belonged to me.

I wasn’t a fool to think we would last forever. All I had was hope that we would. Hope that she’d want to live her life with a man like me. If she did, I’d make her happy. I’d treat her right, and I’d watch her come as often as I could. Nice and wet. Tight and mine.

I’d give her everything. But not anymore. She doesn’t belong to me and yet here I am, getting myself off like so many other times before to her.

Goddamn her.

My eyes pop open. The pleasure in my balls jarring another memory as my orgasm tears through my cock and lands on the tiles.

“You can sleep naked, or you can wear my shirt to bed.” I slipped out of her bed, quickly got dressed while never taking my eyes off of her.

Steam is billowing out of my ears. Surprised she hasn’t seen it yet. I am pissed. Livid is more like it.

“What? Why are you leaving? Did I do something wrong?” Fuck no you didn’t. You just came all over my face and then my dick.

I didn’t want to tell her what I swear to God I just saw. The thing was, Ivy and me, we didn’t have secrets. We told each other the truth whether it hurts or not. I wasn’t sure she could handle the truth, so I lied.

“No, you did everything right, Ivy. You always do. Especially with that mouth.” I might have been a testosterone filled teenager, but I was in love with this girl, and I needed to make sure that everyone knew it. Including the person who was just peeking in her window.

I lifted my phone out of my pocket. First time I was grateful my little sister had sent me a half dozen texts a bit ago I didn’t open.

“Rachel’s been texting me for the past hour. She said Mom was going to come over here and drag my ass home if I didn’t get my chores done.” Goddamn lie. Rachel was freaking out over Clay again. The guy was always creeping up in her shit. Sitting in the middle of her bed when she came out of her bathroom wrapped in nothing but a towel. Sending her texts. Peeking his ugly mug in her windows.

At first, Drew and I laughed it off. Told her Clay was family. He was messing around. Besides, he knew better than to be wanting in her pants. For one, she was too young. Two, she was our little sister, and we’d kick his ass. Because it was Rachel, I told him to knock it off. He didn’t like me telling him what to do. We ended up wrestling around on the ground until Drew broke us up, took over and laid Clay out. And, now, after seeing my brother creeping on the two of us I know he doesn’t give a shit that our sister was always freaking out about Clay. Peeping Tom is just like him. What I should do is bring it up to my dad and let him handle it. But I won’t. I might be a lot of things, a tattle-tale I’m not.

“Okay, but don’t you think your mom is going to know what’s going on if you show up without a shirt?” She giggled, pulled my shirt over her head and settled back in bed.

“I’ll start mowing the yard. She’ll never know.” I leaned down and kissed her. Took off to find my brother who had his face plastered against her window watching me as I finger fucked Ivy.

“What the fuck was that?” I grabbed him by his throat and threw him up against the side of the house.

“Nothing. It was a dare. Same thing Clay’s been doing to Rachel. Chill out, man; I had no idea you were fucking her. All I was supposed to do was scare the two of you.”

“You’re a liar, Drew. What else have you and your buddies been doing? Huh? If I wasn’t certain I could kick your ass, I’d tell Dad. He arrests assholes like you.”

“Right. Pretty boy, little brother. The one Dad sucks up to because you want to be a cop.” I drop my hands from his throat. Take a step back. Lately, he’s been carrying on about this shit. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into him.

“You starting this shit again? Grow the fuck up, Drew. We’re brothers. Blood. You have no right to be jealous of me. I want what’s best for you. Don’t turn me into a competition like you and your friends do to each other.” Can’t stomach any of his friends. Adam being the worst. Asshole is always rolling up here in some fancy new car. Pushing Drew’s buttons about how someday he’ll have everything he wants once he becomes a lawyer. How money really does buy happiness, because happiness is having pussy, cars, and possessions. Crock of spoiled rich boy shit.

I pounded his face in that night. Told him to stay the fuck away from her. He was done shoveling their snow. Done mowing and done looking at her. We fought until our knuckles were raw.

We never spoke to each other again.

One week later, the sick son of a bitch killed my family.