Chapter 2
Ashley
“GET UP, HONEY.” I OPEN my eyes and see my beautiful mama standing beside my bed. For a fifty-seven-year-old woman, she’s a beauty, with long dark brown hair and deep, honey brown eyes like mine. She sits down on the edge of my bed and takes my hand in hers. “It’s almost noon, and I’d like to spend some time with my only daughter.”
“You have a son, too, ya know?” I laugh and sit up, leaning against the headboard of my childhood bed. “Where’s Kemper?”
“He’s out at the Mathews’ ranch for a little bit. I guess he wants to learn more about horses, and Jeff’s been teaching him.”
My older brother, Kemper, went to school for business at Texas A&M for two years, then decided college wasn’t for him. I was a senior in high school when he came home and told Mama he wasn’t going back to school. He knew his heart belonged on the farm in Mason and not in some hoity-toity office at a corporation. He’d rather be in his Wrangler jeans, plaid shirt, and boots than a three-piece suit.
“I’m glad Kemper’s finding his way. Is he still with Jesslyn?”
Mama shakes her head. “He caught that girl cheating on him. It’s been over for a few months now. Kemper didn’t tell you?”
“We haven’t talked in a while.”
Guilt strikes me again.
When I left Mason, seven years ago, not only did I leave Landon; I left my family and friends. I always meant to call, and I did for a little bit, but then my time was being tugged in all directions, and it became harder to keep in touch, so I’d only occasionally call.
“Honey, you need to talk to your brother, but first you need to get up, get ready, and let me take you to lunch. You’re skin and bones. Haven’t you been eating?”
I look away, ashamed.
“Oh, honey.” My mama brings me in for a hug, and for the first time in a while, I welcome her to comfort me and let out seven years’ worth of tears. “That isn’t your life anymore. You don’t need to be this skinny for anyone.”
“I know,” I whisper, and let her squeeze the love into my soul. “It’s hard.”
“I know, honey. That’s why you came back home, because you know I’ll be here to support you and guide you.” She lets me go and kisses my forehead the way she used to when I wasn’t feeling good. “I know the pain and pressure you went through, and it’s going to take some time to heal, but leave those demons at the door and trust that God will help you find yourself again.”
I nod since there’s nothing more I can say.
***
We’re at a cute little café, sitting outside under the warm sun, and I’m listening to her tell me about what she’s been doing with some of the other women in town.
“The festival’s in a few weeks. We’re making so many pies and jams. You can help me get it prepared.”
“Of course, Mama. Whatever you need.”
“Oh, I’m just so glad to have my baby girl home. Do you have plans this evening?”
Before I can answer, a warm hand grips my shoulder. I glance up and gaze into the familiar blue eyes of Ellie Johnson—now Ellie Mathews.
“Oh, my gosh! Hi, Ashley!”
“Hi!” I get up from my chair and throw my arms around her neck and she hugs me back. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her. We let each other go and Ellie says hello to Mama and gives her a hug, too.
“Are you back for good?” she asks me.
I nod in response. “My contract is over and I didn’t want to renew it. I wanted to come back home and get out of the spotlight.”
“That’s wonderful! I have to get going because I’m meeting Gunner for lunch, but let’s get together soon so you can catch me up.” She leans over to hug me again. “Good seeing you.”
“You, too.”
I watch Ellie walk away and then sit back down at the table to continue lunch. For some reason, jealousy claws at my gut and chokes me. Little Ellie found the love of her life, and now she’s glowing, happy, and clearly so in love.
That could’ve been me.
“That Ellie,” Mama says. “She’s done good for herself, especially now that she’s with Gunner.”
I nod and reach over to sip on my drink, trying hard to not think about what could’ve been. I remember seeing that Jeff, Ellie’s older brother, is married, too.
That could’ve been Landon and me.
“Mama?”
“Yes, honey.”
“Do you think I’m selfish? You know, for leaving Mason to chase after my dreams and never coming back to visit or try to win Landon back?”
She sighs and places her hand on top of mine. “Do you want my honest opinion?”
I nod. “Of course. Please, I’m so lost right now.” I’m doing everything I can to hold back the tears.
Last night wasn’t what I expected, but I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew seeing Landon would cause an argument and he’d walk away from me. My leaving and agreeing to be Shawn’s girlfriend was the final nail in our coffin. Right when I signed the non-disclosure agreement for two years to promote his new album and tour, I knew that once Landon saw it splashed all over the news and magazines he wouldn’t have understood.
“I don’t think you should’ve been gone for seven years. Before you signed whatever deal you did, you should’ve thought about what that’d do to Landon, your brother, and myself. You weren’t thinking. All that mattered was you . . .”
“No,” I interrupt her. “That’s not true.”
“Honey, that may be the case, but your actions were perceived in that manner.”
“We had a blowout last night at The Rustic. Mama, he hates me.”
“No, sweet girl. He doesn’t hate you. Landon Fisher loves you completely. When you left . . .” She pauses and I can see her thinking.
“Mama, just say it.”
“After you left, he spent nights in your bedroom. He didn’t talk to me or anyone else about you leaving. He walked around Mason like a lost puppy for so many years.”
I don’t stop the tears from falling. Everything she’s saying is breaking my heart, and I don’t blame Landon for being so upset with me.