Chapter 6
Landon
EVENING COMES AND I HEAR Ashley upstairs in the guest room, moving some things around, and the beat of her music playing. All her things are upstairs. Once I brought up her suitcases to her room and gave her a tour of the house, I left her alone.
As much as I don’t like having her here, I admit that a very large part of me wants her back. Plus, if I didn’t give her a place to stay, I’m pretty sure my mama would come back and slap me upside the head, then tell me she’d raised a better man.
And she did.
So, I’m doing the right thing and letting her stay. I know it isn’t going to be easy, and I know I should reconsider, but how can I let her go again?
If I tell her to leave my house, I’ll worry about where she’ll go and what she’ll do. My worries will consume me and I’ll go off looking for her. Even though I need my distance from her, I want to keep her close to me.
This is all too much, and I’m not sure how much of this I can handle. I inhale, let my breath out slowly, lean back on the couch, and bring my beer bottle to my lips.
I hear her walking down the stairs and keep my eyes on the TV. When she comes into the living room and sits down next to me, I make the mistake of looking at her from the corner of my eye.
Fuck. Me.
“Whatcha watching?”
“Just a show. Everything good upstairs?” I struggle to ask her, taking a pillow to cover my obvious attraction for her. I watch the way she moves, her chest rising and falling, and the way her shirt rides up, showing off her tan, flat stomach. I don’t miss the tiny black shorts she has on either.
It’s taking everything in me to keep my distance. I’m going to be alone with the only woman I’ve ever loved. The only one I want. The only one who has my heart. And the only one who scares the fuck out of me.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but when I look down, she’s laying her head on my lap and my fingers are running through her hair. Soft snores and little moans leave her tiny body. I rub my face with my free hand, carefully pick her up, and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom. She’s so light in my arms. I softly kick open the door and walk inside, toward the bed, I gently set her down and pull the covers over her body. The bed dips a little from my weight. I run my finger down her cheek, watching her smile, and let out a sigh.
“I don’t know what to do with you here,” I whisper, while running my finger down her arm and stopping at her wrist. I pull my hand away. “How can I trust you again?”
“I’ll show you,” she whispers, and sits up, throws her arms around my neck and pulls me close to her body. “I’ll show you and prove to you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. My love for you never left. It’s still here. Always has been. Always will be.”
“I don’t know if I can believe you.”
I release myself from her arms and leave the bedroom to go to mine. As soon as I’m in my room, I lean against the door, and let out the tears I’ve been holding in. I drop my hands to my knees, slightly hunch over, and drag in as many breaths as I can. My emotions are all over the place, and I can’t seem to capture one emotion and focus on that.
“Get it together, Fisher,” I mumble to myself.
***
The next morning, I meet Jeff at Gunner’s ranch, and we start working on the fence that needs attention. It’s nearing ten when we take our first break. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and grab the cold water bottle from the cooler Gunner and Jeff’s wives, Ellie and Ari, packed for us.
“Hell of a morning,” Gunner says, and tosses the empty bottle back in the cooler. “Looks like it’s going to be a hot day.”
“Don’t remind me,” Jeff answers.
All I do is nod. The only thing on my mind is Ashley and wondering what she’s doing. I left her a note on the kitchen table, letting her know where I’ll be and what my phone number is, just in case she needs me.
I check my phone and there’s nothing from her.
“So, you’ve been quiet about Ashley’s return. Ellie said she saw her a few days ago having lunch with her mama and she stopped to say hello.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Well, Mama Monroe kicked her out so she’s staying at my place in the guest room.” I look up to see both staring at me with their jaws slightly open. “What?”
“You’re telling me that your ex-girlfriend, the woman you’re still in love with and can’t get over, is living with you, and you’re fine about it?” Gunner explains.
“You’re fucked.” Jeff laughs.
“What the hell was I supposed to do? Ashley and her mama are fine. I guess she did it to push Ashley toward me. Even though I still love her, there’s no way I can take her back. We had our chance and that ship has sailed. We aren’t getting back together.”
“You sound like Taylor Swift.” Jeff laughs again, and I toss my empty water bottle at his head.
“All right, all right,” Gunner says, standing in between the two of us, “let’s get back to work.”
I’m lost in my work when my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I take it out to see an unknown number.
Unknown: I got your note. Do you need me to do anything?
Me: Nah. I got Scott to check on the horses.
Unknown: When you come back, you should take me out riding. I miss those days with you. We can ride and watch the sunset.
Memories of those times flood my thoughts, and I have to close my eyes and steady myself before getting my head together.
Me: I’m pretty beat and need to finalize my trip to Kentucky.
Unknown: I’ve never been to Kentucky. I remember all the times you’d go with your daddy and learn from him. I’m going to head to the cemetery and pay my respects.
A lump forms in my throat. It means the world to me she’s thinking of my parents. Before I can stop myself, I send her a text and then put my phone away.
Me: Thank you for doing that.