Chapter 4
Jain’s eyes narrowed as she lay in that big bed of hers. Her pretty mouth tightened into a scowl of annoyance. Tension stiffened Kesuk’s shoulders. He’d had enough to deal with in the two days since he’d seen her without coaxing her out of an ill humor. He considered her for a moment before deciding she needed a reminder of who was in charge here.
“Would you like to see more of your new home, slave?” He asked it just to tease her. He couldn’t help himself. His little bear reacted so well. Remembering the indignant look on her face when he’d left to handle an altercation between two soldiers had made him laugh, and he resisted the smile that pulled at his lips now. Preparing for the weretigers’ arrival had consumed his every waking moment the last few days, but he’d found himself thinking of her far too much. So, here he was, taking the first opportunity he had to come to her.
“Can I have some clothes first?” She shifted, tucking the covers tight to her chest.
“You have no clothes?”
She smacked a hand down on the fur pelts. “Nope. Completely naked here.”
“Are you, now?” A slow grin spread over his face, and he let his gaze slide down the soft curves of her body outlined by the pelts.
His cock twitched as he recalled the first sight of her naked in the snow. It was all he could do not to slide his hand to his leathers to readjust the uncomfortable fit. Her breath caught as her eyes locked with his. She felt this, too, he knew it.
Blushing, she looked away and licked her lips. He cut off a groan. Surely she knew what that did to a man. He wanted that little pink tongue caressing his cock.
Her gaze flicked back to him. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” He let his desire for her show, so there was no mistake, just to see how she’d respond. It was only a matter of time until he had her. It had been a very long time since any woman presented any challenge. For the duration of her stay here, she would be his.
“Like that.”
His grin widened, and he ran his tongue down his canine tooth.
“Like you want to undress me.”
“You are already undressed.”
“That’s entirely beside the point.”
He approached the bed and watched her breathing speed up as he neared. Her gaze flicked over him, cheeks flushed. Good, he made her nervous. An excellent place to start. As he reached out to touch her, her pupils expanded, staring at his hard dick straining the fastenings of his pants.
“If you wish me to stop looking at you as though I want you naked, then do not look as though you want me to undress you.”
“I’m not.” Her voice was breathless, her gaze riveted on his cock.
“Stop.”
“What?” She looked up at him, naked hunger on her face.
“We go.” He bent and scooped her up before he talked himself into burying himself between her legs and staying for a full Turn. She was well enough to suffer from boredom, but not well enough to walk. If she couldn’t walk, she was too weak for the hard sex he had in mind. He schooled himself to patience, knowing he would have her slim legs wrapped around his waist soon enough. Or around his face. He banished that thought before he made it impossible to walk correctly.
Her small form fitted against his chest, her cheek on his shoulder, her short dark hair tickling his skin. The sweet smell of her filled his nose. He breathed in, enjoying the experience of being this close to her.
“Where are we going?” Her arm slid around his neck.
Eyes closed for a moment, he savored the feel of her fingers splayed across his shoulder, her other hand pressed to his chest, stroking over his nipple. His breath hissed out. She would drive him to madness. His cock rode the seam of his leathers as he walked out of her chamber and into the main corridor.
“Is everyone here usually naked?” Her wide green eyes followed the progress of a soldier who’d obviously just assumed his human form.
Kesuk growled to hurry the guard on his way, not liking the way his little bear stared at the other man.
Glancing down at her, he answered her question with a shrug. “No, but our clothing does not come with us when we shift.”
She blushed, glancing into a side cave at an equally nude woman before turning away. “We had laws in my time about indecent exposure.”
“Indecent? Nudity is a natural thing, little bear.” He frowned. The advanced past had been so provincial?
“Ooooh.” Her grip tightened around his neck when she spied what lay beyond the end of the tunnel. He gritted his teeth as her breasts moved against his chest, nothing but the edge of a fur keeping her soft flesh from pressing against his.
Dripstone rose from the floor and spiked down from the ceiling, creating a circular stone paddock. Only his ancestors had been able to carve with such precision. They’d lost so much in the centuries since settlement. The little one in his arms brought that home to him more forcefully than anything had since the weretigers landed on Alysius.
“Stalactites and stalagmites. I saw them in the Carlsbad Caverns when I was a child. These are huge compared to those.”
“Dripstone. It is created by dripping water.” He jerked his chin to indicate the droplets of water falling from the tips of the stone.
“What is this place? And why are some of the areas laser cut and the rest natural?” Her wave encompassed the cavern and the dripstone.
“Whatever was expedient. This area needed to be large for the herds.”
“Herds?”
They cleared the upper tunnel, and noise from the paddock rose to an overwhelming cacophony. From this position, they overlooked the wide valley of stone separated into paddocks by carved barriers. Loud bawling of cattle and sheep in large grassy fields echoed around them. Sunlight streamed through thousands of covered light shafts in the cavern roof. Men and women roamed the herds, checking the health of young calves, rounding up the sheep for shearing.
Jain leaned forward as he backed away from the precipice, trying to look at everything at once. A sweet smile spread over her lips when she got a better view of the herdsmen. When she stopped trying to keep a stranglehold on every detail, she let herself enjoy life. He could help her in that area. She might even thank him.
“Where are we going next?”
She turned that wondrous smile on him, and he almost missed a step. The woman was beautiful. All the women on this planet had dark eyes and were tall with sleek muscular bodies. Not Jain. Perhaps it was her childlike size that made him feel protective. Even that excuse sounded flimsy to him, because he’d never thought of her as a child. Since the moment he’d seen her, he’d wanted her, and he always got what he wanted.
“We go to sup in the main cavern.”
He wound his way through the twisting tunnels with an ease born of long practice, the smells of cooking food calling to him.
She sighed. “I’ll never find my way back.”
He grinned. “Reach into my back pocket.”
Her eyes widened, snapping up to his face. “What?”
“My back pocket, little bear. The left one.”
Her hand slipped from his shoulder down his back, smoothed over his bare skin, bumped the top of his leathers before curling into his pocket. His breath hissed out as her fingers moved over his ass, rubbing against him as she searched the pocket.
Keeping his tone innocent, he shrugged. “Oh, did I say left? I meant right. Try the other pocket.”
“You did that on purpose!” She slapped his chest.
“Perhaps. The right pocket, little bear. Go on.” Teasing her meant teasing himself, and he wanted to take her against the tunnel wall. Right now. He usually had more control than this when dealing with women. Frowning, he shook himself. He was no randy boy intent on mating with anything that moved.
Dipping her hand down, she tugged a folded sheet of parchment from his leathers. She smoothed it out against his shoulder. “It’s a map.”
“Yes.”
Her smile was back and was the first thing his people saw as they walked into the wide cavern. All noise fizzled to a slow stop. She tensed, going rigid in his arms when she noticed they were the center of attention. She looked up at him in distress.
“Shh, little bear. They are simply curious about you. It will fade the more you are around them.”
Her lips tightened and she said nothing, her chin jerking down in a small nod. She tugged up the furs self-consciously. He hadn’t the heart to tell her they’d all seen her naked the day he brought her in from the snow. It had taken many people many hours to get her warm again, to save her fingers and toes from frostbite.
“Jain!” Miki waved from the head table, bouncing in her chair, a huge smile splitting her face. Her nurse saved her cup from tipping over as Miki’s waving got a bit too enthusiastic.
Jain smiled back at Kesuk’s daughter and returned a small wiggle of her fingers.
“Where is Nukilik?” Kesuk directed his question at the nurse as he settled Jain into the chair to the left of his.
“He decided to break his fast with the guards in the lower caverns.”
“Ah.” He smiled, remembering he had done the same as a boy, eager to learn the ways of warriors.
“Have you met Nukilik?” The nurse turned a kind smile on Jain, and Kesuk blessed her for her open warmth. He had chosen well when he made her caretaker for his cubs.
“I’ve only met Miki and Kesuk. Oh, and my guard, Imnek, when I tried to leave my room.” Jain turned an accusing glare on Kesuk.
“It was for your own protection.”
“Sure it was, but then I am a slave here, aren’t I?” Anger made Jain’s brilliant green eyes almost incandescent.
He leaned close to speak in her ear. “Yes, and as such, you are under my protection. The caves can be dangerous, little bear. Your insistence on independence does not erase the need for caution.”
She wrinkled her pert nose at him and turned away to speak to Miki’s nurse.
He chuckled, sorry he’d missed young Imnek trying to keep her in her room as Kesuk had ordered. As he’d said, it was for her own protection. She wasn’t yet well, and even with his map, she could easily become lost in the caverns. Some of the caves were no longer in use, and it would take a while to track her, especially if she fell and hurt herself. Refocusing on the women at his table, he caught a lively conversation about Earthan versus Bear Clan politics.
“It’s too much.” Jain folded her arms and glared at the stubborn man across from her. As usual, Kesuk remained cool and collected. It made her want to kick him. Why couldn’t she ever hold on to her calm when he was around? He’d invited himself into her room again, and Imnek had just let him in. This was why messing with the boss was never a good plan—they did whatever they wanted and didn’t ask for permission.
“What is?”
“What? This! All this.” Her hands flapped to encompass the room, which was now overburdened with more clothes than she could ever wear.
Kesuk shrugged. “You said you needed clothing.”
“I just wanted an outfit.”
“You have been outfitted.”
She sighed, knowing she wouldn’t win this one. Settling back into the padding of her large chair, she toyed with the cord that belted her leather pants. Kesuk leaned back into the cushions of the matching chair that sat opposite hers. A crackling fire lit the handsome planes of his face. “Thank you. It’s more than I need.”
“If you need anything else, ask in the kitchens and they will give you whatever you require.”
“I’m used to providing for myself. Working for what I have.” She shifted under his stare. Why had she even admitted that?
“You are not yet well enough to work. Give yourself some time. You nearly died, little bear. You look lovely in that.”
Pleasure warmed her, and she brought herself up short. His approval shouldn’t matter this much to her. She shouldn’t care about this man. He was dangerous to her peace of mind, her hard-won calm. When the weretigers came, she was leaving. She needed to remember that. She shrugged, brushing a negligent hand down her bottle-green wool tunic. It matched her eyes. “Thanks.”
He casually waved in a serving woman who brought a tray of food. The woman smiled at Jain and she grinned back. Her name was…Bel? “Thank you for bringing me dinner.”
“Supper,” Bel corrected gently. “We call it supper here.”
“Supper.” Jain nodded in acknowledgment. She noticed the tray Bel set down held more food than she could eat in a week. She raised her eyebrow, meeting Kesuk’s gaze as Bel left the room. “Inviting yourself to dinner?”
He lounged in his chair, handing her a mug of mulled ale, serving up plates for both of them. “You don’t really want to dine alone.”
She didn’t, but it irritated her that he said it. “You know me so well.”
“I wish to.”
Something about the position of his body or the hot, hard expression on his face made her recall her dream. “Kesuk, the day we met…”
“Yes?”
Hot blood singed her cheeks, and she knew her face had gone bright red. Smooth, Jain. Very smooth. “Did we…did you…what exactly happened after you found me?”
“You don’t remember, Jain?” A wicked grin spread over his face, belying the innocent tone.
A shiver slid up her spine at the sound of her name on his lips. “I was naked—”
“Indeed.” The grin grew wider, his eyes twinkling at her.
“—and freezing to death. I don’t remember much of anything.” Unless the dream was real, and then she remembered too much.
His tongue slid down a canine tooth, a sign that she already knew meant he intended to tease her. Here it came.
“It was such a deeply moving experience for both of us, little bear. I’m crushed.” Clapping his hands over his heart, he actually batted his eyes at her.
“Oh, brother.” She rolled her eyes.
“I’m not your brother.”
No kidding. As if she’d have those kinds of fantasies about her brother. “I just…tell me what happened. Please?”
He tilted his head and considered her for a moment, sipping from his mug. “My guards and I saw the explosion and came to investigate. I found you naked and freezing in the snow. When I changed, you fainted.”
“You were in your bear form?”
“Yes.”
“I saw you change?”
He shrugged. “I believe so. You were not coherent, little bear. A bit longer out there and you would have died.”
So it had been a dream. A very lusty dream. She flushed, recalling how vivid the texture of his skin and hair had felt.
His gaze swept her face, and his voice became silky. “Why do you ask?”
She cleared her throat, blushing so hard her face tingled. “No reason.”
“Come now, you don’t expect me to believe that, do you?”
“I had a dream,” she mumbled into her cup while she took a quick sip.
His eyes gleamed. “A sexy dream?”
“Maybe.” She stared at her lap, not daring to look up.
“Tell me.”
“I can’t do that!”
“You can. Tell me, little bear. Did it make you moan?” His eyes locked with hers, heated, a little smile playing over his lips.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Was I inside you?”
Nodding, she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as the fantasy played out in her mind. Her thighs clenched together as she tried to contain the wet heat building between them.
A small choking sound came from Kesuk, and she opened her eyes to find the fire in his gaze matched the flames in her body.
“Come here.” His voice was low, demanding. Its rough edge slid over her skin like velvet.
She stood, her cup falling from her numb fingers. She walked to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. No thought, nothing. Just reaction to this man, this moment. When she reached his chair, his hands rose to her waist. He pulled her into his lap, and her legs straddled his thighs. The muscles in his legs flexed, spreading her farther, pressing her against his straining erection. She gasped, rolling her hips to increase the contact. Sweet pleasure arced through her body. Nothing had ever felt this amazing. And he wasn’t even inside her yet.
His lips touched hers, a gentle brush. She opened her mouth on his, darting her tongue out to slide over his lower lip. He tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her against his cock, grinding their pelvises together.
She moaned into his mouth, the sound waking her from her daze. She pulled back, panting. “Kesuk.”
“I love my name on your lips, little bear.”
“We shouldn’t.” Her fingers gripped the arms of his chair, her hips moving backward. “It’s too soon. We just met. We have to be rational.”
His hand stayed her motion, not letting her escape, but not forcing her closer, either. “Passion and reason don’t often mix, Jain. And this is passion.”
Taking her fingers, he guided them to his hard cock, cupping them to stroke his length. She closed her fingers around him, taking over the motion, fondling his dick through his leather pants.
He groaned, dropping his head back against the chair as he pressed himself into her caress. “Little bear, the things you do to me.”
She wanted more, needed it. Throwing a lifetime of caution aside, she traced her hand over the lacings of his pants, using nimble fingers to untie them. His cock sprang free into her hand, the head glistening with pre-cum.
“Stroke me, little bear. I love your hands on me.”
“You do?” Her gaze flicked to his handsome face.
“Oh, yes.”
“Touch me, too.”
“Where did I touch you in your fantasy, Jain?” His eyes were hard, glittering with unmasked lust.
Could she tell him? Maybe if she started small. “My hair.”
“Like this?” His strong fingers slipped into her hair, massaging her scalp, sending tingles over her skin.
“Yes.”
“Where else?”
“Everywhere,” she whispered.
Sliding his hand down from her hair, he circled her nipple through her tunic. “Here?”
She froze at the sensation of his hand on her, hot pleasure storming through her. Nodding, she leaned forward, her nipples peaking into tight crests.
“Where else?”
Blood rushed to her face, her breath panting out. “B-between my legs.” Just the thought of him touching her there made her thighs quiver.
“I like this dream.” His other hand slipped low, cupping her sex, moving against her tight leather pants.
“I do, too.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth and arched forward to meet his stroking, still fondling his cock. Her hand slid up the shaft and then curved over the head as she rotated her palm over the bulbous crest. She wanted to put her mouth on him, feel the slide of his long shaft between her lips as she sucked him. She licked her lips, staring at his cock. Anticipation rolled through her in waves as his hands teased her pussy and nipple.
A soft growl sounded from his chest. “Keep looking at me like that and our night will be over far too quickly.”
“I want to suck you.” She looked him in the eye.
He groaned and laughed at the same time. “Little bear, you’re killing me.”
“Please.”
“Later, I promise. Later.”
She nodded, scraping a nail over the tiny opening of his cock. He pulled in a sharp breath, arching into her hand. He clamped his fingers around her wrist, removing himself from her grasp.
“Take your tunic off,” he ordered.
Arms crossing over her body, she grasped the edges of her top and pulled it over her head in one swift motion, baring her small breasts to him. He dipped forward, catching a nipple in his mouth and sucking hard while his fingers tugged at the laces on her pants. She jerked back, standing to shove her pants off. She couldn’t wait, didn’t want to wait. Her sex clenched tight. She wanted that thick cock moving inside of her, wanted him more than she’d ever wanted any man in her life.
“Ah, Jain. Come here.” While she stood, he jerked his shirt off, tearing his pants completely open.
Stepping forward, she swung her leg over his lap and mounted him in one smooth motion. He pulled her in, his hands guiding her hips forward until her wet pussy hovered directly over the head of his dick. Then he pushed down, forcing her to take him deep. She balanced her hands on his shoulders and sank down on him, feeling him embed so deep he touched her womb. God, he was big. She squirmed, just to enjoy the friction.
“You’re so deep.”
“Yes.” He grunted, beginning to work her on his cock, lifting, lowering.
She squeezed her knees into his flanks, rising to ride him. Their plunging dance moved faster and faster, skin slapping together loudly.
It felt so good, so amazing, so right that for a moment it scared her. Her movements faltered as she tried to focus on something else, to not have this white-hot pleasure matter so much. He shouldn’t be able to do this to her—she shouldn’t let him do it to her. Staring at the chair behind his head, she concentrated on history lessons she used to teach her classes on Earth. Yes, now the pleasure was not so close, so deep. Now she could think.
He froze, pulling her tight against his pelvis, stilling their movements.
She blinked, focused on his eyes. “Why did you stop?”
“Why did you? One moment you were with me, the next you were gone.”
A guilty blush washed into her cheeks. “Gone? You’re still inside of me.”
Cocking an eyebrow, he didn’t bother to contradict her. “Do you want me to stop?”
Did she? Would it make it easier? “No,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”
“Kiss me.”
Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, light caresses of warm flesh. His tongue swept out to lick her bottom lip before pressing into her mouth.
“Mmmm.” She leaned closer until her breasts brushed his chest, rubbing her nipples back and forth over his skin. The feel of his flesh against hers was amazing, and she sank again into the intense visceral pleasure of his touch. His hands stroked up her back, tugged on her hair. She tilted her head back, and he nipped at her throat. Winding her fingers through his thick hair, she pressed him close.
Shoving her away, he knelt on the plush fur rug, lowering her and spreading her legs wide, a hand pressing each thigh to the floor. She flushed, her hands lifting to cover her exposed breasts.
“That’s right, little bear. Fondle them for me.”
“Kesuk…”
He smiled, his hot dark gaze sliding over her body, focusing between her legs. Bracing his forearms on either side of her hips, he lowered his shoulders between her spread thighs. His tongue parted the lips of her pussy, slipping over her labia before flicking her clit.
“Kesuk!” She fought to keep her fingers from burying themselves in his hair, from tugging him closer.
Do you know how good you taste, Jain?
She pressed her hand to her forehead, gasping as his voice echoed in her mind. “What? How?”
His tongue circled her clit with deliberate slowness before he drew it between his lips, suckling her wet flesh.
One of the many benefits your generation left behind. Don’t you like it?
“Yes.”
Play with your nipples for me. Show me what you like.
Panting, she relaxed her hands to cup her breasts, lifting them high before letting them bounce back. She circled her fingertips around the areolas, made them pucker into tight nubs.
This is a great deal of sweetness, little bear. Do you think it rational? Using that wicked tongue, he lapped at her juices, sucking her swollen lips between his teeth.
“Kesuk.”
Perhaps if I made it easier for you, more controlled.
“What do you mean?” Her hips strained toward his mouth, pushing her toward orgasm, not caring what answer he gave. Her eyes squeezed closed. She was so close. Any moment now she would—
He pulled back and her eyes popped open. “Hey…”
One hand reached for the slim cord that had belted her pants closed. He turned back to her, licking her cream from his lips with obvious relish. She blushed, glancing away. He clasped her wrists in his right hand and with a quick twist, tied the cord around them. “Hey!”
“Relax, little bear. You will enjoy this.”
She jerked at her wrists as he tied the other end of the cord around the heavy leg of her chair. “I don’t—”
“Have you not enjoyed everything else I have shown you?”
“Yes, but—”
Then you will love this. He maneuvered back between her thighs, his broad shoulders forcing her legs wide as he resumed the ministrations of his mouth and tongue on her hot flesh, sucking hard on her clit.
Her back bowed at the abrupt change in sensation, wrists pulling hard on the cord as she struggled to move against him. “Kesuk, I want—”
Shh…let go.
She whimpered, tugging at her hands. “I can’t let go of anything. I’m tied up.”
Her pussy flooded with more moisture from saying the words out loud. She shouldn’t like this so much. Tears pressed against her lashes as her thighs burned and her sex pulsed with want.
You don’t have to control anything, to be rational or reasonable. Just feel how good this is.
It was good. The panic from before reared again, but she couldn’t back away from it this time—she was bound. And free to do nothing but feel. Oh, God, it was so good, so hot. She twisted against the bindings, chafing her wrists, the heat building higher, hotter than ever. Spiraling down into intense need again, she couldn’t fight it this time, didn’t want to. She gave herself over to it. Tingles washed over her skin. She felt. She felt the softness of his hair brushing the insides of her thighs, the bite of his fingers into her flesh as he held her open for his mouth, the sharp nip of his teeth on her clitoris, the wetness of his tongue deep in her pussy. She screamed, jerking on the cord, needing this, him, right here, right now. Loving what he was doing to her, for her. It had never been this good before.
Yes, Jain. Let go for me.
He growled against her pussy, the vibrations making her sob. She was so close she could feel herself teetering on the edge of orgasm. “Please, Kesuk.”
Lunging up, he braced his arms on either side of her torso, holding himself above her as he buried his huge cock into her quivering pussy. She wanted to rub her hands over the flexing muscles of his chest, feel the sinew shift under her fingers, but the bindings held fast when she pulled. His hard thrusts pushed her forward, the soft fur rug sliding against her back as they moved. The feel of the fur and his silky hot flesh pushed her closer, higher. She arched her back, rubbing herself against his chest and the rug.
“Kiss me,” she demanded. Her hand met with the chair leg she was bound to, and she curled her fingers around the wood, the sharp carvings biting into her palms. The slight pain was just one more sensation piling on top of all the others.
He slanted his lips hard over hers, his kiss almost punishing. His dick worked inside her, shoving deep. Her body bowed under the building waves of pleasure washing through her. It felt so amazing, so hot. They were wild, biting at each other’s lips. His fingers clenched hard around her thighs, jerking her farther open so she couldn’t control the depth of his thrusts. The slapping sound of flesh on flesh turned her on. He manipulated her clit with his fingertips, flicking it in time with his pounding thrusts.
“Kesuk!”
It was more than enough to push her over into orgasm. Her pussy tightened on his cock as she came. Their eyes locked, and she gasped as the midnight irises of his eyes bled all the way to the corners, turning the entire orb coal black. His back bowed hard, hunching forward as he rammed into her, then froze. He threw his head back, his fangs sliding out as he roared his orgasm, his hips pounding forward in short jerking thrusts.
He collapsed onto his elbows, careful not to crush her. His forehead rested against hers as they panted hard. The snap and pop of the roaring fire sounded loud to her ears, and she noticed they’d crashed into the table, spilling their drinks onto the fur rug. That was a mess she didn’t want to explain to Bel. Shoving himself up to balance on his hands, Kesuk pulled out from her pussy. The slide of his cock made her moan. Tugging her wrists free from the cord, he rubbed the circulation back into her fingers. His arms slipped beneath her shoulders, and he lifted her against his chest. Her head fell into the crook of his shoulder and her eyes drifted shut. He dumped her on the bed, and she bounced, her eyes popping wide. Spinning away, he walked stark naked to her door.
She crossed her arms over her bare breasts. What the hell had happened? Hadn’t he enjoyed it as much as her? He was leaving, so apparently not. Humiliation crawled over her skin. “Kesuk?”
She hated that her voice wobbled on his name. Just when she thought she had a handle on the situation, he did something to confuse her again.
He paused, the open door in his hand.
“Is everything okay?”
Why was she even asking? She shouldn’t care. She didn’t even like him. Did she? No. Of course not. Then why had she slept with him? Everything was confusing and out of control again, so she hugged herself tighter and tried to pull back, shutting down the emotions, trying to remain calm and logical like her parents and husband had always insisted. Ten deep breaths and she’d forced herself back to cool composure.
“Everything is fine.”
“Okay. Sure. Thanks for having dinner with me.”
Dinner, right. They hadn’t even eaten. She told herself it didn’t hurt at all that he never looked back, shutting the door behind him with a final thunk. Crawling under the coverlet, she tugged it up to her chin, curled into a tight ball, and escaped into tear-stained sleep.