You’d think with the guitar playing and all, I’d be good at this.

Nimble fingers.

Quick hands.

Not so much.

A chuckle left me just under my breath, and I bit my bottom lip in concentration as I weaved the fat needle through the fabric. Creating a patchwork design. Every shade of pink. Ginghams and calicoes and solids.

So, yeah. Guys might call me a pussy considering I know the names of all those prints. But you know. My mom.

I gripped the needle between clumsy fingers, trying to keep it straight.

Brendon laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. “Dad…you’re doin’ it all wrong.”

“What do you mean, I’m doing it wrong?”

Against the table in the kitchen nook where we were working, he leaned in closer. Place looked like an entire craft fair had exploded in here. So maybe the kid and I had gotten a little carried away at the store.

Sue me.

“You’re putting the ear on backwards.”

“Crap,” I muttered under my breath, and he cracked up. I rustled a hand through his hair. “Where’s your grandma when we need her?”

Dark, dark eyes widened in my direction. Full of mischief. “Good thing not here, because she’d be rollin’ her eyes.”

My jaw dropped in feigned offense.

The kid was a little whip. Testing just how far he could take that sarcasm at every turn. Couldn’t help it. I thought it was the cutest damned thing in the world.

“I’ll have you know, I made that bear…all by myself.” I pointed at the ratty, mangled thing he still refused to give up. “It’s been lastin’ for years. How’s that for someone who has no clue what they’re doing?”

“You got lucky?” he shot back with a lift of his brow.

“Oh, dude…you’re so going down for that.”

He was grinning, getting ready to run, when my girl’s voice came floating through the heavy wooden door separating the kitchen from the rest of the house. “Knock, knock.”

Guess most wouldn’t describe it as sweet, considering it was throaty and sexy as all fuck, just the sound of it raising chills. But that didn’t mean it didn’t land on me like honey.

“Don’t come in,” Brendon yelled, slanting me a wry grin.

“Are you still not finished?” she called back.

“Nope,” he shouted.

I could hear her exaggerated sigh, almost see her smile. “All right then. I’ll just be out here…lonely…waiting…by myself…all alone.”

“Someone’s feeling a little overdramatic,” I playfully said with a wink at my son, and Brendon snickered quietly.

“Think she just likes us,” he said a little innocently.

But fuck.

Yeah.

Guess I got lucky enough, that after everything I’d done, that gorgeous girl did.

“Here, buddy, why don’t you weave this one through?” I suggested as I fed a piece of pink ribbon through the eye of the needle.

Tongue darted out to the side, Brendon finished weaving the last bit through the bear, then helped me sew in the eyes and mouth with black thread.

“You think she’ll like it?” he whispered.

“Think she’ll love it.”

Both of them.

“You ready to give it to her?”

He scrambled down. “Yep.”

He hid it behind his back as we made our way across the huge kitchen. It was a little country, done as a throwback to Savannah where we’d met, the cabinets white and the island sage, countertops gray. Felt homey. Lived in.

Really, the entire expansive place felt that way.

Warm.

Home.

Never really thought I’d get one.

Never thought I’d deserve one.

Thought I’d messed up too many times. Ruined too much good.

And somehow…somehow I’d gotten it all.

I followed Brendon through the sweeping foyer. Night pressed in over the windows—the city resting below—twinkling through the bank of floor-to-ceiling windows in the living and formal dining rooms.

We passed by and ducked into the den that seemed to be Tamar’s favorite spot in the house. Cozy with a fireplace and plush carpet. Walls covered in big blown-ups of some of her favorite shots she’d taken over the years. Some of lightning. Others of us and the rest of our families and friends.

A ton of Brendon.

As I rounded the corner, my damned breath caught in my throat.

Didn’t matter how many times I saw her. It was always a violent jar to my senses. She was bold and brash, a flash of a million brilliant colors shimmering in the night.

Erotic and seductive.

Pure and sweet.

Angel with a little demon woven in between.

So maybe I didn’t mind it all that much when Red came out to play.

Tamar West was all those things.

This perfect contradiction who would always hold me in the palm of her hand.

She was sitting crisscrossed on the floor, her huge belly resting in the well of her legs, wearing a black tank top that hugged all her curves, mouth curving up as she saw us walk in.

Well, I was walking in. Brendon was running. He slid onto his knees on the floor beside her. “We finished your surprise!”

She pushed her fingers through his locks of dark hair. “You did, huh?”

She slanted me a glance that sent a ripple of affection through me.

Gripping my heart.

Filling me with joy.

Couldn’t quite explain what it did to me to see her with my kid. Seeing the way she loved him wholly, took him on as a part of her because he was a part of me, as shocking and sudden as his emergence into our lives had been.

A week after I went to Arizona to get Tamar back, I’d gotten a call from Kenzie that Brendon wanted to see me. That she and Brad had explained to him who I was, as well as someone his age could understand.

We’d taken things slow so Brendon could get used to me being a part of his life. All of their lives, really. I didn’t want to go barging in like some kind of selfish bastard, demanding time I didn’t deserve.

Honestly, I had been surprised Kenzie and Brad were willing to give any at all. But Kenzie had always been that way, kind and wanting the best for everyone, and she thought the best for Brendon would be me being a part of his life.

During that first handful of months, we’d established a routine. I’d go over to take him someplace cool a couple times a week when I was in town and have him spend the night at our place at least once on the weekend.

Even after two years, we still didn’t have some court-appointed visitation. I just respected Kenzie and she respected me, and we let things take their course.

No.

Didn’t get to see him nearly as much as I wanted. But I cherished every single second I got.

Blue tickled his sides. “Let me see,” she playfully demanded. She was doing her best not to laugh.

Brendon messed with her for a few seconds, keeping it hidden behind his back, before that same tender expression climbed across his face. Same look he got when you knew he was feeling something deep. He stilled before he pulled the bear out.

A little gasp shot from her. Even though she knew what we were making, considering she’d seen the two my mom still kept in her kitchen a thousand times, and Brendon’s, which he never let out of his sight.

Still, moisture gathered in her eyes, and she accepted it from Brendon’s cupped hands, moving to gently cradle it on her lap.

“I love it,” she whispered.

“Really?” he asked.

“Really.”

Not able to stay away, I climbed down beside them. Brendon sat on his knees where he hovered over Blue, and I lay low on the other. Just taking in the moment.

“Do you know what it means?” he asked, like he was getting ready to tell her the greatest secret.

“Tell me,” she murmured back.

“Grandma says it represents a family being stitched together by a new birth.” He traced his finger over the blocks of pink. “Each piece of fabric represents the people who make up that family, and the ribbon is the love that binds it all together. She says they’re really good luck.”

A wistful smile pulled along her mouth. “It’s beautiful. I bet this is going to be your sister’s favorite bear.”

He touched a bright pink patch. “This is you,” he whispered, and moved onto another. “And this is Dad.”

His grin was wide and excited. “And this is my baby sister.”

She smiled at him. “And where are you?”

“Right here,” he said, touching the small block of fabric.

Making this family whole.

Seemed crazy after how many years I’d lived alone, committing myself to suffering day after day in debt for what I’d done, that all those hollow places would be filled. So full I could scarcely remember what they felt like.

There was a piece of me that hung onto them, though. No. Not because I remained in that tortured hell.

These two?

They’d resurrected me from it.

But I did keep them as daily reminders to be thankful. To never forget family was a blessing. Never to be neglected or disregarded or treated as anything less than the most important thing in life.

Because that’s what they were.

Life.

We all just hung out on the floor for a bit, chatting, the hour growing late. “All right, buddy, it’s time for bed,” I finally said.

“Ah man,” he exaggerated. “Are you sure you’re a rock star? Because you’re not any fun at all.”

Like I said.

A little whip.

Girls were going to be putty in this boy’s hands. Of course, Sebastian didn’t appreciate it all that much when I suggested Brendon and Kallie were the perfect match, the two thick as thieves and kinda perfect every time they were together.

Chuckling, I hopped up onto my feet. “Oh, dude, you’re really gonna pay for that.”

He was on his feet and racing from the room, flying up the curved stairs leading to the second floor. I chased him, reaching out and just missing him every time.

Some games I was just always gonna let the kid win.

Flying into his room, he hopped onto his bed. I wandered in, pulled his covers up to his chest, and brushed a kiss to his forehead.

Clutching the top of his blankets, he lifted his chin and leaned into it, grinning so fucking wide I felt it right in the center of my chest.

Peace.

Happiness.

Calm.

Tamar was leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over her chest, watching us with that small, tender smile. She finally fumbled forward, that belly that drove me a little wild setting her a bit off balance. She leaned in and ran her fingers through Brendon’s hair.

This kid who’d become our son.

Affection thick.

Real.

Intense.

“Night, Momma Blue,” he said.

“G’night, sweetheart.” She pressed her lips to his cheek, brushing her hand across my chest as she left the room.

I smiled at my son. “Love you, buddy.”

“Love you the most,” he said through that giddy grin.

I let my smile bleed free. Nah. Not even close. But I’d give him that. I kissed his forehead again. “Sleep tight. See you in the morning.”

I crossed his room, flipping the light switch, leaving his door open a crack.

Drawn, I headed toward our room. Knowing she was there. She stood just outside the balcony doors, looking out over the city blinking up at us from below. Black hair blowing in the breeze.

This girl so fucking gorgeous, she turned my heart and ripped my gut, brought me to my knees.

Owned.

Should have known it the first time I saw her.

But sometimes those leading lessons are needed.

Required so we get just how important one person can be.

So we understand they were meant to be.

Just thanked my lucky damned stars she’d agreed.

Things with Sunder had gotten…crazy. The band had gotten bigger than we ever could have dreamed. Had known it’d been coming for a long damned time, but Sebastian finally stepped down a little more than a year ago.

Couldn’t hardly blame the guy. The time he wanted with his family was not time he wanted to spend on the road. But he hadn’t left us entirely. He’d purchased Anthony’s place out on Tybee Island, recording studio already intact, and had turned his talent to producing. Mostly he worked with us, but he had a few other bands that wanted to record away from the fast pace of the city.

Nah.

I didn’t step up and take his place. Truth was, I didn’t want to lead. That role? It belonged to someone else. Someone I’d put down bets had belonged there all along.

Blue and I kept a house in Savannah, too.

But we mostly hung in L.A., being closer to her family, closer to mine, and what mattered more than anything was this was Brendon’s home. Of course, Tamar had never minded jumping on a plane and traveling with me, the girl all too eager to get out on the floor and get lost in the music.

Guess this girl was my biggest fan.

She never went anywhere without that camera. Her inspiration found every day. Everywhere. In the way she looked at the world.

With the baby coming in just a few weeks, things had to change. Knew she couldn’t simply up and leave whenever she wanted.

But I’d been wrong.

Faulty in thinking I couldn’t have a family and Sunder, too.

Because this girl had given me it all. My dreams. Playing. Making music. Loving her.

I got them both.

I got it all.

I edged up behind her and gathered her up, her back pressing to my chest, her belly in my hands.

I held them.

Protective.

Possessive.

That baby girl jumped and kicked.

Fuck.

I was so in love. Couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms. To do it right.

I nuzzled my nose into Blue’s hair. “Hey, baby.”

She sighed, a sound so content it wrung me through.

“You know what it does to me? Finding you standing out here like this? Lookin’ like my favorite fantasy?”

She giggled. “Hardly.”

But that’s where this girl was wrong.

She was everything I liked.

Everything I wanted.

Just touching her, my dick was already hard. Needing to touch. Explore. Feel. Take this girl because she was mine.

So damned deliciously hot.

Lust-inducing and heart-inspiring.

She was every single thing I’d had no clue I was going to need.

My lips caressed her temple. “You’re so damned beautiful. So sexy. Wanna spend my life buried in you.”

She giggled again, but this time it was a seductive sound. “What do you mean, want? Pretty sure you’re giving that a good go.”

A soft chuckle rumbled from my chest. “Can you blame me?”

She snuggled deeper into my hold. “How’d we get this life?”

I held her a little closer. God, she smelled so good, all cinnamon and spice with a dash of sweet.

“Think we were just meant to be. From the second I saw you, there was something pulling at me. Everywhere. Not sure I could have ever stayed away. Feel like one way or another, I would have found you.”

Her voice was wistful. “Or I would have found you.”

My lips caressed along the delicate slope of her neck. “Because you would have heard me calling…didn’t even know you, and already you were written in my songs.”

She threaded her fingers through mine, the words stamped across my knuckles on display where our clamped hands were pressed against her chest.

Sing my soul.

I’d thought it a curse.

Loving someone. Just making yourself susceptible to heartache and sorrow and pain.

All the burdened bullshit I could no longer bear.

“And I always would have heard you,” she murmured into the night.

But loving her?

This girl?

She eased all the pain.

Erased that overwhelming sorrow.

Filled up the hollow void.

Showed me how to live.

Once I’d thought her the worst kind of temptation. Destruction and blinding light. The kind of girl who could wreck every last thing I believed.

Blue…

Guess she was.

Temptation.

She’d tempted me to live.

Now, I was gonna spend this life living it for her.

With her.

She swiveled in my arms and hiked up on her toes, the girl so short she struggled to get to me. I could feel my smile where it was pressed to her mouth. So damned sweet.

Could feel her racing through my veins.

Fire.

This girl was a bundle of fireworks.

Waiting for a match.

I swooped her into my arms and carried her to our bed, set her in the middle of it.

Gazed down on this girl staring up at me.

Hard and soft.

Tainted and pure.

Vixen and angel.

She touched my face just as sure as she touched my heart.

She was every hue of color, reds and blues, the darkest black and blinding white.

Energy and life.

Boom.

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