I glanced at the clock.

Five minutes to go. I felt anxious. Excited and nervous as if I was welcoming an old friend home, mixed with an undercurrent of fear.

Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I took in my appearance, my skinny jeans ripped at the knee, tight-fitted black tee with a cool print, and the only boots I owned that didn’t have a heel.

Yeah, my hair was pinned up the way I knew Lyrik liked it, because when it came to him, I was a sucker like that.

Wear something comfortable because I want you on the back of my bike.

That’s what he’d told me while we were saying goodbye at my door last night. He’d insisted on following me home after work, then informed me he was taking me out today since it was Sunday and I had the next two days off.

He’d shot me one of those deadly smiles and dropped a peck of a kiss against my lips, before he’d backed away while I’d melted against my door.

I’d been disappointed he didn’t ask to come in.

I guess that was the answer to all my questions, what-ifs, and internal warnings.

I wanted him.

I wanted what he was willing to give, even though I had the sinking feeling it was never going to be enough.

This boy was going to scar me in an entirely different way.

Three knocks echoed from the door. Taking in a deep breath, I strode from my bedroom, then opened it without all the reservations I’d expected to feel.

That breath left me in a whoosh.

Lyrik stood in my doorway. Filled it, really. His presence so thick and potent it shook my knees. Black hair blowing in the breeze. Eyes playful.

“Hey,” he said with a smirk ticking up at the corner of his mouth. A hint of that cockiness made a resurgence as he leaned his shoulder against the jam and let his gaze wander over me.

I quirked a brow. “Hey.”

He grinned. “Hope you’re ready.”

“Yep.” I stepped outside and locked the door behind us. “Care to tell me what I’m ready for?”

“Well, to get things started, I have a little surprise for you. Thought after that, we’d give the normal couple thing a whirl and grab a bite to eat.” He shrugged. “Then I figured we’d head back to my apartment and make out like teenagers.”

Leaning in close, he whispered in my ear. “Maybe if you’re up for it, I’ll make you come.”

Tingles touched me everywhere.

Desire I’d never expected to feel.

Security I’d never thought I’d find.

And again I loved he didn’t tiptoe. Loved he didn’t treat me as if I were breakable. As if I would fall apart with one wrong look. I struggled to maintain casualness. The tease. “Wow, guess you find no need to beat around the bush. You seem awful sure about yourself, rock star.”

Easy laughter rumbled through the air and thrummed through my chest. He wrapped both his arms around my waist, making me sigh, and he tugged me against him. With a glimmer in his eyes, he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. “What, you’d rather go back to your place? I’m okay with that.”

“Oh, you think this is about location? I was thinking more about your ability to please.”

“Baby, I know all about location. And there’s no question about my ability to please. You just let me know when you’re ready for it.”

My own laughter rolled, and I wound an arm around his neck. It felt too easy. Too good. The two of us batting back and forth. Though now it was done without an ounce of the animosity it’d held before. I blinked up at him with wide eyes. “I’ll be sure to let you know.”

He gave me a grin I felt rock the earth, before his expression shifted. It filled with a softness I was just coming to recognize in this man. He ran his fingers through my hair, his head tipped back enough to fully take me in. “Thank you.”

My throat tightened, and I felt the crease form on my brow. “For what?”

He glanced away, as if he were struggling, before looking back. “For trusting me. It’s been a long time since someone has.”

He seemed to shake himself off, and he took a step back, grabbed the helmet he’d left waiting on the ground, and extended his hand. “Come on, let’s go or we’re going to be late.”

“Late, huh? Should I start making guesses at where you’re taking me?”

“Nope.” He glanced back at me as he led me down the exterior stairs. “Have you ever been on a bike before?”

A pang hit me hard and I stumbled a step. I forced it down and buried it where it belonged. “Yeah…a few times.”

Back when I was brave and believed the world was at my feet. Back before he’d ruthlessly brought me to kneel at his.

“Good…then I won’t have to go easy on you, Red,” Lyrik said with mischief.

A light chuckle rolled from me. Not that I ever imagined this boy would.

In front of his bike, he turned to me and placed the open-faced helmet on my head. Those eyes flicked all over my face as he worked the straps under my chin. Taking my hand again, he straddled the bike, his long legs stretched wide for balance, the man so intensely beautiful for a moment it stuttered my heart.

I sucked in a steadying breath. He never let me go as he guided me to climb on behind him.

I trembled a little when I did, old memories coming fast, just as fast as my downfall had. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around Lyrik’s waist and pressed my nose into his T-shirt right below his neck. Breathed in his severity. His heat. His danger. And somehow I didn’t feel scared.

He kicked the engine over, and his Harley rumbled to life. Gleaming chrome vibrated with power. A little like the man at its helm. “Hold on tight,” he yelled as he tucked me closer, his hand protective on my thigh. Right over the serpent tattoo he seemed a little obsessed with.

Temptation.

This tattoo had come later.

I got it as a reminder of how easily we can be blinded by the things we might want. By the things that might not necessarily be good for us.

Like that extra piece of candy I had always wanted that my mother would have warned would be too much because it might cause a belly ache or rot my teeth.

Lyrik rolled us back with his feet, before he took to the street.

And I knew I was defenseless to this temptation. Whatever path he led me down, I would follow, whether he would hurt or heal.

Somehow I knew he would bring me both.

The bike ate up the road as Lyrik traversed the quaint Savannah streets. Heat blasted at my face and the engine roared. Shade blinked across my eyes, the trees tall and proud and offering their relief from the intense summer warmth. Still, I blistered with it, my insides on fire, my skin alive, as I held on to this menacing boy as he took me for a ride.

Wherever he wanted me to go.

Trust.

It was a precarious thing. But it was there.

Five minutes later, he eased into a parallel parking spot running the street in the Historic District not that far from our apartments. The sign hanging outside the shop on the ground floor of the old building directly in front of us boasted it’s offering.

Tattoos.

A stir of unease twisted through my stomach.

Lyrik helped me off, and I just waited while he unfastened my helmet and hooked it over the handlebar.

He eyed me, the bright gold and gray flecks reflected in the black. “What’s wrong?” he finally asked.

Wringing my hands, I looked warily toward the shop. “We’re getting tattoos?”

Smiling, he tugged at my hand and walked backward in some kind of excitement as he edged toward the shop. “Figured it’d be fitting, right?”

I hesitated.

“Come on, Red.” A razzing tease coated his tone. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little needle.”

He let his gaze travel my body that was not nearly as inked as his, but still, it was blatantly clear I was no stranger to the gun.

“No…I’m just…” I blinked as I searched for the right description. God. This was stupid. What was I supposed to say?

“I’m happy,” I settled on, hoping that would pacify him.

He quirked a brow, his words slowed as if he couldn’t possibly keep up with my craziness. “And you…don’t get tattooed…when…you’re…happy?”

I’d always gotten tattooed for one reason and one reason only.

I did it to cover up what Cameron Lucan left behind.

That feeling stirred through me.

Fight or flight.

Funny how I’d thought I’d been fighting all along. Standing tall. An impenetrable fortress that could never be knocked down.

Really, all I’d been doing was running.

For far too long.

I sucked in a deep breath, hiked up on my toes, and pressed a kiss to his flirty mouth. “Let’s do this.”

Grinning, his excitement reappeared. He turned to pull the door open and gestured for me to go ahead of him. He stopped me just as I was passing the threshold, and he dipped down so he could whisper in my ear. “What are you going to get?”

What was I going to get?

Lyrik was smiling. This complex, complicated, infuriating man who I wanted to dig inside of until I discovered all there was to find. Until the only thing I knew was him.

Or maybe until he turned my reflection back on me.

Yeah. I was going to get something I should have gotten a long time ago.

“How about instead of telling you, I let you see it later?”

His smile curved into a smirk. “Ah, Red, I like the way you think.”

Neither of us had showed the other our new tattoos, the art covered and taped up throughout the rest of our first date. If that’s what you wanted to call it. But it felt like one. Like we were just beginning even though we’d put an expiration date on whatever this was.

Dinner had been easy. The two of us had joked around the entire time, never traversing into the serious topics that seemed to hover unanswered around us.

The truth was, I couldn’t help but feel this niggle of pride at what I’d gotten permanently etched on myself. It was so different than what I typically used to conceal the damage. So different from what I wore as armor.

It was hope.

Because for the first time in a long time, I felt it. Because for the first time in a very long time, someone had taken the time to break that armor down. To really step back and look at me.

Now I held tight to his beautiful body as we rode the streets. Heat comforted like a familiar caress as the wind whipped against our faces.

Lyrik made a few quick turns back in the direction of our apartment building, his movements fluid and skilled. When we neared, he slowed, and his feet came out to balance us as he eased into his spot.

He killed the engine.

Silence swallowed us whole and a hushed anticipation trembled in the heavens.

Or maybe it was my hands and the butterflies that wouldn’t sit still in my belly.

God, this wasn’t me. A bundle of anxious nerves. Not until Lyrik West rode in and changed all the rules.

I hugged him tight one last time, as if I needed to give myself a buoy of reassurance. Slowly, he swiveled a fraction on the seat. Those dark eyes were appraising. As if he could see right through me to every fear I had hiding inside.

Slowly, he unwound my hands that were clamped around his waist and guided me to stand. Never releasing me, he swung his leg over the bike and stood.

Rising to his full height.

Stealing my breath. My thoughts. Overtaking my mind.

I was on such dangerous ground. I could feel it shaking underneath.

He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. His potency both sweet and severe. “You say the word, and this night ends right here.”

I gazed up at him. My heart rate sped in fear and adrenaline and want. And again, I didn’t want to be afraid. “I don’t want it to end.”

Not at all.

Thoughtful eyes gauged, before he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead where he murmured his promise. “Slow.”

Slow.

Overwhelming gratitude welled in my chest. It was crazy how this intimidating boy could so easily set me at ease.

Giving me time when I’d had no idea until two nights ago just how desperately I was going to need it.

He glanced back as he led me up the stairs. “My place or yours?”

“Yours.”

He turned the key in the lock and led us into the waiting darkness of his apartment. Muted lights from the Savannah street outside his French doors trickled in from below, the living room cast in dancing shadows.

He moved aside. “It’s all yours.”

I wandered into his living room. Over my shoulder, I looked back at him when I realized the disaster I’d stumbled upon last Wednesday had been cleaned.

With his index finger, he scratched at his temple. There was something absurdly endearing about him when he seemed unsure of himself, and another rigid part of my exterior creaked with the pressure.

“Uh…I picked up a bit since the last time you were here.”

Funny how that day seemed a lifetime ago.

I smiled back at him and tried to force a tease as I looked around the space. “Ah…it looks like you need to add Mr. Clean to your list of alter egos…or did you really sneak someone in here to get this place in shape to impress me?”

My smile faded when I looked back again to where he lingered near the door. My head drifted to the side to take him in as his expression shifted through a thousand emotions.

Regret. Sorrow. Lust.

And a longing that nearly brought me to my knees.

Desire trembled through my body.

I wanted to crawl inside him.

To discover every secret.

Even though I got the crushing feeling knowing him would be the end of me.

Cautiously, he edged forward.

Tall.

Beautiful.

Strong.

The air filled up with him. So thick I wasn’t sure I could breathe.

Gently he wound his fingers through my hair. Not so gently he tugged my head back and pinned me with that stare. Slowly he dipped down, my stomach in a thousand blissful knots as he left a dizzying trail of kisses down my neck.

Soft, silken lips.

Little flicks of tongue.

Tingles spread in a wildfire of sensation.

Then his voice was at my ear. Whispering belief. “Blue.”

Blue. Blue. Blue.

She was so scared and unsure and innocently brave. Because she wanted all the things I’d learned the hard way the world didn’t have to give. But she wanted me to fight for them anyway.

Callused fingertips trailed down my sides, and I trembled when they edged under the hem of my shirt. Skin to skin.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice like gravel.

My answer scraped from my throat. “Yes.”

Lyrik pulled my tee over my head, slow but sure.

A cool rush of air sent a rush of chills skating free across the flames. My chest heaved as Lyrik stared down at me in my jeans and bra. Eating me up with that irresistible intensity.

I knew my eyes were wild as I looked up at him. My pulse hammered and my spirit thrashed.

“Blue,” he murmured again as he went down onto his knees. He peeked up at me every few seconds as he worked the bandage free from my side. My belly shook as he peeled the bandage away and exposed the statement that had been etched into my side over my ribs, from my hip bone to just under my arm pit on the left side. And I knew the area needed to be cleaned. But somehow right then, I didn’t care.

I just wanted him to see.

The four simple letters were written in a big, scrolling font, and swirls and flowers extended from the first and last letters.

Rise.

Lightly, he drummed his fingertips over the design, not quite touching the raw skin.

His unyielding gaze latched onto mine. “I think you already have.”

Uneasily, I shook my head. “No…for a year, you’ve been chasing a runner. All I’ve done is hide while pretending I was strong.” A pained breath left me. “But that’s not me, Lyrik. All of this…” I waved my hand over my body, “it’s just a show.”

He pushed to his feet. His body moved in a slight sway. Mine followed. That magnet I couldn’t escape.

I was helpless to this fascinating man.

He placed his palm on my neck, and his thumb traced along my collarbone. “No.”

Obsidian eyes flashed, and he leaned in closer. “This girl…this bold, brave girl. She’s a part of you. I see her. She’s real. Red,” he murmured on a sigh, brushing his lips against mine.

He pulled back to look at my face. “But maybe…maybe you’re just outgrowing that season of your life. Maybe you don’t need her as bad as you used to and now Blue is bleeding through. Maybe she wants to be heard, too. To have a voice in your life.”

Blinking through the tears, I shook my head. “How could you know?”

It wasn’t a rebuttal or defense.

It was concession.

Surrender.

His mouth fell against mine.

Hard.

Unyielding.

His big hands wrapped around me, way up high, heated palms flat at the center of my upper back. Lifting me to him.

I sank all the way in. Into his kiss and his hold and his violently beating heart.

“I don’t know who he is…what he did,” he muttered, the words almost maniacally interwoven with our kiss. He never broke for air. Instead, he was stealing it. Stealing everything. Sanity and light and fear.

“But with me? Your safe word is no. You got that, Blue? None of that playing games bullshit. This…this is real. And if it gets too much…you say it. You say it. All you have to say is no.”

He pulled back, lines carved into his face like a plea. “Do you hear me?”

Affection poured free.

“I hear you.”

My fingers dug into his shoulders because I could no longer stand.

A needy sound slipped up my throat, and he pushed me up against the wall.

It was so familiar to where we’d been two nights ago.

But everything…everything was different.

An age gone in the understanding of his touch.

And he was soft and gentle and rough.

Careful yet challenging.

And he was suddenly back on his knees.

My back pressed against the wall for support as I panted for breath.

Unzipping my boots, he pulled them off, then his adept fingers were flicking free the buttons of my jeans.

Those palms were suddenly on my bare thighs, gliding down to rid me of my jeans. He placed kisses at my belly as he did.

I gasped and bucked.

His mouth turned gentle and soft as he breathed at the front of my lacy underwear.

Oh. God.

He hooked his fingers in the edges. “All you have to say is no.”

But I had no breath or words, and if I did, I would have been begging him for more. Instead, I wove my fingers through the softness of his hair.

Drawing him closer in a silent plea.

He groaned. “Blue.”

Cool air hit me as he dragged my panties free. His hands slid all the way down to twist them from my ankles, then slid all the way back up until he was gripping me at both thighs, staring up at me with all that darkness. Pulling me deeper. Taking me further.

Leaning in, he licked deep in my folds and dragged his tongue all the way to my clit. Never once did he break the fierce gaze.

A shudder and a moan and a whimpered, “Yes.”

That was all the approval he needed. He hooked my leg over his shoulder and pulled my ass away from the wall, his hands gripping it as he hauled me closer and devoured every last sensibility.

Barreled through every wall and shattered every defense.

He licked and sucked and fucked me with his mouth until I was a quivering mess in his capable hands.

Until I could feel the current running through my chest. Until I could feel the trembles of warning that rippled through the dense air. Energy crackled. Bristled across my skin and shook me to my bones.

As if nitrogen and oxygen had come alive.

As if every element in the air was combustible.

Explosive.

The buzz before the strike.

I was aware that in the mere flash of a second and without warning I could be consumed by the force. By nature and blinding light.

Incinerated.

He pushed two fingers into my sex.

I exploded beneath the intensity. Carried into the storm. Into heat and fire and blinding light.

Flash after flash after flash.

Powerless.

Burned.

Branded.

I slumped back and slid down the wall. Right into his arms.

He held me, kissed me, and ran his fingers through my hair. “Blue…brave, beautiful Blue.”

My world rocked, I kissed him back. I rose onto my knees as I steadied myself on his shoulders.

A frenzy hit me.

Need. Need. Need.

I yanked at his shirt. He lifted his arms so I could tear it over his head, our kiss broken for the flash of a second before I was back on him. Our chests mashed together. Desperate for the connection.

I rocked my body against his, every big, beautiful inch of him hard and begging.

“Slow,” he murmured at my mouth, and I smiled against him. It was a wistful smile that sent emotion billowing through my insides.

In that moment, I fell for him a little more.

This cruel, dangerous boy with the softest heart.

I urged him to lie back on the thick, plush rug that took up most of his living room floor.

It was my turn to see what he had hidden on his side.

Kneeling over him, I slowly peeled back the bandage. Through the double French doors, light filtered down in a dusky haze, illuminating his body.

But what I couldn’t seem to look away from was his face. It was screwed up as if he were in physical pain, his eyes pinched closed and his back arched from the floor.

As if he were bracing for war.

Ready to defend himself.

Agony.

It was written there, in the rigid set of his muscles, in the shield that I knew all too well.

I stifled my gasp when I saw what he had imprinted on his side. It was in an area that was already heavily tattooed. It seemed impossible another would fit or stand out.

But it did.

Come winter she’ll be gone.

The intense flare of jealousy that slammed into me was something I most definitely could not afford.

Because I knew this confession was not intended for me.

And I was nothing but a fool for even contemplating the fact.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This was bad.

What if it hurts when you’re gone?

Baby, I’m not worth the pain.

Those words came crashing down.

Because it already hurt.

I made to crawl back. To get away. To find a wall or a shield or more importantly a door.

I could already feel myself ripping apart.

Lyrik’s arm flew out and he gripped me by the back of the neck, stopping my escape.

“Don’t.” A plea was wrapped up in the hard demand. Lines pulled between his brow, and he struggled for words. “Two months, Blue…we’ve got two months…and two months can’t take you as deep as that goes.”

And I ached and I hurt and I wanted to make it better. To offer him what he was offering me.

Refuge. Asylum. A sanctuary until I was strong enough to find a new path. To find myself. Whoever she was supposed to be.

Even though I knew doing so was just setting myself up to be broken more.

With my spirit pulled in every direction, I gave in and placed frantic kisses all over his chest, across the swirls of ink, and down the sharp cut of his abdomen. A canvas of beauty with so much hidden pain.

I jerked through the buttons of his fly.

“Shit,” Lyrik hissed, both shocked but still completely turned on. His cock jumped free when I pulled his jeans down to his thighs.

I shuddered a little at the sight of it. It was just as big, bold, and threatening as the rest of him.

My stomach knotted and my mouth went dry.

“Red,” he whispered on a moan when I wrapped both hands around him at the base, stroking up his length and gliding back down.

Everything shook. My heart and my hands and the room. Because I wanted this even though I was afraid.

Desire twisted through the fear as I watched the glistening bead appear at the tiny slit.

Maybe I was a fool, but I loved I had the ability to affect him this way.

I moaned as I leaned forward so I could taste. So I could experience this man. Of my own free will.

My. Choice.

That moan became a rumble in the back of my throat as I drew him deeply into my mouth. As far as I could take him. Both my hands began to work him in sync with my mouth.

I felt powerful and beautiful.

Real.

He bucked and arched and groaned, his hands tangled in my hair.

Exhilaration simmered in the air.

The thrill.

“Blue.”

A rush of energy captured me, and I kept on driving him higher and higher and higher. Until I knew he would break.

“Fuck,” he mumbled.

He clutched me tightly when he came. “Blue…Blue…Blue.”

I swallowed, riding with him through every last wave. Because I knew without a doubt, with him was where I wanted to be.

We both jerked and trembled with the aftershocks.

I collapsed forward onto his chest. Panting. Reeling.

Lyrik flung his forearm over his eyes, the other still rustling through my hair. Faint sounds of the traffic made it feel as if we were elevated above it all, our breaths and the pounding of our hearts and all the questions still roaring through my head the only sounds in the room.

His voice broke through the sudden quiet. “That was…unexpected.”

I chewed at my bottom lip while I let my fingertips play across the bristling muscle of his chest. “Yeah,” I whispered softly.

My need for him had hit with the force of a desert storm.

Because there was a piece of me already tethered to him. This piece that screamed we were the same. That we belonged.

Like Charlie had said, lonely recognized lonely.

And my heart recognized him.

Almost shyly, I peeked up at him. He grinned a sloppy grin.

Sated and satisfied.

“You, beautiful Blue, just completely blew my mind.”

“I think it’s you who continue to blow mine.”

He shifted me a fraction so he could readjust his pants, and I moved, turned my back on him.

Hit with a rush of awkwardness, I dug through my jeans and found my panties, then pulled them back on.

What are you doing, Tamar? He’s going to wreck you.

Destroy and plunder and invade.

My hands were shaking when I fumbled with my jeans. I froze when I felt his hot mouth moving slowly across my shoulder blade and kissing down my spine. From behind, he unwound my fingers from my jeans and dropped them back to the floor.

“Don’t get dressed,” he whispered against my skin. “Don’t hide from me. I want to feel you.”

Oh God. This man.

He saw right through it all.

How did he get me?

Lying back down, Lyrik took my hand and pulled me with him until I was completely sprawled across him. Chest to chest. He tucked my head under his chin. He let his fingers draw lazy circles down my back, and I shivered as I curled more deeply into his hold. His gentle touches explored, until he was moving across the skin of my lower back just above my underwear.

I flinched as he ran them purposefully across the old scars. As if he already knew they were there.

“He did this?” His voice was hoarse as he brought me back to my admission from earlier, and I could feel the tremor of violence that came with the question. I could feel his hatred for the man who had stolen my innocence and belief.

“That was my first tattoo,” I admitted into the stillness, clutching his side as he continued to caress across the scars.

Sometimes I wondered how the long-healed wounds that now were barely palpable could remain so profound.

“When I came here…to Savannah…I was so scared. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. I only knew I didn’t want to be that stupid, naive girl anymore. I dyed my hair, changed the way I dressed, did my makeup differently. Anything so when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see simple, unsuspecting Tamar.”

I drew in a breath. “And as soon as those wounds were healed enough, I went and got them covered. There was something about it that made me feel brave. Stronger. As if I’d put some kind of separation between him and me. A barrier. As if I’d blocked some of it out.”

A tremor rolled through Lyrik, and his hold tightened in time with the hard breath he released. “Who was he? Tell me, baby. I need to know.”

Somehow his question sounded like both encouragement and a threat.

A part of me wanted to tell him two months couldn’t take him as deep as those scars went. To throw his defense back in his face. Part of me wanted to hide behind the same kind of walls he hid behind.

There was no question now.

I heard it in his voice at night. In the words he sang and the sorrow it imbued. In the words etched on his skin. Most of all, I felt it in his touch.

But the stronger part of me? I just needed to tell someone something. But it wasn’t just someone. It was him. This beautiful, terrifying man who filled me with such trepidation and fear and need. The one who felt like peril and air and belief. The one who broke me down and exposed what was underneath.

That girl?

She wanted to lie here in the security of Lyrik’s arms and whisper her secrets into his darkness. Somehow I knew he would keep her safe.

No, I couldn’t take him all the way. That name had been a secret on my tongue for far too long. But I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. From giving him the pieces I wanted him to hold. “When I first met him, I thought he was everything I wanted.”

Like he’d been struck, Lyrik flinched. “You knew him? You were with him?”

I shuddered with the onslaught of memories, and I realized Lyrik had absolutely no clue about my past other than the fact I’d freaked out when he’d touched me. I wondered how many different scenarios had played out in his head. “Yeah.”

Old pain wove through me like a rusted needle.

Tamar King wanted to stand up and crush it. She wanted to lift her chin in defiance and sneer and shout to the world that no man had the power to hurt her.

Instead, I turned my head so I was speaking against Lyrik’s thundering heart, my voice barely above a whisper. “On the outside, he was a lot like you. Dark. Dangerous. Beautiful.”

Warily, I glanced up at him. “That’s why I hated that you made me feel the way you did. I hated the fact that the first man I was attracted to in four years physically reminded me so much of him. That you made me feel excited and alive. So I fought back the only way I knew how.”

Squeezing me, he pressed a fierce but tender kiss to the top of my head. “I would never hurt you.”

My insides quaked. I was sure that wasn’t true. This man was quickly gaining the power to destroy me in so many ways. But I knew that wasn’t what he meant.

I nodded against his chest. “I know.”

His silence urged me to continue. “He was older than me by more than ten years. At first, I wanted to be with him so badly…wanted to experience the intense way he made me feel…that I ignored the warning signs. I was such a fool. I look back now, and they all were there. I ignored my parents when they begged me to stop seeing him. I isolated myself from them so I wouldn’t have to hear the worry in their pleas for me to see reason.”

I stared unseeing into the shadows that played along the wall. “I think my mom knew it the first time she met him. We were always so close, and I couldn’t wait for her to meet my new boyfriend. Because all the boys I’d dated before had been exactly that. Boys. But he was a man.”

The words turned shaky and regretful as I thought back to that day. The memory so clear. Vivid. “I’d been so excited…proud to introduce him. My mother…she’d paled the second she’d touched his skin when she shook his hand. I can still almost feel it…the cold dread that had filled our tiny kitchen. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes…the fear. After he left, she’d grabbed me by the arm, pleading, warning me he was dangerous. If only I would have listened.”

He swallowed hard. “Blue.”

I just kept on, my voice a whisper as I told Lyrik things I’d never told anyone. “He was a monster. Twisted in the worst way. At the beginning, he’d taunted me that I was too young…too inexperienced…that I couldn’t handle his lifestyle and I’d just turned right around and promised I could.”

A lump grew so thick at the base of my throat I could barely speak. “I had no idea what I was promising. And I couldn’t handle it, Lyrik. No one should. It started out as rough play. Things I wasn’t really comfortable with, but didn’t really hurt me. But before I knew what was happening, before I could stop it, it was torture.”

Rage. It was tangible. The way it expanded and surged, rolls and rolls coming from Lyrik’s body.

“I hope he’s burning in hell right now,” he said as he tightened his hold. Like he would never let me go.

“I wish that were the truth.”

I wished he were dead or rotting behind bars, right where the sadist belonged. But no. He was free.

Because of me.

Because I’d thought I was brave and it’d turned out I was nothing but a coward.

Lyrik lifted my wrist and pressed the underside to his mouth, over the scars that remained there from where I’d struggled and fought to break the ties, where ink disguised the evidence of my bonds.

“The scars are my enemy,” I whispered hard. “I covered my wrists next, and again, it felt good. It became this sick pattern. Every time I got scared or felt small, I would get another tattoo. Even after the exterior wounds were covered. Until I’d built up this guise that warned everyone off. I never wanted anyone to see.”

He tucked his chin and at the same time he lifted mine toward him. Intense, knowing eyes darted all over my face. Searching. Seeking. Defining. “But you let me.”

A roll of soggy laughter rolled from somewhere within. “Maybe that’s because you’re the first person who refused to let me hide.”

Maybe it was because he was all the things I had always wanted, but shouldn’t have. Couldn’t have. The darkest light. A disturbed safety. Stony and impenetrable and devastatingly soft.

I smiled a wistful smile. “And I think I’d been running from you for so long, when I finally stopped, you crashed right into me and ripped everything open wide.”

And it just kept spilling out.

“You revealed things I didn’t even know were still there.” Tears gathered in my eyes. I swatted at the one that fell. “I hate being this person. Weak. Fragile. Powerless.”

He held me tighter, the words a breath at the top of my head. “No…sweet, brave, beautiful Blue. Pretty sure you might be the strongest person I know. You’re here. Alive. Living. Strong enough to open that gorgeous mouth and voice what the sick bastard did to you.”

The words dropped low. “And now you’re here, lying with me. You were strong enough to leave.”

I looked up at him and revealed the one thing I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know. “I didn’t leave…I escaped.”

And I’d been running ever since.

Darkness clouded around his features, a storm gathering strength. “I want to know who he is. Just a fucking name. That’s all I need.”

The words trembled. “And I just want to forget. I want you to erase him. Like you promised you would.”

Not drag him out into the light.

Because I wasn’t ready. And I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be.

Pure menace rumbled at the top of my head. “Erase is exactly what I want to do.”

This man. Menacing and terrifying and intimidating.

And I’d never felt safer.

I drew in a breath and let my fingertips play over the bars of the song that wound up his arm. I wondered if I could decipher his song. Flowers and leaves climbed in between, and in the muted light, I squinted, focusing in on the name hidden within.

Brendon.

My gut twisted in a slow, sinking dread as I carefully traced the lettering.

As if I’d touched an apparition, fingers disappearing into the misty vapors.

I knew the moment it struck him. A pain so brutal I felt it splitting through him and crashing into me. And again Lyrik was flinching. Deflecting. Shielding and shuttering. Shutting me out.

Two seconds after I’d let him in.

Slowly, I withdrew my shaking hand and tried to reassemble some of my well-practiced, hardened exterior. Because my insides felt raw and achy and sore. As if I was bleeding out. Bleeding for this boy when he was only going to cut me deeper.

God, this got messy and fast. And I knew better. I knew it all along.

“I should go,” I muttered as I rolled from him.

He snatched my wrist. “Stay.”

I gasped, and he loosened his hold. Those dark, penetrating eyes swam with turmoil. “Please,” he said.

“I have no idea what you want from me. What you’re asking of me.”

“Two months, Blue. I’m asking you for two months.”

Could I cope with that? With getting this small piece of him and maybe finding some of the missing pieces of me?

Tenderly, he ran his fingers through my hair. “Please.”

“Okay,” I whispered, because with him no didn’t seem to exist.