Chapter Fourteen – Kyle

“The gorge,” she whispers. “Let’s go there.”

I take my arms from her waist and grab her hand. “Quickly. Before anyone notices us.” I tug her after me.

She giggles. “Like anyone will care.”

“My sister.”

“Least of all her.” Roxy’s blue eyes are shining with a happiness I really haven’t seen in a while as she looks up at me. “She told me this morning I should sleep with you.”

“You should.” The words blurt out before I can stop them and she freezes.

“You’re not a jerk.”

“Exactly.” I pull her into the woods. Toward me. “I know how to do something other than fuck a girl like she’s worthless.”

“Even if she is?” Her voice is quiet.

“Roxy.” I wrap my arm around her waist again and tilt her face up so her eyes are on mine. “Nothing about you is worthless. You are worth everything.”

She swallows, blinks harshly, and threads her fingers through mine when she pulls away. “I knew you’d play the field at college.”

Hey there. “Are you calling me man whore?” I smirk and let her pull me along.

She shrugs. “Fraternity,” is all she responds. Like that’s a good reason. Actually… I remember Braden and Aston before their asses were tamed.

“I’m no man whore.” I close the short distance between us and wrap my arms around her shoulders from behind.

“I don’t believe you.” Her cheeks twitch with her smile and her face turns into mine.

I move my lips to her ear. “You don’t need to be a man whore to know how to make love to someone well enough. You just need the right girl.”

My carefully chosen words have the effect on her I wasn’t expecting. She swallows again and lets out a deep breath with a tremble. Huh. Seems Miss-Casual-Fuck isn’t quite so okay with the idea of something realer.

“You win,” she breathes out. “Point taken.”

I grin and release her again. Not because I want to – but because she needs to be able to walk properly. If I could, I’d keep her against me all damn day. It’d certainly be easier for me when I decide to talk her down from her little antics. She’s gonna try to run a mile.

“Did you bring me here deliberately?” She looks at me with raised eyebrows.

“Where?” I glance around and notice the pool Cam pushed her in a few years ago. “Ah. No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Seriously. I was too busy looking at various parts of your body.”

She barks out a laugh and slaps my chest, making me grin. “Prove it.”

What is it with this girl and challenging me at every turn?

“You asked for it.”

I spin her into a large tree near to us and meld our bodies together. My lips crash into hers, and I sink into the softness of her body. I half expect her to push me away, but she doesn’t. She grabs the sides of my shirt, winds her fingers in the material, and holds me to her. Her tongue flicks out against mine, teasing me, and she grazes my bottom lip with her teeth.

I cup the back of her head with one hand and slide my other across her back and down. My fingers curve round her ass, pulling her hips into mine. She makes a small whimpering sound in the back of her throat and I swear to God, all the blood in my body rushes down to my dick. My erection presses into her stomach. She shifts against me, moving ever closer, and knocks my hand from her head. Her hands guide mine to her thighs, and I get it.

Her tongue dives into my mouth as I lift her with only the tree supporting her. Her legs wrap around my waist, her feet locking at my back, and she grabs the back of my head. I run my hands along her thighs, my thumbs teasing at the apex of them, and she pushes herself into me.

I want this girl. Fuck, I do. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else in my life, and if she was anything less than everything to me I’d take her up against this tree in a split second.

But she is. She’s everything. And when I do have her it’ll be somewhere I can explore every inch of her body the way it should be explored.

“Roxy,” I whisper against her jaw. “We have to stop.”

She lets a long, shaky breath escape from between her swollen lips. “Why?”

I lower her to the ground slowly and push her hair from her face with a kiss to her forehead. “We just do, okay?”

I’m not about to tell her we have to stop because I’m worried one time is all it will take to make me fall in love with her.

~

“Protect her.”

“What do you mean?”

“If anything happens to me—”

“Don’t be a dick, Cam. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“Nah… You don’t know what’s round the corner, man. One day you could be all happy and shit, and the next lying on a hospital bed while your family says goodbye.”

“That’s some deep shit.”

“Fuck off. I’m just sayin’, alright? Roxy means the world to me, you know that. So if anything happens to me, ever, make sure you look after her little ass. She’d be lost without me.”

“Alright.”

“Promise me, man. Promise me you’ll be there for her. You’re the one guy I trust her with.”

“I promise. I’ll always look out for her and protect her little ass.”

We were fourteen and it was like we both knew. Even then. Like he knew he wouldn’t be around for her. Like I knew I’d eventually fall in love with her. And what a tidy fucking package it looks, eh?

He dies. I come riding in to save the day. She cries on my shoulder. We fall in love.

Maybe if it was a movie. Maybe even a book. But this shit is real and it’s never gonna fit in a pretty little box. I was six months too late to save the day, she kicked my ass before she cried on my shoulder, and we either argue or make out. If only it was as easy as it looks to anyone outside.

“Right,” Iz shakes her hair out. “I’m going to the café. Myra mentioned something about a job.”

“You have a job,” I say dumbly.

“In Miami, moron. Funnily enough, this is Oregon.”

“Alright. I get it.”

“See you later!” She opens the door but pauses before she walks through it, flicking a sassy glance over her shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

“Free reign then,” Roxy mutters at the slam of the door.

I laugh and pat the sofa behind me. She raises an eyebrow.

“Why are you sitting on the floor?”

“Scamp kept dropping his ball on the floor instead of my lap. I couldn’t be bothered to bend down every time so I’m on the floor.” I grab the blue ball and nod to the sleeping terrier in the corner. “Stupid animal.”

“Hey. He’s adorable. Until he humps my leg.” She sits behind me. I lean my head back to look at her.

“You know dogs take after their owners, right?”

“Yeah, I can see it. Your dad is kinda cute.”

I laugh and grab her legs. They hook over my arms and she bends forward, her hair tickling the bare skin on my shoulders.

“Your hair tickles.”

“Put a shirt on then,” she fires back with a grin.

“You don’t really mean that.” I tickle her legs. She says nothing. “Roxy.” She grins wider. “Do you?”

“No,” she finally gives in. “It would solve the problem though.”

“Who said there was a problem? I’d like your hair to tickle me in all kinds of places.”

“Kyle!” She slaps my chest and I laugh. I love winding her up.

“What?”

“Pig.”

“Eh, it’s better than jerk.”

Her legs tighten. “Do we have to go there again?”

I wish we didn’t. “As much as I hate talking about the pricks you’ve been spending nights with, yes.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I haven’t spent the night with anyone except your sister since you came home.”

I turn to face her. I know my face is like stone – my jaw is tight. “I should fucking hope not. But it’s not the only problem,” my voice softens at the end.

She draws in a sharp breath and her eyes shoot daggers at me. “You’ve been speaking to my parents.”

I’m not saying anything. She knows it’s true. No point confirming or denying it.

“I can’t believe this.” She pulls her legs up and moves to the other side of the sectional.

“I spoke to them because I wanted to know.”

“Then talk to me instead!”

“I’ve tried. Every time you tell me to fuck off because you don’t care. Well here’s some news for you, Rox, I care!”

She shakes her head. “Because you always want to talk about Cam. I’ve done that, okay? I’ve done what you wanted when you did. The memories, the movie night… I can’t take any more than that.”

“Fine. No talking about Cam. Will you talk now?”

Nothing. She says nothing. I climb up on the sofa next to her and grab her hands.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she says weakly.

“Besides the drinking and drugs.”

“I hardly use drugs.”

“Hardly isn’t good enough. It should be fucking never, Rox. Never.”

She takes her hands from mine and runs them through her hair. “There’s no way to talk about this without bringing him up, is there?”

“Looks like you have to pull on some big girl panties and get the hell on with it, then.”

“I’m not—”

“Seven months,” I interrupt her. “Seven months and you still can’t talk about it? I’m not expert on grief but you’re taking the piss. You don’t want to talk about him. There’s a damn big difference between can’t and won’t.”

“I was there the moment he died. Of course I won’t talk about it. I don’t want to remember that moment.”

“If anyone had to be there it should have been you. You were the love of his life. In his eyes no one even came close to his baby sister. But you’re not the Roxy he loved.” Her heart is breaking in her eyes and I hate I’m the person doing this to her. But she has to listen. I need to talk her down from her games. I’m probably going about it all wrong, but it’s hard to substitute what I want to say with what’s right to say. “The Roxy he loved never would have done everything you have since he died. She would have been there with her parents, getting through it together.”

“The Roxy he loved died when he did.”

“Bullshit. She’s still in there. I see her when you’re with me. When it’s just us, she’s there. Now this is the new Roxy – the person you think you want to be. She lives for nothing but all the shit you’re destroying yourself with.”

She stands. “Destroying myself?”

I look up at her. “You are, aren’t you? How many nights can’t you remember? How many names of guys do you know? How much can you drink in one go?”

“That’s nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah it is. It’s everything to do with me.”

“You’re not my brother!”

My eyes flick to her lips and back to her eyes. “Obviously I’m nothing close to your brother.”

Her eyes harden. “And it makes sense.” She turns and walks from the room.

“Wait. What makes sense?” I jump up from the sofa and go after her. “Roxy!”

She stops at the door, her head down, her fingers holding tightly to the handle. “Everything since you’ve been back. Taking me from the parties, taking me to the gorge, holding me when I cried… kissing me… I get it.”

“I’m glad you get it. I don’t.”

The door opens forcefully. “Everything was to stop me destroying myself, wasn’t it? It was for my parents and for the promise you made Cam.”

I stare at her in disbelief in as she walks to her car. “Not true. Not one damn bit, Roxy.”

She opens her car door and looks at me. “We both know it’s true.” She gets in the car and starts the engine.

“Roxy!” I step outside when she pulls away. “Roxy!”

Her car disappears and Scamp yaps inside. I shut the door and lean against it.

How can she really think that? How can she think everything was for everyone else?

And I get it. I get what she thinks.

I spoke to her parents. I made a promise to her brother to always look out for her. Now I am, and she doesn’t think I actually care about her the way I do. She thinks the week since she demanded I kiss her has all been a bunch of crap.

And when she looked at me just then, before she got in the car. When she looked at me her eyes weren’t shining in anger. They were shining because she was crying. The last week has been as real to her as it has to me.

I’m shoved away as the door opens.

“Okay so Roxy just flew out of here like her ass was on fire and you’re standing with a face like a smacked one. What the hell happened in the twenty minutes I’ve been gone?” Iz kicks a toy toward the dog and stares at me.

Fuck.

I rub my hands down my face and look at my sister. Concern is glaring from her eyes.

“I fucked up, Iz. I fucked up royally.”