Chapter 16: Hailey

One month later

The offices at Daybreak Solutions had become like a second home to me. I spent most of my mornings there before going back to my office to take care of my filing and reports. Sometimes, I spent the whole day at Daybreak, depending on what Zach needed from me.

On Monday morning, Ken asked me to step into his office the moment I arrived. I’d been on my way to see Zach and go over a few minor details with him.

“I won’t keep you long,” Ken said, stepping aside so I could enter. I sat down in the leather armchair that faced his desk.

Ken’s office was always immaculate, with nothing in it that he didn’t need besides his wife’s photos. There weren’t even photos of Zach other than the one where he was with Nora. The books on his shelf were all business related, the carpet always looked like it had just been installed, the heavy mahogany perpetually shone like it had just been polished, and there was never more than one page or file on the desk. The man was the epitome of organized and he liked to run his company that way. It was no wonder he had such high standards for Zach as well, despite Nora Nettles’ legacy. I knew a perfectionist when I saw one.

In fact, Ken Nettles’ office looked the way I felt – everything in its place, everything the way it should be, but no space for emotion.

Maybe Ken understood the importance of emotional separation when it came down to business. I had discovered it after Zach and I had our last argument. The only way I could do my job when my emotions were so intense that they threatened to rip me apart, was not to have them at all. Zach and Ken weren’t on very good terms – it’s always hard for a son not the have the support of his father. It’s hard for a father to be continuously grieving. I understood it, though. A part of me could relate to Ken. And a part of me went out to Zach.

Ken walked to his desk and sat down. He wore a light gray suit, the blazer fitting his broad shoulders perfectly. I imagined he looked almost exactly like Zach when he was young.

“I wanted to talk to you about your performance and Zach’s progress.”

I swallowed. My stomach turned. I was nauseous. I’d already been lightly nauseous when I’d arrived and my nerves weren’t helping. Was I in trouble? Zach and I had been working hard over the last month.

Ken smiled at me, a grandfatherly smile that was very different from his usual business façade. “Don’t look so worried. It’s a good report.” I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “I called you in to commend you for your hard work. I noticed a change immediately, but your work has stayed up to standard all the way through.”

“Oh, it’s been a pleasure working here,” I said. Well, maybe not exactly a pleasure lately, but the first few weeks had been. “I’m pleased that you’re happy.”

Ken nodded. “Very happy,” he said.

I swallowed the nausea down. No reason to freak out, I told myself.

“In fact, I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to extend your contract. I would like to hold onto you for another couple of months.”

I blinked at Ken. This contract had been my big break, the one thing I’d been hoping for. Working with the Nettles had given me the street cred I’d needed to be a fully-fledged PR agent and it looked great on my résumé. With Mr. Nettles wanting to extend, it just made it that much better.

“As a little motivator and to thank you for what you’ve done so far, I want to match what you’re earning at Brand Marketing. As a bonus.”

That was a lot of money. It could go a long way – I had started taking over payments from my father on my apartment, but this could be the break I needed.

“Of course, that means you’ll be stuck with Zach for a while longer,” Ken said and grinned at me. My stomach turned again. The way he said it sounded like he meant something more. I studied his face. His smile and his laughing eyes suggested he was just joking.

Good. What happened between Zach and I had been a while back, but I still felt like it was something that could come back to bite me in the ass. I missed him like crazy, and hadn’t stopped thinking about our last moments together. After that day in the cafeteria, everything changed. It was like we went back to day one. Only this time around, he made things even harder.

Ken was right, though. Working here for that much longer meant that I would continue to see Zach. It was hard with the way things were now and extending my stay would only make it harder.

What was the alternative? The contract ended, I walked away from Zach, and never saw him again? I had pushed for our relationship to stay strictly professional, even when he’d wanted to take it further than Aspen. I had been the realistic one, looking at the bigger picture even when he’d refused to see it. Still, seeing him every day was better than not seeing him at all, even if it was only for work. It was a privilege to have insight into someone’s life, to know a side of them that no one else knew.

I didn’t want to lose that, even if what I got in return was unsatisfying… even though it would never be enough.

“I would love to extend my contract with you,” I said with a smile.

Ken smiled back at me.

“I’m so glad to hear that. I’ll arrange the contract with your manager and we’ll set up another signing.”

I nodded. Ken leaned back in his chair and swiveled his head toward the window, looking out at his spectacular view. Up there, you couldn’t help but feel like the world was at your feet.

“I have to admit, I’m impressed that you’re handling Zach with such a steady hand.”

I frowned.

“A steady hand?” Why did his father treat him like a child? He was the most masculine man I knew, and he was pulling his weight at the company and then some. Maybe the problem wasn’t with Zach, but with Ken.

Ken turned his watery green eyes on me.

“Oh, I’m fully aware how difficult it is to work with him. I can’t imagine how much harder it must be when you’re a woman. His advances are apparently very hard to resist.” He sighed again. “A lot of people have commented on it.” His face cleared up when he looked at me. “At least, until you arrived.”

A pang of guilt shot through my chest, but I shoved it away. I may have buckled and given in to Zach, but since then I had put my foot down. I wasn’t falling for his charm anymore. The fact that he turned off his charm with me now was beside the point.

I got up and thanked Ken for the opportunity to further my career. He nodded and smiled at me.

“You know what?” he said when I shook his hand. “You’ve worked so hard, you can take the day off from your duties here. If you can convince your boss as well I would suggest you go home and put your feet up. You deserve it.”

I smiled and thanked Ken again. Giving me the day off meant that I wouldn’t be working with Zach. I didn’t know how Zach would feel about that; probably relieved. He had to be over me by now. If I knew anything about Zach, it was that his rebound rate was phenomenal. It had to be since he never fully committed. If his work was any indication, he didn’t completely commit to anything. I always thought it was a coward’s way out, but I was starting to think Zach was better off for it. At least, he wouldn’t have to struggle with the remnants of past emotions, of things he’d dedicated himself to that didn’t work out.

I left Ken’s office. I looked at Zach’s door next to his father’s. For a moment, I considered telling him that I would take the day off, that I would see him tomorrow. I raised my hand to knock on his door, but decided against it and dropped my hand by my side again.

He wouldn’t mind, anyway. It would be a nice break for him to not have his ‘glorified babysitter’ staring over his shoulder all the time.

I turned on my heel and walked toward the elevator.

The past month had been exactly what I told Zach it should be. We went right back to the weeks before Aspen, to the place where we hadn’t known anything about each other, when we didn’t know who we were as people.

Except, it did matter. I couldn’t reverse knowing what I did about him. I couldn’t undo finding out who he was under his cool façade.

Now, when Zach was professional and cold with me, it stung a little. Every time. It was so easy for him to switch off his feelings. I knew the warmth he could show, so the cold was a slap on the face. I’d seen the way he could enjoy things when there was so little appreciation for the world anymore, so his monochrome attitude was painful.

But, I asked for this. I needed this from him. He was all business now, and that was per my request. It was good, I told myself. I hadn’t forgotten my conversation with Jess. I stopped the relationship for the sake of my own career and for the sake of Zach’s company. I had been a responsible adult.

And my career was taking off because of it. I was going places with this. My studies, my move to Denver away from my family, it was all paying off. I was happy with the way my career was progressing.

Yes, I was sad that I lost Zach, but that was the way it had to be. Moping around wasn’t going to help anyone, least of all me. Zach and Ken ran their Company by looking back at the past as well as moving forward.

I wouldn’t do that. I was determined to only move forward.

When I got back to the office, Otto was waiting for me at my desk.

“Is everything alright?” I asked.

“More than alright,” Otto said. “I got a call from Ken Nettles about your contract.”

Wow. Mr. Nettles didn’t waste time. Otto was extremely pleased with me. I glanced at Jessica who had just arrived and stood behind Otto. She heard his words and grinned at me.

Told you, she mouthed over his shoulder. And she had. She’d told me that I could do it and I proved her right. I was smiling and nodding and doing all the right things to look as happy as was appropriate for the occasion. I felt sick, though. I wanted to go home and sleep. I was drained and nauseous.

“You can take the rest of the day off,” Otto said, repeating Ken’s words almost exactly. “You deserve it.”

I smiled and thanked him. When he walked away Jess hugged me.

“I’m so proud of you!” she cried out. “We have to celebrate. Tonight. I’ll tell Brian and we can go out. When was the last time you had a night out?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t stomach the idea of a celebration.

“Thanks, Jess. But I’m not going out tonight. I feel rotten.”

“Oh no. Are you okay?” Jess asked.

I nodded. “I think it’s just something I ate. I’m going to go home and sleep it off so it doesn’t turn into something bigger, okay?”

Jess nodded and hugged me again. “Get better. We’ll hold off on the celebrations until the weekend when you’re ready for it.”

I flashed her a small smile and left.

I was glad I’d gotten out of it. I was glad I’d gotten the day off. I wasn’t in the mood for anything – in fact, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was exhausted.

At home, I kicked off my heels, peeled off my clothes and pulled on an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts. I drew the curtains so that my room was drowned in heavy dusk and crawled into bed. Whatever was wrong with me, I just needed some sleep. It was probably a bug.

When I woke up again it felt like it was hours later. I checked my phone on the nightstand. It was almost six.

I felt much better after sleeping, but remnants of the nausea were still there.

I closed my eyes and let out a soft sigh, thinking about what I always did when I was in the bed alone – Zach. My body ached as memories rushed by my closed eyes.

The sound of his voice as he forced himself deep inside of me, the smell of his skin.

I groaned and sat up. “Fuck. I hate this so much.”

I forced myself out of bed, found socks in my sock drawer, and padded to the kitchen. I hadn’t eaten this morning because of my nausea. I was starving now. I removed a microwave meal from the freezer and nuked it. When it was ready, I sat down in front of the television. I flicked through the channels, eating rice that wasn’t fluffy anymore and chicken that tasted bland and dry.

Zach’s face caught my attention and I stayed on that channel. It was a commercial for Daybreak, advertising their services. My stomach turned again. The food in my mouth turned to sand and I put the meal down on the coffee table. I felt sick to my stomach.

The advertisement ended and I changed the channel again. Before I could settle on something, the food I’d already eaten staged a revolt. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up everything in my stomach.

I heaved and retched over the porcelain bowl, hugging the toilet for a good ten minutes. Toward the end, all I could do was dry heave. There was nothing left in my stomach.

When I was sure it was finally over, I got up. I blew my nose, wiped my eyes, and flushed the toilet. I drank some cold water, rinsing my mouth, and splashed more water on my face.

God, I felt sick. The nausea wasn’t gone despite having thrown up. Maybe it was one of those twenty-four hour bugs. I walked to the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water and walked back to bed. Fluids and bedrest.

Hopefully that would do the trick.