Julien
I heard their voices in the background, Lawrence and Pieter going over plans for the next quarter, patients and procedures scheduled, financial budgets, this, that and the other, droning on mercilessly. I stared at the report in front of me, not really seeing what it contained. My mind wasn’t here, I wasn’t present in this meeting at all.
Later that evening, as I sat in my office, staring blankly at my paperwork, my thoughts were drawn to Ellie once again. Fuck, they were with her all day, apart from when I was operating. I hated to leave her but my schedule was fucking crazy and I had no choice but to return here. Worried about her, she hadn’t answered my calls yesterday, when I tried to reach her in-between my operations and with no messages either, I was feeling frustrated with the lack of contact. Either that or my phone was broken. I stared at my cell, willing her to call. It was now after midnight back in London - surely she would be home now. I was contemplating calling her, but a quick knock on my door brought my out of my thoughts. I placed my phone and pen down.
“Come in.”
Penny walked into my office, a small smile on her lips.
“Just checking in, doc. Any more news from Ellie?”
I blew out a breath and ran my hand through my hair. “Nothing, Penny. I was just thinking about calling her.”
Penny nodded sympathetically. “Is her father going to be okay? I know how close they are to each other.”
“Yes, he will be fine, Penny. Just obviously needs to take his recovery slowly but I can’t see any reason why he won’t be going home within the next couple of days.”
“That’s great, Julien. Must have been such a scare for Ellie. Poor thing. She must be all over the place.”
“Yeah…she was in pieces when she got the news, but seems to have pulled herself together now. James will be in good hands with his daughter caring for him.”
Penny moved forward, slipping into the chair.
“And what happens to you guys?”
The million dollar question.
“Sorry, Julien, I didn’t mean to overstep the mark.”
“It’s fine. We just have to work some things out…I love her, Penny.”
Penny’s eyes shined as she looked at me, grinning. “And she loves you too, Julien. Give her time… this is such a huge shock for her. For everyone, I’m sure.”
I nodded in agreement as she stood up, glancing at my paperwork.
“Oh, and Julien?”
I looked at her expectantly.
“You may want to check that date on the paperwork there…you’re a day behind.”
Shit. So I was.
“Look after yourself too, okay? If there’s anything you need, just shout.”
I made a mental note to give her a raise - she was an excellent nurse. “Thanks, Penny. I’ll keep you updated on Ellie.”
“That’d be great. Okay, better get back to it.”
Penny left my office and I sat there with my head in my hands. I hated the feeling of not being invested, but at the same time, I couldn’t help questioning the point of the job - of being here in LA - when she was in London.
I didn’t want to be here anymore.
Sure, I’d been questioning my work for some time now, but once the realisation dawned on me, a huge sense of relief overpowered me. I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I rolled the words around on my tongue, testing to see what feelings my epiphany invoked. This place had been my whole life, for my entire life, since my father opened it with Lawrence. What would become of his legacy if I left? Could I really leave all this behind?
I ran my hands over my face, the unshaven stubble lightly tickling my palm.
Suddenly, it felt like a veil was being lifted from my vision, as a clear solution formed in my mind. My father made the world more beautiful in his own way - maybe this wasn’t my way, anymore.
Screwing up the incorrect paperwork, I tossed it in the waste basket and grabbed my jacket. I had to get out of here, needed to think this through more carefully - this was a potentially huge turning point in my life.
I drove fast, as I headed home, the speed thrilling, allowing all my other thoughts and voices in my head to be blocked - for now. Just me, the road and my pedals.
Arriving home, I cut the engine and walked up to my front door, surprised to see the lone figure waiting outside. I stopped short.
“Pieter, what are you doing here?”
“I figured you had a lot on your mind. I swung by your office but you had already left.”
I smirked, opening the door as he followed me in. “How’d you get here so fast?”
“The bike. I can’t stand the traffic in LA to bother with a car.”
I knew he rode a motorcycle, but hadn’t seen it before. One of my passions that I hadn’t indulged in. Somehow the doctor in me resisted the temptation to ride. I felt a sting of envy, as I heard the pride in his voice.
“Is it parked outside?”
“Just ‘round the side - you wanna see?” He grinned, seeing my obvious excitement.
“Let’s go.”
We walked back outside and round to the side of the house, where Pieter proudly stood next to his motorcycle.
Despite myself, I was impressed. It was a beautifully built machine, powerful, slick curves and he clearly took good care of it.
I whistled. “Figures. That’s an Ecosse Titanium, right?”
Pieter raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You know your bikes.”
I scowled slightly. “Just because I don’t ride, doesn’t mean I don’t know my shit.”
“Fair enough. This here’s Beauty. She rides like a dream.”
We both laughed and I took my time examining her, feeling a serious case of wanting to burn a hole in wallet, like right now.
“Riding them, or working on them, you can connect with your soul on a bike. Nothing beats the wind in your hair and an open road before you.”
I nodded, appreciating the power and freedom represented in the machine before me.
We walked back to the house and I tossed him a beer as we took a seat outside in the evening air, enjoying the companionable silence and the view.
“So, how’s it going?” Pieter broke the silence after a few minutes, giving me a sideways glance.
“Pretty shit.” I sipped my beer, wondering how honest I could be with him. Sure we were friends but he was also my business partner.
“You wanna talk about it?”
I shrugged my shoulders starting straight ahead.
“You said you love her.”
I glanced up at him. “I do love her.”
“So what the fuck are you still doing here?”
“What?”
Pieter smiled, a knowing look in his eyes. He took his damn time answering.
“I can tell your heart’s not in it Julien. Maybe you didn’t recognise it, but I can see you’re not feeling it anymore. Especially now that Ellie’s gone.”
I sipped my beer. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. Not to anyone else. But I’ve grown to know you, I could see how happy you’ve been with Ellie…but somehow, you’ve been detaching yourself from the clinic.”
“So what do I do?” I sighed. “This is all I’ve ever known.”
“It’s a big world out there, hot shot. You can start anywhere, doing anything.” He spoke softy. “Trust me. I know.”
There was clearly a lot more to Pieter. He didn’t reveal a lot of his past, clearly a very private man.
“I know a few investors who would happily buy you out. Of course, if that’s what you’d consider.”
“Are you serious?”
“Without a doubt. Go to Ellie, Julien. Your heart and mind is with her.”
I thought about his proposition. Surely it couldn’t be that easy, could it? But then again, I guess I’d been blessed in that way. My whole life had been easy up until this stage. Now it was time to tackle the next part. The hard part - getting to and through to, Ellie.
“I admit…I am - have been, somewhat…distracted for a while. Maybe I just need a change of scene.”
“Just say the word, man, and I’ll get things moving.”
I nodded, with a new determination to start a new chapter in my life.
I blew out a breath. This was huge, the biggest way I’d ever stepped out of my comfort zone.
“I’ll do it. Speak to your colleagues.”
Pieter clinked his bottle to mine. “I’m sure this is a tough decision for you, dude, but seriously, if you’re not one hundred percent present then it’s no good for anyone,” he grinned, shoving my shoulder. “Besides, you’re a hustler, man, you’ll find something new. Probably better.”
I smirked. Yeah, he was right. I had enough connections in the medical field to do something different. I was at the top of my industry - seeking work would never become an issue for me. Hell, with the amount of money I had, I’d never have to work another day in my life, if I so chose to.
“Maybe, if Ellie will have me, we can go bum on a beach or something…like Southeast Asia, take some time out.”
Pieter looked at me sharply. “What do you mean, if she’ll have you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you anything but supremely confident in seeking what you desire, Julien. Why the sudden change in attitude?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Part of me thinks I’m losing her. Just this crazy feeling I have.”
“All the more reason to show her, then, how much you care about her.” He glanced at his watch. “Sorry man, thanks for the beer, but I’ve gotta shoot - very early start tomorrow.”
We stood, shaking hands. He had become a good friend.
“Don’t run yourself into the ground, Pieter. You’re a workaholic.”
“Says the man who used to practically work twenty-two hours a day?” He raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Yeah…you got me.”
I walked him out and watched as he started up the engine to the Ecosse. This piece would definitely be going on my new freedom list.
I had to shout over the deep rumble of the engine. “Thanks for stopping by, man, I really appreciate the advice and help.”
He strapped his helmet together. “No worries. Go get your new life.” And then he flicked the stand, pulled back on the throttle and roared off into the night.
Ellie
“Are you comfortable, dad? I’m not pushing too fast, am I?” A few days later, my father was discharged and I was wheeling him out of the ward, ready to go home together.
“Stop fussing, Ellie. I’m fine.” He raised his hand over his shoulder to squeeze mine reassuringly. I was used to transporting patients and it was second nature, but somehow, having my father’s health in my hands was completely different. I was so nervous.
We stopped by the nurse’s station on our way out.
“Ah, James, good to see you going home. You take care of yourself.” Jackie looked up from her desk, grinning at the sight of us.
“I will, Jackie. Especially now I have my daughter back.” He looked up to give me a loving smile. “Thank you very much for looking after me so well - and please pass on my thanks to the other nurses too.” Giving me a slight nod, I gave him the large bouquet of flowers he requested and the box of chocolates, which he presented to Jackie.
“Oh, James. Thank you! You didn’t have to do this.” Jackie was smiling as she quickly sniffed the flowers. “And Ellie - thank you to you too for making our job so easy. It was a pleasure having you assist us…in fact, do call me if you want to get back to work.”
“Thank you, Jackie, I’ll definitely bear that in mind. Right, the taxi is waiting downstairs…I guess we’d better go.” I looked at my dad. “Ready?”
“Let’s go.”
“The man has spoken! Thank you again, Jackie. All the best.” I gave her a quick hug and then we made our way over to the lift.
“I can walk you know, Ellie,” he muttered.
“I know you can, dad, but you heard your doctor. You have to take it easy for a while.”
“Fine, fine.” He grumbled. Dad had tried to be extremely brave about his heart attack but I knew from talking with Jackie that it had come as a huge shock to him. It would take him a while until he was fully back to health again. And I was here to make sure his recovery was as smooth as possible.
We got home a little while later and after settling him on the sofa with a blanket, I went into our small kitchen to fill the kettle for some tea. One of the perks for being back home - I had missed a good cup of English tea, although my palette hadn’t protested with Julien’s super-amazing-all-dancing coffee machine.
Julien. I absentmindedly fingered the delicate gold necklace which I hadn’t taken off since he gave it to me a week ago, the morning he was flying back to LA. My mind drifted back to that day. I was getting dressed in the hotel room preparing for my visit to the hospital, all my thoughts with dad. Suddenly I felt his hand take mine and lead me to the bed. I looked into his eyes questioningly, painfully aware that this was the last time I would be seeing him in a while. He held a black velvet box in his hand and sat next to me.
“Ellie, I know this is not the best time, but I had bought this for you a few days ago. I was planning on giving it you a couple of nights ago…but we kinda got carried away.” He smiled and I blushed lightly.
Snapping open the box, I gasped at the shimmering heart shaped diamond and simple gold necklace.
“Oh my God, Julien, it’s beautiful!”
He carefully took it out of the box, the diamond immediately catching the light and reflecting in all its glorious beauty.
“I had it made for you.” He took my hand, looking at my intently. “This is a symbol for how I feel about you, Ellie. You’re my light…don’t ever forget that. You’ve brought clarity into my world.” He kissed me softly. “I love you.”
Now one week had gone past since we last saw each other. It felt like a lifetime. My heart ached when I thought of him, wondering how he was, what he was doing. Each time, my mind won the internal battle, guilt winning that I was selfish enough to worry about our relationship, when my father had such a close call with death.
The kettle had boiled and I shook myself out of my thoughts as I poured the hot water. I hadn’t spoken to Julien in three days. With the time difference and taking care of my father, I had only texted him a few times and could tell from his messages that he was getting increasingly frustrated at the lack of contact. I just didn’t know what to do anymore. Sighing, I carried the hot cups of tea back through to the front room.
“Here you go dad. Can I get you anything else?”
“Thanks, darling. No, I’m fine for now. Just feeling a bit tired from the journey.”
I adjusted his blanket, making sure he was comfortable.
“So, now I’m back home, what are you going to do?”
My eyes drifted to his. “I don’t know, dad.” I took a sip of tea, slightly wincing as the hot water scaled my tongue. “But let’s not worry about it now, okay? Let’s just concentrate on getting you better.” I smiled brightly as he frowned lightly.
“Julien?”
“What about him, dad?”
“Well, have you decided how you’re going to keep seeing each other?”
I shook my head, the back of my eyes pricking with tears. “I think I’ve chased him away,” I whispered, “there’s no way it would really work out with us.”
“Why, Ellie? You seemed so happy a week ago!”
“I know dad…I was. It’s just, this is my life. This is reality. I think I just got caught up with the fairytale of living in LA…our lives are way too different.”
“Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Have you even given the man a chance to see how he feels about the situation?”
“What? Well, no, Dad. I just know that… this is for the best…we need to get back to our lives.” My damn eyes were stinging with my words.
“I think you’re making a mistake. Talk to him, okay? I’ll forever be grateful with how he handled things for me.”
“You like him, dad?”
“I’ve not had the chance to properly meet him, Ellie, but I can see how good he’s been to you.” He sipped his tea and I noticed his eyes take a faraway look. “Sometimes in this lifetime you are blessed with meeting someone so special, someone who is the other part to your heart, someone you can’t live without.” As his eyes became misty, I knew he was thinking of my mother and suddenly I found it difficult to swallow as he continued. “Just don’t throw it all away without being sure.”
I nodded, unable to speak. We sipped our tea in silence and then his eyes grew heavy. Soon after, he was fast asleep.
I silently padded out of the room and located my mobile phone on the kitchen counter, whilst shutting the door behind me. It would be late evening in LA. I’d been strong for this long, surely I could make it through a phone call? Hesitating for a brief moment, my finger hovering over his name, I took a breath and hit the call button. He answered on the second ring.
“Ellie. Baby, I’ve been so worried, why haven’t you called?”
“Hey, Julien. Sorry.” I glanced down at the tiled flooring. “Sorry. It’s been…full on.”
“I understand. How is James doing? You said he was coming home in your last message?”
“Yes, he was discharged earlier today. He’s okay, thanks…pretty weak, but I guess that’s to be expected.”
“And he’s in very good hands.”
My throat closed up on me. Here we were making small talk, when all I really wanted was the comfort of his arms, to be looked after by my strong man who would shoulder some of my responsibility, giving me the strength I needed. I took a breath, feeling overwhelmed and trying to get my emotions under control.
But failed miserably.
“Ellie, are you there?”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “I’m here,” I said softly, my voice wobbling out of control.
“Ellie, I can be there tomorrow.”
“What? No!” The thought of having him here, all clean and expensive in my dingy childhood home, had me panicked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.” I was openly crying now, crying for everything that we had and everything that I was now losing. “Please don’t come, Julien. You have your patients.” I wiped away my tears, roughly. “Besides, I better focus on getting my dad better.”
“Ellie—“
“No, Julien…I’m sorry. It’s best this way.” I wiped my eyes again, feeling like my heart was shattering as my heart pounded away. “I’ve got to go…I’ll speak to you again soon.” Pulling the phone away from my ear, I could hear his protests as I wept, swiftly ending the call. Although he tried to call back numerous times, I let it ring out, staring at his name lit up across my screen, not wanting to deal with a confrontation. Fearing I’d hear him say that words that perhaps we should take a break, that a long distance relationship was impossible, that our lives were too different. I wiped away my tears and forced myself to believe that it was better this way.
Sitting on the kitchen chair with my head in my hands, it suddenly felt like I had regressed, as if I had never made it out of this place. Everything I experienced and felt in these past few months were fast slipping away.
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
Julien
Meeting investors, shaking hands, smiling, concentrating, legal documents. The list went on. The last few days were fucking tiresome. Pieter had immediately set to work, arranging meetings with potential colleagues - seemed like buying out my half of the business was pretty popular. If I hadn’t known he was moving this fast for my benefit, I might have taken it personally that he just wanted to see the back of my ass. But I knew the opposite was true, he had become a trusted and valued friend, having my best interests at heart.
Although shocked, Lawrence had also given me his blessings, when I visited with him at his home the previous morning.
“Are you sure you want to do this, son? You’re at the peak of your game.”
I sipped my coffee before I spoke. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Lawrence. Nothing has felt so right in a long time.”
He was quiet as he watched me. Finally he spoke. “I’m very proud of you, Julien. I wish you and Ellie all the best for your future. You planning on bringing her back here?”
I shook my head, shrugging. “I have no idea, right now. I just know that she belongs to me. The rest, we’ll figure out as we go.”
“I understand.” He chuckled. “What is it with these damn women, coming into our lives and wreaking havoc?” I smiled, knew he was thinking of his late wife and the initial pains he went through with wooing her to his side. “I wish you the best of luck for tomorrow. You’re signing on the dotted line, right?”
I blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, tomorrow.” I was nervous, but it felt good. “Tomorrow’s the start of my new life.”
The next morning, following a lengthy meeting with the investors and attorneys, I finally walked out, my half of the business now belonging to another. It felt surreal. I needed a drink. Sitting at my desk, looking around my office for the last time, I had never envisioned the day would arrive when I would be leaving this place. That my life and entire career here could be wrapped up in three days. I probably wouldn’t have known any different or aspired for any better, if it hadn’t been for the beautiful English rose, who stepped into my life and irrevocably had me reconsidering my life choices.
I looked up at the quick knock on my door.
“Hey, how do you feel?”
“Come in, Pieter. Drink?”
Without waiting for his answer, I poured him a neat shot of whiskey and pushed the glass across the desk. “Cheers, buddy.”
We raised our glasses and swallowed the liquid, the burn feeling good as it slipped down my throat.
I sighed deeply, exhausted with the stress of events of the past few days.
“I feel like a man who has gone out on a limb, not really knowing what’s on the other side.”
Pieter nodded. “I get how you’re feeling. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal…once you’re on that plane ride out of here, this will soon feel like a closed chapter. Plenty more adventures to experience, my friend.”
I sat in silence, sipping my drink. “I haven’t heard from her in three days. She won’t take my calls.”
“Wait. What?”
I smirked. “Yup…I’ve just packed up my life here…and I’m not even sure she wants me anymore.”
“Fuck, man. I’m sorry to hear this. But in her defence, her life has been thrown upside down. She’s probably a total case of emotions right now.”
“Yeah, I’m convincing myself of that theory too. That’s why I’m doing this - I’m not giving up on us just like that.” I snapped my fingers, my tone fierce and protective. “We belong together. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
The next morning, I locked my front door, suitcase in hand. For my entire life, I had never lacked in confidence, my wealth and status carrying me through every little trial I faced. Now, for the first time, I was experiencing what it felt like to be unsure, to be uncertain of what my future held - with Ellie. Because without her by my side, I don’t know how I’d be able to function anymore.
Some twelve hours later, after what seemed to be an un-ending flight, I was standing outside her front door.
Ellie
“Dad! Dinner’s ready! Do you want to eat at the table or shall I bring you a tray to eat on the sofa?” I called out from the kitchen, carving the roasted chicken.
“Nah, I’ll come and sit at the table, love. Smells delicious!”
I looked up as he walked slowly into the kitchen, sniffing the delicious aromas of the traditional roast dinner.
“This looks fantastic. Can I help with anything?”
“No I’m fine. Sit.” I shoved the microwave shut with my elbow and carried the steaming bowl of vegetables to the table, giving it a quick glance to see if I had forgotten anything else. The sound of the doorbell broke my thoughts.
“I’ll get it,” he said, making to stand up from the chair.
“No,” I said, quickly, putting the glasses down. “You start serving up.”
I stepped past him with a smile and a pat on the shoulder as I made my way to the front door.
My smile dropped as I felt the blood drain from my face. I quickly shut my open jaw.
“Julien! Oh my God! What are you doing here?” For a second I thought I was dreaming but I felt the blood begin to pump once more, as my heart started racing.
Julien was on my doorstep.
It’d been almost two weeks since I last saw him, but in that short time, I’d forgotten how damned sexy he was. Maybe it was seeing him here, on my father’s doorstep, rather than with the usual wealth surrounding him. His chiselled jawline and feral grace stood out enough there but here, in the quiet street my father lived on, he looked like a Greek god who had just stepped down from heaven. All hard masculine edges and piercing blue eyes, every fantasy I’ve ever had combined into his bitable, lickable and suckable form.
“Hey, Ellie. You weren’t answering my calls.” He shrugged, his mouth lifting into a small smile.
I closed my eyes momentarily, in order to savour his accent, before realising just how crazy I must have looked.
“So you decided to just hop on a plane and visit me?” I was aware that my voice had risen by an octave at least.
“Something like that, yeah.”
I stared at him, still not quiet believing he was actually here.
“Ellie, who’s at the door?” My dad shouted from the kitchen as I heard him scrape back his chair. “Who is it? Oh!” I turned around and saw him standing behind me, a slow grin splitting his features.
“Julien, we weren’t expecting you!” They shook hands vigorously, my dad smiling happily as Julien gave him his more charming smile.
Dad turned to face me. “My apologies, Julien. Ellie seems to have forgotten her manners.” I blushed scarlet at his words. “Please do come in. We’re just about to eat dinner, do grab a plate.”
Julien followed us through the small hallway into the kitchen, as I cringed, wondering what he would be thinking about our very humble abode.
Within minutes, we were seated at the table, our plates full. My father had a grin as wide as his face as Julien made himself very comfortable in our small kitchen. He raised his eyes to me, indicating his food.
“This chicken is amazing,” he said, still chewing.
“Thanks,” I said softly. “It was my mother’s recipe.”
“My daughter tells me that you’re incredibly busy with work, Julien. This is very nice of you to break your schedule like this.”
“Yes, the clinic is always busy. Not that it’s really my business anymore.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I sold my half of the company yesterday.”
My fork clattered to my plate as Julien continued to eat like he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell.
“What?!”
He finished chewing and placed his fork down. “I’ve sold up, Ellie. Thought I’d take a break for a while.” He winked at me and picked up his water glass.
I cast a sideways glance at my dad who looked equally shocked at Julien’s news. He was here for me?
He blew out a low whistle, looking at him earnestly. “That’s huge. Are you sure that’s what you want, Julien?”
“What I want, James, is right here.” He looked at me pointedly and I felt my insides turn to mush as my skin seared with heat. “Everything else is just secondary.”
Dad nodded approvingly. “I can think of someone else who feels that way too.”
“Are we all finished?” I said interrupting, a turmoil of emotions surging through me. “I’m going to clear this table.” I stood and started to stack the plates.
“Here, let me help,” my dad said.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll help, Ellie.” Julien stood up, picking up the serving dishes. “It’s the least I can do to say thanks for the wonderful meal.”
My dad shrugged and flashed me a knowing look. I swallowed and nodded slightly.
“I’ll go off to the front room then, leave you two alone. I’m sure you have lots to talk about.”
“Okay, dad. Shout if you need anything.”
“James, would it be okay if Ellie and I went out for a few hours?”
He stopped in his tracks and looked at both of us. “Of course it is, Julien.” He chuckled. “I was wondering when you’d pluck up the courage to ask!”
“Dad, are you sure, you’ll be okay?”
He waved his hand at me dismissively. “Ellie, I’m just going to watch television for a bit then I’m off to bed. I’ll be perfectly fine. Come back in the morning if you wish.” He gave me a wink and wondered off in the direction of the front room.
Julien started scraping the leftover scraps into the rubbish bin and for some reason it made me smile, looking like he belonged here. He’d done it before, but with his full-time maid, I doubted it was anytime recently.
“Are you okay, Ellie?” He set the plates in the sink and turned on the tap. He watched me for a moment and I tried to arrange my face into a neutral expression. There was so much I wanted to say, but overwhelmed, right now, I just was grateful for the small talk.
I closed the fridge. “I’m a little in shock, Julien.”
“We’ll talk as soon as we’re out of here. I’ve booked a hotel close by.”
I nodded. “You going to wash those dishes?”
Julien found a towel and threw it over my face. “Only if you dry.”
I pulled it off and scowled, but his cheeky smile broke it and I found myself smiling back. I swatted him with the towel and he grabbed it, pulling me towards him.
For a moment we didn’t move and our eyes locked. All the tangle of emotions I was feeling suddenly felt a million miles away. It was just us.
The way he was looking at me, pure desire in his eyes, brought back a rush of memories of our active sex life, all of the naughty things he did to me, how he’d made me feel like I’d never used my body the right way before him. And with all the tension building up between us since he arrived, I couldn’t help thinking that all I wanted to do was to screw him senseless, feel the connection between us once again, that I so missed.
He dropped the towel and grabbed my shoulders, his hands soapy and wet. Before I could say anything, he put his lips to mine and worked his magic, kissing me deep and intently, with a fervour I’d desired for the past few weeks. I felt sparks across my abdomen and my sex clenched, my underwear already getting soaked with need.
“My dad is in the next room,” I whispered, pulling back.
“Your dad’s awesome,” he said pecking me once again, before releasing me and turning back towards the dishes, resuming his scrubbing.
I needed fresh air. Suddenly it felt incredibly hot in my little kitchen. All I could think about was his hands on me, the feeling of his tongue licking me in all the right places.
“Let’s get these dishes done and we can get out of here,” I said, trying to push my desire out of the way.
He handed me a dish to dry and I bent over to retrieve the towel, catching his eyes sliding away from my cleavage as I stood back up. I smirked back at him.
We somehow managed to finish clearing up in record time and after checking on my dad, we said our goodbyes and headed outside. The cool autumnal air snapped at my light jacket and I shivered. Julien immediately placed his arm around me, and I leaned into his warm, hard body.
We found a taxi and he gave instructions to his hotel, which as he said was only a short ten minute ride away. Silent and lost in our own thoughts, we sat together, his arms around me, in the back of the taxi. There was too much at stake to make any more small talk and I knew he felt the same.
Entering the hotel and into the lift, he held me close, and I noted he hadn’t let go for a moment since we had left my home.
Finally outside his door, I looked into his eyes, my heart pounding. The unspoken words and electricity between us was at an all-time high level of tension - right now, I just wanted the physical part. To lose myself in the man I loved…who I thought I’d lost.
With one fell swoop, he lifted me into his arms and opening the door, he carried me as if I was light as a feather, setting me gently on the bed.
Kneeling in front of me, he pulled off my shoes, kissing the arches of my feet. “It’ll be hard to keep my head when we’re together, Ellie. I just need you so much.” His voice was low as he muttered his words. “Will you tell me if I hurt you?”
The insecurity in his eyes, pulled at my heart. I nodded, speaking softly. “I will.”
His eyes pooled with emotion and he looked away, but I cupped his cheek, bringing his gaze back to me. “What’s the matter?”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my knee before he answered.
“Nothing…this just feels huge. With everything that’s happened.” He dipped his chin once and dragged his vulnerable eyes back to me.
Tears burned at the back of my eyes as he rested his cheek on my lap. Some instinct inside, told me that Julien never admitted to fear, yet here he was, baring his heart and soul. Protectiveness and love flooded me.
Suddenly, more than anything, I wanted to feel his skin again mine, more than I’d ever wanted anything. Desire unfurled within me, spreading waves of aching want.
Sensing the change in me, Julien’s eyes darkened and quickly tore away at my clothes as I frantically pulled on his. Within minutes, we were standing and hugging his waist, I revelled in the feel of his hard chest against mine. I’d never given much thought to love before I met Julien, but standing here right now, I knew I’d never felt anything so strongly in all my life. Julien pulled something from me that I never knew existed. I loved him. Loved how gentle that he was with me. Loved how he let his guard down. Loved that he had given up his practice, so that he could be here with me.
My heart pounding, with a steadying breath, I pulled down my G-string. Julien turned and sat on the bed, his hungry gaze raking down my body, which in turn sent a shiver of anticipation up my spine.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His voice rang with honesty.
Running my hands through the side of his hair, I stepped closer to him, settling in between his legs. “Are you going to kiss me, or what?”
His response was instantaneous. Hand on my neck, thumb on my cheek, he leaned up and found my lips. My insides caught fire and a helpless moan worked up my throat.
His jaw worked as he brushed his tongue against mine and I smiled into the kiss. I would never tire of this connection with him. Right on the verge of reading his thoughts, being able to finish his sentences, being on the exact same page with another living being - Julien had breathed new life into me.
Desperate to be closer, to feel the heat pulsing from his skin, I straddled his lap, his erection pressed between my slowly soaking folds.
Julien shuddered slightly and he pulled me harder against him, rolling his hips as he did. Trailing his lips down to my jaw and neck, he rocked against me again, hitting me where I was most sensitive.
“Julien?”
A soft growl was his only answer.
“I want you inside me. Now.”
Spinning me around and settling my back against the mattress, he quickly grabbed his wallet from his discarded trousers. Pulling on a condom in record time, he reached between my legs and eased his finger inside me, drawing another moan as his hand pressed softly against my clit.
I bowed back against the sheets as he added a second finger and slid into me again, slower this time.
His breath hitched. “So wet,” he murmured, pulling out of me.
The head of his cock brushed against me, turning my insides into lava. Oh, he felt so good right there, barely in me. Rocking his hips, he pushed inside me, kissing me slowly, tasting, exploring my mouth as he eased out and pushed deeper this time.
His back flexed against my fingernails as he bucked into me slowly, time and time again, deeper and deeper until he brushed my clit.
“Julien…oh, god…you feel so good inside me.”
He brushed his tongue against mine, his muscles contracting each time he was buried deeply within me, as if his control was slipping.
“Ellie,” he rasped out, pumping into me faster. “God, I can’t stop anymore, I can’t-“
“Don’t stop…I don’t want you to. Ah!” I closed my eyes against the pressure building inside of me. The pleasure was so intense with each stroke, I couldn’t form thoughts anymore. Couldn’t do anything other than absorb each sensual blow.
Julien stroked into me faster and faster, holding me tightly against him, a growl ripping from his throat which brought me closer to the edge. Closing his eyes, tightly, he opened them again, looking at me like I was everything in the world to him.
A pulsing orgasm exploded though me, just as he yelled out my name. I met his hips, crashing together as release filled us both.
Julien slowed, breathing hard, but his eyes were on me. “Are you okay?”
Another aftershock pulsed through me and I giggled, feeling high as a kite.
“Better than okay.” Sure, I was slightly sore, but that didn’t take away from the beauty of this moment with the man I was hopelessly in love with.
Pulling out of me, he discarded the condom. Kissing the nub of my oversensitive clit, he gently crawled up on the bed beside me. Curling his body around mine, he brushed his lips onto the back of my neck.
“I missed you so much, baby.”
I unravelled myself, turning around so that his face a few inches from mine. “I love you, Julien.” And then I kissed him deeply. “What are we going to do now?”
“Maybe get some sleep. I’m kinda jet-lagged.” He smirked as I slapped his shoulder lightly.
“Seriously, baby. All I know is that I love you. So fucking much.”
I smiled at his intensity, my heart overflowing with love. I watched his lips as he continued. “I’ve not had a career break before…I don’t know, I was thinking maybe I’ll do some pro-bono work for burns victims or those that have recovered from accidents.”
I was in awe. “Julien that’s incredible. I think that sounds amazing.” I sighed. “I wish I knew what I was going to do.”
“I’ve thought about that too.” He sat up slightly, resting his face in his hand as he stroked my hair away from my face. “Of course, all this is once James has fully recovered. So, I know you love kids…I was thinking that perhaps we could look into opening up a centre for kids with cancer - like a rehab facility of some sort. Maybe we could work out the details together if you like the idea.”
“Really?” I sat up straight, a grin splitting my face. “That would be amazing, Julien!”
“I love you, baby.” He fingered my diamond necklace. “I’ve never met anyone like you….you’ve changed my world for the better. I was so scared that you were thinking of ending things.”
I ducked my head, feeling remorseful. “I’m sorry, darling. I just didn’t want to drag you away from your life, you know? I just couldn’t see how it would work. But I never stopped loving you. Not for one minute.” I kissed him softly. “And I never will.”
He pulled me back in his arms once again, covering me tenderly with the sheets.
I sighed happily as I settled against him. I was where I belonged.
No matter what the future held in store for us, as long as we were together, I knew everything would be okay. Tomorrow was the start of a new chapter in our lives together. This time, with no insecurities.
Nothing or no one would tear us apart.