Chapter Five
Reno was gone when Molly’s cooing noises drifted in from the nursery to wake Sarah the next morning. Even though it was only six, she worried about running into him in the kitchen, but he must have been up at dawn and left the house. There was no sound of anyone in the house, his bedroom door was slightly ajar, and when she checked the garage, his car was gone.
Was he running away, escaping the confines of their situation? Did he have buyer’s remorse? In any event, she felt relief, unsure if she could face him without the remnants of last night’s dream showing on her face.
Back upstairs, she lifted the little girl from her crib.
“Oh, sweetheart, you are such a love.” She nuzzled her cheek against the baby’s soft skin. The pain she’d lived with for so long shifted, fading in the warmth of the tiny child she cradled.
Molly blinked at her and gave her a drooling smile.
Sarah hugged her tightly. Already she felt a sense of possession. After she’d changed and fed Molly, then put her back in her crib, she called her mother.
“I need help,” she confessed. “I have absolutely no idea what Molly’s schedule is, and I have to shop for her, too. There seems to have been some… miscommunication about what she needs.”
And isn’t that an interesting way to put it.
“I’m kind of winging it,” she went on. “But she just had breakfast so she’ll probably sleep for a couple of hours.”
“You can figure she’ll be up by ten,” Ellen said. “I’m more than happy to help with the shopping.”
“Thank you,” Sarah breathed, relieved.
“Feed her, then come pick me up. Bring another bottle for backup, just in case. If you leave as soon as she’s fed, we should be able to get enough done before she has to go down for her afternoon nap.”
After she hung up, Sarah wandered through the house, exploring the place that was now her home. Although well designed and beautifully decorated, the atmosphere had a sterile quality with no personal objects of any kind anywhere, no hint of the child that lived within its walls or even a memory of Maggie. The house was wiped clean of her existence.
Sarah frowned, wondering if she could find a way to ask Reno about this. She had no idea yet what topic was forbidden and what wasn’t.
Back upstairs, she peeked into Reno’s room, noting the bed hadn’t been made, and chastised herself for it. Of course, she should have checked this morning. Tomorrow, she would remember to take care of it.
While Molly napped, she made her own bed, showered, dressed in slacks and a short-sleeved sweater, and fixed herself a cup of coffee. Sitting at the kitchen table, sipping from the mug, she stared through one of the big windows at the peaceful scene outside and wondered for the thousandth time if she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. A week from today, she’d be Mrs. Reno Sullivan. She would be able to ease some of the financial strain on her parents and, for once in her life, have no worries on that score herself.
And she’d have a child to love and care for, to watch grow into a young woman. Was it a fair enough trade? And could she fulfill her role for what seemed like an endless stretch of years? What about the growing attraction to Reno? Would she be able to hide her feelings indefinitely?
Her stomach cramping as tension rolled over her, she dumped the rest of her coffee and rinsed the mug. Time to put all that out of her mind. She could do this. She could. And she would.
****
They’d decided against the mall for a number of reasons, first and foremost being there didn’t seem to be a stroller or carriage anywhere that she could use for Molly. In the end, they chose a huge baby store that had everything she needed. Dipping into the cash Reno had given her, and with her mother’s guidance, she’d purchased everything she needed, including some adorable new clothes and what looked as if it were a year’s supply of diapers.
Molly sat in her carrier on a chair between Sarah and Ellen, batting at a tiny mobile Sarah had fastened to the handle while the two women treated themselves at an exquisite French bakery and coffee shop.
“I have to say, Sarah, your father and I are completely stunned by this whole thing.” Ellen Madison sipped at her hot tea, watching her over the rim of her cup.
“Yes, I’m sure you are.” No more than she was. “But sometimes things happen that seem so right you can’t say no.”
Ellen sighed. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.” She looked over at Molly. “And this child. She’s absolutely adorable, but what’s the story here? Reno’s wife has only been dead for a couple of months. Is he just looking for someone to raise his child?”
Sarah concentrated on pulling a tiny piece from her croissant. She didn’t want to look directly at her mother, afraid her face would give too much away. “Of course, he wants someone who’d be good for Molly. But that’s not the primary reason. We’re good together. We know each other well. We fit.”
She could feel her mother’s eyes on her.
“I haven’t heard you say yet that the two of you are in love with each other,” Ellen pointed out.
“Of course, we are.” Sarah concentrated harder on her pastry. “That goes without saying.”
Ellen sighed. “It’s your life, honey. I just don’t want you to make another mistake.”
“I’m fine, Mom. Honestly.” Now, she looked up, then glanced at Molly and back at her mother. “And you get a grandchild without having to wait any longer.”
At that moment, Molly gurgled, and the two women laughed.
“I guess I’ll just have to trust you know what you’re doing.” Ellen squeezed Sarah’s hand. “In any event, your father and I would like to have dinner with the two of you. We hardly know Reno.”
She means, except as someone I work for. If I were in her place, I’d have the same reservations.
“Why don’t you come to the house Saturday night, and I’ll cook? That way you can see where I’m living, too.”
“Yes, where you’re living…”
Sarah leaned across the table. “Please don’t judge me. I want to do this, and I need your support.”
“Oh, honey.” Ellen sighed. “You know you’ve got it.”
****
She was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner when she heard Reno come in through the utility room. He punched in the alarm code before it began to screech, then stopped to survey the scene, much as he had done the night before.
“I guess I wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.” He smiled. “Everything seems so…organized.”
Sarah flushed with pleasure at his words. “Having a routine is nice,” she agreed. “But you still haven’t told me what you like to eat. I want to be sure to fix foods that appeal to you.”
“I’ll eat just about anything that I can chew,” he told her. “Please, just fix whatever you want to.”
“Why don’t you go and change. Molly’s down for the evening, and dinner is just about ready.”
“All right.”
She breathed an inward sigh of relief when he reappeared in a polo shirt and jeans rather than the too-revealing sweat pants. She filled their glasses with iced tea and served their food from the stove. When everything was in place, she sat down opposite Reno. The tension between them was almost visible, certainly obvious in their posture. Was she wrong, or was it more than just the climate of the situation? Was that heat she saw in his eyes as they swept over her or just wishful thinking on her part?
Sarah shook out her napkin and placed it in her lap, took a sip of iced tea, and set down her glass. Might as well get this over with now.
“I saw my mother today,” she began.
Reno’s features tightened. “How did that go?”
“Fine, fine.” She sipped more tea. “She and my father have asked us to have dinner with them if that’s all right with you.”
He put his fork down. “Sarah, they’re your parents. They know you’re getting married. It’s reasonable they would want to get to know me better.”
A soft puff of breath whooshed from her in relief. One hurdle down. “I invited them here for dinner tomorrow night. Saturday. If we eat at eight,” she continued in a hurry, “Molly will be down for the evening. If they want to see her, I’ll take them up to the nursery. She won’t be part of the…festivities.”
A muscle jumped in Reno’s jaw line. “Fine. If that’s what you think would be best.”
She’d hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but at least, he hadn’t said no. “Thank you.” She picked up her fork, then went on in a casual tone. “I was taking inventory for tomorrow night and noticed that your liquor cabinet is empty. Would you like me to restock it?”
“No.” He bit off the word, his tone vicious. “No liquor in this house. Wine for dinner, but that’s it.”
Sarah was shocked. What was going on here? Did he have a problem with alcohol? She opened her mouth to ask him why, but at the look on his face, she changed her mind.
This is a minefield, and I’d better step very carefully.
“I apologize for not straightening your room today. I guess I was just too busy with everything else. I’ll do it tomorrow, though.”
Reno put his fork down carefully and squared his glass with his plate. “You don’t need to do anything with my bedroom. There’s no reason for you to go in there. You don’t need to clean house, anyway. Set up a regular day with the service. They can change the sheets and towels when they’re here.”
What was wrong with her going into his room? Was there some secret she wasn’t allowed to know? Sighing internally, she switched to a different topic, trying to diffuse the situation.
“All right. Thank you. I had a chance to really look at the house today. It’s beautiful. Your wife had excellent taste.” The moment the words were out, she could have bitten her tongue. Maggie was a closed subject—one of the rigid rules set down.
“My wife had nothing to do with it,” he said, the edge of bitterness back in his voice. “It was done before we were married.”
Things were getting more complicated by the minute. Sarah wondered if she would ever know the whole story or if she’d just keep falling into black holes. They finished dinner in silence, then he headed for his den. Sarah didn’t know if he expected her to stay downstairs and talk to him or just make herself scarce. She was still struggling to adjust to a Reno completely unfamiliar to her.
In twenty-four hours, she’d discovered she was living with a man who was uncomfortable in his own house, who couldn’t interact with his own daughter, and who hid painful secrets that laid traps she seemed to keep falling into.
But there was a need here so great there was no way she could turn away from it. She paused tentatively in the doorway to the den. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll go upstairs now.”
He looked up, forcing a smile, then leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry, Sarah. This is still very new for both of us. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out as we go along.”
“All right.” What else could she say?
“I’ll be leaving early in the morning again,” he told her. “If you need anything just call me at the office or on my cell.”
“Thank you.” She backed away and headed upstairs.
****
Reno stayed in the den long after Sarah went to her room, disconnected thoughts bouncing around in his brain. In just two days, things here had improved beyond his wildest expectations. For the first time in months, he felt better about life, not so absorbed in his own misery.
When he finally felt tired enough to go upstairs, the nursery door stood open as well as the door to Sarah’s room. Knowing he was making a big mistake, he walked silently down the hall to stand just beyond her door. She was turning back the covers on her bed. Backlit by the bedside lamp, the curves of her body were visible through the sheer fabric of her gown. At once, his rebellious cock hardened to almost painful rigidity.
Why couldn’t he have married someone like her to begin with? But he knew the answer to that. He’d been down that road and had no one but himself to blame. The problem was what did he do with his body that refused to obey commands anymore?
She turned, startled at seeing him. “Oh!” She grabbed for the robe at the end of the bed. “I…didn’t expect to see you.”
Nor had he expected to be standing here. But he couldn’t stop staring at her, at the body the robe couldn’t hide very well or the cloud of dark sable hair floating to her shoulders. His hands itched to reach out and run his fingers through it, but thankfully, his feet were rooted to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he finally managed. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Hugging her robe around herself, she walked to the door and put her hand on it to close it.
For a moment, she stood there. Her eyes met his, and the heat that flared between them was hotter than any fire he’d ever lit. Hell! This was a problem he didn’t need. He was no doubt the world’s biggest fool. One of them had to be sensible until the feeling went away. This whole situation was precarious enough without introducing sex into it.
“Goodnight,” he finally managed.
“Goodnight.” She closed the door firmly, clicking it shut with a definite finality.
Reno trudged back to his room, four walls that held some of the most unpleasant memories in the world. A prison of his own making. Would this torture never end?
At last, he got into bed, but he lay staring into the dark for a long time.