Chapter Seven
Needed to do some things with Tony. Be back in time for dinner. Don’t cook. I’ll bring home food. Call me on my cell if you need anything. Be sure alarm is set. R.
Sarah read the note propped up on the kitchen counter. Just before she and Reno had returned home from last night’s dinner, Nicki had given Molly a bottle. Wonder of wonders, the baby actually slept until quarter to seven this morning. Sarah walked softly into the kitchen, wondering if Reno was wandering around at that hour, only to find the note he’d left. Apparently, he’d had the same thoughts she had.
She sighed. Saturday morning, the day after the wedding and her brand new husband had made himself scarce.
In a way, she was glad. She needed the space to deal with their encounter last night and get her raging hormones under control. Not to mention the fact that another erotic dream had consumed her last night and was still vivid in her mind. She shivered just remembering images of the hot coupling of their bodies. She couldn’t seem to shut them away.
Somehow, by the time Reno came home, she had to put distance between them, find a place where they could get past this little bump in the road, be cool, reserved Sarah again and stay that way, without making him uncomfortable that they’d nearly violated their No Sex rule.
She looked around the house before going back upstairs to get the baby. The cleaning crew had been back twice, and the windows sparkled and the wood cabinets shone. Everything had a fresh, new garden smell to it. The blinds in all the rooms were open, and sunlight flooded everywhere, casting a golden angel’s kiss glow.
She had yet to venture into Reno’s room, mindful of his orders. But her room was filled with her personal knick-knacks, and she’d hung some prints on the walls. The nursery was now a zoo of stuffed animals in every conceivable color, the same animals marching across the wall in prints she’d found in the children’s store. Instead of the depressing environment she’d seen that first day, the room was lively, cheerful, and smelled of the strawberry-scented lotion she used on Molly after every bath.
“Okay, sugar,” she told the little girl, plucking her from her crib.
Molly sucked on her fist and stared at her with huge blue eyes.
Sarah smiled, hugged the child to her heart, and kissed her soft cheek. “Looks as if it’s just you and me today, kiddo. How about if, after we eat, we get out the stroller and take a look around the neighborhood?”
For a brief moment, she wondered if it would be safe taking Molly for a walk. Was Aguilar anywhere in the area? No, she was pretty sure the FBI would let them know if he’d been spotted.
But what if they don’t know?
Damn! But she couldn’t hide in the house forever. That’s what she had her gun and pepper spray for. They’d just take a walk around the block, that’s all. Get a little fresh air.
Feeding Molly was accomplished with a minimum of fuss and a lot of giggles. Once she’d washed the chubby little face and hands, she pulled out the stroller and placed Molly in the seat. She checked her gun, placed it in a small shoulder bag that had a special slot for it, and added the pepper spray and her cell phone. She wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing, strolling in a gorgeous upscale neighborhood on such a beautiful day fully armed. But she knew too well what happened to people who weren’t prepared.
“Let’s see who’s out and about today, shall we?”
Spring in Central Texas was always balmy, just on the verge of being sultry. This beautiful late spring morning was a perfect example, warm but not hot. The scent of fresh cut grass mingled with the perfume of freshly blooming flowers, swirled together on the fingers of a gentle breeze. The air had the heady feel of approaching summer.
“Guaranteed to put us in a good mood, right, sweetheart?” Sarah asked, fastening the safety straps.
They walked up one street and down another, letting the warmth of the day wash over them, the faint breeze kissing Molly’s skin. If Sarah hadn’t known better, she’d have thought the infant actually smiled. It was just after ten when they made it back to the house. She was barely inside when her cell phone rang.
“Where the hell are you?”
She was stunned at the anger in Reno’s voice. “Reno? What’s the matter?”
“Where are you?” he repeated.
“I just walked back in the house. Molly and I took a little stroll around the block.”
Was he angry because she’d gone out? Did he think she’d taken the baby and run away? What was wrong with him?
“Lindsey just called me for your cell number. She said she’d been calling the house, and there was no answer.”
Sarah looked at the answering machine on the counter and saw the light flashing.
“I’m sorry, but we weren’t gone long. And yes, I had my gun and pepper spray with me. Please. I’m not stupid.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I’m sorry I yelled,” he said at last. “I was just worried.”
“I understand, but you have to learn to trust me, okay? I can’t hide in the house with Molly, but I will always make sure we’re protected.”
“You’re right. Of course.” His voice softened.
“Listen, let me call you back. There’s a call coming in, and I’m sure it’s Lindsey. Do you know what she wants?”
“She and Nick want us to come out to the ranch tomorrow for lunch.” He paused for a moment. “And bring the child, I suppose.”
Or what? Lock her in a closet for the day?
“That sounds terrific. Let me take this call.”
“Go ahead. I’ll be home about six. I’ll pick up Chinese take-out.”
He disconnected, and Sarah pressed the icon to accept Lindsey’s call.
“I’m sorry if I created an uproar,” Lindsey said. “When I told Reno there was no answer at the house, he went ballistic.”
“It’s all this business with Aguilar,” Sarah explained. “And I should have given you my cell number the other day.”
“Maybe he thought you’d had second thoughts, run off and left him.” She laughed. “It would serve him right.”
After last night, Sarah could believe it. “No such luck. I’m still here.”
“Anyway, he may have already told you, but I wanted to invite you to the ranch tomorrow. Nick wants to barbecue ribs, and he’s got enough to feed a regiment of Marines. What do you say, about one o’clock? We’ll eat around four.”
“That sounds great. Can I bring anything?”
“Just yourselves. See you tomorrow. We’ll have fun.”
****
Across town, in his brother’s condo, Reno Sullivan stared at his cell phone, then shoved it into his pocket, feeling like a fool and an idiot.
Tony scowled at him, apparently having heard one side of the phone conversation. “Well, that went well,” he commented. “I thought you were going to bite her head off. That should endear you to her. Don’t you think you should go home? You’ve been pacing and fidgeting all morning.”
This morning, climbing out of the bed he’d grown to hate, Reno had felt suffocated even as his body experienced an unfamiliar emptiness. Unnerved by his actions the night before and fighting a new assault of thoughts and emotions, he’d pounded on Tony’s door when the sun was barely in the sky.
Now Tony pretended to read the paper, watching his brother but keeping his mouth shut while Reno alternately paced and threw himself into an easy chair.
“I had to get out of the house.”
“You just got married, and you’re spending the day with me?” Tony stared, incredulous. “Are you nuts?”
“This is going to be harder than I thought.” He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands.
“Especially if you keep running away from home,” Tony pointed out.
“Can it, will you? This morning I felt I’d choke if I didn’t get away.”
Tony quirked an eyebrow. “Is there something going on here I don’t understand?”
“I don’t know. I’m trying to make this work. Everything’s just…weird. I can’t explain it.”
“So you’re hiding here with me?” He shook his head, a grin teasing his mouth. “God, you do have a problem.”
“People tell me that a lot lately.” He leaned his head back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to yell at her. I just didn’t know where she was. I thought…she’d left.”
“With or without Molly?” Tony put the paper down. “Did you do something to piss her off?”
Reno was silent, staring out across the balcony.
Tony snapped his fingers. “You want to have sex with her, don’t you? That’s it. Ha! I knew that ball of ice where your dick is would melt sooner or later.”
“Just shut up, okay?”
“Jesus, it’s not a sin to fuck your wife. Maybe she’d even be willing.”
Reno glared at him. “I said shut up.”
“Fine. Tell me. Don’t tell me. But whatever it is, you’ll have to deal with it sooner or later.”
After a while, Tony made sandwiches, and they ate them on the balcony, Reno still brooding and Tony watchful.
“You think I’m a real jerk, don’t you?” Reno asked after a long time.
“Sometimes,” Tony said with irritation. “Listen, nobody knows more than I do what you’ve been through. But you can’t keep running away from your life.”
He let out a whoosh of air. “It doesn’t seem to do much good, does it?”
“Nope. And you married a woman most men would snap up in a hot minute. You need to go home and figure out what you’re going to do. So why don’t you see if you can make this a real marriage?”
That was exactly what he wanted to do. Run home and carry Sarah off to his bedroom. But he was sure he’d really screw himself over if he did that. He couldn’t figure out where all this was coming from when he’d been prepared to live like a monk for the rest of his life. He was afraid to acknowledge the undercurrent of desire that swelled every time he looked at Sarah. Or the dreams that plagued him. What the hell was he going to do about it?
He sat out on the balcony long after Tony had gone inside. His mind was such a jumble he wondered if he’d ever get it straightened out.
Tony was watching a baseball game when Reno went back into the living room.
“I guess I need to go home,” he ventured.
“No kidding. Don’t forget, you promised Sarah you’d bring dinner.”
****
Sarah was upstairs bathing Molly when she heard the garage door open and close. In a few minutes, she heard Reno clear his throat. Looking over her shoulder she saw him standing in the door to the bathroom, watching her. He looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know quite what to do with himself. After a moment, he walked to the other side of the bathroom where the baby would be out of his line of sight. She’d sympathize with him if she knew what the hell his problem was. Without information she had to tamp down her irritation.
He cleared his throat. “I owe you an apology.”
“Yes, you do,” she said, not turning to look at him, her voice very calm. “Which particular thing are you apologizing for—running off for the day or shouting at me on the telephone? I’ll take either one.” She carefully avoided mentioning the scene from the night before.
“Both, as a matter of fact.” He leaned against the wall. “I was stupid and thoughtless today. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.”
“Fine.” She ignored him while she diapered Molly and dressed her for the night. “I just fed her, and I need to give her a bottle. I’m hoping she’ll sleep through the night again.”
“I’ve got food downstairs,” Reno said. “I’ll get it ready to heat in the microwave.”
Molly’s eyelids were drooping by the time the bottle was finished. Laying the little girl down in the crib, Sarah switched on the mobile. Then, after turning out all the lights except the night-light, she forced herself to go downstairs.
In the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water, leaned against the counter and eyed her husband. The air between them crackled.
“Everything’s heated,” he said, indicating the array of white cartons on the table. He’d also gotten out plates and silverware.
Good. Apparently, he wasn’t going to mention last night either.
“Then why don’t we eat? I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.”
They ate in a silence filled with electricity and tension. At last, Sarah put down her fork and looked at him. “I don’t know what’s going on here, Reno. There’s a lot you haven’t bothered to tell me. Of course, that’s your choice. But there’s so much tension in the air you could slice it.”
He watched her through narrowed eyes, saying nothing.
She hoped he couldn’t see the slight trembling in her hands. “Whatever it is, don’t you think you should accept the fact that everything’s got to come out sooner or later? The appropriate time will make itself known, but I wouldn’t wait too long if I were you.”
Panic flashed across his face. “Sarah, please, I—”
“Not now. I’m really tired. I think I’ll go on upstairs.”
She walked out of the room with dignity, leaving a frustrated Reno behind. But no more frustrated than she was. Secrets were going to kill them if she couldn’t find a way to break down the wall he’d built. And she’d better do it before it collapsed on them, destroying everything.
****
Sunday morning heralded another bright and beautiful day. With Reno hiding in his den, Sarah took advantage of the early morning cool to push Molly around the block in her stroller again. It wasn’t the relaxing walk it would have been under other circumstances, wondering if every car that passed or every stranger on the sidewalk was danger. She made sure she could access her gun in seconds if she needed to. She just hoped they caught the damn man soon.
She fixed sandwiches for lunch, but when Reno didn’t emerge from his self-imposed exile, she left his food on the counter and went upstairs to dress herself and the baby for the afternoon.
They said very little to each other on the drive to the Vanetta ranch. Molly was wide awake, for which Sarah gave thanks. That meant the baby would nap during the afternoon. Sarah felt as if the trip was thirty hours long instead of thirty minutes and sighed with relief when they drove down the narrow road and pulled up before the ranch house.
“My God, Lindsey, this is gorgeous,” Sarah said when the Vanettas came out to meet them. She sniffed the air, a heady mix of prairie grass, hay, horseflesh, and leather.
Lindsey grinned. “We love it here. Nick was a city boy all his life, but now he wouldn’t live anywhere else.”
The afternoon proved a respite for Sarah. She and Lindsey sat on the porch drinking lemonade and eating sugar cookies baked by Mary, the Vanettas’ housekeeper. Jason, the Vanettas’ one-year-old child, sat in the playpen burbling to himself and playing with his toys. Molly napped in the portable crib Lindsey had set up.
Nick and Reno headed out the back door. Sarah sat up in surprise when she saw Emilio, Mary’s husband, lead two horses from the stable as the two men approached.
“I didn’t know Reno could ride,” she commented.
“He rides a lot when he comes out here. Says it works out the cobwebs.”
Sarah eyed her husband carefully as he and Nick swung into their saddles. In his faded jeans, denim shirt, and scuffed boots, he looked every inch the cowboy, sitting on the horse as if he’d been doing it for years. Her breath caught in her throat, and she forced herself to swallow hard. No sex, they’d agreed, and after last night, she needed to make sure she didn’t give him the wrong signals. Why had her body chosen this particular time to decide to come out of the deep freeze?
She tried to focus on conversation with Lindsey, but her mind kept drifting. She was glad when the men returned and Mary announced it was time to eat.
They had dinner at a picnic table under a huge oak tree, the heat of the day fading and the huge oaks providing a leafy canopy against the sun. Despite the fact they had Molly with them, Reno seemed more relaxed, more at ease, sprawled in a chair as he laughed and joked. His enjoyment was evident in his body language and his easy conversation. Sarah almost regretted when it was time to leave.
By the time she settled the baby in her crib at home, Reno had once again gone directly to his den. Avoiding the issue, she told herself, but she was grateful not to have to deal with the awkwardness tonight. Sighing as she climbed into bed, she wondered what was going to happen to this relationship that seemed to be turning itself upside down.
He still hadn’t taken down the invisible walls around his bedroom, seeming to be much more comfortable in her room. And bed…
By now, she was familiar with his body as he was with hers. Foreplay didn’t require testing and experimentation anymore. Now they remembered which touches elicited the sounds of pleasure, which ones brought forth the most heated response.
Sarah loved when he took her nipples in his mouth as he was doing now, sucking on them and biting them gently until they were aching and swollen, each touch sending darts of pleasure through her body. His warm hands cradled each plump breast, kneading them while he drew on her tips, knowing the effect it had on her and chuckling softly against her flesh.
His mouth moved farther down her body, trailing wet kisses to her navel where he circled the indentation with the tip of his tongue. But when she tried to urge him lower, he moved his head completely and placed soft kisses at the crook of each elbow and the soft inner side of each wrists. Not until Reno had she realized how many erogenous zones lurked on her body.
“Reno.” His name rolled from her lips on an urgent sigh.
“Tell me what you want,” he commanded, his mouth just above the curls on her mound.
“You know,” she whispered. “You always know.”
“Tell me,” he repeated.
Sarah licked her lips. He always liked to hear her say it aloud. “Suck my pussy. Lick me with your tongue. Please.” This last a little more frantic.
His low chuckle had a hoarse sound to it. “Right now.”
He opened her labia as if he were unwrapping a present and lapped at her flesh as if he were a man dying of thirst. Darting inside her quivering channel, then out, then in, then tracing the entire length of her slit. Her hands fisted in the sheet as pleasure raced through her in a rush of heat. Her hips automatically lifted to urge him on more and more. When he slid two, then three fingers into her waiting cunt and closed his lips around her clit, it took barely one or two movements before her orgasm crested and rippled through her like waves crashing on a shore.
Sarah bucked against his mouth and hands, barely recognizing the keening sound low in her throat as spasm after spasm rocked her. The more she convulsed, the more rapidly Reno moved his fingers in and out and the harder he sucked on her clit, until he’d wrung the last drop of liquid and the last spasm of response from her convulsing body.
“Did you like that?” he asked, his words uneven.
“Yes.”
Before she could say more, he’d rolled on a condom and slid inside her. She loved the fullness of the feeling, the pleasure that shot through her body. And despite the fact that he’d just wrung an intense orgasm from her, she was riding the crest with him again and tumbling over the edge.
Afterward he caught his weight on his forearms and kissed her with infinite tenderness.
“Now you are truly mine.” His voice was ragged as he labored to breathe, but his words were firm. “Mine.”
“Yes. I am.” She reached her arms up to him and…
The sensation of falling woke Sarah. When she could brush the cobwebs from her brain, she realized the dream had been so real she’d reached for Reno and nearly fallen out of bed. She rolled back onto the tangled bedclothes and pressed her hands to her hot cheeks.
Hell!
This was really getting out of hand, but what could she do? How was she supposed to stop it?
****
She woke in the morning more tired than when she went to bed. This time the erotic dream was even more graphic than previous ones. She swore she could feel the imprint of Reno’s hands on her breasts and thighs, feel his semen on her skin, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, there were no visible marks. Nothing there. Only an insistent throbbing that demanded release.
She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror.
What’s happening to me? I never had dreams like this about Mike.
Or this kind of sex with Mike, if she were honest. She shivered, hoping cold showers would work as well for her as she heard they did for men.
For the rest of the week, Reno made it a point to avoid her. He left early each morning before she was up, calling during the day to check on her in a very formal voice and telling her he would work late and eat dinner out. Well, he’d hired her to be a single mother, and it seemed that was exactly what she’d turned out to be.
Sarah longed to use Lindsey as a sounding board, but the situation was too intimate to discuss. She would have felt uncomfortable sharing the details, so she kept everything locked inside and wondered how she and Reno were ever going to find some kind of even footing.
****
Reno threw himself into the routine at the office. If he’d worked with a frenzy before, now he was in overdrive. No one had any idea the agony he was suffering, sitting in his office long after others had left, staring out the window into the darkened night, wondering what he was going to do.
At odd moments, in the office or in meetings, he found his thoughts drifting and images of Sarah would flit across his mind. She moved with such a graceful economy of movement, always in control, the light scent of her perfume an aura around her. He didn’t trust himself to go home to her, to be alone with her.
Added to that was the constant worry about Luis Aguilar. He called Balenger twice, but the man had nothing to report. Aguilar seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth. Reno knew the cartel leader had people everywhere willing to hide him and help him. This waiting for the other shoe to drop was excruciating.
On the other hand, his original idea seemed to be working, because it was obvious Molly adored her. He heard baby sounds that, if she were older, could be construed as words until he wanted to scream. It just wasn’t fair. He had what most men dreamed about—a gorgeous wife and an adorable child—and he couldn’t bear to be around one or trust himself with the other. Now, in addition to the child, he had to stay away from his wife.
Sometimes, when he climbed the stairs late at night, he’d pause at the door of Sarah’s room, the way he had that first time, and watch her sleeping. He gave thanks she couldn’t see the enormous erection that sprang to life just by looking at her. How had he gotten himself into this mess?
When he couldn’t stand there anymore, he would go to his room, lie in the bed he hated, and stay awake until dawn, anguishing over his stupidity and his mistakes and his raw hunger for what might have been.
****
Friday afternoon, while Molly was napping, Sarah poured herself a glass of iced tea and took a new book and the baby monitor out to the patio. It was another gorgeous Texas spring day, and she didn’t want to be cooped up in the house. The sun was warm, the breeze like a soft caress on her face, and she slowly began to relax. She was so engrossed in reading, she didn’t hear Reno come out of the house.
“Good book?” he asked.
She was startled. He never came home early in the day.
“Yes, it is. Thank you for asking.” She frowned up at him. “Is something wrong? You’re home early.”
“Wrong? No, not at all. Can you call Nicki Vanetta and ask her to sit for a couple of hours?”
“I’ll call her.” Sarah tried to keep the surprise out of her voice. This was the first conversation they’d had all week, and she wasn’t about to break the mood. “What did you have in mind?”
“We’re going to pick up your new car.”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t you remember? I told you I was getting you an SUV and having it outfitted at Texas Armoring.”
So he did. She wanted to say how nice it would have been if she’d had some choice in the matter, but it was a small thing to make an issue out of. He was struggling with the role he’d been thrust into as it was.
“What about the car I have? What should I do with it?”
“Take everything out of it you need before we leave and park it in the driveway. Gary Stern’s going to pick it up and take it to the dealer we use. He’ll sell it, and the money will go into your checking account.”
She wanted to resent what she saw as high-handed, but again, he was so uptight, trying to do the right thing, that she didn’t think it was enough to make an issue of. “Okay. Let me call Nicki and see if she can come over.”
Reno leaned against the counter, hands in his pocket, watching her in frustration. He couldn’t seem to do anything right, and he was afraid he was losing the battle in his desire for her. They’d go would pick up her car, maybe have a quiet dinner someplace, and he’d try to get his libido under control before Sarah washed her hands of him.
“She’ll be here in thirty minutes,” Sarah told him, hanging up the phone. “Molly’s still asleep, and when she gets up, Nicki can feed her supper. How long will we be gone?”
“I thought maybe we’d road test the new car and grab a quick bite while we’re out. Does that sound okay?”
“Oh. Of course. Just let me put myself together.”
He wanted to tell her she looked totally together, but he was afraid a compliment would give her the wrong message. God, he’d made such a mess of things he was afraid to even tell his wife she looked nice.
****
Sarah had to admit Reno made a good choice with the vehicle. The Chevy Equinox wasn’t so large she felt overwhelmed by it, and the silver color made it look less threatening. He made her get behind the wheel and drive it herself as they left TAC.
“No time like the present to get used to it,” he said.
“What about your car? Are you just going to leave it here?”
“I’ve got someone coming to pick it up. No sweat.”
It didn’t take her long to get used to the vehicle as they drove through the Hill Country, enjoying the scenery cast in bronze by the late day sun. They stopped for an early meal at a small, little-known Italian restaurant that Reno had discovered years ago. The place was jammed, but the owner greeted them as if they were long lost family and set up a corner table for them.
“I found this place by accident one night,” he explained as they were seated. “The food is excellent, and the atmosphere’s casual and relaxing.”
And that it was. The aroma of garlic teased at their nostrils and stimulated their hunger. They shared an antipasto, savoring the sharp taste of their food and sipped on a bold, red wine. For the first time since the night of their wedding, the atmosphere between them eased. Over the main course, they chatted about common subjects—books they enjoyed, movies they’d seen, things they liked and things they didn’t. It amazed them both that they agreed in so many areas.
By the time they finished the meal, they were both feeling loose, without the tension that had gripped them. Reno took the keys to drive home, and when they pulled out of the parking lot, he took a CD from his pocket and slipped it into the player.
“New music for a new car,” he told her. “I heard you listening to Springsteen one night when you were cooking dinner. This is his latest.”
She was touched that he’d remembered and that he would take the time to do something so thoughtful. Maybe there was hope for them after all.
****
Their social life, with the exception of one or two business dinners when Sarah acted as hostess, consisted for the most part of time spent with Lindsey and Nick, but Sarah was content with that. She felt comfortable with them. They knew the truth about the marriage so she didn’t have to pretend, and she and Lindsey had become close friends.
And they spent more time with her parents than she had since Mike died. The Madisons adored Reno, and he seemed to genuinely like them. But it made it harder to hide the reality of their situation from her mother.
“You look, I don’t know, contented but not completely, Sarah,” Ellen said one day when she dropped by. “Sometimes you seem as if you’re living in limbo. Is everything all right with you and Reno?”
“Yes, Mother. I’m doing fine. It’s a good marriage, and he makes me happy.”
“I hope so, darling. You deserve to be happy. Not that we don’t like Reno. We’re crazy about him. I’m just concerned about you.”
“Please don’t worry. Everything’s great.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. Positive. I have a wonderful life.” She made a mental note to act less distracted when they were together. “By the way, did someone call you about information on you and Dad? Reno’s adding you to the company health insurance policy.”
“Yes. I meant to ask you about that.” Ellen’s voice sounded puzzled. “Why on earth is he doing that?”
“It’s very common in situations like this.” Sarah had rehearsed her answer. “A lot of companies include extended families.”
“Well, you be sure and thank him for us. It certainly makes things a lot easier.”
And it means he’s kept his part of the bargain.
She and Reno were finally at a point where they were more comfortable with each other, but only concentrated effort tamped down the sexual tension both felt bubbling beneath the surface. They dealt with it by avoiding physical contact and by going up to bed at different times.
The other problem wasn’t going away, either. Weekends, Reno locked himself in his den so he wouldn’t have to deal with Molly. Sarah wanted to weep with frustration. She had no idea how to break down the wall he’d built around himself, and every time she tried to bring up the subject, he shut her down at once.
“I don’t know what to do,” she told Lindsey. “If I could just find out what’s behind it, maybe I could come up with a solution. I’ve just never seen a man reject his own child this way, especially one so affectionate and lovable.”
“He’s fighting a lot of demons,” Lindsey told her. “I keep hoping he’ll pull himself out of it before it destroys him.”
“Can you at least give me a hint?”
Lindsey’s sigh was so heavy Sarah heard it through the phone wires. “If it were my story to tell, I would. Reno has to realize he can’t keep secrets forever and tell you himself.”
Once again, he avoided both her and Molly on the weekend except for the stilted dinners when they averted their eyes and made stilted conversation. The following Monday, he came home and told her he had to go to Colorado to meet with a new client.
“I should be able to wrap this up in a day or two, but it may take a little longer,” he told her, his voice uninflected. He might have been giving her a report. “There’s a major corporation interested in having us set up their security. We’d be training their security personnel, also. Lots of money involved so the partners often travel with a protective agent.”
“We’ll be fine,” Sarah assured him. “Just go and do what you have to.”
“I hate to be gone with Aguilar still on the loose. I spoke with Balenger this morning, and he said they may have a lead on him. I fucking hope so because this is nuts.”
“We’ll be fine,” she assured him.
“One other thing. I’ve put security on the house while I’m gone. And don’t bother to argue,” he told her when she opened her mouth to do just that. “I need it for my piece of mind. You’ll never know they’re here.”
She found she was actually glad to have him gone for a few days. It gave her a little breathing space and, at least temporarily, took care of the problem of two strangers living in the same house. And despite what he said, she was acutely aware of the car parked in her driveway every night. She brought whichever agent was sitting in it fresh coffee before she went to bed, along with whatever she had recently baked.
“We have a guest room,” she told the man on duty the second night. “I’m perfectly happy for you to use it.”
“Not in our orders, Mrs. Sullivan.” He smiled. “Thanks anyway, but we’re used to this.”
A larger problem was the erotic dreams that wouldn’t go away. She awoke every morning feeling as if she’d spent the entire night in heated lovemaking. Her nipples would be hard, and she could feel fluid between her legs. She tried staying up late and reading, watching documentaries on television, exercising before bedtime—nothing worked. She was thankful Reno was gone for a few days. At least, she didn’t always have to be on her guard.
He said little about the trip when he returned except that it was successful, and he’d tell her more about it when he had all the details together. He knew she was still interested in what went on at the office, and it was a safe area of conversation for them. The one night of easy camaraderie didn’t seem about to repeat itself.
A week later, Reno came home to tell her two of the Colorado executives were coming to town with their wives. They were combining a short vacation with a meeting at the Guardian offices to meet everyone and formalize the contracts.
“I’ll be taking them to dinner on the Riverwalk. Can you arrange for Nicki to sit so you can join us? I think having you there would make their wives more comfortable.”
“Of course. I’ll call her right away.”
She made all the arrangements at the restaurant, and Reno came home from work to change and pick her up.
“Thank you for doing this,” he told her.
“It’s part of the bargain,” she assured him and turned away. She didn’t need his impersonal thanks. She’d rather have nothing. But she’d walked into this bargain with her eyes wide open so she certainly couldn’t shut them now.
Sitting in the restaurant, she glanced at Reno seated at the opposite end of the table. He was looking at her with an unreadable expression in his eyes, almost as if he were seeing her for the first time. A sudden shiver ran through her body as she remembered that brief scene in her bedroom. She smiled at him, and he returned the smile, raising his glass to her in a silent toast.
God, she’s beautiful, Reno thought to himself, not for the first time. He watched his clients falling under her charm, as did nearly everyone. She had taken to wearing her hair clipped back with a barrette or in a loose braid at home, but tonight she wore it loose around her shoulders, a look that reminded him of clouds of soft, brown silk. The earrings he’d given her on their wedding day glistened and shimmered in the muted light whenever she moved her head. He’d been doing well keeping his feelings under control, but he felt a sudden surge of possessiveness that came at him out of nowhere.
He was shocked to realize how much he wanted his stamp on her. He loved to see that coffee-colored hair with its warm golden highlights hanging loose, the way it was when she got ready for bed, and run his fingers through it. He wanted to touch that skin with its honeyed glow and make her eyes blaze with passion. He wanted the world to know this exquisite creature was his wife. That she belonged to him.
What could he say to her? Sarah, I’m sorry I was so clumsy about this before, but I want you? Yes, in a way he’d never wanted any of the other women in his life. I love you? He wasn’t sure he even knew what love was anymore, except it led to vulnerability and pain. All he had to do was think of Molly to know how right he was.
Damn. He’d made a bargain and, if nothing else, he was a man of his word. Now, he was choking on it.