Shit. She’d figured it out.

Though I shouldn’t be surprised since the woman was a genius. But damn, I hadn’t expected her to say it so plainly. Again, I should have seen it coming, because from the moment I’d met her, Laney had never done the expected thing.

“Laney, it’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” One of her delicate red eyebrows arched. She was pressed against the door. Left leg crossed away from me, arms folded over her chest All clear back away signs.

“Okay, it is, but not how you’re thinking.”

“Because you know what I’m thinking right? In addition to everything else about me?”

I sighed, because I knew exactly what she thought. “I didn’t do anything but protect you, because it was part of my job. Though if I’m being honest I would have protected you anyway. Something about you Laney makes me want to keep you safe.”

“That something is Commander Mahoney, or more specifically, my research.” She shook her head and mumbled to herself, doing her best to block me out. “I’ll be happy to hand this research over. Maybe then I might actually be able to trust the people who come into my life.”

And that right there was the burden I couldn’t escape even if it did piss me off. “You trusted me enough with your body, and I didn’t hear any complaints.” It was childish of me to go there, but dammit I didn’t need her acting like I’d planned the fucking con of the century.

“Of course not,” she laughed bitterly, finally turning to look at me. “I thought you actually liked me Bennett!”

“I do! Jeez do you really think I’d do what we did together if I didn’t want to?”

“How should I know? No seriously Bennett, tell me how would I know that?”

Shit. I couldn’t even argue with that. She hadn’t had much exposure to men, and I was her first and only lover so she wouldn’t know. I wish she could understand. But given her limited interaction with people and the way her family had all but abandoned her, of course she would question me. I just wished it didn’t sting so damn much.

“You know me. Everything I told you has been the truth, I swear.”

“Except that you weren’t at Stanford to explore your options after retirement. You weren’t taking classes for real. You came to find out who shared the details of my research to a foreign government and to make sure it was safe and secure for the US government.” Her arms were crossed in a defensive gesture, but her voice broke on the last two words and her bottom lip wobbled.

“My directive was to keep you and the research safe. Make sure you didn’t find yourself at the mercy of some foreign agent.” She remained silent, but I knew Laney, and I could tell she fought for a rebuttal. “You offered to let me stay with you.”

“Playing right into your plan.”

That had been quite the lucky break. “Come on Laney. If anything, getting involved with you makes my job harder because I care if something happens to you. That means I’ll be distracted when I should be keeping you safe.” I couldn’t help but smack the steering wheel in anger, hating that she doubted not just me, but herself as well.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing you won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Don’t kid yourself sweetheart. We both know the only reason we won’t fuck again is because I’m going to respect your wishes. If I decide to ignore them I could be inside of you in less than ten seconds.” I didn’t need to be so crass but she needed to know the truth.

“I can’t deny that I want you Bennet, you are one hell of a man. I just wish it didn’t feel quite so much like pity.” Again her voice broke as she spoke, proof that she felt sadness more than anger.

“I don’t do pity fucks Laney. You’re smart and sexy, weird and funny. I like you and I really like burying my cock inside you until you scream my name.”

“Bennett.”

“No Laney, you wanted to talk about this, so let’s talk about it. I took you to bed, hell I keep taking you to bed because I want to. No other reason.”

“Bennett,” she said again with more urgency but I kept talking.

“If you have any doubts, I’m happy to show you again. And again.”

“Dammit Bennett, there’s a car behind us with no lights on. Got on a couple exits ago.”

Shit. Seriously? A quick glance in the rearview mirror told me she had nailed it. I slowed down, just easing off the gas to see how close we could get so I could take note of the color and maybe the make or model.

“Bennett what are you doing? Don’t get closer, we need to put more distance between us!” She pushed at my shoulder, urging me to listen but I focused on my task.

“Shit. It still has dealer’s plates, but I’m sure it’s stolen.” My foot slammed down on the gas, finally trying to put as much distance between us as possible. “This time of night it’ll be hard to lose this asshole, but I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will,” she said, white knuckling the door handle. Glancing in the mirror every few seconds to keep an eye on him. “How do you think he found us?”

Good fucking question. “Pretty sure there were two of them, maybe more. One kept an eye on us while the other is probably following the GPS to who knows where.” We drove in tense silence as the car, a maroon colored boxy sedan, maintained a respectful distance. I didn’t believe for one damn second this guy was just another overnight commuter, so I kept driving until the sun rose and more cars filled up the lanes.

We drove for miles and miles, finally crossing into New Mexico just as morning rush hour started.

“Shouldn’t we get off the highway?”

“Nah. I actually know what I’m doing Laney.” I smiled to take the sting off my words.

“But we’ve just merged into the left lane which means we have nowhere to go!”

I laughed, enjoying the faster pace of the left lane, going only about five miles under the speed limit. But up ahead I spotted my opening, and as soon as the maroon sedan settled three cars behind me in the left lane, I gunned it. Making my way across four lanes of traffic and turning onto the ramp with just seconds to spare. I saw the car trying to mimic my move but he wouldn’t make it. Didn’t make it.

“We have ten minutes, maybe fifteen to fill up and find an alternative route and lose that asshole for good.”

“Your Commander Mahoney is quite old school,” she told me as she pulled a map from the glove compartment. “I’ll find a route while you get gas. And water. And fruit.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Hopefully I’d find something else to help Laney change her mind about me. About us. If that’s really what I wanted.

***

After gas and snacks, we drove all night, over the Oklahoma border and straight into Kansas. Crossing the flat almost barren looking lands of the state during the night’s quietest hours. Laney sat quietly in the passenger seat, still maintaining a healthy distance—physical and emotional—between us, while I got lost in my own thoughts of the woman beside me.

What did I want from her? More sex, or something with staying power? But could we really be more than two people drawn together in a highly charged situation that that might have otherwise kept them apart? Were we simply doomed to end up as nothing more than footnotes in each other’s lives? I didn’t know yet, but I liked Delaney Watson. She was beautiful and didn’t know it, smart as hell, funny, quirky and kind. There was absolutely nothing not to like about her.

But as a Navy SEAL my life wasn’t my own, and that life was filled with uncertainty. It often meant long weeks, sometimes months, away from home that I couldn’t talk about. It meant secrets that would inevitably tear us apart. Laney would grow to resent my absences, the secrets, and the life we couldn’t have because of it. There would be anger that would grow into hate. And finally, the relationship that had held so much promise would become a prison for both of us.

I didn’t want that shit. I’d seen it happen to more than a few guys on the teams I’d been on. Some left the SEALs to save their family, others left the family to preserve the one thing that mattered to them. I needed to be focused out on a mission. Focus could be the difference between life and death, and worrying about someone else’s feelings would make death a greater than likely outcome. Shit this was all so damn confusing, and I had no clue what to do about it. All I knew was that I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Laney. Not yet.

“This has got to be the state with the most boring scenery by far,” Laney said, finally breaking the hours of silence in the car. I couldn’t help but laugh at her assessment.

“You probably aren’t the first to say that, but this is the path you chose.” I couldn’t say she was wrong though, considering this place was a political and financial shit show on top of having scenery the equivalent of tapioca pudding. “But this was the best route. It’s quiet and easy to spot trouble from a mile away.” Big cities had too much traffic, too many unknowns to account for.

“You need to sleep,” she told me, frowning as her big blue eyes studied the lines of my face as I glared at her. “Don’t try to intimidate me Bennett. You haven’t been able to stop yawning for the past two hours and your eyes are so tiny I don’t even know how you can possibly see in this flat, never ending land of darkness. There’s a motel three miles up the road just off the exit ramp, let’s go there and you can sleep. I’ll even keep watch if it’ll make you feel better.”

She was right about most of it, but she was out of her damn mind if she thought I’d sleep like a baby while she sat up all night listening for things to go bump in the night. I shook my head and she opened her mouth to argue. “Absolutely not Laney. You will sleep and you’ll do it right beside me. In my arms so I can make sure you’re safe at all times.”

Her mouth snapped shut and she gave a subtle nod of the head. I bit back a smile at how worried she seemed.

About me.

We arrived at the motel and showered—separately—before falling onto the uncomfortable bed into a quick sleep. I couldn’t deny how much it stung that Laney hadn’t even attempted to make a move on me but she had easily slipped into my embrace. And when she fell asleep she snuggled close, wrapping her arms around my waist and flinging a leg over mine, the way we’d been sleeping for weeks. Laney might be upset with me, but she felt this too. Whatever the hell it was, she felt it too.

The room shook, vibrated and lit up when the explosion sounded outside the room. It had to be the parking lot and I jumped straight from the bed to my feet, moving to the window in two long strides. I lifted one corner of the heavy curtains with a finger just to confirm what I already suspected. The exploding object out front was the gray Lincoln we’d gotten from the Commander.

“Son of a bitch!” I glanced over my shoulder certain that Laney couldn’t have possibly slept through the noise. She was already on her feet, jumping quickly into her clothes.

Sleepy green eyes blinked several times to adjust to the dark room. “Guess sleep time is over.”

I quirked a grin. Laney had a knack for sarcasm. “Well you can try for a few more minutes if it’ll make you feel better.”

Her eyes held humor but she shook her head. I could tell the moment she caught a glimpse of the mess outside because her eyes widened and her body went stiff.

“How are we going to get out of here?”

Good question. For safety, I’d requested a room on the second floor. That made us harder to get to, but it also limited the exit options. If we went out the front we would be easy targets, me to pick off and Laney for a kidnapping. Or we could shimmy down the bathroom window, a less ideal option, but one that increased our chances for survival.

“How are your rock climbing skills?”

Her lips twitched with a grin. “I’ve spent exactly three hours inside a climbing gym two years ago, does that answer your question?”

She was young and fit with the solid musculature of a runner. “You can do this, the drop isn’t too bad. Much better than the alternative.”

Laney understood what I was saying to her, and she nodded before bending over to double knot her sneakers. She tied the flannel shirt at her waist and hoisted her backpack over her shoulders.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

Just like that, my girl was ready to face an uncertain future. So brave and fucking fierce. How could I not want this woman? I flashed a grin and flung my own bag over my shoulders before resting my hands on hers. “Good girl,” I whispered and connected our mouths, fused them together in a hard and fast kiss. We reached for each other hungrily, raw need etching the kiss up to a temperature we had neither the time nor the option of exploring right now so I pulled back. “Okay babe, let’s do this.”

Getting down was easy, the drop was less than fifteen feet but the hard part came next. “We need a car.”

I grabbed her hand and we fled to the south end of the property, using the motel as cover to put as much distance between us and those assholes. “Keep moving.” I needed to think of something. Fast. We needed a car but hotwiring just any car would put the police on our asses and we couldn’t afford that.

“There!” Up the road she pointed towards a tow company and I gave her a curious look. “Between the two of us we should be able to hotwire one, right? I assume parts of your cover story were true, like the engineering part?”

I nodded, pulling her along as we crossed to the back side of the lot. She picked the lock on the gate and I went inside, finding a dark blue sedan that had seen better days. In less than a minute I had the wires stripped and the engine started. “Let’s go,” I told her.

“We should keep the route as previously planned. Did you get enough sleep?”

I grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I did, thank you Laney.”

“You’re welcome,” she sighed, giving me a wistful look, filled with something I didn’t really recognize, but I thought it might be love mixed with regret.

Strange.

The last time a woman looked at me like that I pretended to be going on a top secret mission to Africa and never came back. This time I wanted to hang on to that feeling. Savor it and pin it to my chest.

And never let it go.