Chapter 14
Lucy gave herself a once over. It had been several months since she had undergone chemotherapy and her hair was finally starting to take on some form of shape and the usual ashen color of her skin was starting to look rosier. Cancer was finally nothing but a nightmare that got tossed in a furnace, and she could once again look forward to living a long life.
The festive season had started, and families were gathering all over Erie, setting up giant Christmas trees and decorating their houses with lights. Every evening, and as part of her healthy regime, along with Jacob, they would walk the streets and admire the amazing light displays. The streets were crowded with excited children while every single store played Boney M and their festive collection of Christmas songs. The buzz in the town was palpable and contagious. The year before she never made a fuss about Christmas, she could hardly afford a turkey much less a present. If it wasn’t for Chris and his wife, Jacob would never have had a Christmas, but this year would be different. She had no debt, and she had picked up a second job doing blogs on company websites. Every extra penny earned from that went straight into her pocket. She would never be able to repay Joe for his kindness, and could only hope he would one day find happiness. They had kept in touch often enough shortly after he returned to California, but as the weeks turned into months they had less contact, until eventually all she could do was watch him play games on television. Jacob however asked about him every day and he hardly ever let that baseball glove out of his sight. But even though he haunted her every waking hour, she knew that this was all for the best.
“You ready?” she asked Jacob as he came tramping down the hallway with his gumboots.
“Yep!” he exclaimed and tugged his beanie over his head.
Lucy went down on her haunches and tugged his jumper tightly over his shoulders, “You need to be warm and cozy, and I don’t want you getting all sorts of nunu-bugs just before Christmas.” She pinched his cheeks and smiled before kissing his nose.
“Wait,” he said and pulled out of her arms, “my glove, I need to get my glove.”
“It’s just a short walk Jacob, we’ll be home in no time,” she protested.
“No, I have to keep it. It keeps the baddies away,” he insisted and ran back to his room.
In no time he reappeared and handed his glove to her. She smiled at her little man and shoved his favorite glove into his backpack.
“Right, so off we go, now that you have your glove we can go past Uncle Chris’ house too.”
After a few months in the big city, Chris and his wife eventually decided to move back to Erie, not only to be closer to Lucy and Jacob, but they just didn’t like the congestion and the long commutes. Somehow having them here, made everything seem less daunting.
Lucy spent the late afternoon with her son, admiring the extravagant light displays on some of the houses in the suburbs; her experience with cancer had given her an open outlook. She appreciated life in its fullest now. Having realized life is too precious to waste time on holding grudges, she was in a better place now.
They finally got to Chris’ house and Jacob rushed up the stairs to ring the bell. But just as he got to the door, it opened, and Joe stood there with a big smile on his face.
“Uncle Joe!” Jacob cried out and jumped up into his arms.
Lucy’s heart drummed so loudly in her chest that she could have sworn that it could be heard a few blocks away. She pressed her hand to her chest and bit her lip trying to calm herself down.
“This is a surprise,” she managed to say.
“Well it’s nearly Christmas, I figured I should spend it with my friends.”
Her heart fell into the pit of her stomach, he wasn’t here for her, she realized and her hopes were scattered to the four corners of the earth, but she managed to console herself that he at least considered Jacob. She entered the house, squeezing past him and even through her jumper she could feel his heat seep into her skin. Suddenly the bright lights of Christmas felt dim and colorless, and the festive mood she felt earlier was replaced with sorrow. She plastered a smile on her face and entered the house to find Chris, he must have known that Joe was going to be here, and if he did and failed to tell her then she was going to have a few words with him.
“Lucy!” Chris called out and hugged her tight, “So Joe decided to grace us all with his presence isn’t that an epic surprise?”
“Indeed,” she said with a tight lipped smile.
“So come on in, we have some cookies for the cookie monster in the kitchen.”
With Joe behind her carrying Jacob, she felt as if she was being herded into a slaughtering house and the only thing to be cut up in pieces was her heart.
The evening turned out rather pleasant, and soon Lucy was also enjoying the vibe and joining in on the fun. Much later that evening Jacob had fallen asleep and Chris offered to let him sleep in the spare bedroom.
“Why don’t you also crash here Luce?” Chris offered when Lucy yawned.
“No, it’s fine; it’s not too far to my place, but if Jacob can sleep over that will be great.”
She couldn’t sleep in the same house as Jacob, not in her current state of mind. The evening, although pleasant and joyful, went by with her and Joe barely speaking a word. He had spent most of his time with Jacob on his lap. It felt like they were two strangers thrown into an elevator that got stuck and had no choice but to communicate civilly. So sure, there was no animosity between them, but that friendship they rekindled when Joe came to help her when she was ill wasn’t quite there anymore.
“I’ll walk you home,” Joe said and stood up at the same time Lucy stood.
“No-I mean no, that’s fine, it’s really not that far, you stay here and enjoy the rest of the evening.”
Chris looked at her, and his wife Amber tugged him on the sleeve, “Don’t you want to bring me the cups?”
Lucy rolled her eyes mentally, and watched as Chris and Amber headed to the kitchen.
“Lucy it’s just a walk home, and I’m not going to take no for an answer,” Joe said and reached for her jumper.
“Fine,” she mumbled and allowed him to help her into her coat.
They headed outside and for a while they walked in utter silence. It was Joe who spoke first.
“I see Jacob missed me,” he said with a smile tugging his lips.
“Oh, he talks about you every day. And heaven forbid he doesn’t have your glove in his backpack, then all hell breaks loose,” she said and laughed softly, tucking her hands deeper into her pockets.
“At least is its being put to good use.”
Another stretch of silence passed between them as they made their way down the dimly lit street towards her apartment. Her thoughts were scattered like the stars in the sky, and the closer they got to her place, the more aware she became of his presence. The slow flutter of a million butterflies being released into nature started to tip her stomach upside down. His closeness stirred up emotions she had tried so hard to bury for so long, and now all she could think of was the sudden urge to kiss him.
They reached her apartment and her feet felt like lead as she ascended the few stairs to the door; he wasn’t following her. He stood right there on the sidewalk with his hands tucked into his jacket.
“Thank you for walking me,” she said as she turned around.
“Sure, no problem at all, I’ll bring Jacob around in the morning.”
She turned to push the door open, and then spun around, “Would you like to come in for some coffee?” she asked spontaneously.
He dragged his hand through his hair and smiled, “Sure, why not.”
She had barely closed her door behind them when Joe reached for her and tugged her against him. Her eyes locked on his parted lips and his breath assaulted her senses, it was a mixture of wine and lemon meringue. Before she could utter a word he pressed his lips against hers, wanting, searching, exploring. His tongue grazed hers and was it not for his one arm wound around her waist; she would have collapsed into a pathetic hot mess. His kiss consumed her and as if that was not enough, his one free hand palmed her breast, the only one she had left after the mastectomy. She froze and immediately tried to break free, but he kept her prisoner in his embrace.
“Lucy…” he whispered in a hoarse voice, “Don’t push me away again.”
“I’m not… I can’t…” but her words were all muddled up, her body had hijacked her mind and she couldn’t string one single sentence together.
“I don’t care what you look like, you’re perfect,” he whispered as he ran his lips along the side of her face, slowly tilting her back until he sucked the skin just below her ear, “Just let me.”
“Joe…” she whispered but the way lips roamed over her heated skin rendered her speechless.
This time when he lifted her into his arms and wound her legs around his waist, she didn’t protest, she captured his lips and kissed him as if the end of the world was upon them. She wanted to touch him, wanted to feel him and at all costs she was going to let herself go and just let him.
He walked her through to her bedroom and with one knee on the end of the bed, he gently lowered her down, and as she met his gaze a smile spread across his lips. The look in his eyes was one of adoration, and it melted away all her resistance.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he helped her out of her jumper, and although she was terrified of being exposed completely she allowed him to undress her.
“If you say so,” she whispered softly as she reached for his shirt after he shrugged off his own coat.
Her fingers were trembling so much, she feared that she’d never be able to undress him but she managed, and as he stood before her she could hardly breathe. He was a lot more muscular than she remembered, toned like a true sportsman with abs that mapped his stomach like the interstate that led straight to the airport. He chuckled and she realized that she was staring at him and instantly she felt a blush spread across her cheeks.
He slowly moved over her and kissed the hollow of her throat, then dragged his lips across her chest sucking the one and only taut tip into his mouth. An audible moan escaped her and she dragged her foot up the back of his leg, desperate for more. He didn’t make her wait, and as he slowly scooted up until he was nestled between her legs, she let out a soft sigh.
“I want you Lucy, I don’t think I ever stopped wanting you,” he whispered as he looked into her eyes.
What would she say to that? There was a time she had filed him and all memories of him in file thirteen, but if she had to be honest with herself, she would never have settled for anyone other than Joe.
“Then have me,” she whispered as she reached up to run her fingertip across his bottom lip.
He groaned and sucked her finger into his mouth and at the same time he dipped his hips and entered her. She threw her head back and moaned as she felt him move. Every thrust seemingly calculated and slow as if he was deliberately trying to drive her insane. She had lost her grip on reality and felt as if she was floating, gravity defeated. They were one, in mind and body. Like synchronized dancers they moved as if they were gears in a clock, the one matching the other perfectly. His thrusts changed from gentle to demanding, she wound her legs around his as if to keep him there forever.
“I’m in love with you,” Joe whispered.
Lucy’s eyes flew open and as she met his gaze the entire room and all that surrounded them faded into the background and they both crumbled like a sand castle being washed away by a wave of passion.
***
Joe stirred awake and immediately felt the empty space next to him.
“Lucy?” he called quietly as he exited the room wearing only his jocks.
“I’m here,” she said.
She was sitting on his favorite butternut yellow sofa with a sheet wrapped round her shoulders.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he came to sit next to her.
“Did you mean what you said?” she asked as she picked at thumb nail.
She had insecurities, and he knew they were warranted, and it was all because of him and his stupid choices in life. He scooted closer to her and stilled her fidgeting fingers.
“Lucy, I know we have a past, but the time I spent getting to know Jacob, and you, I’ve come to realize just how superficial my life had been. I thought I had it all, fame, fortune the works,” he pulled her over to him until she was curled up on his lap, “but none of it matters in the end. I am in love with you, and our son. I want us to be a family.”
There, he said it, and it was the god’s honest truth. Lucy was silent for a brief moment, and when he tucked his finger under her chin to make her look up at him, tears shimmered in her eyes.
“I-I never stopped loving you,” she admitted and averted her eyes.
Joe was beside himself, and if he had his way he would take her to bed again and again and again, but instead he cupped her cheek and kissed her softly.
“I want to marry you, today.”
“But it’s Christmas,” she said and laughed softly.
“It will be a Christmas to remember.”
***
THE END
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