Chapter 11
Joe had made some herbal tea for Lucy and got her medication, while she put Jacob to bed. It was one thing being here with Jacob, but being here with Lucy was a real trip down memory lane. Although, what they had all those years back was a fly by night romance that would never have lasted, the scent that filled this small space was distinctly Lucy, a mix of lavender and well, lavender. He was never good with the different scents women liked and the only one he knew popped to mind.
Her door stood slightly ajar as he got to her room, “Lucy?” he warned before he stepped into her room. She was lying curled up under her blanket and her shoulders were shaking.
“Lucy, are you okay?” he asked again and placed her tea and pills next to her on the night stand.
“I-I’m fine,” she said and sniffed.
“No, you’re not fine, come, have some tea,” he said and reached out to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged him away.
“I just want to be alone,” she whimpered.
He could leave her be, and give her, her space. But something in his gut told him otherwise and without putting much thought into it, he toed his shoes off and lay down behind her, spooning her frail body, separated by a thick blanket against him. He wouldn’t even know where to begin, but if holding her was all he could do to ease her worry and her pain then so be it. At least she didn’t chase him away this time, he thought as he buried his nose in her hair. She just felt so perfect here in his arms. He never stayed over at any woman’s place, no woman ever stayed over at his, and he sure as hell didn’t cuddle after sex. But this wasn’t sex was it? It was something different, Lucy was also not his latest shag after a winning game, she was his friend, and he was doing exactly what friends would do, consoling her.
“You can talk to me, I want you to know that,” he whispered into her hair.
***
Where should she even start? She wondered as she lay in Joe’s arms. It felt so familiar, yet so strange. Why did life have to be so complicated? Telling him about Jacob could have one of two outcomes and neither of them promised anything good. He could either run because of shock or deny it, or he could accept it and the tabloids will go nuts over the gold digger from Erie who tried her luck at claiming his paternity for her illegitimate child. You have to tell him, Chris’ voice rung in her mind, reminding her that she can’t run forever, but this moment was too perfect to ruin.
“Jacob is pretty clever for a four-year-old,” he said.
She stiffened in his arms, was he fishing or was that genuine interest, “He is much more mature than some of his peers,” she said tentatively.
“Yeah, definitely your son there’s no doubt, thank god he got your brains, because if he got his dad’s brains it would have been an utter waste,” Joe continued.
Lucy turned unto her back and looked at him, “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m just saying, the dumbass that left without taking the responsibility of such a bright young boy, never deserved him in the first place.”
Lucy sucked in a breath and then scooted off to the other side of the bed and sat up.
“I don’t think he’s to blame,” she said and the way the muscle ticked in Joe’s jaw was obvious that he was annoyed, “Sometimes things just work out the way they do.”
Joe sat up and looked at her, “C’mon Luce, his name isn’t even on Jacob’s birth certificate; hell, if he was my kid I would have made sure my name appeared on that dotted line regardless of the state of my relationship with my child’s mother.”
Lucy threw her head back and laughed, “You? Seriously Joe, you hate the entire idea of kids, you made that quite clear that weekend...kids would never fit into your world.”
She had already said too much, fearful that he might have put one and one together, she got up and walked over to the window and peered into the brick wall opposite her bedroom window.
She felt Joe’s hands on her shoulders as he came to stand behind her, and her body sunk back against his, if only things weren’t as complicated as they were. She thought as she closed her eyes. Joe slowly pulled her back against him, and then he turned her around and hugged her against his chest and looked up into his eyes. He gently grazed her skin with the pad of his thumb and then ducked his head and looked deeply into her eyes.
“Everything will turn out fine, you’ll see.”
She nodded and looked down, averting the intensity of his gaze, but when he nudged her chin up with his knuckle, her lips parted and she inhaled sharply. He was so close; his eyes boring into her very soul and his lips paused inches from hers. The sudden spike in her pulse almost rendered her breathless, and as his mouth hovered just above her trembling lips she closed her eyes. She took a tentative breath but as she inhaled, his lips came down on hers. It was a gentle kiss at first, but as she relaxed in his embrace it became more urgent. A faint moan escaped her as the resistance she had fought so hard to keep at bay, crumbled down like a bank of eroded soil, washed away by the storm of passion that raged through her.
In one swift motion he bent his knees and tucked his hands under her bottom, lifting her effortlessly into his arms. Her legs snaked around him as if her mind had been hijacked. He gently laid her back down on the bed and once again brought his mouth to hers. His lips roamed, over her chin along the line of her jaw, devouring her. His stubble grazed the curve of her throat and her frantic heartbeat a million miles a second. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, feel his hands explore every inch of… No! She thought with a start, she’s half a woman, Joe would be horrified to see her naked. And as panic overpowered passion she shoved against him and slid out from under him.
“No! I mean we can’t,” she said trying to catch he breath and bring the erratic beat of her heart under control.
“Lucy, I…” he started dragging his fingers through his hair.
“He’s yours,” she blurted out without thinking. Anything to distract him and herself,
“What?” he asked as his brows creased together.
“Jacob, he’s yours, I should have told you,” she started but the look on his face was one of shock.
“Jacob is mine?” he asked disbelievingly.
All she could do was nod, words failed her and excuses had fled the recesses of her mind.
“I wanted…”
“You wanted to wait until he was eighteen to tell me, or wait until you were dead?” Joe ground out.
He was angry, and Lucy had no idea to handle anger other than retaliating.
“Well what did you expect me to do? You were the one who decided that baseball was more important than the people you left behind!”
“We were young, for god sakes Lucy, I hardly knew you before that weekend, and just because I thought to follow my career, now I’ve made bad choices? That’s pretty damn rich coming from someone who can’t even afford to pay her bills much less!”
She flinched and staggered backwards, “What do you know about my bills?”
He came closer and glared at her, “Everything, but you can thank your selfish ass that you won’t have to worry about a single cent anymore.”
Stumped, Lucy stood and stared at him, he had gone through her bills, what else did he come across? She watched him as he put his shoes back on, tugging violently at the shoelaces as he tied them. If she had to put their indiscretions on a scale, hers would far outweigh his. She had kept his son away from him for four years, and now that she was in a pinch, he was good enough. She had truly become a selfish wench with no regard as to how it would affect everyone else. As it stood at the moment, there would be no fixing this in a hurry.
She recoiled as the door slammed shut behind Joe, she contemplated running after him but her bravery failed her greatly, so she simply slumped down on the bed and sobbed.