Slapping my hands to my ears I scream. Everything I have been trying so hard to make sense of; all the faces I couldn’t remember, all the places I couldn’t recall, all of it comes back.

“What is that man’s name?” the girl asks scared and tired.

“His name is Marx Nixon.”

No! no, no, no…

“Emmy! Baby, open your eyes!” a distant voice begs but the memories keep me under.

“What’s your name?”

“Kodah,” the boy answers holding the girl tight.

“I’m going to get us out of here, Emmy, and when I do, I’m going to keep you.”

He was always there…

A man in all black gains the young girl’s attention. Death reflects in his eyes.

“Enjoy yourself, daughter, it’s your time to make me proud.”

Bile works its way up as I remember the performance...

“What’s wrong with her?” I hear Bailey cry in the distance.

A man lifts her tired and broken body off the stage and holds her close. Going against everything she thought he was, he takes care of her and bathes her… in his own way he saves her.

Buck…

“Do you feel it, baby?” he asks her, so much emotion in that single question. “Do you feel free?”

“Yes,” she cries, truly feeling free for the first time.

Oh God…

She begs to go back. She can’t leave without him. A man drags her along … the same man who bought her … Drifter.

“I’m sorry for this, sweetheart,” he tells her before sticking her with something.

Everything starts to go black but there is still only one person on her mind.

Yelling for his name she slips into darkness but not before whispering, “I love you.”

I lost him…

Opening her eyes, fluorescent lights blur into focus.

“Kodah,” she calls but gets no response.

Growing frantic, people try to calm her down but she can’t think beyond him.

“Where is he?” she begs to know. She has to find him.

Buck steps forward and drops down to her level. “He didn’t make it, Emmalyn.”

She loses it. She loses everything. She loses her heart. Then once again it all goes black.

Silence… Everything vanishes and it’s as if the weight of the last five years is gone.

Taking a deep and solid breath, I let it out. Everything leaves me with that one single breath. I’m okay. Letting my exhaustion pull me under, I sleep.

When I dream it’s not of the past and it’s not of the present, but it’s of the future… a future so beautiful and so bright. A future that I had forgotten about.

A future with Kodah.

* * *

The feeling of a hand running through my hair stirs me awake. Blinking a couple of times, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness.

Laying on my side I stare at Kodah’s defined chest marked by beautiful tattoos. Lifting my hand, I run it along the art. He’s changed. Gone is the hotheaded boy from the past, in his place is a cool and collected man.

Halting the movement in my hair, he pulls back and looks down at me. Those clear, sky blue eyes search mine with concern and fear.

Roaming his face, I take in the dark stubble along his jaw and his hair that he has let grow slightly. I run my hands to his shoulders and feel the growth in his muscles.

Tears spring to my eyes as I meet his gaze again. But they are tears of happiness… of true unbelievable happiness.

I have let go.

“I remember you,” I whisper and place my hands on his face. His eyes close as pain and relief flow out of him in waves. Reaching up he places his hand on top of mine and squeezes. “I can’t believe I ever forgot you,” I continue with remorse.

Opening his eyes, they shine with unshed tears. Lifting up he pushes me to my back and hovers above me. “Say it again,” he begs, his voice thick with emotion.

Choking on a sob I place my hand back on his face. “I remember you.”

Like the break of a dam everything flows out at once. Emotions so strong they swallow us whole guide our movements as our lips meet. The euphoria that fuels us makes every touch, every whisper, every tear pulse with need and love.

His kiss is felt all the way to my toes and his touch is felt all the way to my soul.

Pulling back his eyes never leave mine. “Say my name, baby.”

With love so strong, I pour every ounce of my soul into his name. A name that I had refused to remember. “Kodah.”

Just like that, all the years I have spent fighting my past and searching for my future lay to rest right here in the present.

Letting out a shuttered breath his body trembles and he places his forehead against mine. “I have missed you so fucking much.”

Tears continue to flow out of the corners of my eyes as I lie there staring at the man who owns me heart and soul. “I love you, Kodah,” I say on a hiccup

Without another word his lips are back on mine. Nothing about this kiss is soft and loving, it’s brutal and unforgiving. It’s a kiss that demands time to stand still so not a second of this moment can be missed.

Nipping at my bottom lip he forces my mouth open. Running his tongue along mine, I can’t help the desperate noise he forces from my throat.

“Again,” he grinds out, running his mouth to my ear.

“I love you,” I moan.

Caging me in he lowers himself to me and I gasp in need, my arms flying to his back. His body fits against mine in a way that proves we were made for each other.

“Again, baby. Please,” he begs, his voice unrecognizable as he pulls the strap to my bra down and trails kisses from my neck to my shoulder.

With my head thrown back to give him access I say it again, “I love you, Kodah.”

“Fuck,” he whispers in disbelief as he grinds into me, his body fueled by my words, his mind lost to the meaning.

“I need you,” his says through gritted teeth. “I have needed you.”

Pulling back, he meets my eyes. A man wild and starving stares down at me. His body shakes with restraint that he can’t hold back any longer.

There is so much that needs to be talked about, so much that is still unknown, but right now in this moment the one sure thing that I have in my life is right in front of me.

He has always been right here.

Sitting up I force him to lift to his knees. Not looking away from his stare, I reach behind me and unclasp my bra. Letting it fall I toss it to the side.

Sucking in a deep breath his mouth parts and his eyes hood to the point I almost can’t see them.

Reaching out, my hand visibly shakes with need as I place it on his cheek.

Repeating one of the last things I said to him before he was lost to me, I whisper with more confidence than I feel, “Make love to me.”

Swallowing hard his chest heaves.

All the urgency that was just fueling us is gone. Now in its place is the need to savor every moment. The need to remember.

Grabbing my hand from his face he brings it to his lips and kisses the inside of my wrist. A move he used to always do.

Dropping my hand, he slowly pushes me back until he’s hovering above me. “Is this real?” he asks in disbelief.

Nodding, I pull him down against me. With my feet, I push down his still unbuttoned jeans and whisper in his ear, “This is real.”

Burying his face in my neck he kicks his pants off the rest of the way before pushing back to his knees. Kneeling between my parted legs my mouth waters as his boxers ride low on his narrowed hips, his need for me hard and thick pushes against the offending material.

God, he’s beautiful.

Looking down at me in only my panties his eyes shine with the same awe and disbelief that I know shows in mine.

Placing his shaky hands on my bent legs, he slowly moves them up my thighs toward my core. “You’ve changed,” he whispers taking in my curves.

“So have you.” I gasp as his hands brush over my panties. My body clenches with need so strong I may not survive.

“You are so fucking perfect,” he says more to himself.

Leaning back over me he aligns our bodies so his length hits me in a way that makes me see stars.

Letting out a long moan I wrap myself around him as his hips move to a rhythm so slow, so seductive I can’t catch my breath.

Feelings I haven’t felt in a long time, feelings that now bring up memories, good and bad consume me.

“I won’t be able to hold back,” he whispers as he braces one arm on the side of my head while the other gently pulls my panties down my legs.

“Don’t hold back.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he continues, spreading me wide and placing his fingers on my bundle of nerves.

Letting out a gasp, I lift my hips searching for more. “You won’t,” I barely answer.

“I need you,” he repeats again, his fingers causing me to lose myself.

“You have me, Kodah.”

His name on my lips causes his fingers to pause but not for long.

Removing his hand, he reaches down, freeing his cock and aligns himself to me.

The feeling of him raw and bare against my slit startles me to reality.

“Wait! Kodah. Wait,” I gasp releasing my hold on him and pushing at his shoulders. Startled, his lost and hooded eyes meet mine and I explain a blush traveling to my cheeks. “I... I’m not on anything.”

His face goes blank as he takes in my words. So many things fly across his face but I know when he has figured it out. Something that can only be described as raw determination takes hold and he looks at me with wild possession.

Baring his teeth, he pushes in. Every inch steals my breath away.

Oh God. I’m so full of him.

Not stopping until his hips hit mine. I cry out, my head flying back into the pillow. “Ah!” My arms fly around his neck as my muscles clench uncontrollably around him.

Holy shit...

Dropping his head to my shoulder, he lets out a strangled moan, his chest heaving in time with our untamed heartbeats.

Bringing my hands to his hair, I grip the ends and pull his head back and look into his eyes, his face blurring with tears.

I have missed him so much. The fact that I ever forgot him has me wanting to beg for forgiveness. He was a memory that was meant to be remembered, not forgotten. No matter what our future holds, I will never forget him again.

Bringing his hand to my face he wipes away my tears and whispers the words I never thought I’d hear again.

“I love you, Emmy.”

Sliding my hands down his back I bring my lips to his and my walls clench around his length, forcing a low groan from us both.

Resting my head back to the pillow I stare up at him with contentment and need. I love him so much. No time could erase what we have. No struggles could take it away. I’m ready to live.

Seeing everything I’m thinking about run through my eyes, his features soften. “I’m going to make love to you,” he whispers pulling back, the emptiness only lasts for a second before he pushes back in. My toes curl at the pleasure.

“Yes,” I breathe as he repeats the move, each thrust hitting me harder than before, each grind working me higher to a point of no return.

“Fuck baby, so fucking perfect. So fucking mine,” he groans. “Never letting you go again.”

Oh fuck.

Breathing in each other’s moans our movements become frantic, the grinding of his hips bringing me to the brink.

Gritting his teeth, he snakes his hand under my back and runs it down to my ass. Squeezing me, he lifts my hips, the move forcing him to hit a spot in me so tender I nearly shatter.

“Oh God, Kodah,” I let out, squeezing my eyes shut, the feeling too much to handle. “I’m going to come.”

“No baby, open those fucking eyes for me,” he says through clenched teeth, the thrusting of his hips not wavering, the grinding against my clit taking me higher than I ever thought possible. “Remember, baby?” I shake my head I lose the ability to think. “Give me your light.”

My heart stutters and I obey his request. Opening my eyes, I watch his muscles bunch with every push and pull. I watch the veins in his neck pound with pleasure. I watch his eyes look down on me with love.

Oh God. I’m going to come. “I love you,” I breathe as I hit my peak. With one final thrust I come. With his name on my lips I fall.

Clawing my nails down his back as my body spasms around him, he throws his head back unable to hold back any longer. With three more jerks of his hips he comes, his moans low and unrestrained.

Bringing his head forward we just stare at each other panting, the reality of what we just did sinking in.

I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to take back all the time that was lost but at the same time, I never want to leave what is right now.

Kodah…he’s alive.

Reaching out I run my finger over his parted lips and repeat the very last thing I said to him all those years ago. “You set me free.”

Shaking his head, he kisses my finger then cages me back in, his length still hard inside me. “No baby, you set us free.”