Shutting the door behind me is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Her voice and her questions ring like bells in my ears. She’s not ready, I remind myself again. Everything in me screams to go back in there and tell her who I am, who she is, and what she fucking means to me. But I can’t…

Going against everything, I head for my bike parked on the other side of the hospital away from view.

I just need to keep being patient… she is coming to Cali.

The sound of boots approaching forces me to go on alert. Reaching for my gun I listen hard, trying to determine how many people are behind me, when the voice of one stops me.

“You don’t listen very well, do you?” Buck announces.

Well, fuck...

Releasing my gun, I crack my neck before turning and facing the two men who I hate just as much as I respect. Crossing my arms, I wait for whatever bullshit lecture they have for me this time.

I have been visiting Emmy for four years now and every time these fucks catch me. They don’t stop me, they just let me know they don’t like it. Always telling me what’s at risk with her memories, warning me that I could do more harm than good. But I saw the way Emmy always looked for me on the days she thinks I am going to visit. I would follow her for a long time before I would let her see me and I would watch her. She craved those moments just as much as I did.

“We need to talk,” Buck says, getting to the point. “Someone is after Emmalyn.”

Uncrossing my arms, something I haven’t felt in a very long time seeps in… Helplessness.

No…

Without another thought, I walk past them heading back in Emmy’s direction. Fuck waiting, she’s coming home with me.

Gripping my shoulder Drifter spins me around and I lock up, ready for a fight.

“Let me the fuck go,” I grind out.

Releasing his hold, he stares me down unflinching. “You need to hear us out, but you need to keep your fucking cool. The only reason why we’re telling you this is because we can use your help. Seeing as you’re so good at spying and stalking Emmy, we can use it as an advantage,” he says, subtly bringing up the fact that I refuse to listen to their warnings about leaving her alone.

Fuck them both.

“Who’s after her?”

They both look at each other. An obvious conversation passes between them. Shaking his head Buck causes Drifter to narrow his eyes before looking back to me. Evidence that they don’t agree.

Turning to me Drifter answers, “We think it’s Marx,”

All the air gets sucked from my lungs as I stumble back. What?

“We don’t know who it is,” Buck corrects. “All the descriptions and leads we have been getting point to Marx, but we don’t know for sure.” Something flashes in his eyes but it’s gone just as fast as it came.

Restless and on edge, my body buzzes.

“I thought he was dead,” I state, finding my voice. My skin itches with the need to find my girl. “Emmy is in that building alone, and Marx is somewhere out there looking for her?”

No fucking way.

Mind made up, I go to leave when Buck stops me.

I’m going to lose my shit.

“I’ll go get her, you need to know what’s going on.” Without another word Buck heads to where I just left. The uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach begs me to go with him, but I don’t move. Something tells me I need to know exactly what the fuck is going on.

Turning back to Drifter, I look at him expectantly.

“The last few years we’ve been getting notes and shit addressed to Emmy. All of them saying and implying things that only someone who knew her well would know… someone from that place. All witnesses and surveillance footage show a man with the same look as Marx. Only thing is no one has seen his face. He’s always avoiding cameras and wearing a hat.”

“If he’s sending her notes and not being conspicuous about it, why hide his face?” I ask.

“Could be because not many people know he’s alive, and the ones that do want him dead.”

It makes sense, but something still just doesn’t sit right with me. “Why doesn’t Buck think it’s Marx?”

“Probably for the same reason you are questioning it. Playing these twisted games doesn’t really seem like it would be the style of a man like Marx. You would think that he was above playing with his victims, he would just strike. But Marx isn’t that same man. He’s lost everything. He’s desperate. And he’s coming for the only person who he believes took it all away.”

Anger surges through me at the threat. “This has been going on for years? And you’re just now telling me?”

Something suddenly occurs to me. “Why now? What happened that is making you fuckers tell me now?”

Running his hands through his hair, he grips the ends before letting out a breath. “About five months ago, him and a woman with the same description as Mo were spotted here at the hospital.”

I physically feel myself pale.

“That’s why she is moving with me to California,” he continues. “We aren’t forcing her, but we did manipulate her into remembering some things and she now wants to go back. But with that comes complications, Kodah. She still doesn’t fully remember things, she still suffers panic attacks and she is still vulnerable. Now, she is also in danger.”

All this time he has been alive?

Defiance and rage mix with helplessness. “Maybe it’s time she remembers. If she’s in danger she needs to know. She can’t just be wandering around! She needs to stay with me, the club will keep her safe.”

If I wasn’t watching him closely, I would have missed the flinch in his eyes. “Think about what you are saying, Kodah. You think she will be comfortable in your world? Where women are there for sex and the law is enforced by blood and death? She left that life behind, she doesn’t need to go back.”

This time it’s me who flinches. “My home is nothing like that fucking place and you fucking know it. You may not be part of the club, Drifter, but you still reside in our town. You better show some fucking respect,” I seethe. “Those women are there by fucking choice and those men are doing a better job of putting scum like Marx in the ground than any police force or you will ever do. Old ladies are treated with the utmost respect and I would never EVER let anything fucking happen to her… ever,” I finish, my body vibrating with anger so strong everything tints in red.

His eyes soften, which only adds fuel to my fire. “Kodah, I’m not saying she wouldn’t be safe with you, but right now she’s not in the right place to be in that kind of environment. If you force this on her, she could backtrack and we would be back to square one.” The truth of his words turns the fire in my veins to ice.

I feel powerless… I swore I would never let anything make me or her feel this way again.

“She is starting to remember, she is getting stronger. She is going to remember and when she does, you will be there.”

My knees nearly give out at the thought.

It’s as if I have been waiting my whole life for that fucking moment, and here it is just out of reach and now there is someone trying to take it all away.

Not just someone. The same person who caused it all to begin with.

Marx Nixon.

Letting out a pained breath I ask, “So what do I do?”

“Just what you’ve been doing. Keep an eye on her, keep her safe.” Clenching his jaw he continues, but he doesn’t meet my eyes. “We don’t know much of her past other than she is from Providence, so most likely things will jog her memory and can cause attacks. With everything going on Buck and I can’t always be there to protect her.”

Nodding my head, I try to remember the stories she told me of her past but come up blank. She never really talked much about who her family was, just that she couldn’t believe they gave her up and the future she always thought she’d have.

“And Marx?” I ask.

“Leave that to us.”

* * *

“Let her grow on her own. You … you grow on your own, find your path. And if it’s meant to be like I think it is, your paths will cross again.”

The nurse’s words weigh heavy on me as I leave the hospital. The picture she gave me sits like a brick in my pocket.

The automatic reaction to second-guess our future makes it hard to not turn around. I have to believe in her…in us. I have to believe that our paths will cross again, that our story isn’t over.

She just needs time, she will remember me. She has to remember me.

Lost in thought, my attention to my surroundings fades and the sound of a vehicle coming up behind me causes me to jump back to the here and now.

Looking in my side mirror I watch as a tall white truck comes flying on my ass.

What the fuck?

Hitting the throttle, I force my bike to go faster but the truck doesn’t waiver. As it pulls up alongside me, I brace for the worst.

“Pull the fuck over!” Bucks yells as he leans out of the passenger window, his voice barely heard over the roar of my bike.

Following his orders, I pull off to the shoulder and come to a stop. How the fuck did he find me? I have been looking for this motherfucker for months, it was like he just disappeared. But of course he didn’t… he was right here this whole time… with Emmy.

Hearing his truck door slam behind me, I stay put trying to decide how I feel. So many emotions are going through me, the hurt and emptiness of Emmy, the confusion of Buck and Drifter, and the hate and anger of everything that has brought me to this point.

I’m fucking drowning.

Hearing his footsteps stop beside me, I look over and the man standing there looks nothing like the man I know.

His normally buzz cut hair is longer, almost hanging in his eyes. His face that was always clean shaven is now layered in a full beard. Wearing a clean white tee and jeans, the person standing before me is unrecognizable.

“Buck?”

“We need to talk.” His tone dismissive and final. “There’s a place not too far, follow me.” Without another word, he turns on his heels back to his truck.

Son of a bitch.

Part of me is saying that I shouldn’t go. To hell with whatever he has to say. But the other part saying that I need to hear what he has to say rings stronger.

* * *

Pulling up to a small diner just a few miles from the hospital, I cut the engine and hop off my bike. Coming up to the truck, I stop when both the driver and passenger doors open.

“What the fuck is this?” I grind out, not understanding what I’m seeing. “Another set up?” I mock.

Coming to a stop in front of me stands Buck and the man I recognize as Emmy’s former buyer, Joshua Gable AKA Drifter.

Silence falls as we all stand there staring at each other. So much hate and remorse hangs like a curtain between us. So many secrets… so many lies.

Without a word, both men turn and head for the diner. Gritting my teeth, I follow.

Silently we are lead to a booth, the two men sit opposite from me.

Placing menus in front of us, the blonde waitress meets each of our eyes, the telltale signs of want shows in her body language. “Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?” she asks leaning against the table, her tits threatening to spill out of her top. The sticky sweet lust in her voice causes my stomach to turn. I can’t stand it.

Making the decision to get the hell out of there before I kill the bitch, I start to get up but Drifter stops me.

“Waters and whatever is on special will be good,” Drifter answers.

Looking to them, I find them both watching me.

Hearing the girl walk away, I relax.

“You looked like she was going to bite you,” Drifter mutters as soon as she’s gone.

“Do you blame me?” I counter, glaring at the man who I last saw being dragged out of the house by Buck, beaten and bruised.

My question causes his eyes to flash to the table. “No”.

Not satisfied with his answer, the anger that has been simmering inside me starts to boil.

“No? Yea, I didn’t think so.” Facing Buck’s hard glare, I meet it with my own. “And where the fuck have you been? What the fuck happened, huh?” Banging my hand on the table the silverware shakes. “I’ve lost the only reason to live! Do you fucking get that? JB and I have been on our own out here with no clue how to fucking survive! You were supposed to get us out! Where. The fuck. Were you?”

Muscles work on his jaw at my outburst and Drifter holds his hand out warning me to calm down. With my chest heaving I do my best to get under control, but I feel my walls crumbling around me.

Red and blue tunnels my vision, anger and defeat flows through my body.

I should have never left her.

Drifter speaks up and I have to tear my eyes away from Buck’s unflinching glare. “What you and Emmalyn went through; what all those kids went through… it shouldn’t have fucking happened. Kodah, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” I seethe. “You don’t know shit about what I have fucking been through.”

“You’re right,” he agrees and I want to jump across the table and rip him apart. “But I know more than you think. I have spent the last six months watching a girl fight and overcome things no person should ever have to, only to have all her hard work get ripped away at the mention of your name… at a drawing of your face.” His words are like ice cold water to my heated skin, everything but loss seeps out of me. “You both have a second chance at life, at freedom. Let us help you.”

“Like you were supposed to help us escape?” I mock, the fight leaving me.

Letting out a sigh, Drifter leans back in his seat and Buck finally speaks. “Where are you stayin’?”

Shrugging my shoulders I answer, “JB and I have been finding motels here and there that let us stay for work…or on the street.”

The waitress comes back with our waters and food breaking the pity stares both men were giving me. Fuck them. I don’t need their pity. I don’t need shit other than Emmy.

Staring down at the food in front of me, my stomach rumbles. I haven’t had an actual meal since everything went down. This isn’t what I thought being free would be like. None of it means anything without her.

As soon as the waitress leaves both men look to each other, something passing between them before focusing back on me.

Reaching into his back pocket Buck pulls his wallet out, showcasing a stack of cash. Leaning over, he places it in front of me.

“I know a place you can go where you can work and live.”

Taking my eyes off the money in front of me, I meet their stares. “No one will hire me. Even if they did I’m too fucked up to work a normal job.” The truth of my words has been proven over and over since I escaped that place.

“This place isn’t normal, Kodah,” Drifter interrupts. “This is a brotherhood full of fucked up men just like you who don’t fit into society. Some of these men have fought for our country, others have fought for their lives. They don’t live by the rules these people do,” he says pointing around. “They live by their own rules. They don’t judge and they don’t give a shit what you’ve been through. All they care about is fucking loyalty. You make it past prospecting for them, you will have brothers that will have your back for life. Those men will die for you.”

“Who are they?” I ask, the thought sounding too good to be true.

“They’re an MC; a motorcycle club. They go by the name Soulless Sinners.”

Pointing to the money, Buck says with finality, “Take the fucking cash, Kodah. Go get JB and get the fuck out of here.”

Looking down at the money, my vision starts to blur as tears threaten to spill.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

“You don’t fucking get it.” My voice comes out shaky. “I can’t leave her.”

“This isn’t leaving her.”

Confused I look back to them. “Where is this place?”

“Providence, California”.

My eyes widen at the name. How?

Giving me a knowing look, Buck nods his head once. “That’s where Emmy is from.”

“We know,” Drifter says. “It’s also where I’m from.” Something passes across his face and I squint, trying to figure out his double meaning.

“Did you know Emmy before this?” I ask, an unsolved puzzle filling my head.

Shaking his head, he grits his teeth. “It’s just a small fucking world.”

Not fully convinced, I watch his jaw work and his eyes wander before Buck cuts in reluctantly, drawing me away from Drifter.

“This is your chance at freedom, Kodah. Take it. Grab JB and make something of yourself. Give Emmalyn the life she deserves. When she is ready, you will be too.”

“What if she needs me?” I choke out, swallowing hard.

“Then we will know where to find you.”