“There she is.” Turning to the sound of Drifter’s voice, I beam. “Are you all packed?” he asks leaning against the doorframe, his broad shoulders pushing his white tee to the limit as he crosses his arms. His cut and riding boots fill me with comfort.

I’ve missed him.

It’s been two months since I decided I wanted to move. I thought it was going to be like pulling teeth to try and convince him and Buck to let me leave. Their concerns being my panic attacks and flashbacks. With the hospital just down the road, I have help whenever I need it. But it really only took a couple of pleases and puppy dog eyes before they agreed. After that it was like I couldn’t pack fast enough.

“I guess so.” I shrug. “There really isn’t much for me to pack.” Turning back to what I was doing, I look at my small suitcase that holds the small amount of clothes and necessities I own.

The truth is, there isn’t much I want to bring with me. The few paintings and pictures that still hang on the walls, all the furniture... it’s all staying. The less of the past I bring, the better.

“What about all your art shit?”

Grinning, I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

Drifter and Buck have become my father figures, both equally protective and both would do anything for me. When I first woke up at the hospital surrounded by strangers and no recollection of how I got there, I was terrified. The moment both men walked into the room I clung to them like a lifeline. I don’t know why I was instantly attached to them. I’ve found out since then that they were the reason all the kids were saved. I always just figured they were undercover and I had recognized them. It would explain why the other kids would cower when they were around. And it would explain why Drifter is always away on business.

When Drifter announced that he was moving back to Cali, I was heartbroken. He had given me his last name…him and Buck were all I knew. He wouldn’t tell me why he had to go back, just that it was for business, but he did promise it would be like he never left. Between the constant phone calls and surprise visits, he kept that promise.

“Buck has it all loaded in his truck,” I answer, sitting down on my bed. Leaning over I zip up my suitcase.

Pulling my legs to my chest, I look up at Drifter. His hair, longer than the last time I saw him, hangs shaggy and brushed out of his eyes. The shadow along his jawline is almost as dark as the shadows under his eyes. Worry seeps in. He looks exhausted.

“Is everything ok?” I ask quietly, observing him. Lately him and Buck have both seemed more tense than usual. Buck has barely let me out of his sight, opting to sleep on the couch here instead of at his house which is just down the road, and Drifter has been visiting more often, and each time he visits he seems more and more stressed, always on his phone and never far away from me.

Looking away he gathers himself before meeting my eyes. “Just got a lot goin’ on with work. That’s all sweetheart.”

Doubt swirls around us.

“What is it you’re working on?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

I try not to feel hurt at his secrecy, but lately it’s a little hard not to take any of it personally. “Why do you keep doing that?” I ask.

“Doing what, Emmy?” His question taking a cautious tone.

“That,” I answer pointing at him. “You and Buck have always been the two people I could count on to not treat me differently. To not treat me like I’m damaged. But lately you two have been acting like I am going to break at any moment.” The hurt seeps through my words. “I hear you two whispering and talking when you think I’m sleeping or not around. You’re keeping something from me.” Searching his eyes I watch as the truth causes him to flinch.

Quickly composing himself, he lets out a sigh and walks toward me. Balancing on the balls of his feet, he kneels so we are at eye level. His dominant presence sends automatic chills down my spine and out of instinct I look down, berating myself the moment I do.

Reaching out he grips my chin and lifts my face so I am forced to meet his eyes. “Emmalyn, why do you want to go to California?” Confused, I go to answer, but he cuts me off. “And don’t give me the shit about the picture. I want to know your reason right now.”

Searching his eyes, I take a deep breath before giving him my honest answer. “Since you gave me that picture I keep having flashbacks of the town you are from. I don’t know if they are real or a part of my imagination, but something about that place is calling me to it. It means something to me. Every time I think about the name of the town I get anxiety, the need to be there takes over my body. I can’t explain it but my future is there. I just know it is.”

Something almost like sadness crosses his face.

“What are you going to do when your future and your past collide?” he asks in almost a whisper. The seriousness in his face as he searches my eyes forces me to question myself.

Both my past and my future are unknown. What he is asking terrifies me but at the same time, something about that question also brings me hope. It’s like finding the light at the end of a tunnel; what it leads to is a mystery and it’s scary, but you can’t turn away because the promise of leaving the darkness is relieving.

I want to leave the darkness more than anything.

“I will face it head on,” I answer with conviction. “When that time comes, I’ll be ready.”

Without letting go of my chin he runs his thumb across my cheek and affection takes over his features. “Of course you will, sweetheart, you are so strong and so bright. I just hope that when that time comes you can also find it in you to forgive.” My brows furrow at his statement.

“Forgive what?”

The sound of a throat clearing startles us and I watch as his mask comes back down. Releasing me, he stands to his full height and turns to the door.

Standing there with her head down, Bailey rocks back and forth on her heels. “Hey sugar, how you doin’?” Drifter asks.

Not taking her eyes off the floor, she answers softly. “I’m good.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Drifter looks back to me and I shrug giving him a small smile.

Bailey and I met when we roomed together in the hospital and were forced into a world neither one of us knew anything about. We have been inseparable ever since. Bailey suffers from severe PTSD and life away from the slavery has not been easy for her. We both might have been slaves in the same place, but our stories are completely different.

For a while I was the only person who saw another side of Bailey. While doctors thought she would never leave the hospital, I never gave up on her. The truth is, I would have found a way to break her out if I had to, the place was doing her more harm than good… unintentionally, of course. Once I told Buck that I needed her to come live with me, it only took a few hours before we were both packing our bags. It was the best thing we could have done. Ever since then Bailey has started to heal. She still has panic attacks and night terrors, but she will talk without being told to and she will eat without waiting for permission. She still has a long way to go and she may never get over certain things, but she will get there. I know she will.

“Buck just called. He said he needs you over at his place,” Bailey says, lifting her head to relay the message.

Pulling out his phone, he looks down at the screen. “Shit.” Sliding it back in his pocket he looks back to me. “So, you sure you don’t want to leave today? Looks like you’re all ready to go”.

Guilt turns my stomach and this time it’s me who looks away. “No, I still have some things I need to tie up at the hospital. I won’t be done until later.”

I hear Bailey shift in the doorway and I look up, meeting her knowing gaze.

Drifter doesn’t miss it as he looks between us. “One of you gunna tell me?” he asks, crossing his arms.

Standing up I stretch my arms over my head trying to be as casual as possible. “It’s nothing, Drifter, really. Just people I’ve been avoiding saying goodbye to. There is a meeting tonight at the hospital and I figured then would be the best time to do it.”

Not looking convinced, Drifter looks between both of us again before heading to the door. “Well I got shit I got to take care of anyways.” Passing Bailey, he runs his hand through her blonde hair before looking back to me. “Stay in touch and don’t fucking go anywhere without letting us know.”

Shocked he dropped the subject, I slump back to my bed and let out a breath. The lie I told leaves a disgusting feeling in my mouth.

“You’re going to see him, aren’t you?” Bailey asks, her voice stronger now that Drifter is gone. Coming to sit on the bed with me, she plays with the zipper on my suitcase that rests between us.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” I ask, answering her question. “I don’t even know who he is. Dr. Hart thinks he’s a figment of my imagination and the one time I brought it up to Buck and Drifter they didn’t leave my side for weeks. And yet I feel like I can’t leave without seeing him one last time.”

Staring at me for a moment, she shakes her head gaining clarity. “You know I’m the last person you should ask that to, Emmy. I’m the craziest person here.” Shrugging her shoulders her eyes glaze over. “If sneaking out in hopes your stalker will show up is crazy... then I’m screwed,” she whispers.

My gut clenches at her words.

“You’re not screwed, Bailey.” I reach out and place my hand on top of hers.

Giving me a halfhearted smile she pulls away, her hand disappearing in her sweatshirt. “How do you know you’ll see him?” she asks, changing the subject.

Placing my hand in my lap I answer, “I don’t, but on the 26^th of every month … no matter where I am or what I am doing he’s there.”

“Today’s the 26^th,” she murmurs in recognition.

I nod my head, my nerves making me restless. I have to be crazy.

“So, where are you going to go?”

My heart stutters at her question. “I’m going to go to the first place I saw him.”

“The studio?”

Nodding, a shiver runs through me, the memory of the first time I saw him clear as day.

The hospital has an art studio. It’s a building not attached to the hospital itself, it’s a place where patients can go and escape; a place I practically lived at. The day I saw him there was a class going on, so it was busier than usual, but the second he walked in it was like no one else was in the room. The moment I heard the doors open, something electrifying coursed through me and for the first time since I could remember, I felt whole. He didn’t participate and he didn’t say a word, he just stood in the back of the room with his hood covering his face and watched us. No one thought anything of it because the room was full of victims of different kinds and he wasn’t the strangest thing there, but to me it was something life changing.

From that day on, every month on the 26^th, he has been there…whether I was getting coffee, working out, at therapy, or at home. He would only stay long enough to leave an impression, long enough for me to miss him when he was gone.

“But it’s closed today.”

“I got permission,” I answer, pulling the key from my pocket. “This is my last chance to see him again.”

“So you’re going alone?” she asks, her voice high with concern. “Emmy, what if he’s dangerous? What if something happens?” Starting to panic she begins rocking back and forth.

“Nothing is going to happen,” I assure her, trying to calm her down. Nothing will happen, I repeat to myself.

Covering her ears, she begins rocking back and forth, her eyes squeezing tightly shut. “I can’t lose you, Emmy.” She exhales, slowly starting to lose herself.

Reaching out I place my hands on top of hers, halting her movements and gaining her attention. “Look at me, Bailey.” Waiting until she opens her eyes I respond, “You’re not losing me. Nothing will happen.” Letting go of her hands, I sit back and watch her arms fall to her side, the fear still lingering on her face. “I can’t explain it, but deep down I know he is not just my stalker, it goes beyond that. I don’t think there is anyone on this earth I would be safer with,” I say, wanting… no, needing her to understand.

Wringing her fingers together she gives a single nod. “What am I supposed to tell Buck and Drifter if they come back?”

Guilt hits me again at the lie I told. I hate deceiving them especially after everything they have done for me, but I know if I were to tell them, there would be no escaping this house. I need to see him.

“You don’t need to say anything, Bailey. I don’t expect you to cover for me,” I answer, knowing what that kind of pressure would do to her.

Relief causes her shoulders to sag.

“Do you think we are making the right decision to leave?” Her question catches me off guard. Ever since I said I wanted to go, she has been on board. Not once did she ever question it or say she wanted to stay.

“Are you having second thoughts?” I ask, watching her reaction.

“No,” she answers then adds, “I’m just scared that this change won’t be what I hope. That I won’t find what I need to help me move on.”

Her fear mimics mine and I answer with the same thing I tell myself every day. “We were given a second chance for a reason. No matter what, Bailey, we will find out why and we will move on.”