“Baby, you are making me fucking worry,” Kodah says, coming up to block the sun.

Looking up at him from my position on the lawn, I roll my eyes. The past few days I have been exhausted, barely able to keep my eyes open. Ever since everything came out I have been going nonstop. Whether it’s spending time with my family or getting to know the club or being worshipped by Kodah, I haven’t stopped moving.

Today the club is having their family BBQ. With the adults occupied with food and crazy children, I thought I could sneak away to lay in the sun.

“I’m fine, Kodah. I’m just tired,” I say as he comes down to sit beside me. Falling onto his side he lays down next to me and doubt clouds his features, a frown pulling at his lips.

“You don’t look just tired, Emmy, you look sick. I think we need to go to the doctor.”

Giving him a small smile, I shake my head. “I’ll be better after I get some solid sleep.”

“You got sleep last night,” he argues and I give him a look that causes him to smirk before it falls from his face, regret taking its place. “I can stay here at the club tonight. Let you get some sleep, baby.”

My chest aches at the thought. I would rather never sleep again than sleep one night without him. “No, I’m okay. I promise.”

Leaning down, he kisses me on the nose, then pulls back. “Where’s Bailey?”

I let out a sigh. “She said she wasn’t feeling well, so I set her up in my old room at my dad’s.” I answer, sadness lingering in my voice.

I miss my best friend. With my life coming together here at the club and her life consisting of school, we hardly see each other and when we do, it’s like she’s hiding something from me. “I thought by bringing her to the family BBQ it would be tame enough for her to get to know everyone,” I say. Searching Kodah’s eyes I see something flash in them before he looks away.

“Just give her time, baby, I have a feeling she’ll come around.”

Turning my face back to the sun, I close my eyes and let out a breath.

I hope he’s right.

The feeling of his lips against my cheek burns hotter than the sun. Turning my head, I give him access to my neck. I will never get enough of him.

“Mmm, have I told you yet how fucking good you look in this dress, baby?” he groans in my ear as he places his hand on the inside of my thigh, the move forcing my dress further up.

“You did,” I answer, loving the way he makes me feel. “You told me as you were taking it back off of me.” My breath hitches at my last word, his fingers finding their way to my core.

Running his fingers back and forth over the thin material that blocks him he lets out a groan. “Let’s go back to the house so I can take it off again.”

“Kodah” I groan, panting at his onslaught. I almost give in when we are stopped.

“Aunty Em! Aunty Em!” Tank’s daughter Daisey yells as she rushes over to us. Removing his hand and jerking my dress back down, Kodah jumps up just in time to catch her midair before she lands on us.

Kodah throws her over his shoulder and stands up and she lets out a squeal. As he adjusts his pants, I can’t help but smirk.

“I got you now!” he shouts as he gives me a wink and takes off toward the front of the armory, the rest of the kids right on his heels begging for their turn.

Laughing I sit up and everything spins, causing my smile to fall as I catch my bearings.

Ughh, I need more sleep.

Forcing myself to my feet, I head back to where the party is. Standing around the grill Tank, Jinx and Mayhem fight over who is a better cook. Next to them old ladies set up the table with appetizers and side dishes. Club whores mingle about clingy to all the single men while eyeing the taken. Everyone is waiting until the sun goes down and the children go to sleep so they can all cut loose and lose themselves.

I have never felt more content in my life. I have everything I could ever want.

I’m finally home.

Finding a group of the old timers sitting around I move over to them. Sitting on the arm rest of Lenny’s chair, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. “How you doin’ sunshine?” he says, his voice rough from the years of smoking and drinking. “You ain’t lookin’ so good.”

Not able to hide my eye roll I just shrug. “I’m just tired.”

“Hey old man, get your hands off my girl,” Kodah barks. Out of breath from running with the kids, he comes over and lifts me up, pulling me into his arms.

Lenny’s cheeks grow red and all the other men laugh. “She was our little girl before she was yours. Remember that boy,” Chuck says, a huge smile on his face.

Laughing I lean down and place a kiss to Lenny’s cheek.

Steering me away, Kodah pulls me to his front and seals his lips over mine, taking my breath away. “How ‘bout we finish what was started?” he asks, pulling back slightly. Feeling his need for me against my stomach, my panties pool with want.

“Yes,” I whisper and pull his back to my lips.

“Cut it the fuck out,” my dad barks and I jump back but Kodah refuses to let me go far. With his body still plastered to mine he turns his head and glares at my dad. “What the fuck?”

Coming up beside me, my dad looks at me with soft eyes. “Hey sunshine, you feeling okay?”

Do I really look that bad?

Smiling his gaze narrows at Kodah. “We got church. Get the rest of the boys, I want to do this before the food gets cold.”

“Got it,” Kodah replies and my dad spins around and heads back inside. “Keep it up and I’m going to fucking bury you,” he throws over his shoulder, seriousness in his voice.

Looking up to Kodah, I watch his eyes dance with humor as he looks back down at me. “I think he was being serious.”

Shaking his head, he pulls me in impossibly tighter. “Baby, at this point a bullet isn’t going to stop me.” Smiling from ear to ear, I throw my arms around his neck and smash my mouth to his forcing him to stumble back a few steps. Opening up, I force my tongue into his mouth and his hands shoot to my ass as he groans.

Reluctantly pulling back, his eyes hood and the black of his pupils takes over the blue. “As soon as church is done your ass is mine.” Nodding, in a daze, I step out of his embrace. Looking around his brows furrow. “You mind going and grabbing JB, baby? He said he was going to grab the hose from the side of the club. I’ll get the rest of the guys.”

Nodding again, I go to leave when he grips my hand and pulls me back against his chest. Looking up into his eyes so much love and happiness shines down at me. “I love you, Emmy.”

My heart…

“I love you, too,” I choke out. Leaning down, he gives me one last kiss before he goes.

Walking around to the side of the house, I catch Mayhem pulling the hose. “Where’s Rage?”

“Fucker was supposed to bring the hose over for the pool but never did. Think he’s over at Pop’s.”

Looking to the distance, I see his bike in front of my dad’s house. Why would he be over there?

Turning back to Mayhem, I thank him. “Pops called church,” I tell him as I walk away. “Thanks, sunshine,” he calls, my nickname already sticking with all the newer members.

Coming up to my dad’s house, I quietly open the door. The quietness in the house makes me uneasy. Where is JB? Where is Bailey?

Walking up the stairs, I hear what sounds like Bailey crying and I quickly take the steps two at a time. Rushing to my old room I peak through the cracked door, and what I see is enough to have my arms shooting to the wall for support.

Pushed up against the wall, JB stands there with his hand around Bailey’s throat. With his back to me I watch in mute horror as he grips her thigh and hikes it around his waist.

“This how it’s going to be, Bailey?” he growls as she struggles to breathe, her face turning red. “This what you need?”

I don’t know what forces me to stay where I am, maybe it’s the shock of what I’m seeing or maybe it’s the look on Bailey’s face as he dominates her… as he tortures her. Whatever the reason is, I just stand there watching with my heart in my stomach.

Finally releasing her throat, she crumples to the floor gasping for air but before she touches the floor, he catches her and slams her up against the wall.

“Say it!” he demands, gripping her face, his fingers digging into her cheeks. “Say it now.”

“Yes sir,” she breathes.

And my heart shatters.

Slamming his lips to hers he devours her, he owns her… he dominates her.

Pulling back, his hands still hold her cheeks in a brutal hold. “Get on your fucking knees,” he growls at her and her eyes shoot down like a submissive…like a slave.

That does it.

Snapping forward I shove the door the rest of the way open, the force causing it to crack against the wall.

“Get the fuck away from her!” I shout as I storm forward. Setting her down, he looks at me with shocked eyes. Shoving him back, I keep going. “How could you? You were there! You know what happened there! How could you treat her like that!”

“Emmy!” Bailey screams and I spin around facing her.

Tears stream down her face and panic sets in her eyes as she stares at me, wanting me to understand. Looking her up and down I search for the girl I knew, the timid girl who cowards at the sound of a male’s voice, the girl I would have to beg to leave the house with me, the girl who I thought would always tell me everything.

“Why Bailey?” I ask, my voice raw from yelling and thick from the hurt I feel.

“I’m sorry,” she cries.

The sound of footsteps racing up the stairs forces all of us to look to the door as Kodah rushes in and stops, taking in the scene.

Confusion flashes across his face first before he looks at the whole picture, then his eyes shoot to JB’s with anger before turning to me with regret.

“Did you know?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

Hurt, my eyes bounce to everyone’s and I see the truth of what’s going on and everything starts falling into place.

How did I not know this? How did I never see this? All the hints? The sudden change in Bailey, the cryptic way she would talk about needing something, how she would always act around JB…. This is what she meant? This is what she needed?

Looking to Kodah, I see the raw reality of what I just witnessed lingering in his eyes. Like he has seen it before, like he has been trying to understand for a long time.

Maybe it’s my fault she didn’t tell me. Maybe I had just refused to listen…

Turning to Bailey I try to understand, but come up empty.

“Why?” I ask again, my heart breaking for so many different reasons.

“This is what I need Emmy,” she says, starting to rock on the heels of her feet. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” JB crowds her at the sadness in her words and she looks to him in assurance before turning back to me. “But I have never felt this okay before.”

I just stare at my best friend, wanting more than anything to just understand.

“We have to go to church,” Kodah says, breaking the silence.

Tensing, JB looks down at Bailey and I see more than just his concern for her.

Having to look away, I meet Kodah’s eyes and I know he sees it too.

“Will you be okay?” Kodah asks and I nod. Turning back to JB, I watch him grip her chin and whisper something in her ear. Sniffling she nods and he pulls away. Looking to me, JB drops his mask and I see everything. “I won’t hurt her,” he says with conviction.

I try to find something to say, something encouraging, something that shows I believe him. But I can’t.

Throwing his hard mask back in place, he walks past me without another word. Turning to the door, I watch as both men leave.

Facing Bailey, I turn and head for the bed and she follows. Sitting with our legs crossed, only a few inches separate us as we just sit there and stare at each other. So much sits in the air between us.

“I feel like I don’t know who my best friend is anymore,” I say, breaking the silence.

“Please, don’t feel like that,” she says shaking her head “Nothing has changed, Emmy.”

“What do you mean nothing has changed? Everything has changed,” I argue. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? I could have helped you, we could have figured this out.”

Shaking her head, she wraps her arms around herself, a move I haven’t seen her do in a while. “There was nothing to figure out, Emmy. I’ve tried to be normal and I’ve tried to let go of things but I just couldn’t do it.” Meeting my eyes, I see the truth before it even leaves her mouth. “Emmy, I wanted to die.”

Tears now run down my face. “I didn’t know…”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to feel like this was your fault.”

Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around her and we fall into each other and cry. “I just want you to be okay,” I whisper pulling back.

Life replaces the sadness and her eyes shine bright.

“I am okay. I’ve never been better. I’m able to do things like a normal person. I can go out in public and I can talk to people without feeling like my skin is on fire. I’m healing.”

Really taking her in with new eyes, I see the glow of her skin and the pinks of her cheeks. I see the life in her eyes that I had never seen before. I see her happiness.

Thirty minutes go by as we sit there and really catch up. She tells me about her online classes and how it was JB who convinced her to go to school. I tell her more about my family and how I want her to be a part of it. I watch as she smiles and laughs. I watch as she blushes and giggles and not once do her eyes cloud over, not once does she lose herself.

“So, have you and JB had sex?” I ask.

Looking down at her hands she shakes her head. “I can’t do it,” she whispers. “It’s the only thing I can’t do.”

Shaking her head, she looks back to me. “Have you and Kodah?” she asks.

I feel my cheeks heat and I nod.

“A lot?”

“I think he feels like he has to make up for everything,” I say on a laugh.

Smiling, she rolls her eyes and mine widen at the gesture…who is this girl? “Well I guess as long as you’re safe, there’s no reason why you can’t. It’s not like you have exams anymore,” she says the last part coming out on a whisper.

A cold chill of awareness flows through me at her words and I still.

“I’m sorry, Emmy, I didn’t mean to-”

Shooting off the bed, I stand and place my hand to my forehead.

It can’t be…

“Emmy?” Bailey asks concerned.

Turning to her in a daze I ask, “What’s the date?”

“The 22^nd”

Doing the math in my head a numb fear takes over my body.

Holy shit…

“Emmy, are you okay?”

Meeting Bailey’s eyes I see the concern. “I have to go,” I blurt out. “Will you be okay?” I ask, my voice sounding far away.

She gives me an unsure nod and I don’t waste any time, the need for an answer spurring on my every move. Leaving my dad’s house, I head for the club. With every step I take, my stomach flips with anticipation at the possibility. So many thoughts run through my mind.

Not paying attention to where I’m going, I almost run into Buck.

“Whoa, Emmy,” he says, grabbing my shoulders and drawing my attention. “What’s going on?”

Meeting his eyes, I almost don’t see him, my mind so far gone.

“Are... are they still in church?”

Nodding he asks again, “What’s going on, Emmalyn?” His voice takes on a serious tone.

Taking a couple deep breaths, I meet his eyes. The man standing before me has done unimaginable things, things that I will never begin to understand, things that should have me fear him…hate him. Things that should make this the last man I go to for this. But that’s not how I feel. This is the man who gave me life, he gave me a second chance, he gave me my family back. I would trust him with my life…with my child’s life.

“Can you take me to the store?” I ask and his brows pinch in confusion.

“What do you need?”

“I think… I think I’m pregnant.”