My first thought as I heard my alarm go off was, today is the day I have been dreaming about. I have dreamed of college classes for so long it is hard to believe the time has finally arrived. For so long, I thought I would be a nervous wreck when this day finally arrived, I thought I wanted to just blend in. But, as I get out of bed, I realize I don’t have any anxiety; I am ready for this. It was like I woke up a completely different person; ready to take on Western State; ready to figure out who I am and build a life for myself without the influence of my brothers or my dad.
Sierra and I were just putting the finishing touches on our make up when her brothers barely knocked before walking right in. I was thankful I hadn’t hit snooze or they would have caught me in just my bra and panties, which happened to be the light blue pair that Steve picked out first when unpacking the other night. With excitement, Sierra and I took turns taking pictures in front of our door, the Morrison siblings enjoyed taking part in the McMann family tradition.
The cafeteria was busier than it had been the day before; I guess most people had taken advantage of being able to sleep in one last time the day before. While waiting in line, I created a collage of a couple of my favorite pictures and sent it off to my mom. She responded immediately with encouragement and love for my first day of classes. I was so busy texting back and forth with her, that I didn’t notice the same group of fraternity guys from the night before had joined us in line. Before I realized it, Steve had moved as close to me as possible without physically touching me. This time he couldn’t just usher Sierra and me away from the guys without looking like a total tool. I could feel eyes on me, without turning my attention to anyone in particular I was able to acknowledge the handful of guys that joined us in line. The Saturday night party topic came up again, one guy whose name I didn’t remember asked me directly if I would be attending the back to school party hosted by the fraternity. It was Steve that answered for me, telling him to leave me alone and that I would be there. That was news to me, when I looked towards Steve he gave me a look that pleaded for me to play along. Thankfully the breakfast line wasn’t moving along fast enough for those of us that had 8:00 am classes; Steve and I were in that category so we backed out of line and decided to hit one of the coffee carts located throughout campus. I said a quick good bye to everyone and made plans to meet Sierra for lunch.
By the time we got coffee and a muffin from the coffee cart located in the lobby of the Science building we had less than 10 minutes before class started. Out of all the classes I was enrolled in for fall quarter, Biology was the one that made me the most nervous. I had taken the high school science requirements early in my high school years, ninth and tenth grade to be exact. I took Biology in ninth grade and AP Chemistry in tenth grade. Not to mention the online Astronomy class I took with Calvin which was also during tenth grade, so it had been several years since I had taken any type of science class.
I was glad Steve was in the class with me, I know I was looking forward to having some freedom but maybe having this class with him wouldn’t be too bad. He guided me into class and toward the front of the classroom, he told me to take the seat at the end of the row closest to the wall which simply meant he was the only one who could sit next to me. Class went by quickly, with the basic syllabus, book and supply review taking up most of the time. The last 15 minutes the professor had us find a lab partner and said we should take a few minutes coordinating our schedule and signing up for lab time on our way out of class. It went without question that Steve and I would be lab partners and since he already knew my schedule, we went directly to the sign-up sheet where he wrote us in for a solid three-hour block of time every Monday for the duration of the semester. I was feeling pretty good at the conclusion of my very first college class. Since we were first to walk out of the class, we had more than a half hour before our next class started.
As we made our way to the Language Arts building, I pulled my phone out so I could touch base with my brothers. I sent them a quick message letting them know I successfully completed my first college class. It was less than two seconds before my phone was ringing, my favorite picture of Calvin popping on the screen. I flashed the screen toward Steve so he’d understand that I was taking the phone call and wouldn’t be heading inside. Before I could turn he leaned in and kissed me on the temple. I was frozen in shock, trying to answer the phone at the same time I was trying to process what just happened. The electric feelings I had been experiencing each time Steve inadvertently touched parts of my body were nothing compared to the physical bomb like explosion that just happened when his lips touched my temple. It quickly became apparent I wasn’t capable of having normal conversation with Calvin. He knew instantly that something wasn’t right, his rapid fire questions about what was wrong, what happened, where was I, who was I with only flustered me more than I already was. The only thing I managed to say aloud was “Steve” which I repeated over and over. Calvin broke my haze by asking if he could talk to Steve. Thankfully Steve hadn’t gone far so I could hand over my phone without having to speak. I couldn’t hear the full conversation but I heard Steve tell him that I would call him after I was back at my dorm. Steve ended the phone call and continued on as if nothing unusual had happened. He put his hand on my lower back to guide me towards our next class.
I spent the majority of class going back and forth between stealing quick glances at Steve to see if he was having a delayed reaction to kissing me, to then daydreaming of it happening again. I wondered if I could turn my head to the side and up fast enough for the kiss to hit my lips instead of my temple. Would the bomb feel different if the kiss was on my lips? Since I didn’t have many guys in my life, I hadn’t ever really wondered about what kissing someone would feel like. Now, knowing that a simple kiss on the side of my head caused heat to radiate from the spot of impact, my heart to race, my palms to sweat, and everything else in me to freeze, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about my first real kiss. Words I had heard my mom say a million times ran through my head, “I knew he was the one, the very first time he kissed me.”
After class Steve walked me to the cafeteria where I had made plans to meet Sierra for lunch. After catching up with Sierra, Steve took off for his PE class. It was the first time Sierra and I had been together outside of our dorm room, without one or both of her brothers stuck by our sides. It was a little exhilarating, I felt like a little kid getting to do something on my own for the first time...which technically I don’t think was too far from the truth.
Once we had our lunches, we made our way to the outdoor courtyard where we got comfortable at the only empty table. We were enjoying our lunch and talking about our classes up to that point when I heard my name. When I looked around, I saw Andrew and Blake headed our way. They were much more relaxed than they had been previously. They were both having fun and being goofy. It was fun to watch the way they interacted within their friendship, it allowed their personalities to show. More than once throughout lunch their interactions got us to laugh at their expense. Before taking off Andrew asked if we would go to dinner with them Friday night. Sierra smiled, so I accepted the invite. I didn’t realize it was a date until long after we walked away and Sierra started freaking out.
My last class of the day was Psychology. I was a little nervous walking into the classroom since Steve wasn’t by my side. I made my way towards the front of the classroom where I saw a few empty seats together. It didn’t take long until all the seats were taken by a group of rowdy guys. Two of the guys started talking to me right as the professor took to the front of the room. Thankfully I was able to focus on the professor and ignore those around me, at least until class was over. Since I sat down before the group of guys, I was stuck in my seat until they moved out of the row. Their conversation focused on the upcoming football game and fraternity party that was schedule for Saturday. As I followed them out of the classroom one guy called me beautiful and asked if I would be at the party Saturday night, at which point my thoughts turned to Steve telling his fraternity brothers I would be there. I didn’t want to be rude, but I also didn’t want to engage in conversation with a group of men that I didn’t know. To my surprise, Steve was waiting for me outside the classroom, making it easy for me to walk away from those guys without making a scene.
Since I was done with classes for the day, Steve walked me back to the dorm where I planned to get some homework done. Sierra wasn’t done with classes so the room was empty and as soon as we walked into the room it was like the air was sucked right out of me. I wasn’t sure if it was my lack of exposure to men, well men other than my dad and brothers, or if the reaction was due to Steve himself. He made himself comfortable on my bed, much like he had been the day I arrived on campus, although this time he kept his shirt on, while I unpacked my books. He patted my bed where he wanted me to take a seat. The nervous buzzing made me feel like I was having an out of body experience. My body moved to where he wanted me to sit, but I had no control over the movement. I sat with as much space between our bodies as the bed would allow. He reached out for my hand, at which point I know he had to have heard the gasping breath I took. My mind was running a million miles an hour, I already knew I had no control over my mind when it came to my thoughts about Steve. And now I was discovering that I had even less control over the way my body reacted to Steve. Our conversation was casual despite his hand holding mine. He asked, “How was lunch with Sierra? Everyone leave you two alone?”
I was suddenly nervous to tell him that she and I were going to dinner with Andrew and Blake Friday night. We weren’t doing anything wrong so I bit the bullet and just told him about our Friday night plans. “We actually made some new friends, Andrew and Blake. The tables were full so they ended up sharing with us. They invited us to have dinner with them Friday night.” As I spoke his grip on my hand got tighter and tighter, it wasn’t until I yelled, “Ouch” that he realized he was hurting me.
“Oh shit, I am so sorry.” He apologized, took my hand in both of his and started massaging it. He used the perfect amount of pressure; I couldn’t help but moan as my eyes rolled back in pleasure. Closing my eyes, all I could hear was my accelerated breathing which alternated with his. His right hand started to massage up my wrist and the pleasure pulsed up my arm and all the way down to my toes, hitting more sensitive parts than I knew I had along the way.
Right then Sierra walked in and prevented me from further embarrassment the least of which would have been moaning but very easily could have been me begging him to kiss me or touch me or take me. The vision of kissing, touching and taking played through my mind, during which time Steve stood up and informed Sierra in a very matter of factual way, “You need to cancel your plans for Friday night. It’s not happening Sierra. Don’t bother trying to argue with me about it either.”
Sierra was speechless as Steve went on to tell her, “You don’t even know those guys. You can’t be saying yes to the first guy who asks you out. What the hell Sierra? You seriously think those two jackasses know how to treat you?”
I knew he was protective, but I was slightly taken back at the assumptions he was making about Andrew and Blake. It was like he knew without a doubt that they would disrespect us, take advantage of us, on top of hurting us physically. I was used to the over the top protection from my dad and brothers, and deep down I knew why they behaved the way they did. Steve ranting like he was gave me a glimpse that I wasn’t prepared for. Sierra responded to Steve much the same way I did with Calvin; she was giving in to his will because it just wasn’t worth the fight. “We agreed to dinner, not marriage. It wasn’t that big of a deal. If it makes you happy I won’t go. The guys were kind of dorky anyway.” she agreed with him.
I don’t think he was fully satisfied, but rather than beat the dead horse, he told us, “Get some homework done, I’ll be back to get you guys for dinner.”
Those fucking douche bags. I knew they were sniffing around yesterday morning. Apparently the nonverbal warning Curtis and I gave them wasn’t enough. I could prevent Sierra from going but I couldn’t prevent Hannah from going. Lucky for me, I knew who could and I wasn’t afraid to call him.
“Hey Calvin, it’s Steve.” Within minutes my problem was solved. Hopefully he could convince his sister to cease communication with all the guys that I saw scoping her out. If all else failed, I’d have to rearrange my class schedule.
Sierra and I did just that; I took a break between reading for my English Lit class and doing my Psychology homework to call Calvin back. The first words out of his mouth were quick and to the point, “You will not be going on a date Friday night.”
Talk about confusion, how the hell did he know my plans? “How did you know I had plans for Friday night? Seriously, Cal how did you know that?” He ignored every question I asked about how he knew what my plans were. It was like he couldn’t even hear me talking, unless I was agreeing with him about canceling my Friday night plans. I had already started to question going; I certainly didn’t want to go with Andrew and Blake if Sierra wasn’t going to be there too.
I tried, unsuccessfully, to ask Calvin for reasons he didn’t want me to go. His response was simple, “there is no need to waste your time because neither of those fools are the one.” And with that the conversation was over.