Chapter Eleven

Monica woke in a tangle of sheets. Only, they were shreds. Strips of fabric lay sprawled in every direction like a battlefield. She sighed and swallowed back her tears of frustration. When she looked at her own hands, she wondered when this would stop. The dreams that haunted her, the ones that spurred her semi-shift at night, were always blurs.

She never remembered them when she woke. The only evidence that she had once more relived her change was the state of her bedding. This time, the comforter had fallen to the floor and survived. Rolling out of bed, she yanked the mangled sheets off and waded through the rainbow-colored balls to throw the mess into the trash.

The cycle was never ending. Inevitably, she would dream about the attack that turned her into a shifter. In her restless dream-state, her hands would shift into claws and she would fight back against her attacker. Monica wished she could remember if she won in her dream reality. It would be a small consolation prize for the solitary life it forced her to live.

At the counter, she leaned over the coffee maker while fighting back exhaustion. Getting to sleep had taken the better part of the night after her phone-sex prank. In truth, she’d gotten herself riled up. Despite having been sated by Nikolai’s tongue, the thought of his dick filled her with an intense need. Her core had throbbed for hours as her mind hadn’t been able to escape the image.

The truth was, she’d wanted everything she’d mentioned. She wanted to know what it felt like to run her hands over his skin, to grip the length of him. Desire gnawed at her insides, even when she rolled out of bed and tried to get her day started. No matter what she did, from preparing breakfast to showering, she found her mind filled with images of Nikolai.

The urge to call him and see what he was doing was overwhelming, but she managed to toss her phone onto her bed and leave it behind. There were other things she needed to think about than an Alpha bear and what he might be hiding in his pants.

Monica emailed gallery owners to set up future shows and outlined a series of paintings that she could show at them. Working as a full-time artist meant working nearly all the time, and her pranks with Nikolai had been eating away at her time.

Not to mention the trouble with her own Pack. A few days locked up in her house would do her some good. She would stay out of trouble and, maybe, even get some respect back.

Yet, instead of following her own plans, she went back to her bedroom and grabbed her phone. She didn’t pull up Nikolai’s number, but one she never thought she would call.

The voice on the other end wasn’t as sleepy as Monica would have thought. Regina sounded as though she’d just finished her third cup of coffee, alert and too perky for this hour of the morning.

“What are you doing for lunch today?” Monica didn’t bother with pleasantries.

“I have to work until five, but I could take an extended lunch break if there’s an emergency.” Regina paused. “If you’re calling me, I’m assuming there’s some sort of emergency. Please tell me no one died.”

“No, no one passed away. I just…I need to talk to you about something going on with your pack.”

“Oh, mysterious.” Regina laughed at her own sarcasm. “I work at the Monterey Public Library. Meet me at the crepe café. I’m dying for a strawberry and cream crepe.”

“That sounds a bit…”

“Bougie? It is, and I love it. Meet me there or don’t come at all. I don’t care.”

Monica rolled her eyes. She agreed to meet Regina at the café she specified. She wasn’t sure she had enough money to eat at a place like that, but it would give them the space to chat. That was all she needed.

Monica finished some of her commission work, leaving it to dry and later get a layer of lacquer. Dressed in her worst clothing, a torn and almost see through band tee and a pair of ripped boyfriend jeans that might have come from an ex-lover a decade ago, she collected her bag of spray-paint cans again. This time she had a mission that was less of a prank and more of a message.

It was for the shifter who claimed to be Nikolai’s brother. If he thought he was going to come into the coastal territories and stir up trouble, he was very wrong. Despite the last few months, the packs in this region of California had existed almost peacefully. There’d been a few fights here and there, mostly testosterone fueled explosions, but there’d never been anything like the war that would follow in Alex’s wake.

Monica needed to make sure Alex never came into any sort of power. He was a threat, not only to Nikolai’s pack, but to every pack in the region. There was a wildness about him, a distaste for the rules, that would lead to the worst rule in the history of all the California packs. They’d been lucky up to that point, only dealing with assholes every now and then.

Alex wasn’t just an asshole, but an actual threat.

Regina was already seated when Monica arrived. The shifter was eating her crepe with her eyes closed, a look of bliss on her face. Hazelnut spread and whipped cream escaped the sides of the folded crepe. When Monica glanced at the menu board, she found the prices far more reasonable than she’d expected.

She ordered one for herself, a concoction of spinach and artichoke, and took a seat across from Regina. The red-haired vixen watched Monica, her gaze sharp and cunning. There was no pulling the wool over this woman’s eyes.

Monica was about to launch into why she’d invited Regina but found herself backpedaling. The panther filled her mind with raunchy mages, Nikolai and Regina in compromising situations, until her cheeks warmed, and her hand tightened around her fork.

“Okay, the mood changed. What’s going on?”

Monica blew a breath out her nose. She was blown away by the force of her own jealousy. Over and over, she could tell herself that sex with Nikolai was nothing more than something fun they did. It was the catharsis to their flirtation, only a matter of time until it happened. Not the height of an emotional bond. Yet, her panther had latched onto him.

Regina rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself. Whatever Nikolai and I had was a very long time ago. I can guarantee you that it meant a lot less than what the two of you have now.”

Monica was stunned. Her panther purred with delight, having won the fight, but Monica’s head spun. There was nothing between her and Nikolai. It was a friendship with a bit of flirting. That was all.

Right?

She stared at the table before her, wondering how she was supposed to get herself together when she couldn’t even control her panther. The beast wanted Nikolai, even when he wasn’t around. It purred at the thought of him, so hard that it made Monica’s core throb. Finally, she groaned and let her head hit the table.

“It’s alright,” Regina began.

Monica became aware of another set of footsteps. She heard Regina’s chair scrape against the floor as she pushed it back.

“I’ll just take this to go and leave the two of you alone.” There was a smug tone in Regina’s voice that pulled Monica’s head off the table.

She came face to face with Nikolai as he dropped into the seat across from her. Regina snatched her crepe away from Nikolai, sashaying out the door after waving them goodbye. She even threw a wink in Monica’s direction as the door closed behind her.

“Well, this isn’t what I wanted,” Monica grumbled.

She’d honestly planned on avoiding him for a while. The way he’d taken over her mind after the night before had been too much. She was already lost, adrift in a sea of confusion. Adding their relationship, whatever it was, to the mess only made it worse.

“I believe you owe me an apology,” Nikolai began, setting his chin on his open palm. There was that trademark grin, toothy and cocky. Monica felt the urge to kiss it off his face.

As if summoned by her own lusty thoughts, she remembered sitting on the edge of his couch, his head between her legs as his tongue did wonderfully awful things to her. Her cheeks began to warm, and a smile crossed Nikolai’s face as if he could read her mind. She crossed her legs and did her best to fight back the heat on her cheeks.

“I wanted to talk to Regina.” Monica reiterated.

Nikolai shrugged. “That’s too bad. How about you take that crepe to go and we try this date thing one more time?”

“How about you drag your shifter back here, so I can finish talking to her?” Monica held fast to what she’d wanted, even as what she wanted quickly changed into the man across from her.

“Nah, she has to go back to work. Who am I to screw with her job?”

“Her Alpha.”

He smiled, that cocky grin, and reached to help her out of her seat. She took his hand as if it were second nature. Before she knew it, he tugged her out of the seat and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Her body hummed with desire. What was this? Was it only an unsated need? Or, was it something greater than she’d ever known?

It was hard to tell, as they walked out of the café. Monica knew little about affection and love. The last time she’d felt affection had been at her mother’s side, decades ago. At the time, she’d been human. Life had been difficult, but not quite as dangerous as the world she belonged to now.

It was shameful to think that Oscar’s Pack traded little in affection. There was a solidarity that kept them together, but affection and friendship was unheard of. The thought made her lean closer to Nikolai. It made her crave what little he could offer, as if she could get a taste and then leave. A part of her knew she might never be sated, but she couldn’t keep Nikolai forever.

Could she?

His fingers twined with hers as they walked. He kept his chin high, his eyes ahead, even as his thumb gently rubbed over the back of her hand. Did he crave her affection the way she craved his? Or, was this only a small respite amid the civil war his pack faced?

***

He wanted to see her smile, to hear her laugh, but Monica kept her lips in a thin line as they walked. As much as he struggled, he could find no jokes inside himself that might bring a burst of laughter out of her. It made him ache, made him close to begging.

Still, he held her hand and looked forward. His craving for her had only grown more intense over the night. He’d gripped himself and thought of her, of the things she’d jokingly offered over the phone. The release had helped, but not as much as he would have liked.

Monica still danced through his mind. The shifter of another pack held his heart, whether he liked it or not. He knew he was a fool, but he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. Since her help the night before, a small voice had whispered that she was no longer safe. Even if she was of another pack, Alex knew of her existence. He knew she would help Nikolai.

Nikolai should have been putting together the pieces of his crumbling Pack, but he couldn’t do it while his mind ached for Monica. Perhaps, he’d considered, his mind would work better if he went back to her. If she was nearby, he wouldn’t think of her so much and it would leave room for logical thought.

Of course, he hadn’t thought of his bear. The beast salivated in Monica’s direction. It wanted nothing more than to find a shaded alcove to push her into.

“So, what did you have planned for this date? Because if this is all you had planned, I could be just as happy with the dildo you left in my possession.”

Nikolai hissed. “You wouldn’t use that thing.”

She cocked a brow and smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

His core contracted. “I would be more than happy to serve you again. All you have to do is ask.”

He grinned when her cheeks darkened. It was a beautiful sight, the wine-colored shade of red creeping across her face made him drunk. He could do so much more than make her blush.

“Anyway, this date?”

“You have two choices. We could drive up the coast to Big Sur or we could go back to my place.” He wiggled his brows.

Monica laughed. The sound lifted his soul. It was a breath of fresh air for a man who felt as though he was suffocating. “Shouldn’t you be hunting a certain asshole?”

Nikolai shrugged. For all he cared, Alex could be the death of himself. Surely, the insane shifter would end at his own hand. All Nikolai had to do was wait for it to happen. Then, the shifters who had backed him would come crawling back and Nikolai could properly banish them.

“I have all the time in the world for you.”

She looked away, but he caught the grin on her lips. “Fine. A road trip sounds nice.”