Chapter Fourteen

Nikolai hung up the phone, the plastic groaning beneath his hand until he heard the glass crack. Only then did he let it drop to the table. The beast beneath his skin roared with defiant anger. It wanted to go on a rampage through his own Pack. They needed to be reminded of their place, needed to be brought back down to earth.

Caz had called moments ago. The Monterey Alpha had dire news, his voice dripping with contempt over Nikolai’s situation. Alex and the rest of the unruly shifters were starting trouble in Monterey. They’d started fights with Caz’s shifters. Good men and women were out of commission while Nikolai’s idiots staked their claim over Jefferson Street.

What kind of Alpha couldn’t control their riotous pack?

Nikolai, apparently. He needed to get himself down to Monterey and drag his shifters back home. It was getting tiring, this mess. Part of him wanted to walk away. It was tempting to grab Monica and make a break for the Nevada mountains. He wouldn’t mind a life with her by his side, waking to find her smeared with paint or cackling over some prank she might have pulled.

It was a dream, a vision he held onto while he grabbed his coat. When he threw the door open, the presence of another shifter made him pause.

Brigid turned to face him, hands in the pockets of her denim jacket. There was an apologetic smile on her lips. Her hair was mussed, sticking up at all angles as if she spent the morning gripping and pulling it.

Nikolai stood up straight. The bear whispered to him. Grab her. Punish her. Make her beg for forgiveness. Instead, Nikolai kept his cool. He kept his eyes filled with indifference while he lingered in the doorway. She wouldn’t win, not by getting him riled up. The least he could do was hold onto whatever sanity he had left.

“To what do I owe this visit?” he asked casually, as if he didn’t want to rip her head off.

Brigid shifted from foot to foot, scratching at the back of her neck. How long had it bene since she last shifted? When was the last time Nikolai led a run? The mess he’d created, the mess it had grown into, had kept him from doing the things he was supposed to do as an Alpha. It was his job to lead a run, so his shifters could assume their animal forms under his protection.

He swallowed the sigh of defeat that tried to escape him. Nikolai was trying to get his shit together, to be the kind of man he should have been and not the one his father wanted. That meant he’d let a lot of his duties fall to the wayside. If he’d been a better Alpha, he might have been able to stop the fights on Jefferson Street.

“I came here to confess something,” Brigid began. She looked everywhere other than Nikolai. His gaze was too much for her.

While it brought him joy to know that his defiant shifter was still too submissive to look him in the eye, it also made him want to coddle her. The urge to take the traitor under his wing was nearly overwhelming. He had to jam it back down and keep one foot back, so he didn’t approach her.

Finally, Brigid straightened her spine, showing a bit of the woman who’d broken the mirrors on his truck. “This mess is my fault.”

Nikolai cocked his head to the side. When he said nothing, Brigid struggled to go on. She seemed to trip over her words. Each time she started, she swallowed and shook her head.

“Alex came to me, claiming to be your brother. He said he could give us everything we wanted as long as we followed him. I knew he was trouble, but I could also see that he wasn’t going to face you head on. Alex had been on the edges of the territories, causing trouble for a while. He told me this himself after I agreed to join him.

“He said it was the best way to pull your power out from under you. Mind you, I didn’t want him to become our Alpha. I didn’t want him to have any kind of power. He’s a deranged and highly immoral man, a monster created by your father. One of many mistakes he made. Instead, I wanted to help you stop him.”

Nikolai couldn’t stop the growl that escaped him. The bear pressed against the surface, begging to be released. He could barely contain its anger. “You aren’t exactly filling me with confidence. If I had to guess, I’d say you were lying to save your own ass right now.”

Brigid let out an uneasy laugh. “It would sure seem like it, right? The methods I’ve used weren’t the smartest, but I stand by my convictions.”

A long moment passed, and Nikolai was forced to ask. “What convictions?”

“If you can’t put him out of his misery, how else can you fix your father’s mistakes? How else can you be better than him?” Brigid’s words struck a nerve in Nikolai.

All this time he’d thought she was turning against him when all this time she’d been testing him. Brigid had found his father’s monstrosity and brought him to Nikolai’s feet, as if to point out his father’s faults and say, will you become better than him?

He wanted to rage against Brigid, against her foolhardy moves and brash tones. Still, she had a point. All this time, Nikolai wondered who he was. At times, he was his father’s son. It was nothing more than an echo of a person, a shadow cast by a man who felt so much bigger than him. In the quiet moments, in between control and chaos, he found himself slipping into nothing. Where there should be a soul on fire, there was nothing more than the whisper of wind in an empty place.

Each step he took forward, closer to Monica, closer to his Pack, he felt a little less lost.

Brigid’s arms were crossed over her chest, her chin jutted out as she waited for an answer. Nikolai searched for one, for a nugget of the man he was supposed to be when he realized he could be anyone he wanted.

Such as the man he’d been all along. If his goals had been his father’s, his methods had been his own. Slowly, Nikolai let out a breath. When he pulled it back in, he felt reinvigorated. He’d been his own man all along.

Behind her, faces came into focus. While they’d been talking, the Pack had arrived. They stood on the ground and looked up at Nikolai with hope in their eyes. He noted the few faces that were missing, not too surprised. He was more startled by the number of shifters that had arrived in a show of support. They cared enough to save their own Pack.

They cared about him, too.

He raised his chin, trying to summon the spark of leadership he knew should be there. “Brigid, you’re demoted.”

Her jaw dropped. He gave her a challenging look. Try me, it said. Finally, her lips nothing more than a grim line, she nodded. He knew he would have to put his truck in the garage later. He couldn’t afford new mirrors again. What would he tell the insurance company?

“And next time you consider using me as an exterminator, consult me first. I know he’s my father’s mistake, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the one to put him down. You’ve made your own packmates unsafe by summoning Alex here. Sure, you helped expose others who wanted to move against me, but I should cast you out the same way I’m going to cast them out.”

This time, Brigid opened her mouth to argue. One look from Nikolai, with a touch of his Alpha power thrown in, had her closing it again. He wouldn’t hear her side of the argument. Just like he’d acknowledged that his fight for the sealskin and the coast had been stupid, Brigid would need to come to terms with the same. Neither could argue their way toward righteousness.

“What do we do now?" The voice came from another packmate.

Nikolai tried to find it in the small crowd of faces, what was left of his Pack. They watched him with desperation, but behind it was something else. It cut him in half, making the world seem to wobble beneath his feet. There was trust and admiration in their gazes. He didn’t’ deserve it, not after the monster he’d been.

Yet, faced with a greater monster, they saw Nikolai for the man he wanted to be. He became their protector, their friend. He cast a sidelong glance at Brigid. While he was grateful for her results, he hated her methods. She only gave a tight-lipped smile in return.

Becoming Alpha was a thing he’d never questioned. All his life, Nikolai knew he was being groomed for the position. His father had been Alpha and he, too, would rise to the job. Nikolai reveled in the power, in the way it made him feel, but he knew the Pack his father had given him was a bit of a mess. The situation they were in had only been a matter of time, he guessed.

The fact that Brigid’s meddling and Alex’s appearance had been the catalyst didn’t take away from the fact that his father had bred a hunger in his Pack. They hungered for power, in all forms. Honestly, Nikolai was surprised they hadn’t taken to killing each other yet. He could guess that was only because of his own presence.

Up until his failure in gaining the coastal territory, his Pack hadn’t thought of crossing him. His strength and posturing had been enough. There were some, of course, who loved him. He protected them and allowed them to live the simple lives they craved. Those were the people he loved in return.

Nikolai sighed, dusted off his pants, and rose to the challenge. It was time to make this Pack one that meant more than just power. If the rebel shifters couldn’t see what that was worth, he would run their asses into the Nevada mountains.

As he walked away from Brigid and her confession, Nikolai thought of Monica. His bear craved her, happy to think of her instead of focusing on the task at hand. He knew the bear would rise to the moment when Alex finally challenged him, but until then, the bear was obsessed with Monica. He couldn’t help but wonder if…

No, he thought. That wasn’t right. Monica was a distraction. As much as he liked her, it was probably amplified by the fact that the rest of his life was crumbling between his fingers. Once he rebuilt his life and his Pack, the bear would return to its senses.

She belonged to Oscar Torres, and if he knew one thing it was to never cross Oscar. Nikolai knew what happened to the gangs that used to run wild on the streets of Santa Cruz. He would never subject his Pack to that kind of brutal fury.

His heart clenched at the thought of leaving Monica in Oscar’s hands, as if she were some sort of possession. His breath shuddered, lips quivering. The bear roared with a wild vengeance. Okay, perhaps it wasn’t just an infatuation that had him returning to Monica over and over again. The bear dug its claws into Nikolai’s soul, pushing deeper and deeper. He shouldered the pain with a grimace.

He could tell himself lies all day, but the bear would always remind him of the truth. What he really wanted was to keep Monica out of the mess he’d created. The thought of bringing her into this, of allowing Alex anywhere near her, terrified him. The bear dug deeper and deeper. A sharp panic consumed both of them when he thought of Alex stepping anywhere near Monica.

***

Her panther writhed beneath her skin. It had been a few days since Monica let her out, and Oscar hadn’t called a Pack meeting in a few days. Usually, Monica would have waited for the run after the Pack meeting to shift, but she could feel her skin starting to ache. Her joints hurt with the effort of holding the beast inside.

Huffing a sigh, she yanked the headphones from her ears and tossed aside the paintbrush that she’d been holding. She flexed her fingers and tried to will the beast back down. When she closed her eyes, she could envision its tail flicking with annoyance. The beast wanted out. It wanted to run.

And, Monica knew which direction it would run.

With a groan, she let her head fall onto the table, uncaring of the paint splattered across it. The panther missed Nikolai. Monica told herself he was busy, that he would call when he wasn’t busy. Part of her was afraid she’d turned him off with her last joke. Once he realized he probably wasn’t getting laid, he’d given up. That was the only reason that made any sense.

Then again, he had a mess on his hands. His pack was falling prey to a charlatan. The worm slipped into Nikolai’s pack and whispered things that made them revolt. He was poison in the water.

“Well, you’re a talented little kitty,” a familiar voice said.

Monica shot up from her seat. Her brushes clattered to the floor while her heart hammered. Alex grinned from the open garage door. She cursed herself for the giant weak point. Anyone could walk right into her studio whenever they wanted. She found herself wishing it’d been Red or Jorge. At least then, she would have been able to pick a fight to release some of the pent-up frustration inside her.

Picking a fight with Alex seemed like a bad idea. The grin on his face seemed hungry, as if he might eat her alive. She shuddered.

“It stinks of chemicals in here, but I can still smell my brother above it all. His scent is all over you.”

Monica opened her mouth, but quickly closed it again. She’d showered since seeing Nikolai, several times in fact. She shouldn’t smell like him at all.

“Here’s the deal,” Alex began. He pushed off the door frame and sauntered forward. His swagger filled the empty space, making him seem bigger than he actually was. When he was within touching distance, he reached and grabbed her chin. His touch was delicate but controlling, giving her no room to move away. “I need to show my brother why I was meant to lead and not him. You’re going to help me do that.”

Insults rose to her lips, but she pressed them shut. This was not the time to mouth off.

“How about you bring that little kitty out to play and come with me? Nikolai is going to have his hands full here soon, so he won’t have time to play with you like I will.”

So, she thought, this was a kidnapping attempt. She was flattered that Alex thought she meant that much to Nikolai. It put her relationship with the Alpha bear into perspective. Maybe he hadn’t called her back, but she still meant enough to him for this guy to try to kidnap her.

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Monica said. She was part of Oscar Torres’ Pack. There was no way this packless shifter was going to make her do anything she didn’t want. Her core quaked at the thought of the repercussions, but she was willing to face them.

Her hand slid across the table behind her. Her cellphone was there, somewhere, she just had to find it before Alex saw what she was doing.

His grin warped into a snarl. The hand on her chin tightened, nails biting into her skin. She couldn’t back away. There was no way to wrench herself from his grip. If she could dial any Pack number, she could get help. At least, she hoped she could. Her Pack hadn’t exactly shown her any love lately. Would they leave her to die for meddling in the affairs of other packs?

Red and Jorge would say that was what she deserved.

Her heart plummeted.

Monica couldn’t rely on her Pack. She had to figure this out on her own. Her years on Oscar’s Pack might not have held much in the way of love and affection, but it did teach her to be strong. She slid one foot back, giving herself a stronger stance. Alex wasn’t going to bully her into a corner.

“Do you think I’m playing around? I have a pack at stake here. Now, shift.” His words were threaded with the power of an Alpha. He dominated her with it, making her panther twist and writhe in pain.

Her whole body screamed in agony as she fought against it. The sound of her teeth grinding in her ears returned, nearly drowning out the thunder of her heart. This shifter would not best her. She refused to be brought low by him. In her heart, she knew she was stronger than him. It was more than bodily power, more than the magic he tried to use against her.

She had willpower. It was what helped her survive the first years after the change, what helped her throw herself into her art. Hell, it was what allowed her to turn her back on her own Alpha and help Lia. Monica was so much more than just a lowly shifter.

“Shift, damn it!” Alex tried again, screaming with whatever power he could muster.

This time, it did nothing. Monica stared up into the wild man’s face with defiance. His growl should have terrified her. It should have made her stomach churn and her pulse race, but she was finished with him. Monica would be the mate of an Alpha and nothing less. What made this man think he could bully her?

“Get out of my studio,” she said, calmly.

Alex still gripped her chin. She could feel small beads of blood welling on her skin from where his nails pierced the flesh. The pain was refreshing, helping to further clear her mind. She let out a breath, feeling her heart grow steady.

Her panther thought of Nikolai. The Alpha bear would have been proud of her. Would Oscar have been proud? Perhaps only in the sense that she was his Pack, and she proved his Pack was strong. Nikolai would have kissed her silly for her show of strength. The thought warmed her.

“What are you smiling for?”

Monica hadn’t realized she was smiling. She hadn’t even realized when she stopped grinding her teeth. It felt good, she thought, to finally come into herself. Her gaze moved past Alex. She could hear his triumphant sound, as if he thought she couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. Instead of failing at the dominance fight, Monica was distracted by her art.

Each piece held glimpses of the uncertain woman she’d been. Excitement poured through her. Monica had found a new part of herself, and she couldn’t wait to see what it would create.

“You’re smiling again. What do you have to smile about?”

She looked back to him, unflinching when her eyes met his. “The fact that I’m stronger than you. Always have been. Always will be.”

This wasn’t working out as he planned. She could tell from the fury that warped his face. His hand snapped back, only to strike. Monica slid out of his reach. His claws raked through the painting she’d been working on. It sucked to be set back on a commission, but she could start again as long as she survived this encounter.

“You’re not actually Nikolai’s brother,” Monica told him. “You’re a mistake made by his father. You aren’t his heir, but a little dickhead that happened into some power.”

Alex whipped toward her, his growl filling the air.

Monica needed to be smart about this before he trashed her entire studio. She didn’t have the time to re-paint all of her current commissions and money was tight enough as it was. Trying to be smart, she darted toward the open door. Alex wouldn’t hurt her out in the open, not in her little cul-de-sac. Before she could make it onto the street, Alex snatched her wrist.

He spun her around. Monica tried to fight against his grip, but she was too weak. Even with her shifter strength, she was no match for the strength of a man. It was frustrating, but she knew how to win. She was smarter than him, more patient. Alex was a firecracker, ready to go off at any moment. He thought the world should bow at his feet. He knew nothing about working for his place in life.

Monica had fought to survive. She’d struggled to make ends meet, in her human life and her shifter life. She glanced up, at the rolls of canvas strapped to the ceiling. They rested on a pair of flimsy wooden beams. There was a rope tied to the end of one roll so that she could pull it down without having to find her ladder. A smile touched her lips when she realized her plan.

“There you go again! What do you have to smile about? Whatever. You’re coming with me.” He tugged her along, but she dug in her heels.

Her panther pressed close to the surface, lending its power to Monica’s plan. She felt the hand behind her back rippling with that tingling, sleeping limb feeling. Moments later, claws pressed into her palm when she flexed her fingers.

“I said, let’s go!”

This time, she stopped fighting back and let him yank her toward him. She lashed out with her clawed hand and raked it over his face. He howled with pain, rearing back to cover the wounds with his hands. The neighbors had to have heard that.

She jumped toward the rope hanging from the ceiling and pulled with all her strength. It came crashing down just as she jumped away. The heavy roll hit Alex on the head, taking him to the floor with it. Monica used the moment to run.