Chapter Eight

After the phone call the night before, things started to click into place for Monica. Nikolai’s distance, Regina’s reluctance to talk. It was clear their Pack was going through something and Monica thought Nikolai might be at the center of it.

Each Pack was dealing with the fallout of their small war over Lia in its own way. Oscar said little about the loss, but she could see how her fellow Packmates looked at her. They blamed her for that loss even though it’d been Nikolai that snatched Lia’s skin, not Oscar. What was it that Nikolai’s pack was going through after they’d thought themselves so close to a territory expansion?

Monica, with her black hair in a tangle and a toasted bagel in one hand, prepared her studio for a new project. The bagel was quickly forgotten once she lost herself in the sketch filling her mind. It wasn’t a naked Nikolai, but it did involve him. The project was huge, she acknowledged, but it might help whatever he was going through.

“What are you doodling?” Nikolai’s voice came from nowhere.

She leapt from her seat, flipping the sketchbook over so that he couldn’t see. Pressing her hand over her racing heart, she willed it to settle as she watched Nikolai laugh. The smile on his face helped push away he anger that’d risen through her. She found herself smiling along with him.

“What are you doing here?” Monica moved to sit on top of her sketchbook so that there was no chance he’d turn it over and see what she’d been working on. It was a surprise—not even half finished.

Nikolai scratched the back of his head. His eyes were distant, as if dealing with something she couldn’t see. She wanted to stand and move toward him, touch him and see if the look faded. Instead, she stayed where she was, keeping her distance.

“Honestly, I didn’t want to be alone. There’s been…” His brows furrowed. “Well, a lot has been going down and I wanted a little diversion. If you’re interested, I brought coffee.”

Her stomach growled in response, yelling at her for forgetting the breakfast she’d made. The bagel was now stale and cold, probably ready for the trashcan. She looked at it mournfully before her gaze switched to Nikolai. Her hunger for him replaced her physical hunger in an instant. It hit her so hard that she only blinked.

Nikolai hadn’t seen her reaction, focused on the foam cup in his hand. “I hope you’re not like Nessa and prefer it cold.”

She accepted the cup, trying to let its warmth fill the parts of her that hungered for Nikolai. Needless to say, it didn’t work. She took a few testing sips, found it still too warm and set it aside.

While she sat atop her sketchbook, Nikolai glanced around her studio. He took in everything, from canvases hanging out of reach to shelves filled with paint tubes and spray-paint cans. There was a look of wonder on his face that made her stomach tighten. It was as if he saw through her, saw to her soul, and found it mesmerizing.

“I had no idea you were capable of so much. This is beautiful.” He stepped closer to her, still scanning the paintings. There was everything from fluid paintings flecked with veins of gold to expressive graffiti-style works.

“The change was rough for me. My panther has a strong voice, so I found it difficult to find my humanity while she was in control. Oscar helped me. He put a spray-paint can in my hand and let me have at the outside of his house. After I filled those walls, he gave me a paint brush and a few wrapped canvases.

“There was no stopping me after that. Oscar was smart and grabbed a few mural commissions for me. He started my career. I can’t say it pays well, but it does make me happy.”

Nikolai’s brows flattened. “It sounds like you and Oscar are pretty close.”

Monica didn’t know how to describe the ocean that had opened between them since joining Oscar’s Pack. It was as if she no longer existed to him. His eyes moved over her paintings like they weren’t even there.

When Nikolai finally tore his gaze from her work, he looked to her. The hunger in his eyes was clear. It stole the breath from her lungs, made her heart leap. In a moment, he was before her. There was a viciously desperate expression on his face, like the space between them hurt. Like he was starving, and Monica was the only thing that could sate him.

She shuddered. He placed his hands on the counter, trapping her where she was. His face hovered over hers so that their breaths mingled. Monica tilted her head, exposing her neck to him. His breath fell over her skin, and she let out a small moan.

Slowly, maddeningly slowly, Nikolai touched his lips to the skin of her shoulder, revealed by her crooked shirt. Her moan deepened as the sensation shot through her body. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt, and she had to grip his arms to keep herself from melting right then and there. He growled into her skin. The sound rippled over her. She should have feared the sound from the Alpha of another pack, but her body answered with moisture between her legs.

His breath hitched. With a grunt, he grabbed her and pulled her into his body. They came together, a near perfect fit if it hadn’t been for the obvious need between his legs. Monica swallowed and lifted her head. Their lips crashed together. The moment her lips parted, Nikolai’s tongue delved into her mouth.

She let him feed from her, sating the hunger that consumed both of them. Yanking his shirt from the waist of his pants, her hands drifted along the muscles of his back. Her touch was featherlight, creeping along his skin. He shuddered and moaned into her.

“Why do I want this—you—so damn bad?” He framed her face with both his hands.

Monica pressed her eyes shut, her insides churning. All the years she’d spent as a shifter, she’d known one thing. The place beside Oscar belonged to her. Now, Nikolai pressed against her body and ignited things she’d never felt before. His presence set her skin on fire. His touch was an electrical storm. His grin, that sharp-toothed grin, destroyed her.

Finally, she found the strength to extract herself, stepping away from him and her perch. Nikolai grasped air, the muscles of his jaw working. She could see the fire echoed in his eyes and what it took not to follow her after she pulled away.

She shook her head. “I don’t think…” The panther purred in her mind, cutting through her thoughts. She took a breath to try to reorganize her mind. “I don’t think this is smart. Our packs are a mess. As it is, everyone already thinks I’m a traitor.”

Nikolai growled. He took a small step forward and stopped himself. “For what?”

“What do you think, genius? Helping Lia get her skin back from your dumb ass.”

His face fell. It crumpled into a look of shame before he ran his hands over it.

“I made the decision to help. Don’t go blaming yourself.” Monica stood with her spine straight.

“Yeah, but I was the idiot who grabbed her sealskin while she and Miles were bumping uglies in the sand.”

Monica choked on her laugh, eyes going wide with surprise. “That’s how you got it? That’s a new low, even for you.”

His eyes dropped to the place she’d been sitting, to the sketchbook she’d tried to hide with her body. Lightning quick, she darted forward and snatched it away from his reaching hand. Monica bit her lip and hid it behind her back.

Nikolai’s eyes sparked with a cunning light. His grin returned. “What do you have behind your back? Another clever prank?”

“Hush. Not everything is about you,” Monica said as she jammed the sketchbook onto a higher shelf. “It’s a commission for a client that they asked to keep secret.”

“How would you feel about lunch? I think it’s about that time. All I know is that I’m starving.” The hunger on his face was not for food.

Things inside Monica twisted with need. Her own hunger returned, ready for Nikolai. It was almost too strong, but she found the will to resist it and stepped out of reach again. He wasn’t the one for her, she told herself. She’d decided to get Oscar’s attention and it would never work if she was under Nikolai.

Her throat tightened, her body rebelling at her mind’s decision. The panther hissed and swiped at her from the inside. Pain slashed through her body. She couldn’t help but wince, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

“I don’t think lunch is a good idea. We should probably stop meeting like this.”

Nikolai spun away from her and ran his hand through his hair, undoing the tie it’d been held in. She thought she imagined the growl she heard until he turned back. His jaw was tight, lips pulled into an angry grimace. She felt the need to step toward him, a magnet in her stomach yanking her forward. Somehow, she held her place.

This wasn’t her mate. He wasn’t meant for her, no matter her own lust. He needed to see that, too. No matter what was between them, they each had their own paths and Monica was sure they didn’t intersect. She looked away, glancing to where she’d hidden the sketchbook and gathered her will.

Later, she would rip up the sketch and let Nikolai work on his own problems. They’d all made their own beds and there was no reason to make them worse. Oscar would never love her if she made herself available to every Alpha she came across. Nikolai would never earn the trust of his pack if he dallied with a girl from another pack.