Cat woke slowly, shielding her eyes from the sun pouring in from the windows. Useless curtains lay open, and Cat cursed herself for not closing the blue fabric last night. Yet when she glanced at them, she saw they were a slate gray.
Disoriented, she rubbed her eyes, wary of the strange surroundings. The room was much bigger than her own, a massive king-size four-poster bed made of dark wood taking up a large portion of it. A dresser of the same color was set against a wall with a large silver-framed mirror. Two doors were off to her left, and she assumed one was a closet and the other was a bathroom.
You’re in Killian’s room, she reminded herself.
The ache between her legs reminded her of why she had been in there in the first place. Oh God.
Cat threw herself back onto the red satin pillows, picked one up, covered her face with it, and let loose a muffled scream. Last night had been overwhelming with sensations. Killian hadn’t lied when he said he would keep her up all night. He explored her everywhere, knew all her hidden zones that drove her wild. He used them, over and over again, pushing her over the edge, and enjoyed every minute of it.
She had made promises to him. He had whispered promises to her. Promises she couldn’t keep.
Cat could still feel his hot breath on her skin, the way his hair tickled between her thighs as he caused her to writhe beneath the ministrations of his tongue. His rough hands as he squeezed her hips to drive deeper.
Embarrassment flooded her face, and Cat buried herself beneath the blankets. She would stay there all day, ignore him when he came—
Which probably would work if she wasn’t in his room. She let out a groan. No way could Cat avoid him now. Maybe she could sneak into her room and hide away there.
Her stomach complained. Loudly. Rolling her eyes at her traitorous body, she looked at the clock on the nightstand. One in the afternoon! No wonder she was so hungry! Which meant she was going to have to go downstairs and face the man who had seen her naked and vulnerable. And she had let him. Maybe she’d be lucky and he would be up in his office doing paperwork.
Killian wouldn’t mention it anyway. Cat had only promised the night, and she was out of his system now. They had sated each other’s needs more times than she could count, so there was no way they would still have those ridiculous reactions just by looking at each other. She would walk into that kitchen, head raised high, and know they were done. Because she was leaving.
Her wolf growled menacingly, and Cat shushed her. You be quiet. That was the deal, so stop it. The animal curled up in her mind, but Cat sensed the big fuck you.
Cat jumped off the bed and went to her own room to shower and change. She dressed carefully, telling herself it wasn’t because she’d run into Killian. The man had seen her naked, for God’s sake. As if he would care what she wore. Yet she still took the time to pick out a beautiful pair of dark jeans—which she happened to know hugged her rear end very well—and a comfortable light-blue sweater with an open back.
She jogged down the stairs, carried by the scent awaiting her in the kitchen. Somebody had made sandwiches. She didn’t even bother scenting out who it was, because only two people used Killian’s kitchen, and Cat really hoped it was the portly brunette with the kind eyes, not the smoldering Alpha.
“Oh God, that smells delicious. I’m starving.” Cat laughed as she passed the doorway.
What met her was a whole hell of a lot more than just Kelly or Killian. Everyone, the whole pack, sat at the table, plates emptied of all but crumbs, and stared at Cat. They looked like they had been waiting for her to come down. Her stomach clenched. She was going to throw up, right there in front of everyone. Her hands trembled, so she clasped them together as she paused and stared at the group.
What the hell?
Killian chuckled at Cat’s nervousness, and she hated him for it. She had the urge to punch him in the face. He didn’t realize that although she needed to leave, deep down she didn’t want to. She wanted these people in her life, and here they were with…smiles on their faces?
Jamie’s eyebrows rose considerably as he took in a deep breath to take in her scent. Oh crap, they know. Finn, with his fatherly appearance and graying hair, smiled and wrapped an arm over the back of Kelly’s chair, who also grinned stupidly. Cat avoided Jessica’s eyes altogether, not wanting to see the hurt in them from their fight, but Aurelia was a little hard to miss. She sat next to Jessica, arms folded together and her red-painted lip raised as if snarling. The scar on her face crinkled menacingly, and Cat relished the thought that she had pissed the redhead off so much.
“Seriously?” Lia hissed, but an elbow to her ribs from Jessica stopped anything else she was going to say.
“Nice of you to join us, Catrina. Didn’t know if you were going to make it down here before sundown.” Killian hid his smile behind the napkin he used to wipe his mouth.
Going to play it cool, huh? Well, two can play that game.
Cat cleared her throat and sat at the other open chair next to Killian’s, where a plate with two sandwiches on it sat. It didn’t pass her notice that Finn usually sat in it because he was technically the third in rank—she just chose to ignore it. She could sense the tenseness in the room despite their friendly faces, like they were unsure of Cat. The usually easygoing family was worried about her.
After she plopped down rather dramatically, she looked at Killian with a raised eyebrow.
“I had a late night.” After her first bite, she could tell Killian had made the sandwich. She didn’t want to admit it, but he always made them the way she loved: a little too much mustard, thick slices of turkey, and two dense pieces of cheese on a sweet bread. He skipped out on all the veggies, knowing she hated them. She rolled her eyes—ever the theatric actress—and smiled at her audience. “This is so good!”
Kelly covered her laugh with a cough and the back of her hand. Eyes twinkling with mirth, she stood from the table, picking up everybody else’s plates to busy herself.
Killian cleared his throat, giving Cat a knowing look. His lips tilted into a small smile before he straightened it out. He looked around the table as his packmates shifted nervously in their chairs, putting Cat even more on edge. After a night like last night, was he really going to push for her to leave as soon as possible? Were his attempts to make her stay only a ploy to convince her to come to bed with him?
Cat wondered as she chewed. The whole pack was here, which was highly unusual for the middle of the day on a weekday. It meant there was going to be a meeting, and she knew it had something to do with her.
She knew it would kill her when the time came to go. This pack had become everything to her, and it was all thanks to Killian. She wanted to kill him and kiss him for it. She wanted to thank him every day for pulling her out of that cage and giving her a chance to fight, but now everybody was pushing her to stay; forget everything in her past had ever happened. If Cat committed to being pack, it would wreck her. Killian could get her to do it, and that scared the shit out of her. After Cat took the last bite, her plate was swept from in front of her by Kelly’s hasty hands.
Finally, Killian spoke through the awkward silence. “So, I called the whole pack this morning to come here so we could talk about a couple things regarding your situation, Cat.”
Cat bit her tongue to keep a sarcastic obviously from shooting out of her mouth and chose instead to just scan the somber faces. Aurelia, more irritated from the innuendos, stared out the kitchen window. Cat even looked at Jessica, who was sitting with Mia in her lap. She had sad eyes, droopy and reflecting the same pain Cat carried in her heart. She pursed her lips and nodded at Cat in acknowledgment.
“We think you should stay here,” Killian stated firmly.
Cat whipped her head back to look at Killian, whose mouth was tense with stress and his eyes serious. Was she surprised? Absolutely not. They had been bugging her unrelentingly to stay. But to have brought it out in such a situation to put stress on her—now that wasn’t going to fly.
She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in the chair, both as a way to show nonchalance and to cover her shaking hands. She wanted this. Yet she couldn’t.
“Look—” Cat began, only to be cut off by Killian raising a hand to stop her.
“Listen before you shut us down,” he commanded.
Cat’s mouth snapped shut. Fury simmered within her, a steady burn in her stomach threatening to overflow. How dare he?
Killian nodded when he saw she wasn’t going to be saying more, and leaned back in his chair, his arms crossing over his chest in imitation. Yet he didn’t seem calm and relaxed as Cat was trying to portray. His muscles strained beneath his white T-shirt, and he clenched his teeth. His expression completely contradicted his posture. Fire burned in his eyes, and was that a glimmer of fear Cat saw?
Cat wanted to jump in his lap and nuzzle under his jaw with her nose. Ease away that pressure brimming underneath his surface. And she also wanted to stomp on his bare toes for thinking he could boss her around.
“We want to help you.” When she opened her mouth again, Killian’s eyes narrowed. Cat dug her fingers into her arms and ground her teeth, narrowing her eyes in return. “We want to. Do you understand? I haven’t told the pack anything about your past yet. But they don’t care what it is. Over the past month, you have become a part of us whether you like it or not.
“You have, repeatedly, told us that you don’t want to be pack, but I don’t think you fully understand what we’re offering. We don’t want to restrict you on what you have planned—we just want to help.”
Cat finally couldn’t take it. She shifted forward in her seat and gripped the edge of the table.
“I can’t let you guys do that. I have no idea what is out there,” she bit out. Cat’s hands shook on the edge of the table. This was what she wanted, so why was she resisting? Fear sent shivers down her spine. How could this family put themselves in that sort of unpredictable danger?
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not letting us, then. We’re telling you,” Killian snapped, going full Alpha. He had shifted to leaning forward in his seat too, pressure building in the room with his anger. The other people at the table moved in their chairs, and uneasiness came off in palpable waves from their bodies.
“Oh you’re telling me, huh?” Cat mocked. “Since when do you tell me what to do, big bad Alpha? Just because I’ve wandered around here for the past month and pretended to listen does not mean you can order me around like I’m some submissive little bitch!”
Killian’s eyes widened, and if it weren’t for the anger fueling Cat, she would have noticed that every person in the room gasped. She had just yelled at him, challenged his command in front of his pack. She had said she would play along, and there went the game.
Slowly, Killian stood. His presence became heavier, suffocating the room. Fury blazed like embers within his eyes. The whole pack held their breath, and even Jamie sank lower in his seat under Killian’s menacing gaze.
“You will not challenge me in front of my pack, Catrina Macintyre,” he said, his lips barely moving. How he could be so quiet yet sound so loud in the silent room was definitely some sort of Alpha trick. Even Cat was affected. “I am still Alpha here. As I was saying, like it or not, you have become part of this pack—”
“Why? Because we fucked?” Cat interrupted. Her voice came out a lot shriller than she had hoped. The way he was looking at her was so frightening; she felt at any moment he would snap.
His eyes narrowed to two golden slits, and he clenched his fists at his sides, still towering over her. Cat stayed sitting, heavy with the weight of his anger.
“This has nothing to do with that.”
Cat scoffed. “Oh really? Because you weren’t all high and mighty, bossing me around until this morning.”
Was that really it? Did he think that just because he had screwed her brains out the night before, he had some sort of power over her? Yes, he was delicious, and Cat would love nothing more than to drag him on this table and bite that strained lower lip. He was furious, and scary, but it only made him all the hotter. That menacing and overpowering vibe definitely worked for him. But she had seen his eyes close with immeasurable pleasure just a couple of hours ago.
“Dammit, Cat! I don’t want you to leave! We don’t want you to leave! Let us fucking help you! Put down your pride for ten fucking seconds and look at the people who want nothing more than to call you family.” His fist slammed on the heavy oak table, sending fruit flying from the bowl in the middle. An orange rolled toward Finn, but nobody reached out to grab it, and it dropped off, forgotten and lonesome on its journey across the floor.
Cat huffed out a heavy breath and glanced at everyone. All their faces bore similar expressions: staring with wide eyes at the two of them arguing, mouths lax with shock, and slightly slumped in their seats. Could she blame them? No. It probably wasn’t every day somebody screamed at their leader. Even Aurelia sat flabbergasted, her perfectly manicured nails biting into the flesh of her jean-clad thighs. I bet that’s one person who hopes I leave. Though the redhead didn’t give the slightest sign of joy at the moment.
A movement at the table caused Cat to turn. Jessica passed Mia over to Brian, who took her gratefully and grabbed a small tablet from a diaper bag to distract the wide-eyed child. But Jessica stretched her arms to Cat, her hands shaking; from fear or the power of Killian, Cat didn’t know. Cat swallowed the heavy ball lodged in her throat, which was suddenly dry as she looked at Jessica’s warm expression. Her friend’s hand grabbed Cat’s. Her grip was strong and soft, but Cat just kept looking at her friend’s face. The one she had hurt just the night before.
“Listen, Cat. Please just listen to him.” Jessica glanced at Killian, who still stood next to Cat exhaling on heavy, panting breaths.
Cat swallowed again and glanced back and forth between the pack and Killian, who stood tall and rigid. He glared at her, the expression in his eyes begging and commanding at the same time.
“It’s not pride—” Her voice came out on a crack, her resolve breaking with just that small touch from Jessica and the look on Killian’s face. Kelly still stood in the kitchen, and when Cat looked her way, she gave a small nod and a reassuring smile. So Cat repeated herself. “It’s not pride stopping me. You all have something here. You have family. A home. A place and people to protect. How can I ask you to help me go after something that could ruin all that? You don’t even know what I’m looking for.”
Jamie coughed, and it dragged Cat’s focus toward him. He leaned back in his chair, staring at Cat with warmth and understanding.
“Tell us then, kitten,” he stated simply.
Cat’s chest tightened. This pretty much changed everything. She didn’t have to choose between the pack and her parents; they were willing to help her and join her. A family. A pack, united and on a mission together. Tears pricked behind her eyes, and Cat closed her lids before she could let them loose. Was she really going to have a family again?
She buried her face in her hands, her whole body shaking. Her heart was deciding for her, and her wolf whined inside because it wanted nothing more than to be with these people. But her mind said no. It wouldn’t be right to involve them. Go on alone and face your own battles. Yet Cat didn’t think she had the strength to do it by herself.
So with her body and her voice shaking, her head buried in her hands and the whole pack listening, she told her story. She would let them join her. Correction, she wouldn’t run away from them. Cat needed them, not the other way around.
As she told the story, Killian sat beside her, comforting her with his warmth. He rubbed those damn circles around her back, trying to soothe and relax her. The words poured out of her like vomit, distasteful and draining but relieving. She wasn’t sure when the tears started, but soon the sobs racked her body…
* * * *
The banging increased in intensity, sending the sound of trembling hinges down the secret basement stairs. How much more could the door withstand before giving in to the excessive pounding? Cat’s blood chilled to ice. She shivered as her father yelled at someone in a language she couldn’t understand.
“Catrina, you need to hide. Sit here and don’t make a sound.” Cat’s mother stood in the basement door, shooting nervous glances to the top of the stairs. “Do you understand, honey?”
“No, Mama. What’s going on? Who is that?” The fear locked in her mother’s eyes scared her more than the ruckus above. She clenched her mother’s hands for comfort.
“I can’t explain it to you. I hoped there would be time, but…just listen to me, okay? You have to stay here. Don’t come out of this basement, no matter what you hear. Once they’re gone, change and don’t come back here ever again. I don’t want you to change back until you find safety. Do you understand?” Her mother brushed hair back from Cat’s face. Tears trickled down her mother’s pale cheeks, and Cat swallowed through the burn in her throat. Her mother rarely cried.
“Wait, Mom, please…” Why did she sound like she was saying good-bye? “Come down here with me. Papa can scare them away, right?” Tears flowed from her eyes, and sobs racked her body. She tugged at her mom’s hand, trying to pull her inside the basement door. They would be hidden once Papa slid the bookcase in front of the second door at the top of the stairs.
“God, I’m so sorry. Just know that we love you. Be safe, my princess.” Her mom kissed her fiercely on the forehead, held her in a tight hug, then shoved Cat inside and shut the door. The lock clicked, and Cat stood there in shock.
The floor above vibrated as something crashed. Cat jumped, moving away from the door. The yelling increased in tempo and volume. Her mother joined, her voice angrier than Cat had ever heard in her life. Dust sprinkled into the basement from the ceiling. First here, then there, in a pattern following the intruder’s footsteps as they moved around the house. Vicious snarls erupted. More loud bangs sounded, like furniture being thrown around the room. Or bodies.
As glass and wood cracked above her, she pictured the china cabinet slamming to the ground and their family pictures shattering into fragments.
Her wolf begged to escape its confines and protect those she loved from the person who dared intrude into their territory. Her fear burned away, melting into the ravenous beast of fury. But her mother had given an order. Urgency dug at her, crying to be released but held back by the command. Cat let out a low whine and fell to her knees, torn between instinct and sense.
The banging ceased as abruptly as it started, and silence followed. The creaks of footsteps sounded over Cat’s loud breathing. She covered her mouth with her hand for quiet and breathed out of her nose. Adrenaline coursed through her body, but she remained still, wondering what would happen next. The effort to slow her anxious breathing caused a slicing pain in her rib cage, but fear kept her quiet.
Then the screaming started.
The call of pain that erupted from her father tore through her heart. A man should never make such a sound. The escalating noise resounded with intense pain, bringing Cat’s tears to the surface again. She squeezed her eyes shut in horror.
He screamed for a long, agonizing minute before it trailed into a whimper. The man in the room yelled in a different language, and after a pregnant silence, her father’s scream began again. The tormentor let out a shrill, excited laugh as if in enjoyment at the pain he inflicted. Her father’s agony echoed through Cat. The stranger said something, and her father let out a ferocious growl.
“No! Erica!” her father screamed, his voice breaking in anguish. Cat’s mother let out a long wail of misery. The sound of ripping flesh hit Cat through the walls, her sharp senses picking up the horror occurring upstairs as if it happened in front of her. The indescribable reverberation of meat and bone being separated, with pops, tears, and wet smacks reflected around the stone walls of her cage. Her father sobbed when her mother’s cries abruptly stopped.
Cat covered her sensitive ears with her hands, trying to block out the torment. Who was this person? How could he do this? Her family had always lived like normal humans. Had someone figured out their secret?
Thoughts of possible explanations kept her mind detached from the situation now that the screaming had stopped upstairs. Heavy footfalls on the floor told her someone was still in the home. The man whistled an eerie child’s tune as he walked around, joined by the slide and slam of drawers and cabinets.
What was he looking for?
Things quieted again, and he spoke on the phone curtly, giving brief responses to whoever was on the line.
After a long pause, the front door shut, and the voice trailed outside. A car started and drove through the snow.
Cat waited, sitting on the frigid stone floors of the basement. Every heavy breath she exhaled from her mouth came out in a thick white plume of fog. The cold might not affect her body, but inside she was frozen and numb as she listened to the emptiness of the house above her.
After a few long minutes, she stood, creeping to the back of the basement. Her father had built the small room, every stone put into place by his loving hands. It stored all their non-perishables and emergency supplies on metal shelving systems that took up most of the space. Baskets and bins lined the shelves with labels on each one. She took in the feeling of home, knowing she’d never be back there again.
Numbly, she stripped out of her clothes and set them in one of the farthest baskets. If the man came back and searched, at least the clothes were hidden so he would be less likely to find them. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she called her wolf out.
Cat shook herself to get rid of the numb feeling and crouched low to the ground. With her ears perked to attention, she listened for the slightest creak of a floorboard, the whisper of a breath between lips. All she heard was the wind whistling through the now busted front door and the drip of the leaking faucet in the bathroom. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, trying to separate all the familiar scents and find one that stood out.
She was assaulted by the copper scent of blood. Instinctively, she scrunched up her nose, baring her teeth, and almost growled before she caught herself. Her humanity cried out, knowing the blood was her parents’ and that no one breathed in the room above her. She sensed no life, and her wolf quietly whined at the loss of her pack, the only one she’d ever known.
Her wolf called for her to follow her mother’s command. She stood on numb limbs and sniffed the ground. Her parents had shown her a secret escape hatch, specifically put there for dangerous situations and easy enough for a wolf to use. Finding the hidden rug, she pushed it aside with her nose, then pulled on the rope that opened the door in the ground. Tunnels extended outward under the house, leading a mile or so into the surrounding Alaskan wilderness.
Staring down into the depth of the stone tunnels, Cat shivered. Everything she’d ever known had changed in a matter of seconds. No family, no pack, no friends. Just a lone wolf in a vast wilderness, leaving her at a loss for what to do. She was seventeen, for God’s sake. She glanced at the basement door, and anger ripped up from her belly like fire. Growling low and quiet, she sneaked to the door and sniffed underneath to find the scent of the person who tore everything from her. It smelled acrid, like sewer, sulfur, and with a hint of cinnamon, as if he had been trying to hide his scent with cologne.
With the unforgettable scent fresh in her mind, Cat dived into the tunnels and pulled a second rope to close the hatch behind her. She made her way out of the damp, cold tunnels and escaped into the wilderness, running as fast and far as she could, away from the remnants of her life.
* * * *
When she stopped, the whole room was silent except for the sound of Cat’s quiet sobs. It was only then that Cat noticed everyone was holding their breath. Killian pulled back, and she hated the lack of comfort, but a pair of arms yanked her out of her chair and embraced her. And another pair. And yet another. Before she knew it, the whole pack had congregated in a circle around her, holding her in their tight, loving grasps.
It was comfort at its finest. The whole pack pushed their energy at her, trying their hardest to take away all of her pain. A pack thing. She was part of their pack. They were holding her, accepting her, letting her in, and promising so much support—all through the simplest gesture.
She’d seen them do the same thing before, when Brian was hurting. And for them to do it to her… Cat hadn’t been that happy in a long, long time.