Chapter Seventeen
The two of them finally made it down the stairs sometime later, and Cat could feel the heat flooding her face at just the thought of seeing the pack. They had to have heard them upstairs. Killian stayed relaxed, almost smug, with his hand held slightly at the small of her back as they walked back into the kitchen.
Cat noticed all the women were gone. Jessica had probably gone to lay Mia down for a nap. She sort of wished Jessica had stayed even a moment longer in order for there to be a proper apology between the two. Cat would definitely have to give her one later. And Aurelia… Well, Cat was sure she’d see her around at some point. She probably wasn’t too happy about the budding relationship between her and Killian.
Finn, Brian, and Jamie were bent over a large map that took over the whole table. Jamie’s messy blond hair moved as he shook his head and pointed to a spot.
“No. There’s nothing there for miles. How could anyone live out there?”
Cat looked up at Killian, curious to see if he knew what they were doing. Killian simply raised his eyebrows in surprise and shrugged, feigning complete innocence. She marched over and looked down. The word ALASKA screamed out at her from the middle of a multicolored map.
“What are you three doing?” Cat crossed her arms, keeping her eyes on the spot under Jamie’s finger.
She felt more than saw as Killian moved next to her, leaning over to see what was happening. Finn glanced up, his blue eyes drawn tight with lines and his face contemplative.
“We’re looking for where you might have come from. You say you were out there for six years, which leaves a lot of open area to check.”
Cat looked at the men surrounding the table in shock. Getting used to the whole pack helps pack idea was going to take a bit of time. They all seemed so serious. Even Jamie lacked his usual jovial demeanor. He stayed focused on the map, scanning over the lines like they would spell out her home. Cat cleared her throat past the lump that suddenly formed there and uncrossed her arms.
“I can tell you.” All four of them looked at her. Killian’s expression silently laughed at her, because apparently she had been keeping secrets. She had never thought it important to tell them.
“Seriously?” Jamie asked, dumbfounded.
“Well, if you guys had only thought to ask…” Cat muttered and looked at the lines on the map. Finding the lake her father used to take her to, she moved her finger over a couple of inches north and tapped it against the paper. “Right there is a small town. Only a very few people live there, and they’re mostly seasonal residents, but my cabin is in the mountains nearby.”
When they simply stared at her, she sighed. “My father taught me the spot on the map in case I ever got lost and needed to find my way home. Just because we were isolated doesn’t mean we were stupid.”
Finn looked at the spot placed just off the highway. “So you’re telling me there’s people who live out there? There’s not even a name on the map!”
Cat choked out a laugh. “That’s Alaska, boys. There’s a whole lot of nothing but nature out there.”
Jamie grinned, that boyish charm breaking through his previously stony face. “Glad to have your help, kitten. That means we don’t have to run around the woods, freezing our junk off.”
Cat reached over and punched him in the shoulder for calling her kitten, but laughed at the idea of them trying to withstand the Alaskan wilderness, despite their inability to freeze their junk off.
* * * *
The airplane shuddered furiously around them, a metal death trap held up only by some stupid jets under its wings. All around the horrid machine were dark gray clouds that, if Mother Nature chose, could send them dropping out of the sky to their demise. Cat closed her eyes against the nausea building in her stomach and clutched the hard plastic of the armrests.
Never in her life had she flown in a plane—consciously at least. The idea of being at the mercy of physics and science was completely baffling. She had been sold on the idea of driving, where she could get out and touch solid ground, but Killian had cut that off with a commanding stare. They needed to do it quickly, and flying was the logical option.
She could kill him. At that moment she really could.
Sometime after her panicked thoughts and her fantasy of ripping him to pieces, a strong hand covered hers. She didn’t even bother opening her eyes, because Killian was the only person sitting next to her. Cat, Brian, and Killian were flying out to Alaska to see what leads they could find, if any at all. But Cat wasn’t trying to be pessimistic about the situation. They had set out to leave only two days after Cat agreed to join the pack, and she hated that Brian had come. But he had volunteered for the task, leaving Jessica standing in an airport with sad eyes and a crying Mia.
“It’s just turbulence, Cat. We’re going to be fine,” Killian said, humor lacing his voice.
Cat nibbled on her lip and glanced out the side of her eye toward Brian sitting across the aisle from her. He was perfectly calm. Damn him. He read some kind of magazine with the ankle of one leg on top of the other. He wiggled his foot, completely ignoring the poor confined balding man in the suit next to him. After opening the other eye to glance at Killian, she realized how ridiculous she looked. They were on a commercial airplane filled with people, and she was the only one gasping for air and looking like a total fool.
Killian looked at her with laughter in his eyes and a smile that only tilted one side of his lips. She rolled her shoulders and forced her muscles to relax against the uncomfortable chair.
“I’m fine. All good,” Cat muttered and nodded in an attempt to convince her body. The churning feeling in her stomach said otherwise.
“Why don’t you talk to me? It’ll get all this mess off your mind,” Killian said softly.
He squeezed her fingers and pulled the shade over the window with his other hand. Fortunately, he had been the one to get that seat. She didn’t think she could stand looking out and seeing the earth thousands of feet below them.
“About what?” Cat’s mind was all over, specifically on her bucket list and all the things she hadn’t been able to do in life.
“You could tell me about your parents.”
She paused, her heart constricting. To speak about them out loud was something she’d never really done before. It was as if they were her own hidden world. Her memories with them were an escape from the reality they were gone. But sharing them with Killian…could she do that?
Cat cleared her throat and looked over at him. He watched her cautiously, knowing it would be hard for her. This was an opportunity to open up more to him, but how much more did she have left to give him? After sharing a bed with him, it didn’t seem too bad to share them. Maybe it would spur the mysterious man to share a little bit of his past.
She slowly lifted the armrest between them and pulled his arm over her shoulder. Nestling her body into his and placing her head on his chest, she listened to the steady beat of his heart. That simple sound itself could lull her from the troubles around them.
A sudden jerk of the plane had her squeezing her eyes shut, and she grasped for his hand again. Maybe the heartbeat wasn’t so helpful after all.
“What do you want to know about them?” she asked, her voice tight from stress.
His free arm wrapped around the front of her, and he pulled her closer until she was practically in his lap.
“Start with what they were like.” His voice rumbled in his chest against her ear, and she sighed in contentment.
“My mom,” she began, picturing the woman in her mind, “she was so beautiful. I remember growing up I would ask her whether she was an angel.” Cat smiled at the memory and lost herself in the moment. “She would laugh at me and tell me, ‘Of course not!’ and then Papa would come in and say, ‘She’s my angel.’”
Killian made a sound deep in his chest and squeezed her but didn’t say anything. So she kept on talking.
“The way he looked at her…it was amazing. How two people could love each other so much. Yet they were so different. Mama was soft, where Papa was tough. She taught me ballet, and Papa let me climb trees. She read me books, taught me history, and Papa taught me how to fish.” Cat fidgeted, rubbing her thumb across Killian’s jean-clad thigh. “They complemented each other in that way, though. It sounds cheesy, doesn’t it?”
Cat looked up at Killian, whose eyes held an emotion she couldn’t name. He watched her as he pressed his lips to hers. Nothing passionate or demanding, but just a small reassurance to steady her emotions.
“Nope,” he assured and pulled her head back down to his chest. “Not cheesy at all.”
She looked back down to his lap, hoping he didn’t see the tears building in her eyes. Cat swallowed them back and forced herself to speak.
“Papa tried to get me out of the house as much as possible. He used to take me out on these dates by a lake near our house. We would pack up a picnic of whatever Mama made us and walk to the shore. Just to sit and talk. He was really good at listening to me and…understanding.”
Killian’s thumb traced slowly over the back of Cat’s hand, tiny circles around her knuckles and the tiny veins visible beneath her pale skin.
“So that’s why you seemed uncomfortable about going for a picnic,” he stated more than asked.
Cat nodded softly. “It brought a lot back.”
“I’m sorry, Cat,” he muttered sincerely, kissing the top of her head. “We’ll do something else next time.”
“No. It was nice.” She smiled and looked up at him. The “next time” he mentioned was not lost on her ears. Her nose brushed the bottom of his chin, covered with a dark shadow of hair. “Definitely different from what I used to do with my dad.”
He laughed deeply, his chest moving up and down against her head. “I should hope so.”
He leaned down and brushed another kiss against her lips. Neither of them deepened it, content to just sit close and hold each other. His breath fanned across her face, and Cat rubbed her nose against his cheek to inhale his scent. How had he changed her so tremendously in such a short amount of time? Just a couple of days ago, she was fighting him tooth and nail, and now she just wanted his arms around her. A deep need to just have his touch.
It’s because he’s here. He had decided to help, to support her through this seemingly hopeless endeavor. Despite her attempt to keep him and the pack at bay, they had shoved back harder. And right now…she was okay with that.
Killian sighed and kissed the tip of Cat’s nose. His hand pushed her head back down onto his chest as he shifted in his seat to get more comfortable.
“Sleep, Cat. There’s still quite a few hours left before we land. Might as well take a nap.”
She closed her eyes, nestled into his warmth and comfort, and forgot they were in a death trap that could plummet to the earth.