Chapter Eleven
What. The. Hell.
Cat had just crossed that line. The one she’d sworn up and down she wouldn’t. Kissing Killian, and letting him do those…those things to her. What had she been thinking? Evidently she hadn’t been, because the minute his lips had touched hers, all common sense dissipated into thin air.
Even now, with her fingers interlaced in his tanned ones as they walked down the stairs, she couldn’t believe how good the simple contact felt. It was nothing compared to what had happened in the office.
She could still feel the crush of his lips across hers, hot and demanding but oh so delicate. Her nipples strained against her bra underneath the sweater she wore, and all she wanted was to feel his lips on her again. It had been so much more than any fantasy in the shower. A delicious ache throbbed between her legs, the friction of her jeans a constant reminder of their rendezvous. Her anxious wolf paced, needing some sort of release, wanting to do nothing more than jump the man leading her outside the house.
His long legs sped across the grounds, but she could tell he was holding back for her own short ones. The muscles underneath his dark jeans rippled with each impact to the grass as he made his way to a lone figure standing across the field. The red flannel Killian wore deepened the color of his skin and the darkness of his hair, which curled behind his ears and blew freely in the wind. She remembered stroking her fingers into his locks, pulling at the curls to bring the taste of his mouth closer. Her fingers itched to do it again—maybe shove him down on the grass… She could sit on top of him and claim him as hers…
“Cat? This is Penelope Thompson.” Killian’s rough voice shattered her vivid imagination, and Cat realized she was standing in front of the woman with her hand still in Killian’s. She had been staring at Killian, who had a god-awful, knowing smile on his face. Damn, all she needed was a little drool coming from her mouth and the ridiculous image would be complete.
Embarrassment flooded her face, and she cleared her throat. “Hi, Penelope. I’m Cat.”
She reached out her hand to the woman. Penelope was a very tall Amazon-looking woman with the most fantastic waves of black hair cascading down her back. Her yellow dress stood out against her coffee-colored skin and molded to every voluptuous curve she had been blessed with. Annoyed by her own envy of the woman’s proportions, Cat resisted the urge to pull her hand back, but Penelope just gave a very fake smile and returned the handshake.
“Pleasure to meet you.” Penelope paused with a small smirk. “I was hoping to be able to have a moment alone with Mr. Stone so we could talk about the progress on Wolf Creek.” She dragged her thickly lashed hazel eyes over toward Killian and pursed her pink glossy lips in appreciation.
Oh, I just bet you wanted a moment alone with him. Cat fought the urge to growl, or worse, to bite the woman’s damn head off as she took her hand back.
Killian’s face remained professional as he put his arm around Cat’s waist to give an obvious territorial message.
“It’s all right if Cat is here. I don’t want the interview to take too long anyway, because we have plans. This was quite…unexpected.”
Penelope clearly caught on to what he hinted at, because she recoiled in shock. She was unwelcome and interrupting what could have been a good time.
Wait… Plans? Good time? Catrina Macintyre, what the hell is wrong with you? She couldn’t be doing these things with Killian. He had mentioned in the office it was time for her to leave, so getting comfortable and letting herself give in to him was only going to make that harder.
Oh, but how she wanted to. Even with her nonexistent experience, she knew those hands and that mouth held promises needing to be fulfilled. Her wolf purred at the thought of the pleasure Killian could bring her. Yet the pain was there, a constant reminder to stay away.
That kiss must have addled her brain. Sure, Killian was an amazing Alpha and an incredible friend, but he was a stranger. A stranger who could make her laugh and distract her from the one thing that had kept her alive for six years. But making herself a pack, a home, when she had no right? No way. She had to leave Wolf Creek, and then she could figure out her next steps from there. Free of Killian’s distracting presence.
“So, of course my last question is going to be the most obvious one, Mr. Stone. So many women out there are wondering if the man raising wolves has a certain someone in his life to keep him company out here in the wilderness. You know, keep your bed warm?” Penelope’s eyebrow rose suggestively, and her neon-orange fingernail clicked against her recorder in anticipation of his answer.
Cat crossed her arms over her chest, instantly uncomfortable with the situation. She shouldn’t care whether this woman wanted to lay Killian down, rip his shirt from his delicious, muscular chest, and lick down the ripples of flesh lower and lower… Ugh! Cat raised her eyes skyward in a plea for this to be over.
Killian sighed in irritation and rubbed a hand through his hair. The one not still gripping Cat’s waist. Oh yeah. Cat tried to sidestep to dislodge his hold, and he only squeezed tighter.
“Honestly, there’s someone I’m interested in, but she’s not giving me the time of day,” he confessed and smiled sheepishly. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Penelope’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? And who would she be?” She looked between Killian and Cat, the obvious answer right in front of her.
“We’ll just keep that a secret for now, won’t we, Ms. Thompson?” Killian chuckled, and Penelope smiled.
“Of course. One last thing. Let me just snap a quick photo of you for the paper, and I’ll be out of your way. I don’t think I want to hike to find the wolves in these heels.” Penelope slipped the recorder into her black purse and fumbled with the huge camera around her neck. After she took the cap off the front, her face disappeared behind the monstrosity. “All right. Smile, you two!”
Cat tried again to move away from Killian, but he only squeezed tighter, a huge grin on his face. She looked up at him, scowling and pissed he wouldn’t let her go, when the sound of the camera shutter went off.
“Okay! Got it,” Penelope exclaimed, dropping her camera to hang from the strap. “It was nice to meet you two. I will send you a copy of the paper when it’s printed.”
“Thank you, Ms. Thompson. I’m sure we’ll meet again.” Killian reached out a hand to shake hers. When her dark one enclosed his lighter, tanned one, she raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow again and leaned forward.
“Oh, I sure hope so, Mr. Stone.” She turned away and marched down the grass to the driveway. Her heels sank into the ground every few steps, causing her to lean in one direction and almost topple over.
They both watched as she finally made it to her silver car and, with a swish of her black hair, entered it. The engine started, and she drove down the road and away from Wolf Creek.
Awkwardness fell over the two of them like a wet blanket, suffocating and restricting any movement.
“Go out with me. Tonight.”
Cat started when he spoke and looked up at him.
“Killian, I really don’t think—”
Killian turned their bodies until they were facing each other, his hands holding her shoulders in a firm grip. He lowered his head so they were eye to eye.
“Just tonight, Cat. I want to take you out to dinner so we can talk. Please?” he pleaded, sincerity in his stare. He wanted her to say yes, almost needed her to.
She could do nothing but concede to his wishes. She would be leaving soon anyway, right? Why not just have dinner with the man who had sheltered her, trained her…kissed her? With a sigh, she nodded.
“All right. Let’s do it.”
His eyebrows jumped up, and a huge smile spread across his face.
“Well, darlin’, I wasn’t talking about doing all that now, but if you insist, we could always head back up—”
Before he could finish, Cat made a sound of outrage, punched him in the shoulder, and stormed back to the house. She would never get used to avoiding the innuendos.
“Meet me in the living room at five! Dress warm,” he shouted, chuckling at her departure.
* * * *
After she slammed the door to her room, Cat leaned against it and let out a deep breath of frustration.
She didn’t want to admit how good it felt to want something, to actually feel something besides debilitating anger. And that was exactly what he was going to want to talk about at dinner. He was going to try to get her to stay in the pack, to lean on him and be needy when all she wanted was to hunt.
How easy would it be? She yearned for somewhere to belong, and she had found it at Wolf Creek. She could stay and have girl talk with Jessica, watch Mia grow older, laugh at Jamie’s jokes and his antics, and wake up to Killian singing to the radio in the morning as she had the past month. Her wolf agreed it was needed. Having a pack was essential to her life, and she needed the affection.
How can you forget the one we lost? Cat asked her wolf, scolding her natural instinct to just form a pack and be comforted. Memories of a dark basement, tortured screams, and maniacal laughter brought her back to reality.
A knock at the door claimed the silence of the room. After a quick glance at the clock on the nightstand, Cat rolled her eyes.
“I still have two hours, Killian!” she shouted, even though he’d be able to hear her perfectly well if she hadn’t.
“Oooh, two hours until what?” Jessica’s voice questioned from the other side.
She breezed in the door blithely and settled herself on Cat’s bed. She bounced on it a little bit and looked around. “This is nice,” she commented.
Cat shrugged and sat down on the cream-colored armchair across from the bed. “It’s a place to sleep.”
Jessica’s eyes narrowed, and she pursed her lips, staring at Cat with her eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you start doing that to me, Catrina Macintyre,” she scolded.
“What are you talking about?” Cat looked down at her fingers and picked at her nails in an attempt to avoid eye contact with the woman who seemed to always be pushing her boundaries down.
“Seriously? You think I don’t know you by now? We hung out nicely the other night, and now you’re going to push me away. The game you have going on gets really annoying.” Jessica scoffed and leaned back to look up at the ceiling, bracing herself with her hands.
Shocked, Cat looked up quickly at the person who had become her closest friend. “What game are you talking—”
Jessica let out a short laugh. “Let’s not even go there, Cat. I just came up here to see how you were doing. Jamie and Brian told me things got really heated between you and Lia today.”
Cat had almost forgotten about the fight with Lia. She’d been so furious at Lia’s constant goading. She had tried to ignore the insults the spiteful Shifter aimed toward her, but when Lia had insulted Killian’s training, it had set Cat off.
Curling her legs up underneath her, Cat rolled her shoulders at the reminder. “Yeah, I’m fine. She was just being her usual self.”
“Hmm,” Jessica agreed thoughtfully. Then her head shot up, her short fringe flapping at the motion. “So what are you and Killian doing in two hours?”
Cat chewed on her bottom lip, unsure of how to answer. Should she just avoid the question? No, that would be obvious. Jessica sat there, her smile getting wider with each passing second Cat dragged on the silence. Relenting, Cat rolled her eyes.
“We’re going out on a date,” she mumbled.
Jessica’s squeal made Cat wince. “Seriously? I knew you’d say yes eventually.”
“It’s not like I had a choice. He said we need to ‘talk.’” Cat made little quotations in the air sarcastically.
Jessica’s eyebrows rose as she leaned forward onto her knees. “Talk about what?”
“Probably about how I’m leaving soon.” Cat went back to chewing on her lip as Jessica’s smile fell.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, apparently I am done training and am free to venture out into the world.” Cat wriggled the fingers of one hand in front of her to accentuate her sarcasm. The shock on Jessica’s face brought a familiar ache to Cat’s heart.
“And Killian is just…letting you leave?”
Cat barked out a laugh. “What do you mean letting me? It’s not like he’s my Alpha. I’m not part of the pack, remember?”
Hurt flashed in Jessica’s eyes, and she looked as though Cat had slapped her. Jessica shook her head and hunched her body. She inhaled a deep breath and sent her bangs flying again with exasperation as she exhaled.
“I don’t know how Killian does this with you.” She looked skyward, as if begging for some kind of reprieve from the stubborn she-wolf in front of her.
Bemused, Cat gave her a halfhearted smile. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What does it take to become a pack, Cat?” When her emerald gaze collided with Cat’s, there was no longer hurt or sadness but pure anger brimming at the surface. It seemed all too similar to that morning, between Cat and Killian. “Do you need some sort of ritual? Let’s all go dance naked under the full moon and chant. Maybe then you’ll believe you belong here.”
Cat was already shaking her head. What was up with them today?
“You’re shaking your head at me, but can you really come up with a reason not to stay? Your pack is dead, Cat. You won’t even tell me what happened! I thought we were closer friends than that.”
Cat sensed the pain behind Jessica’s words, and the desperate urge to comfort her friend swept over her. The need to give Jessica a hug to calm the raging wolf under the human skin, but that was something a packmate did. All it would do was solidify Jessica’s belief that Cat was pack, and that was something Cat didn’t need.
“How long have I even been here Jessica? A month?” Cat attacked as she clenched her fists at her sides. She shot out of the chair, watching Jessica’s face as Cat tore into the only true friend she had.
“I’m sorry you think just because I’ve come here that all of a sudden we’re going to be best buddies. We can all live here in this podunk town and have a bunch of babies, drink tea on the front porch, and waste away happily ever after. But let me tell you something, Jessica. I have something I need to do, and it doesn’t include any of you.” Cat’s finger pointed out in harsh reprimand. “This is my fight, not the pack’s. I’m the one who had to sit in the basement while my parents were murdered above my head. I’m the one who had to smell the stench of my pack’s blood and not be able to do anything about it. I’m the one who has to live with the fact that my parents saved me, and I haven’t done anything but hide in a forest for six years.”
Tears fell down Cat’s face, the salty liquid entering her open mouth as she panted in exertion. Her whole body shook with tension, and she didn’t know whether it was because of the fight or the emotional reaction on Jessica’s face.
She sat erect on the bed, no longer relaxed but tense with pain—or was it shock? Tears pooled within her red-rimmed eyes, and she folded her lips into her mouth to keep them from quivering. Her shoulders quaked, and she released a gasp.
“Oh my God, Cat. I didn’t know—” Jessica pleaded.
“Of course you didn’t,” Cat snapped. “Because I didn’t tell you. Because we’re not pack, Jessica. I can’t afford to have a pack right now.”
Silence fell over the bedroom, and a shutter closed over Jessica’s face. She folded in on herself and gave a short nod toward Cat. Cat’s heart squeezed, threatening to stop beating. Jessica’s tall model-like form reduced itself to a depressed slump as she rose off the bed. When she passed by Cat, her hand lifted to Cat’s shoulder.
“Honestly, Cat, I’m glad you told me. I wish it had been under different circumstances, but I’m still happy. And you know what I think? That right now”—she swallowed and raised her eyes to the ceiling one more time before meeting Cat’s—“you need us more than you think you do.”
After giving Cat’s shoulder a last squeeze, she walked out of the room and shut it behind her quietly, leaving Cat in absolute silence, her whole body shaking with uncontrollable sobs.