Porsha had been meeting with Michelle for the last fifteen minutes, and Michelle’s attitude seemed worse than it was last week. Porsha had called and asked her to come to her office to review a few more documents for her women’s ministry, but Michelle seemed totally put out by it.
“Okay, look, Michelle,” Porsha said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, then why do you seem so different?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re treating me very coldly, and it’s never been like that with you and me before. We’ve always had a great relationship, and in all honesty, a good friendship. So please tell me what’s really going on here.”
Michelle sighed a bit louder than normal. “I’m just busy is all. I have a lot to do, and I also need to get ready for our staff meeting. Which is only an hour from now.”
“Is your health okay?” Porsha asked.
“It’s fine.”
“Because if you’re not feeling well or going through anything at all, you know you can tell me.”
Michelle half nodded but seemed uninterested.
“Do you have any questions?” Porsha said.
“About what?”
“The e-blast schedule I need you to set up or the three handouts I need you to create. I also need the date and time included in both of this week’s automated phone call announcements. And in the one the day before the first meeting as well.”
“Everything will be taken care of.”
Porsha wanted to ask her again what was bothering her, but finally she said, “Then that’s all I have.”
“I’ll see you at the staff meeting,” Michelle said, already on her way out the door.
Something wasn’t right, and while Raven was the last person Porsha conversed with anymore, either at church or otherwise, she got up and went to go see her.
She walked down the corridor, just past Michelle’s office, and knocked on Raven’s door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, you have a minute?” Porsha said, entering and shutting the door behind her.
“I’m getting ready for staff, but if it’s important go ahead.”
“This won’t take long, and I’m just wondering if you’ve noticed something different about Michelle.”
“Not really. Like what?”
“The way she’s been acting. Almost like something’s wrong or maybe she doesn’t feel well.”
Raven shook her head. “No, I haven’t noticed anything like that. As a matter of fact, when I first got here this morning, she told me about this new store at one of the outlet malls. She went shopping there yesterday.”
Porsha folded her arms. “Oh. Well, maybe she’s just upset with me about something.”
“Does she have a reason?”
“No.”
“Did you ask her if something was wrong?”
“I did. Both last week and a few minutes ago. That’s why I decided to come check with you.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. Oh, and by the way, I watched that little message you gave on Sunday morning, and it wasn’t bad. But it’s like I told you last week, the more you do it, the better you’ll be at it.”
Porsha didn’t even bother responding to Raven’s demeaning comments and simply said, “I’ll see you in the meeting.”
Then she headed back toward her own office. Raven was being just as cold as Michelle was, and the only difference was that Raven acted as though Porsha was beneath her. Raven had been indirectly doing this kind of thing for a while, but now she didn’t even try to hide it. She showed her true colors boldly and unapologetically, and she seemed to enjoy trying to make Porsha feel bad. But Porsha wouldn’t let her do that. Not when she believed she was finally doing what God wanted her to do, and that her words were lifting people up. Raven was just upset because Porsha was now speaking before the congregation every single Sunday versus only every now and then. She didn’t like it, but until Porsha mapped out her exit and went to Raven to discuss it, she would continue sharing a short message with their parishioners as planned.
When Porsha arrived back at her desk, she smiled. She wasn’t sure where they’d come from, but two dozen red roses quickly brightened her mood. She loved flowers, especially roses, but when she realized who they likely were from, her spirits dropped. She and Steve hadn’t spoken since two days ago when he’d stormed out of her house, but she’d had a feeling he wouldn’t be leaving things as is. She’d tried to explain her position as best as she could, but it had only made him angrier. He hadn’t understood her decision, and to some degree, she doubted he ever would.
Porsha went around her desk and lifted the small envelope from the arrangement. She opened it and pulled out the card. Just as she’d thought, the roses were from Steve. It was a nice gesture, but he was going to have to find a way to get beyond this. Their affair was over, and although Porsha wasn’t sure about a number of things evolving in her life right now, she was clear on this: She wouldn’t sleep with Steve again, or with any other married man for as long as she lived.
Porsha slid the card back inside the envelope and sat in her chair. But as soon as she picked up her pen, her phone rang. As expected, Steve was calling her, and she didn’t want to answer him. But she also knew that if she didn’t, he’d either call her again or drop by her house, and she definitely didn’t want that.
“Hello?”
“How are you?”
“I’m good. What about you?”
“How do you think, Porsha? I mean, this breakup is obviously pretty easy for you, but I haven’t slept in two nights. I’m miserable, and I really need to see you.”
“But we already talked about this. You know how I feel and that I can’t see you anymore.”
“Why, though? Why did you decide this now?”
“I haven’t felt comfortable with our situation for a while, but this week I knew I couldn’t continue being with you.”
“And it’s all because you’ve suddenly become this godly woman? No other reason?”
“You’re saying that like it’s a joke and you don’t believe it, but God really has shown me how wrong I was to sleep with another woman’s husband. I always knew it was wrong on my own, but now I know that God will never allow me to have real peace until I move on from our relationship. He also won’t bless me with a husband.”
“That’s what this is really all about, isn’t it? You want to be married.”
“You’ve always known that, Steve, so please don’t make it sound like you didn’t.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just asking if this was your real reason for breaking up with me.”
“Maybe partly, but it was mostly because I don’t want to sleep with a married man anymore. I keep telling you that, but you’re not hearing me.”
“Well, what if I left my wife and got a divorce? Then what?”
“I don’t think that’s the answer.”
“Why?”
“Because I realize now that if you did leave your wife and married me, I would always be waiting for you to have an affair. And there wouldn’t be a single thing I could really say, not when I knew I deserved it.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. You know I wouldn’t.”
“But you did it to Denene, Steve.”
“That’s because I don’t love her, and to be honest, I don’t think she loves me, either. She never questions me about anything. I can basically come and go as I please.”
“But you loved her once upon a time. Am I right?”
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?”
“It has to do with everything. Because just like you fell in love with her and then somehow stopped loving her, you could do the same thing to me.”
“But I wouldn’t. Things would be different with us. I would be faithful to you until death.”
“That’s easier said than done. But none of that matters now, anyway, because I don’t want to be the reason you leave your wife and son.”
“You say that today, but I can remember you asking me to leave them plenty of times.”
“And I was wrong, I told you that on Sunday.”
“Can we talk about this in person?”
“No, let’s just move on with our lives.”
“But you know that’s not what I want.”
“I’m sorry. I know you want me to say something different, but this really is it for me.”
“Then I guess I’ll talk to you later,” he said, and hung up.
He hadn’t even waited for her to say good-bye, so maybe this would be his last time calling her. Maybe he would think long and hard and do what she’d suggested to him on Sunday: seek professional counseling and work things out with his wife. Because if he did, maybe he would see that there was still hope for his marriage. Maybe he would fall in love with his wife all over again, and life would be good for them. That’s what Porsha hoped for. That’s what she would pray for tonight before going to bed.