Three

Paislee

We decided to take my car because it was more comfortable than Josh’s Camaro, and Garrett’s two-seater truck wouldn’t haul us all. I climbed into the driver’s seat but hesitated before starting the car. My mind was still reeling from Josh’s words. 

He had said I was beautiful. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the way that he said it. Made me feel different inside, like he truly meant it. There was something about a compliment from that boy that made my knees weak. 

“Are you trying to freeze my balls off?” Garrett’s voice trembled from the cold, and it snapped me out of my daydream.

“My bad,” I said starting the car and cranking the heat up. 

Garrett started shouting off directions to Tex’s house, who I learned was Garrett’s cousin and a Sophmore at UTN. Tex’s real name was Jude but they called him Tex because he wore a cowboy hat, and competed in the rodeo. Garrett said he was the king of bareback bronc-riding, whatever the heck that meant. Supposedly he’d been competing since he was old enough to spit like a man. Those were Garrett’s words, not mine. 

“So who are Obi and Fox? I’m assuming those are nicknames too.” Surely someone didn’t name his or her kid Fox. 

I made a left onto a gravel road that felt like it was leading me into the middle of nowhere, but the guys didn’t seem worried. Obviously, they’d been to Tex’s house before.

“Obi is a friend of my cousin Tex. They shared a dorm together last year, and they’re good buddies. I think Obi is short for something like Obadiah, but I’ve had a few drinks so it could be short for Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh too. He had such a deep voice, but his laugh was loud and high pitched. I cracked up every time I heard it. It earned a laugh from Josh too, who’d been oddly quiet in the passenger seat. It was his birthday. He should’ve been the one drunk in the backseat. 

“Now Fox is a totally different story. He’s the big man on campus.” Garrett alleged, and I scoffed at the thought. I never really liked that type, which is a shitty thing to say, but it was true. Coming from money doesn’t make you privileged. “And Fox is his real name. No shit.”

I looked at Josh and gave him a “yeah right” stare and pressed my lips tightly together, but he nodded his head. 

Why? Why in the world would someone name their kid Fox? We live in Arkansas for crying out loud. This wasn’t Hollywood.

“So how do you all know Fox? Assuming he’s this big, bad, man on campus that you’re telling me he is.” I still had my doubts.

“Obi and Fox are brothers,” Josh replied.

“What?” I was confused. “But you guys said…”

“Obi was adopted by the Andersons. They’re not related by blood but Obi and Fox are close. They always have been. When you meet the two of them you’ll wonder why, because they are complete opposites. Obi still lives on campus, though. He prefers it there since he competes on the wrestling team. Fox is a junior now, and he lives at home. Which is where we are going tonight.”

“Weird,” I shook my head. 

“The whole college experience is weird,” Garrett replied. “Pretty soon you’ll be one of us.”

And within walking distance of Josh every day…

That didn’t sound so bad.

I was just about to give up on the never-ending road when a house came into view. 

Holy smokes! 

It wasn’t just any house. My goodness, it was beautiful. There was a white picket fence as far as the eye could see. A two-story house set off to the left with a porch that wrapped all the way around it. It was an older place, but had the feel of an old plantation house. It was gorgeous. I instantly fell in love with it, and I wanted to see the inside. 

“This has got to be the prettiest place I’ve ever seen. Jeez.” I craned my neck so that I could see it better out my driver window as we parked in the circular driveway out front. 

“If you think this is nice, you should see the stables,” Garrett replied as he opened the back door. 

“Stables? As in horses?”

Garrett snorted. “I know I’m not drunk yet. I’m pretty sure we just had the rodeo conversation like ten minutes ago.”

Persnickety little shit.  

“Come on,” he called. 

My inner self just cheered, because I was dying to see the inside of that house. It was something straight out of a movie. 

I followed behind the guys as they led the way. The fact that I didn’t know these people hadn’t fazed me at all. I mean, the house… I had to see it. Garrett just opened the front door like he owned the place. His aunt and uncle did, but it felt weird not being welcomed inside of a stranger’s home. 

Josh rested his hand on the small of my back as we walked inside. I liked to have fallen over dead as soon as I saw it. The picture that I’d concocted in my mind couldn’t have held a candle to the real thing. My parents were wealthy, and we had a gorgeous house that was too big, and far too fancy for the average family. But here’s the thing. There is fancy and there is FANCY! This place was like a dollhouse come to life. Everything was white, and shiny, and regal. Michelangelo couldn’t have painted something this grand. 

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little. But I still needed to pick my jaw up off the floor. 

“Wipe the drool off your chin, Lee,” Josh whispered. I glanced up at him, and he knew. It was a silent thing between us. He could read me like a book. “It’s amazing right?”

“Is there a word better than amazing?” I countered. 

“TEX!” Garrett yelled up the staircase that led to the second floor. It was a wide set of stairs that could only be called grand, that was shaped like the letter Y and started in the middle of the foyer. 

“Be there in a minute,” a voice called back. 

Careful to step lightly, I took a few steps further into the room so I could get a closer look at a painting that had caught my eye. It was an almost an exact duplication of the house I was standing in. There were a few subtle changes, but mostly the same. 

I could envision the day of the painting like I was there. It was surreal. 

The sound of footsteps on the stairs caught my attention, and I turned around to see someone coming down. 

“Hey Jude,” Josh sang and I snapped my head in his direction. Josh had one hand over his chest like he was serenading him.

“Like I haven’t heard that before.” There was a deep southern drawl in Tex’s voice that sounded as sweet as tea. I noticed his bare feet as he was nearing the bottom of the staircase. He had on a plaid shirt that was unbuttoned from top to bottom, leaving his chiseled bare chest in plain view. His jeans were hanging loosely from his hips. Loose enough that we were inches away from seeing all the goods he had to offer. But what most caught my eye was the cowboy hat on his head. I’d normally think that it was a fashion disaster, but it looked like it was made just for him. Hold on to your buckles ladies… Damn…

A set of the cocoa brown eyes peered out from under the rim of the hat and looked directly at me. 

“Hey,” he smiled and I lost all train of thought. There were dimples. There were dimples on both of his cheeks. 

Could I speak?

Um… Nope, no words were making any sense in my brain. 

I managed a small wave, but felt like an idiot after I’d done it. 

Josh cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at me. 

Shit, Josh. 

“Ready,” I said hurriedly as I made my way out the front door at lightening speed. Good thing my heels were wedges, because I wouldn’t have been nearly as graceful. I felt embarrassed. There was some serious heat in my cheeks as I stepped out into the cool night air. It felt amazing against my flaming face.

I was ogling someone else in front of the man I loved. 

Good one Paislee.

But I couldn’t help it. That boy had a panty-dropping smile. Even my grandmother would’ve melted at the sight of him. I mean come on.

Quickly, I climbed back into the car and rested my head against the steering wheel. I needed a minute. The boys weren’t too far behind me, but just far enough that I could get my hormones in check. 

Being best friends with Josh, I was around hot guys all the time. This shouldn’t have been such a big deal. Maybe it was the whole cowboy thing, which by the way has never been something I’ve been into. I was more of a city girl.

Josh gave me a weird look as he climbed back into the passenger seat of my car. “You alright Lee?” He asked. 

“Yep,” I said popping the P. 

I drove back down the road the same way that I’d come in. Garrett shot off directions from the back of the car. 

Josh leaned over the console and whispered, “You sure you’re alright?”

I nodded.  

After a few minutes of the guys catching up, I felt back to normal. It was Josh’s birthday and I shouldn’t have been acting like such a weirdo. 

“So Paislee, right?” Tex asked.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“Josh said you’re going to school with us next semester.” I nodded. “You sure you’re ready for this rowdiness? These guys can get out of control sometimes.”

“I can hold my own.” I winked at Josh, who flashed me the sweetest grin. Suddenly the fact that I’d been drooling over Tex was history. Funny how Josh could make the whole world stop with that sweet smile of his, and he never knew he was doing it. Suddenly I thought about all of the girls on campus that he’d been flashing that smile at. 

Had he?

“So Garrett…” I started.

“Hey, hey pretty lady,” Garrett said as he popped his head up over the shoulder of my seat. 

I just shook my head, but Josh gave him one of those evil-eyed stares of his. 

“How many girls has my best friend here,” I stuck my thumb out at Josh, “brought home.”  

Laughter came from the back, and I hastily glanced over at Josh who looked to be quite amused with my question. I looked toward the backseat where Tex was covering his mouth, but I could still hear the snickers coming from him. It wasn’t meant to be a joke. I was actually serious. 

I felt Garrett gently rub my shoulder like he was silently consoling me. 

Glancing in my rearview mirror Garrett’s eyes were sad and his lips were tight. 

My dog didn’t die, people. 

Aww damn. I shrugged. 

I was always the last one to get things. 

That one stung a little, but I tried not to let it show.

“That many huh?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “You slut.” I smiled, but what I really wanted to do was cry. I should’ve never asked. 

Finally, we pulled through the gate of Fox’s house or should I say mansion. It was a sight for sore eyes. The vibe in the car was starting to suffocate me. I needed just a minute to myself, and was ready for the testosterone to exit the vehicle.

I maneuvered the car into the first parking spot I could find, and waited for the guys to get out first. As soon as the car was silent and I was alone, I checked my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t want to see any left over residue of jealousy or heartache. 

Game face on… 

Let’s do this.

I stepped out of the car and Josh was there to wrap a heavy arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go gorgeous. I need a drink.”

You and me both…

Gosh, he smelled good. The wind was blowing in just the right direction that I could smell his cologne, and I wanted to curl up with it. It smelled like Heaven.

We followed the sound of music through the front door of the house. As soon as we walked in, it was just like I figured it would be. People were scattered everywhere, there was a keg in every corner, and I’m pretty sure I saw a beer pong game going on in the distance. Or maybe it was… I retract my last statement. That was a game of strip something because I just saw a girl drop her skirt to the ground. Good thing she wasn’t commando. 

We must’ve been late because everyone seemed to be plastered already. 

My heart was hammering in my chest because I didn’t know anyone. I felt like a lost puppy stumbling onto a new lawn. I didn’t know what to expect. We hadn’t been in the doorway a fraction of a second before we were being herded around. People were swarming in behind us like they were paparazzi. 

Josh kept me firmly at his side so that I wouldn’t get trampled on. I shuddered when his voice whispered in my ear. “Let’s get something to drink.”

Looking up at him, I nodded. 

Walking through the main entrance and into the kitchen, a crowd of people yelled “Tex!” 

When I looked back, Jude was smiling. It was obvious that everyone knew who he was, and it didn’t go unnoticed that there were a few whistles in the crowd. By the look on his face, you could tell that he just overlooked them. 

It wasn’t like me to be so nervous. I think it was the Josh-Jude combo and too many pairs of eyes on me at once. 

Could someone dim the spotlight a little? The heat was burning holes into me.

“You’ve got some admirers, Buttercup.” Garrett’s tone was way too chipper, and thank goodness Josh didn’t hear him. I glared up at Garrett before rolling my eyes. I supposed a girl who walked into a party with three guys would draw some attention. Give me a break people.

Couldn’t they all go back to staring at Jude?

 Josh handed me a cup. I didn’t even ask what was in it. Instead, I lifted it up and took a quick drink. The disgusting taste of beer nearly gagged me. The stuff was rancid. For the life of me, I never believed that people actually liked the taste of beer. 

As the four of us stood around the island in the kitchen, someone called out Garrett’s name. He raced off in a hurry, letting us know he’d see us later. Then there were three. I was the cream filling in a Josh-Jude Oreo cookie. 

Josh tried talking to me a couple of times, but the music was too loud to hear him. You had to yell to have a conversation in this place. 

I clinked my red solo cup to his and mouthed the words Happy Birthday, before finishing off the last of my beer. 

“I need to pee,” I tried to tell Josh.

“Huh?” He replied. 

“Pee!” I yelled louder.

He kept eyeing me with a confused look on his face.

“She said she has to pee,” Jude yelled so loud that I was sure everyone heard him. Many sets of eyes were turned towards us, and both Josh and Jude were cracking up. I had to laugh too. It was pretty hilarious. 

Josh looked around, but I could tell he wasn’t sure where the bathroom was. Jude nodded his head in the direction behind us. Someone grabbed Josh’s attention before I could tell him I was heading to the bathroom, so I just held up a finger in his direction. I wouldn’t be gone long. 

I followed closely behind Jude through the array of people. We were held up a few times because the halls were so crowded. Stopping suddenly at the bottom of a staircase, I ran directly into the back of Jude. I wasn’t paying any attention. My eyes had been glued to my feet instead of watching what was happening in front of me. He turned around, his eyebrows raised, then smiled at me. He reached his hand out for mine, and with little hesitation, I interlocked my fingers with his. 

His large hand was warm against mine, and it strangely felt right as he led us up the stairs to the second floor. The music grew quieter, but the number of people was still ridiculous. 

There was a long line of females against the wall to the right, whom I assumed were waiting for a bathroom. There was no way I could wait in that line. I’d rather pop a squat outside. But Jude kept walking past them, pulling me in strides behind him. 

Every single girl in that line noticed us. They had starry-eyed gazes for him, and bitchy stares for me. I kind of thought it was funny. They thought he and I were together, which was the farthest thing from the truth. 

Easy ladies… There was no need to send the firing squad after me. My man was downstairs. 

The long stretch of hallway came to an end, and Jude opened up the last door on the left and closed it quickly behind us. The light flickered on inside the bedroom where we stood. 

“There is a bathroom through that door there,” he pointed at the door near the back of the room. 

Eyeing him for a moment, I couldn’t hold it any longer. As I walked towards the bathroom, I heard the lock click to the bedroom door. I turned back around wondering what the hell he was doing. I didn’t know him that well. I was about to go into fight or flight mode. 

“Just making sure no one tries to come in,” he said reassuringly. 

Damn, I still had to pee.

I shuffled quickly into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. After taking care of business, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was the moment that it finally dawned on me. It was the moment that I realized why everyone was quick to stare at me with Tex. I shook my head, and laughter took over. I had tears streaming down when I opened the door and walked back into my room. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

He hadn’t noticed either I guess. The two of us were oblivious and we clearly looked ridiculous. It must’ve been the reason that girls were about to rip off my head. Not only were we hand in hand, but the two of us were both sporting flannel shirts. It’s so weird. I noticed the shirt he was wearing earlier but didn’t give it another thought once I saw what was under it.  I had on a white short tank top that revealed my stomach with a dark blue flannel shirt over it. Yes, his was red but I thought it was freaking hilarious that we were matching. Those girls must’ve really thought I was his girlfriend. 

“Did you see the way those girls looked at me in the hallway when we walked through?”

He just shook his head. “I didn’t pay any attention to them.”

I pointed to his shirt then back at mine. 

“Yeah so.”

Boys, I swear. He had no clue. “We match. We’re both wearing flannel.”

“Yeah, and we both look good. I still don’t get it.” He had this funny look on his face. His nostrils were flared and one eyebrow was cocked up. 

That face of his made me laugh harder. 

“Those girls probably thought we planned it. Like you and I are a thing, and we wore matching outfits to the party. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous to you?” I queried. 

“Maybe the fact that we would have planned matching get-ups, but not the part about being a thing as you called it.” There was seriousness in his face. His eyes found mine and his gaze was so intense that I had to look away. The intensity of it could cause my heart to flutter off beat. “I’d be lucky to have someone as pretty as you as my thing.” He smiled, and I did too. Just the way he said the word “thing” would make you melt. That southern drawl was sexy. 

My mouth was suddenly dry and my palms were sweaty. I felt the need to get out of the room and get some fresh air. 

“We should go,” I said.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He reached out his hand again. My fingers twitched at my side, but I took his hand anyway. Sometimes your gut and your heart have to separate strings to your brain. My gut won. 

I let him lead the way back downstairs. We hadn’t been gone too long, but Josh wasn’t where I’d left him. I asked Garrett where he went, and he pointed to two double doors leading to the back of the house. I left Tex there with Garrett and walked out the back doors. There were several people around, but I didn’t see Josh. Peeking around every corner and through the crowds I couldn’t find him. There was a gate leading around the side of the house. I opened it slowly. 

“Oh shit, sorry,” I called out. There was a girl on her knees in front of a guy, and I didn’t have to let my thoughts wander too far to know what she was doing. The blonde haired girl turned around and I stood frozen in front of the fully erect penis in front of me.

“Lee.”

Oh God. It was Josh. My eyes met his and I couldn’t even tell you what happened next. I got out of there so quickly that you could’ve mistaken me for FLASH. 

I don’t know if he followed me. I didn’t turn back around to see. The heels of my boots clanked across the walkway as I ran back inside. People were probably staring but my vision was so blurred that I wouldn’t have noticed. 

“Garrett,” I said breathlessly. 

“What’s wrong?” He grabbed hold of my shoulders as I tried to catch my breath.

“I have to go. Can you guys call a cab, or find another ride home?” I just had to get out of there. 

Fast.

“Uh, yeah. Are you sure everything is okay? Where’s Josh?”

“Outside,” I replied. “I have to go.”

“Okay.”

I moved as fast as I could through the crowd of people and out the front door. 

“Paislee!” Tex yelled. I knew it was him from the accent in his voice. I didn’t stop though. I kept running straight to my car. He caught up with me.

“Hey! What’s wrong? You okay?” 

I rummaged through my purse for my keys. “I have to go.” That was all I could say.

“I’ll come with you.” He touched my shoulder and I flinched.

“I’m going back home. Garrett said you all could find a ride home.”

He touched my shoulder again, but my breathing had slowed and I didn’t flinch this time. I turned around to look at him, and my eyes were filled with unshed tears. 

“You shouldn’t be driving like this. Get in the passenger seat, and we can go back to my house.”

Oh, I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even think straight. I pulled the string that was attached to my heart this time. “I can’t. I’ve got to go.” 

I slammed the car door behind me and pulled out of there as quickly as I could. 

I rolled my windows down all the way so that the freezing night air would keep me from crying. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t. 

The only thought that kept replaying in my mind was that he was going to know. Because I ran, he’d know that I had feelings for him. My cover was up, and I didn’t know what that meant for me. 

“He’s a guy for crying out loud!” I yelled to myself. 

It was a blowjob. 

Geez, it hurt. It was hurting like hell. Knowing about the other girls, and seeing it was two very different things. I didn’t know how I was going to erase the memory of that from my brain. 

He was my best friend. We’d been through everything together. I had to tell him now. There was no way around it. I never wanted anyone else touching him but me. 

I pulled the car off the side of the road and locked the doors. Then I cried. I let it all out. I cried because I was afraid, because I was sad, and because things would soon change and I feared rejection more than anything. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Josh. 

Garrett said you left. Call me when you get home. I’m sorry babe.

I cried even harder then texted back. 

It’s okay. Happy Birthday.

I was such a liar. It wasn’t okay. I just wanted to go home and pretend this night didn’t happen. Once I got myself back together, I pulled back onto the road and headed in the direction of home.