Harley and Brad come home today. It’s been three days since my date with Dylan, and even though I’ve not seen him, he texts me every day. Harley and I have so much to catch up on since I didn’t want to bother her on her honeymoon. I already know how she feels about Dylan and me, but I need to talk to someone about all of this.
We agreed to meet at the park today; I need to have her undivided attention and no witnesses. Pulling in, I see her already sitting at the picnic table, Subway bag in front of her.
“Well hello there, Mrs. Harris,” I say, walking up behind her. She’s beaming when I sit down. “Looks like the honeymoon was a success.”
“It was amazing,” she gushes. “So what’s up? You sounded a little stressed on the phone.”
“Not stressed exactly, confused is more like it. I have so much to tell you.”
“You talk, I’ll eat. I’m starving.” She opens her sandwich and takes a big bite. She offered to grab me one as well, but I had a late breakfast.
“Okay, so the night of your wedding…” I spend the next twenty minutes catching her up on everything that’s happened with Dylan since that night. She’s surprisingly quiet as I give her all the juicy details. When I finish, she doesn’t say anything at first, just studies me.
“You want my opinion on what you should do? Or do you want to know what I think about everything that’s happened up to this point?”
“Both?” I need to be able to see this from all angles.
“Okay, but I’m going to be honest with you. You might not like it, and he might not either, but I think it’s time.”
“What are you talking about?”
She stands, gathers her trash, and tosses it in a nearby can. “Let’s take a walk.” I stand and follow her. We walk for several minutes in silence. “You know I think you’re hiding behind the pain, that you’re not taking the time to see Dylan’s side of things.”
“Yeah, I’ve actually thought a lot about that the past week.”
“Good. There’s more to it than that.” She takes a deep breath. “So what I’m about to tell you is probably going to piss you off, but you need to know that we did it because we love you. He loves you.”
“You’re really starting to freak me out.”
“Dylan loves you, Avery. I know that because he checked up on you.”
“What do you mean he checked up on me?”
“At school. He would be in the shadows, but always looking out for you.”
“How?” What the hell is she talking about? “I left town when he came to visit.”
She nods. “You did, but there were other times. Like the time you were in that play sophomore year. He was there.”
“How did he…? You told him?” I’m not sure how I’m feeling right now.
“Not that time. That was your parents, or maybe it was Alan.”
“What?” I grab her arm and pull her to a stop. “Dumb this down for me, Harley. It sounds like you’re trying to tell me that my family, you, and Brad gave Dylan a play-by-play of my life.”
“We kind of did. Just big things, like the play or when you were honored for your volunteer work with that inner-city school. He was there for that too.”
“Is that it?”
“No. When Brad and I came home that week, junior year, he went to Western, stayed at Brad’s apartment, and kept an eye on you.”
“What do you mean kept an eye on me?”
“I mean I told him where you would be each night after I would talk to you, and Dylan was there to keep you safe.”
“Are you fucking crazy? Why would you do that? Keep me safe? He fucking broke me, Harley.”
“You had a hand in that too, Avery. It wasn’t just Dylan. You refused to see any other option except for the one you had in your head.”
“Oh, so now it’s my fault. What about Dylan? He wanted it to be his way or the highway. Guess what? I got the fucking highway. He dumped me.”
“He did. You were both scared and so in love that you didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Look at you. Now that you’re married, you’re an expert on relationships?”
“I know you’re upset, but we did it because we care about you.”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “Leave my safety in the hands of the one guy who single-handedly tore my heart to shreds.”
“He loves you and you love him. Why are you fighting it?”
“I’m not. That’s not love, it’s an obsession.”
“Come on now, you’re overreacting just a tad, don’t you think?
“What’s it matter what I think? Everyone else always fucking decides for me.” I turn to head back to my car.
“Where are you going?”
“Away.”
“Avery!” she yells as she runs to catch up with me, reaching out for my arm.
“Don’t,” I say through gritted teeth. “I can’t be around you right now.” I take off running and when I get to my car, she’s not following me. With shaking hands, I manage to dial the one person who hasn’t betrayed me, at least not that I know of.
“Kara.” I begin to cry as soon as she answers.
“Avery, are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”
“Are you with Alan?”
“No, he’s meeting with the coaching staff. What’s going on?”
“I need a place to stay just for a night or two. Can I stay with you?”
“Of course you can. Where are you? Do I need to come and get you?” I can hear the worry in her voice. She’s going to think I’m a nutcase.
“I’m fine. Yes, I can drive. I’ll be there soon.” I toss my phone in the cup holder. As soon as I pull into Kara’s driveway, my phone rings. Looking down at the screen, I see Harley’s name. I send it straight to voice mail. Phone, keys, and purse in hand, I make my way to the front door. Kara is there, arms open wide. I fall into them and let the tears fall.
“Let’s get you inside.”
I blindly follow her inside through the tears. She guides me to the couch and I fall into the soft cushions. My phone rings but I don’t bother looking at the screen from where it’s clutched in my hand.
“It’s Dylan,” she says softly.
I laugh humorlessly. “I’m sure it is. Harley more than likely called him. I’m sure she’s going to call my parents and Alan too. They’re all traitors.”
“That doesn’t sound good. You want something to drink?” she asks, handing me a box of tissues.
“No, thanks.” I grab a handful of tissues and dry my face.
“You want to talk about it?”
I spill the story, what little of it I actually know. I was so angry, I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details.
“How could they do that to me?” My phone rings—it’s Mom. I send it to voice mail.
“They’re going to worry about you.”
“I know, but I don’t want to talk to any of them right now.”
“How about I call your parents and let them know you’re here and you just need some time. I’ll send Alan a text, and you can handle Dylan and Harley.”
“They can suffer through it. But yeah, calling Mom and Dad’s fine. Tell them not to come here. I just… need a minute to process.” Silent tears roll down my cheeks as Kara calls my parents and then my brother. I listen as she assures them that I’m okay and that they need to just give me some time.
“Thank you, Kara. I’m so sorry to barge in on you like this.”
“You’re fine. It’ll be good to have a girls’ night.”
“I’m not much for good company,” I say, grabbing another tissue from the box.
“Everyone needs a good cry now and then. You hungry? I just finished some spaghetti for dinner. Join me?”
“I’m not that hungry, but thank you.”
“Nope. You’re staying here, you eat with me. I hate to eat alone, and since I just told my date for the night to stay home, you’re next in line.”
“I’m sorry.” I hang my head. How did everything get so screwed up?
“Eat. That’s the only apology I need.”
Nodding, I stand and follow her into the kitchen. “You know, I don’t agree with them keeping that from you all these years, but I really do believe their hearts were in the right place.”
“They lied to me.”
“Did they? I mean, it seems to me they cared so much about you that they wanted you to be happy. They all know that you two being together is what’s going to make you both happy.”
“And you know this how?”
She shrugs. “Dylan, mostly.”
“Dylan? Not you too.”
She holds her hands up in surrender. “No, but I’ve spent some time with him, when he and Alan are going over plays.”
“Plays?”
“Shit,” she whispers.
“What else am I missing?” I close my eyes and wait for the blow.
“Dylan is your brother’s assistant coach.”
“How did I not know this?”
“My guess is everyone thought they were protecting you.”
“By lying?”
“Not lying, withholding information. None of them have actually lied to you, at least not from the details I’ve been given.”
My phone vibrates with a text. Glancing down at the screen, I see it’s from Dylan. I ignore it and go back to my plate of spaghetti.
“You’re not going to answer him?”
“Why should I?”
“Let me ask you this. What if the roles were reversed? What if Dylan had the full ride and wanted to give it up for you? What if you found out he was just given information about how you kept up with his football career and even went to a few games when he thought you ended things and never looked back?”
“That’s not what happened.”
“Humor me. What if?”
“It’s a free country. I can go see a football game,” I say stubbornly.
“It is,” she agrees. “Same goes for plays, right?”
Shit. “They kept it from me.”
“Look, Avery. I’ve been through some things.” She pauses taking a deep breath. “I was almost raped my freshman year of college. It was just me and my grandfather, who didn’t get around real well. I didn’t have a Dylan or an Alan.” She smiles softly. “I had no one to turn to. No one who was worried enough about me to watch over me. No one who was physically able, anyway.”
“Kara, oh my God. Are you okay?” I look over her like I’ll be able to see physical signs of her abuse.
“I’m fine. A janitor for the school heard a noise and decided to check it out. He saved me. I didn’t tell you this so you would feel sorry for me. That’s the hand I was dealt, and it could’ve been so much worse than what it was. I still have a hard time sleeping, and I don’t like being out at dark on my own. Alan has been amazingly patient with me. I just want you to know that there are worse things, you know? Yeah, Dylan kept tabs on you with the help of your friends and family, but think about that for a minute. Look past the anger and the betrayal that you’re feeling and really think about it. That’s a love so deep it never fades, Avery. Sometimes in life you have to let go of the past in order to see the future clearly.”
I close my eyes and let her words sink in.
“When you see your future, not the one you’ve planned the last four years but the future you see when you close your eyes and dream of happiness, what do you see?”
“Dylan.” I don’t even hesitate. “I’ve always seen Dylan.”
“I think you have your answer.”
“I agreed to take it slow, you know. Just one day at a time. We even went out on Saturday, but then today…”
“Today, your world tilted a little, but it’s up to you to put it back right. You choose, Avery. You say Dylan is what you see. Are you willing to put in the time and the work to see if you two have what it takes?”
“I still love him,” I confess. Admitting it out loud seems to bring clarity to the situation.
“Then fight for him. Fight for love. Stick with the plan and see where it takes you.”
Standing from my chair, I walk to the other side of the table and give her a hug. “Thank you, Kara. I needed to hear all of that.”
“Kind of my job.” She smiles.
My face falls. Of course. She’s a social worker.
“Not what I mean, Avery. I love your brother. He’s my only family at this point, though I hope one day that changes and I can add you and your parents to that list. Maybe even Dylan?” she winks.
I can’t help but smile at her. She’s right. I need to let the anger go and move forward.
I want Dylan. I need to keep an open mind and see where our love can take us.