Instead of going back to my own room last night, I stayed with Harley. We stayed up way later than we should’ve, just talking about well everything. I was waiting for her to bring Dylan up again, but she never did. Of course, I didn’t either, even though I’ve done nothing but think about what she said the other day, and about Dylan and our time together. Then I remember that day it all ended and the years we lost and I get angry. I’m just not sure who I’m angry at anymore.
“Today’s the day,” Harley says from her spot next to me in this king-sized bed.
“It is. Are you nervous?”
“Nope. I’m so ready to do this. What time is it? We have hair appointments at ten.”
“It’s a few minutes before nine.”
“Okay, well, breakfast is being delivered here at nine thirty in this suite, with hair and makeup immediately after.”
“No chance in seeing the guys?”
“Not a single one.” She laughs. “Before I forget, I have something for you.”
“You already gave me my gift last night.” She gave each of us a long-sleeve button-up shirt with our initials embroidered on the pocket. They’ll come in handy today so we don’t mess up our hair or makeup when we’re getting dressed.
“Here.” She hands me a small black box.
Opening the lid, I find a heart-shaped locket. Opening it, I feel tears prick my eyes. Instead of pictures, there is a small piece of paper on each side. On the left it reads “maid of honor today” and “best friend forever” on the right. “I love you, Harls. I’m so happy for you,” I say, wiping tears.
“I love you too.” She hugs me tight. “Okay, enough of that. Let me call the girls before breakfast gets here.”
The rest of the morning passes in a blur of breakfast, hair, makeup, and dresses. The suite is a whirlwind of activity, and then there’s a knock at the door telling us it’s time to make our way downstairs.
“Make sure Brad is already down there. I’m not risking him seeing me,” Harley tells June, the wedding coordinator.
“I’ve already double-checked. He’s in his place, and the groomsmen are waiting on these lovely ladies.”
I take a deep breath, trying not to panic at all the time I’ll have to spend with Dylan tonight. Last night’s rehearsal wasn’t so bad, but it brought back memories and feelings. I just need to stay focused on Harley and get through this night; then we can go back to status quo like the last three weeks.
With one final check for each of us and an extra for the bride at her insistence, we make our way downstairs.
“Places,” June says, causing a flurry of activity while we all pair up.
Dylan joins me at the back of the line and offers me his arm. I take it, pretending like this isn’t my Dylan, that he’s just another groomsman. That plan is short-lived when he leans down and whispers, “You take my breath away, Aves.”
I don’t have time to reply before the line starts to move. I stare straight ahead, and as soon as the two in front of us start down the aisle, I plaster on a big-ass fake smile and follow Dylan’s lead.
When we reach the front, we’re supposed to just part ways, but Dylan has other plans. He pulls my hand to his lips and places a kiss on my knuckles. It happens so fast that he’s already let me go and is walking toward his spot beside Brad before I can comprehend what just happened. Thankfully, I’m on autopilot and find my place at the front of the line without making a spectacle of myself.
The wedding is flawless—well, unless you count my smeared makeup. Dylan kept his gaze on me the entire time. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t help but think that this could’ve been us. He took that away. I know he loved me—you can’t fake what we shared—but he was so quick to end us.
But was Harley right? Am I being selfish hiding behind the pain and not willing to see the forest for the trees?
Before I know it, the ceremony is over; now it’s time to link up with Dylan again. I take the arm he offers and let him lead me to the big hallway just outside of the formal dining room. Just like last night, he steps a little behind me and places his hand on the small of my back. I want to tell him to move it, but I miss the warmth of his touch and I don’t want to ruin the night for the newlyweds. Instead I’m going to pretend. I know it’s wrong, but for the next however many minutes I have to stand here to greet guests, I’m going to pretend that Dylan is still mine and that we’re next.
It’s not a new dream for me, not even close.
After the final group of guests are through the line, June appears. “Wedding party, enter just as you walked down the aisle. Please take your seats at the front table.”
Dylan offers me his arm, but this time he rests his hand over mine in the crook of his elbow. I can’t pull away, nor do I really want to. He walks me to my seat and pulls my chair out for me. I slide into it and scoot a little closer to the table. I thought Dylan was gone until I feel a kiss on the top of my head. My face heats from his attention, in front of everyone we know. Looking out to the crowd, I see Mom and Dad both smiling at me, which is not what I would’ve expected after what just happened.
“You’re glowing,” I say to Harley once she and Brad are seated.
“We did it.” She has the biggest, brightest smile I’ve ever seen gracing her face.
“Being married looks good on you,” I tell her.
“Your damn right it does.” Brad leans in and kisses her, the crowd clapping and cheering for them.
Dinner is served and I pick at it, my stomach in knots for the next step of the night. One dance and then I’m off the hook. I can do this. He’s just Dylan. We have a past, that’s it. I can do this.
“Can I have Mr. and Mrs. Harris on the dance floor?” Jane announces over the PA.
I watch the two of them, so in love. Back then, Dylan was all I wanted; I know Harley felt the same for Brad, and they did it. They made it work. I’m so happy for the both of them.
Just as the song comes to an end, the guests start chanting “kiss,” which drowns out the music. The happy couple don’t disappoint as Brad tips her back and kisses her.
“Can we have the rest of the wedding party out on the dance floor?” Jane calls through the PA.
Before I can scoot my chair back, Dylan is there, helping me and then offering me his hand. Knowing that all eyes not on the bride and groom are on us, I take his hand and allow him to lead me to the dance floor as Brett Young’s “In Case You Didn’t Know” begins to play. I’m tempted to run from the room, but instead I keep the smile on my face and allow Dylan to take me in his arms.
“It’s me, baby,” he says next to my ear.
I want to yell at him, scream that he can’t keep calling me that. He lost the right when he dumped me. But I hold my tongue. Not even a minute being in his arms and I’m fighting the pull to rest against his chest like I always used to.
“I got you,” he says and pulls me tighter.
I give in and rest my head on his chest as Brett sings to us. He could be singing for me. I wonder if Dylan feels the same. Will I ever know? Probably not if I keep freezing him out. I’m beginning to think Harley might be right. She’s going to love hearing that.
When the song comes to an end, I know I have to pull away from him. As of right now, my commitments that involve Dylan are complete; I have no reason to stay out here with him. Lifting my head, I try to step away, but Dylan holds on strong.
“One more, Aves. Please, baby, let me hold you just one more?” His voice is pleading. Which confuses the hell out of me.
“Dylan.” His name on my lips is also a plea. “We can’t do this,” I finally say.
Surprisingly, he leaves one hand on the small of my back and leads me back to the table.
I made it through the dance, but my heart is aching for him, for what we could have had, for what it seems like he might be offering.
A waiter places a new glass of champagne in front of me and I drain it quickly, motioning for another. I need to forget, just for a little while.