Chapter 10
Days later, and Lily didn’t have the guts to call Gideon out on their arrangement, or the kiss. But her body burned every time she thought about it. There was only so much patience she could manage, however, and tonight after Claire went to sleep, she was going to ask him.
She and Claire returned to their apartment from work and camp that evening. She unlocked her door, swung it open and stopped short on the threshold. The stench of stale sweat assaulted her nostrils and she gripped the doorjamb in panic. Her typically tidy apartment resembled home base for a whirling dervish—overturned furniture, broken dishes on the floor, papers pulled out of drawers. Oh my God, what is this? Who did this? Questions swirled through her mind as her body twitched. Her brain accelerated in a million different directions—call the police, such an awful mess, impossible to clean, so much work to do tonight. Only when Claire whimpered did Lily realize her fingers dug into her shoulders. She pried her fingers away as she grabbed Claire in a big hug.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Claire asked. Panic edged her voice.
“Shhh, it’s okay honey, it’s okay,” Lily whispered. Her hollow tone seemed to come from far away and did nothing to reassure her, never mind Claire. “There’s a little problem with our apartment, though. Let’s go over to Samantha’s for a while, okay?”
They crossed the hall. Lily clenched her teeth in an effort not to run, terrified whomever destroyed her apartment would come after them. For Claire’s sake, she made herself slow her steps. She thought about when she and Daniel lived in their house in Philadelphia. Whenever she was home at night, she’d race up the stairs after shutting off all the lights, thinking someone was downstairs trying to get her. Daniel would laugh at her and give her a hug, saying it was only her vivid imagination. Still, she kept an upstairs light on at night whenever she was home alone, so she didn’t walk upstairs in total darkness. This apartment always felt safe. But today, the boogeyman was real, and had already wreaked havoc on her home.
Thankfully, Samantha answered the door quickly. When she saw the expressions on their faces, she ushered them inside. “What’s wrong?”
Lily moved numbly to the sofa and pulled Claire onto her lap, wrapping her arms tightly around the child. “I think we were robbed.” After she explained the details to Samantha, her friend grabbed the phone. Her first call was to the police; her second, to Gideon.
Lily couldn’t let go of Claire and she rocked back and forth. Thoughts of what could have happened if they were home when the break-in occurred made her shake. Samantha sat next to her on the sofa and patted her shoulder gently.
When the doorbell rang, Samantha answered it and let the police officers in. While they interviewed Lily and accompanied her to the apartment to determine if anything was missing, she left Claire with Samantha. By the time Lily finished talking to the police officers, her limbs were heavy and her eyelids drooped. A little money and a few pieces of jewelry had been taken.
As they gathered evidence, she surveyed her apartment. How could she put her apartment, and her life, back together? For it truly felt like whoever did this altered her life. She didn’t feel safe or in control. Her apartment no longer felt like her own. She’d worked hard to make it feel homey, comfortable, welcoming. The person entered, moved things, and destroyed things—thing that were all hers, things that were part of her life and Claire’s. Now, his imprint was on them and she hated him. Why had he picked her apartment?
A noise behind her startled her, and she suppressed a scream as she whirled around. Gideon approached her, but she couldn’t move. He stopped a few feet away. “It’s just me, Lil. I didn’t mean to scare you, honey.”
His words washed over her in soothing waves and she took a deep breath. Gideon. The man whose kiss she still couldn’t forget. He kept his eyes glued to her face as he closed the last few feet between them.
She compressed her lips, as if by keeping her mouth closed she could control the fear in her belly that threatened to overwhelm her. She swallowed metallic-tasting bile as she waited for the fear to disappear. She wrapped her arms around her middle, her knuckles white where they gripped her shirt. He glanced around the apartment.
“Go pack a bag, Lil, and come to my place.”
His words made no sense. “What?” Why would he want me to come to his apartment now? It’s late at night.
“You shouldn’t stay here tonight.” He took one of her hands and rubbed it. The heat from his fingers burned her icy skin and she pulled it away.
“I can’t leave my stuff here. Someone might take it.”
Behind his glasses, his eyes were dark with compassion, his voice soothing. “It’s all right, Lily. Everything is going to be fine.”
The stillness deepened as his words sunk in. Faint traces of sweat from the intruder permeated the apartment. Lily didn’t want to stay here, and she would have to put the place back together before she and Claire could live here again. Claire.
“What about Claire? I have to go to her. She must be scared.” Lily’s hair whipped around her face as she moved one way then another in an effort to maneuver around Gideon and all of the stuff on the floor. She felt like a bird with a broken wing, which tried to fly but remained on the ground, flapping aimlessly. Instead of letting her go, he blocked her in. When she’d stilled, he spoke.
“Claire’s fine, Lil. She’s with Samantha. I checked on them before I came over and Samantha was just putting her to bed.”
Lily teared up at the thought of Claire being frightened and not having her mom to soothe her. “I should go to her.”
“She’s fine, and probably already asleep. Just pack a small bag for her and we’ll drop it off on the way to my apartment.”
Lily was numb as Gideon moved out of the way and she entered Claire’s room. Remarkably, it was barely disturbed. Still, her anger boiled over when she saw Claire’s hippo on the floor underneath the one bookshelf that was knocked over. Fueled by her anger, she strode around, rescued the hippo and filled a bag with Claire’s clothes. “I’m not leaving here. He may have destroyed this place, but he won’t destroy my home. I won’t let him make me leave.” She stared at Gideon, who had followed her into the room – legs planted wide, nails biting into her palms.
His eyes gleamed. “Would you like company?”
Relief flooded through her. No matter how resolute she’d suddenly become about staying in her apartment, she was scared to death to be alone here. She started to reconsider Gideon’s offer, but it would be harder to return tomorrow. Better to stay and deal with this face on. “Yes, please.” Her voice was barely a whisper. He squeezed her fingers and released her.
“I’ll just pack some of my extra things from Samantha’s and I’ll be right back. Are you okay alone for a minute?”
She nodded yes as her mind screamed, No! Rather than stay in the empty apartment, she followed him without a word and stood in her open doorway until he returned, grateful he didn’t comment. As she leaned against her doorjamb, the carved edges jutting into her back, a man rushed down the hall. He met Gideon at the door of Samantha’s apartment.
“Gideon, is Samantha alright?”
“Tony, she’s fine,” he answered, frowning.
“I heard the call on the police radio and I thought something happened to her.”
“Oh, no, it wasn’t her apartment.” Gideon pointed to Lily, and Tony stepped forward. “Lily, this is Tony. He’s a friend and ex-cop, in addition to being the director of the community center.”
“Hi.” Lily was too tired to say more, and too afraid to go into her apartment alone, so she waited while the two men finished their discussion. She kept her focus on Gideon as he told Tony what happened. His presence kept her grounded.
“Would you mind looking into it, Tony?”
“Sure thing. I’ll check with some buddies of mine and let you know what I find out.”
When Tony departed, Gideon returned to her, and she followed him into her apartment. She hunched her shoulders.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. There’s nowhere for either of us to sleep.”
Gideon wheeled over to an overturned end table.
“Grab the other end.” The suddenness of his command snapped Lily out of her despair and she sprang into action. They set it back on its legs. While Gideon fixed the cushions on the sofa, Lily moved stuff from the floor to make pathways for them to get by. After a few minutes, the living room was livable, barely. He came to her and stroked her back. “How’s your room?”
“A disaster,” she said in a monotone. She straightened her shoulders and walked down the hall. He followed her. They replaced the sheets—she threw the old ones out—cleared the floor and restored some semblance of order. She collapsed onto the bed. He came to her and took both of her hands in his, cocooning them and making her feel safe.
“Why don’t you get undressed…” she raised her eyebrows “…while I wait outside. We’ll talk when you’re finished.”
Heat radiated through Lily as Gideon left her bedroom. For someone who seemed to want their relationship to be all business, he treated her like he wanted more. And if she were honest with herself, and not too tired to think of anything else, she’d agree. Because she was definitely interested in him. Unfortunately, now wasn’t the time to discuss it with him.
Lily surveyed her surroundings and shivered. This was her room, but it didn’t feel like it. Her belongings were strewn everywhere. She’d swear a thousand pair of eyes watched her every move. Whoever had invaded her apartment had touched her things and destroyed her safety and security. Not wanting to be alone in here any longer than necessary, she tore off her clothes, grabbed boxers and a not-too-revealing T-shirt and threw them on. She opened the door and a flicker of emotion flitted across Gideon’s face. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought it might be anger. He masked it, but a telltale vein protruded from his forehead.
Unable to focus on anything, she paced around the apartment, picked up random things and placed them in drawers. He started to follow her, but she doubled back and too many near misses and mumbled apologies made him give up and watch her. She should try to calm down, but she couldn’t stay still. Her insides roiled, her heart raced and hot and cold streaks ran down her spine. Her gaze flitted around the room, only pausing occasionally when she met Gideon’s steady gaze. It beckoned her, and she wanted to drown in their chocolaty depths, but she panicked whenever she slowed down. She snatched what comfort she could from his presence and abandoned herself to her nervous energy. Finally, she sank to her knees in exhaustion. The nap of the rug dug into her knees, but she was too tired to move. He rested his palm on top of her head and the heat from his touch warmed her scalp.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered.
How did he know that? She stiffened, unable to fully believe him, but she was desperate to rely on him. He made it seem so easy. She rested her cheek on his knee. He continued to stroke her hair and she relaxed. Her scalp tingled and the rough feel of his khakis scratched her cheek. They made her feel safe, protected. Tears wetted her cheeks.
“I’m sorry about your pants.”
Gideon traced the tear splotches on his knees with the tips of his fingers. “It’s okay, Lil.”
“What am I going to do? How am I going to set all of this to rights again, never mind live here?” She gestured around the room, her shoulders slumped.
“Come with me.” He pulled her to her feet. His grip was firm, yet gentle, and his muscles bulged beneath his shirtsleeves. She followed him into her bedroom. He paused at her bed, pulled back the covers and fluffed her pillow. He guided her toward the bed. She sat and faced him. “Why don’t you lie down and try to get some sleep. In the morning, we’ll fix this place up and you’ll feel much better.”
She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’ve got so much to do for work. I completely forgot about it!” She fluttered her hands in the air and Gideon grabbed them and held them to his chest.
“It’s going to be fine. Is there someone you can call to explain what happened?” She nodded and he offered her the phone. She dialed Anne and spoke to her for ten minutes, about seven of which she spent reassuring her she was okay. She hung up the phone. “Why don’t you rest now,” he suggested.
“What about you?” He was her guest after all and she didn’t want to leave him to fend for himself. The manners ingrained by her mother couldn’t be ignored, even on a night like tonight.
He gave her a lopsided smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’m more concerned with you right now.”
Too exhausted to argue with him, she lay on the bed. Gideon shut off the light and rolled toward the door. He was leaving. “Gideon, wait.” She sat in bed and clutched the covers. Images of intruders and monsters flitted through her mind.
He turned and she lit the lamp next to her bed. She remained quiet with her jaw clenched as she kneaded the covers between her fingers. He came toward her and pried open her fingers.
“Shhhh, it’s okay. Would you like me to stay a while?”
With a mute nod, she lay on the pillow and drew her knees to her chest, the blanket to her chin. She hated feeling weak and afraid, but she couldn’t shake the thought that whoever broke into her apartment was still there. Gideon stroked her hair. After a few moments, exhaustion took over and she closed her eyes. Suddenly, she opened them and pinned Gideon with her gaze. “What’s that?” she asked. A low noise, more of a vibration, penetrated her drowsy fog.
Startled, he frowned. “What is what?”
“That tune you’re humming.”
“I’m not humming a tune.”
“Yes you are.” She sat and the corners of her mouth stretched into a smile.
He sat still for a moment and turned a deep shade of red. “I do not hum.”
Lily smirked and raised one eyebrow.
He glared at her and sighed. “It was just a tune my mom used to hum to me when I was a child. For some reason it popped into my mind and I just started humming. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it.”
She relaxed and lay down. “It’s nice,” she said and smiled to herself. He hums.
****
Early the next morning, Gideon helped Lily straighten her apartment. He was reassured to see she was more like herself. Her cheeks were rosy, she sounded more rational, and she bantered with him a little as they moved furniture and put things away. Even so, she started whenever she heard an unexpected noise, and she remained wherever he was.
He’d be a liar if he didn’t say he enjoyed spending the time with her. The business arrangement he’d made with her ensured he’d see her socially occasionally, and let him pretend while they were together they were more than friends. But helping her after the burglary and having her depend on him filled a need he didn’t realize he had. He’d never wish this to happen to anyone, but he was glad he was the one to be able to be there for her. A protective instinct rose from deep within him. Still, there were some things he couldn’t do, so he called the one man he trusted above all others.
“Tony, it’s Gideon. Did you find out any more about Lily’s robbery?” Although Tony wasn’t a cop, he still possessed contacts in the department, and often helped the boys at the center out of jams when possible.
“There have been a number of them in the area, and the cops are checking out some new leads.”
“I don’t like to ask you for favors, but could you keep on top of this and let me know what happens?”
“She means that much to you?”
Gideon pushed his glasses up his nose and swallowed hard. He held the phone in a steel-like grip and turned away from Lily as he struggled to answer. “Yes.” Grinding out that one word took more effort than his first three months of physical therapy combined. Sweat popped on the nape of his neck and he rushed to brush it away. He hadn’t experienced this need, this desire, for a woman in years, hadn’t wanted to. But he did now.
“No problem, Gideon. I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything. Why don’t we meet for dinner tonight and I can fill you both in?”
Both. Like a couple. Something settled deep inside of him. “Thanks Tony, I appreciate it.” He found Lily at her desk, making a list of the damages. Her pen rasped over the paper, and Gideon was pleased to see she no longer jumped at every random noise.
“There’s so much to list. I have no idea if the insurance company is going to cover all of this.”
“Don’t worry, Lil, it’s what they’re there for.” He took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “I asked Tony to use his connections and keep us informed, okay? He’ll tell us everything tonight at dinner.” He leaned over and brushed the hair out of her face. His knuckles grazed the side of her face and he traced her jaw with his finger. Her combination of delicacy and strength would forever fascinate him. Mesmerized, he stared into her eyes, which changed again from sage to emerald. Their gazes locked and like the lens of a camera, everything around them lost focus.
There was no destroyed apartment, no wheelchair, no dead husband, and no anger. Just the two of them. Their breathing increased. The tip of Lily’s tongue moisten her lips—the lips he’d kissed—and he clamped his own mouth shut to stifle a groan. Despite his attempt to remain unmoved, his nostrils flared and Lily’s gaze shifted. They leaned toward each other. She swallowed and her throat constricted. He trailed the milky white column to her clavicle with his gaze. His fingers itched to caress her skin as its color changed from milky white to peach to a shadowy café au lait between her breasts. He was so close he smelled her light fragrance – a mixture of shampoo, soap and desire.
And as suddenly, he averted his gaze.
Gideon cleared his throat and excused himself. He should put distance between them. She’d been traumatized. This wasn’t the time to be lusting after her. Theirs was a business arrangement, nothing more. No matter how much he might want there to be.
For the rest of the day, Lily organized the apartment and dealt with her insurance company. Gideon divided his time between helping her and calling into work. As they passed by each other, their bodies touched casually—her arm against his shoulder, their hands as they reached for the same pen—and electricity crackled between them. Neither of them mentioned it, although often he caught her staring at him, and when he did the same to her, she’d look up and see him doing it. With a blush, Lily folded and refolded Claire’s clothes three times; Gideon misdialed Stella then hung up on her twice.
By the time Claire got home from camp, he was desperate for a break—ignoring their physical attraction had drained him more than their physical labor. Claire squealed when she saw him, and the two of them drew and played board games for the rest of the afternoon. Lily took a nap and joined them for a last game of Trouble.
When it was finished, the three of them went to Jonah’s to meet Tony.
Small and quiet, the restaurant specialized in seafood. The décor played off of the “Jonah and the Whale” theme. It was apparently one of Claire’s favorite places to go because each booth resembled the mouth of a whale. They met Tony outside and went in to find a table. The aroma of butter, garlic and spices made Gideon’s mouth water.
As Claire told him all about the restaurant, Lily and Tony talked. His friend broke the ice with trivial things—sports teams: she was a Yankees fan, while he was a die-hard Mets fanatic; movies: she loved anything by JJ Abrams, while he required hot chicks and lots of action; and food: he loved Thai, she loved chocolate. Afterward, he told her what the police knew so far about the robbery.
It wasn’t much.
The conversation over, he changed the subject and they ate dinner. As usual, the fish melted in their mouths, and he smiled as butter dripped down everyone’s chins. Claire’s fried shrimp crunched and made everyone laugh. When Lily learned Tony and Gideon had been friends since childhood, she interrogated them, and much to Gideon’s chagrin, Tony regaled the table with escapades from their past. Unlike Samantha’s stories, for some reason, Tony’s didn’t bother him. In fact, he loved Lily’s reaction to his past. It made him feel a bond with her. Everyone enjoyed the meal, and even Gideon loosened up. Tony also kept Claire entertained with stories of the boys from the community center.
“We have a great basketball team, you know,” he said, with a wink at Gideon.
“I don’t like basketball,” Claire said.
“Oh no? Well, do you know who our coach is?”
“No, who?”
“Gideon.”
Claire’s eyes got huge. “Really? Can I come watch a game?”
Tony asked, “But I thought you didn’t like basketball?”
“That was before you told me Gideon was the coach. I like basketball when he coaches.” She shot him an adoring look and Gideon smiled.
“Claire, honey, you don’t even know what basketball is,” chided Lily.
“I do too, Mom. There’s a basket and you have to get the ball in it,” Claire replied hotly. Gideon stifled a laugh.
“Sounds like she’s ready to join the team,” cut in Tony.
“Can I please?” she asked Gideon.
“Well, Claire, why don’t you come watch us play before you decide, okay?” Gideon kissed the top of her head. “You might find out you still don’t like basketball, even if I’m the coach.”
“Okay,” she grumbled and shot a pleading look at her mom. “Can we go tomorrow, Mommy, please?”
Lily bit her lip. “Let’s wait and see, okay sweetie?”
“Maybe you’d like to spend some time at the center with me and the boys one day after camp?” Gideon checked with Lily, who agreed.
“Okay!”
They made plans and by the time the meal was over, everyone had spent a pleasant evening together.
“I’ll call you tomorrow if I hear anything, Lily,” Tony said and she and Claire headed to the apartment. Gideon hung back with his friend.
“Watch out for her, Tony. Don’t let the police drop this one.” He and Tony shook hands. He’d do anything to keep the two women he was growing to adore safe. Even if he had to rely on someone else.
“They won’t, I promise.”