Chapter 7
Joe stuck his head in Gideon’s office on Tuesday afternoon. “Hey, meet us at McNulty’s for beers after work.”
Gideon looked up from his desk and removed his glasses. His dry, gritty eyes burned and his neck ached from sitting hunched at the computer all morning. He’d been buried in his presentation. It took a moment for him to register the command. Nothing appealed to him less than drinks with his boss. He still had his daily exercise regimen to do to keep his leg muscles limber and toned, and he’d been anticipating a night in front of the TV. Despite an inward sigh, he put his glasses back on and nodded. “Meet you there around six,” Joe said.
A few hours later, Gideon headed over to the bar. McNulty’s was their regular hangout and he smelled the mingled scents of beer and hot sauce before he entered. Street level, with wide doorways, it was one of the few local neighborhood bars that could accommodate him and his chair. He entered and paused briefly as his sight adjusted to the dim light. His wheels made a sucking sound as they rolled across the sticky floor. To his left was the bar, teeming with the happy-hour crowd. A cloud of perfume, hairspray and aftershave hung over them. He spared the crowd only a cursory glance as he wheeled to the tables in the back where Joe and several others sat, including his friends Bill and Mark.
“Hey.” Someone gave him a beer and he nodded his thanks. The bottle chilled his skin and provided welcome relief to the stuffiness of the bar.
“How’s it going?” he asked as he sipped the salty, slightly bitter amber froth. He rolled the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing it, prolonging his enjoyment.
Joe, hair slicked away from his forehead, shirt collar undone, gaze roving, was in the midst of a story and all the guys snickered as he wrapped it up. Their regular waitress glided over with more beers, and Joe ogled her chest and patted her rear end as she moved onto another table. Accustomed to his behavior, she winked and sashayed away.
“So anyone do anything interesting this weekend?” Joe dragged his gaze away from the retreating waitress.
“Kim and I went to the movies,” Mark said.
“Yeah, what’d you see?” Bill asked. When Mark answered, Gideon nodded.
“We saw that a couple of weeks ago,” he said.
“We? Who’s we?” Mark asked and turned with interest to him.
“Just my sister and her friend,” Gideon replied as he sipped his beer and searched for the waitress. He wanted to order Buffalo wings, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“Boyfriend?”
“No, a woman.”
Everyone eyed him as if he held the key to a million-dollar treasure chest. Great, just what I need. Spectators.
“Yeah, what’s her name?” Mark asked, his beer forgotten for the moment.
“Lily.” Gideon flagged the waitress and placed his order. He hoped she would distract the rest of the table, but not even her skin-tight, cleavage-bearing halter could divert their attention.
“Is she hot?” Joe’s voice boomed as usual, and drew brief stares from patrons who sat nearby. Joe reminded Gideon of Anne, except he got the feeling she asked filter-less questions out of curiosity. Joe seemed to like the attention. Accustomed to stares, Gideon ignored the extra attention and attempted to wiggle out of this jam. Why did I say anything in the first place? He possessed a decent sense of humor, but there were some things he couldn’t find amusing. His relationship, or lack thereof, with a woman, was one of them. Unfortunately, with Joe’s focus solely on him, it wasn’t possible to avoid it. Regardless of whether or not he thought Lily was hot, if he tempered his opinions, Joe would lose interest as soon as possible.
“She’s nice looking.” He remembered how sexy but understated she was, the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed at Claire, and lilt of her voice.
“Ooh, nice,” Joe hissed as he winced. Then he got serious and asked, “Are you banging her? Because if not, I’ve got someone for you. She’s young, great body and works on Wall Street.”
He repressed a shudder. “Lily’s just a friend, Joe.”
“Well, maybe you should consider Stacy. If it’s the chair you’re worried about, don’t be. She thinks guys in wheelchairs are hot.” He winked and nudged one of the guys next to him.
Gideon cringed. That was all he needed. He didn’t relish the role of sideshow freak. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed Lily’s company so much. She treated him like she would anyone else. Thankfully, Bill stepped in and shifted the attention away from him.
“Speaking of setting up, any chance you could set me up with your sister, Gideon?” he asked.
“Yeah, now she’s hot,” added Mark. His hands illustrated her body, and Gideon elbowed him in the ribs.
An urge to protect his sister rose in him and he squashed it, knowing Samantha would hate it. “Watch it, Mark, or I’ll have a chat with Kim.”
Mark raised his arms in the air in surrender and admitted defeat. The table roared, since all of them knew he was smitten with his wife.
“Well, say the word,” Joe said, “and I’ll introduce you to Stacy.”
Gideon grimaced. Joe wasn’t going to drop this, and he wouldn’t let Joe set him up. Even thinking about it made his shoulders curl. Dizziness overwhelmed him. Not only would he have to worry about what Joe would say to Stacy or whatever potential date he thought appropriate, he’d also have to deal with his boss’ follow-up questions and comments. Never happening. He drank his beer, ate his Buffalo wings and made a quick exit. He’d have to develop a plan before the next work event.
****
After leaving work early, Lily waited for Claire outside of school. Built in the 1930’s, the old brick building still showed signs above the doors to mark separate entrances for girls and boys. Inside, the building reeked of floor polish, chalk and cafeteria food. Outside, the bell rang, and children tumbled out the doors in a cacophony of high-pitched voices and vibrant colors.
Finally Claire appeared. She dragged her backpack on the ground. Her rubber soles squished and her key chains clicked on the pavement as she meandered over to her mother. Lily frowned. Claire was usually giddy after a full day of school.
“Hi, sweetie, how was your day?” Lily bent and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. Claire’s curls brushed her lips, reminding her of silk.
“Fine.” Claire passed Lily, skipped her usual hug and kiss and walked ahead of her on the sidewalk.
Lily rushed to catch up. “Is anything wrong?” She reached for her hand, but Claire yanked it away and kept moving, her gaze focused on the sidewalk.
“No.”
Okay. Maybe she needs some time. “So, what’d you do in school today?” The false brightness in her voice could have illuminated an entire skyscraper, but it did nothing to lighten Claire’s mood.
“Nothing.”
Nothing? Lily didn’t think it was possible for a first grader to do nothing for five minutes, let alone an entire day. They were quiet as they trudged through Tompkins Square Park. Shade from the elm trees did nothing to cool Claire’s mood. Most days, she watched people play basketball, or beg to play in the playground, but today she didn’t. A couple of blocks later, they approached the community center where Gideon volunteered. Claire stopped at the fence and peered into the deserted lot. She pressed her face into the metal bars and hunched her shoulders. Lily longed to run her palm down Claire’s bony spine, to feel the warmth of her daughter’s skin through her cotton T-shirt and to kiss all of her troubles away. But her advances would be rejected. Instead, she clenched her fist and kept it at her side.
After a moment, Claire shuffled up the street to their apartment.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong, honey?”
“I’m fine, Mom.” Each word oozed contempt and made her sound closer to thirteen than six. They entered their apartment and Claire stormed straight into her room. Usually a cheerful place, the oppressive stillness wrapped itself around Lily and stifled her.
“Do you want a snack?” Food always improved Claire’s mood.
“No.” Her daughter closed her door, and the click of the spindle in the mortise of the doorjamb reverberated in her head.
Lily studied the closed door, as if the plywood could clue her into her daughter’s heart. Claire had shut her out. Her fists clenched at her sides, she considered barging in and making Claire describe what was bothering her. But Lily didn’t want that kind of relationship with her daughter. Although the child was only six, Lily decided to give her a little space to see what happened. She put away her briefcase, made a few quick calls for work and checked her office email account. In a few days, Armadillo’s new product would launch and she wanted to make sure everything was ready. After she assured herself that her assistant was capable of taking care of everything, Lily put aside the rest of her work and headed into the kitchen to see about dinner.
I hate this part of the day. She rubbed away the beginning of a tension headache. It’s boring cooking for the two of us and I’m out of ideas for dinner. It’s not like Claire particularly cares what we eat anyway. Daniel’s words echoed in her mind and she stood with the refrigerator door ajar. “What are the four food groups? Order in, take out, frozen and canned.” He used to tease her whenever she complained about cooking.
“But he’d take over the kitchen for me,” she said softly. She bit her lip to fight the tears and closed the refrigerator door. She missed the camaraderie of having her husband here, of having another person who understood her instinctively. With a deep breath, she decided to check on Claire. “Dinner can wait,” she said, louder this time. She held her head high and reviewed in her mind the latest parenting advice she’d read in a magazine as she marched to Claire’s door. Patience. She knocked, asked if she could come in, and opened the door to the pink and purple room. Claire sat in the middle of her bed, her stuffed hippo clutched in her arms.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, honey.” Lily sat next to Claire on the bed. The soft, fluffy comforter bunched around her hips as she sat down. Instead of hugging her daughter, she reached over and patted the hippo. Worn from six years of hugs, drool and laundry, it still was soft beneath her fingers. “Maybe I can help.”
Claire’s her face was blotchy, her voice teary. “I told Gideon I’d make him a picture for his refrigerator.”
“I remember.” She waited. Claire pulled out a picture from her backpack and gave it to her. Lily’s fingers glided over the smooth paper and slowed as they ran over waxy crayon lines and shapes.
“It’s not very good.”
“Oh, honey, I don’t agree. I think it’s beautiful. He’ll love it.” The crayon drawing was a colorful rendition of kids playing basketball, and Claire had added flowers and a bright yellow sun. It should have made her daughter smile.
Claire sat there and stared at her bed.
“Is this why you’re sad?”
“I’m not sad!” she shouted. She jumped off her bed and stomped across the room.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Her daughter paced and Lily waited for Claire to clue her in.
“I guess I should give this to him, though. I don’t want him to feel bad.”
“I think he’ll love it, Claire.”
“Can we go over now?” She shifted from one foot to the other. Lily was tempted to say yes, although she didn’t know if he was home from work yet, or if he’d mind an unannounced visit. Claire’s gaze pleaded with her. She ignored the churning in her stomach; she had to do this for her daughter. She gripped the phone receiver as she dialed, but there was no answer.
“Why don’t we go over to Samantha’s and give it to her? I have a feeling she might see him sooner than we will.” Desperate for something to make Claire feel better, relief washed over her when Claire gave a half-hearted smile. They knocked on the door and a moment later, Samantha answered.
“Hi, guys.” Her initial smile faltered when she saw them. Lily made faces and pointed at Claire, and for once, Samantha caught on and covered nicely. “What’s up?” she asked as she opened the door and motioned for them to come in. Lavender potpourri scented the room and Lily inhaled as she made an effort to relax.
“Claire has a picture for Gideon and we were hoping you could give it to him,” Lily said when Claire remained mute. Her daughter held up the picture and Samantha took it.
“Claire, this is great. But why don’t you give it to him yourself? He’s coming over after work and he should be here any minute.”
Claire shuffled through the basket of toys Samantha kept in her apartment for her. Lily and Samantha sat to talk.
“I don’t know what’s going on with her.” Lily fiddled with the crease in her pant leg and bunched the fabric between her fingers as she whispered.
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.” Samantha reached over and squeezed Lily’s arm. Just then, Gideon knocked on the door and rolled in.
“Hi.” He paused at the unexpected guests, swinging his head from Samantha to Lily and again to his sister. His nostrils flared and his jaw bulged.
He reminded her of a volcano, ready to blow.
“Gideon!” shrieked Claire, who ran over and leaped on top of him. As she hugged him in a death grip, his face relaxed. He patted her back and raised one eyebrow at Samantha and Lily. They both shrugged and he focused his attention on Claire.
“Hey, ClaireBear, what’s up?”
She refused to look at him when she handed him the picture. He concentrated on it for several seconds. Claire fidgeted from one foot to the other. “It’s not very good,” she sighed, “but I know you wanted a picture and it was the best I could do.”
“Thank you very much, sweetheart. I like it a lot. But I think I know why you don’t.” He pointed out a flaw only he and Claire saw and they headed into the kitchen. “We’ll be right back,” he called over his shoulder.
Lily and Samantha waited for them to return. Claire still didn’t seem herself, but at least she wasn’t upset about the picture anymore. “We should be going, Claire. We have to figure out dinner, and Samantha and Gideon have things to do.”
“Why don’t you both join us?” Gideon checked with Samantha for approval. At her nod, he said, “We’ll order pizza.”
Claire’s eyes were big and soulful. Relieved not to have to cook, and hoping the others could help her figure out her daughter’s problem, Lily agreed. Samantha ordered the pizza while Gideon, Lily and Claire sat in the living room.
“Why don’t I have a daddy?”