Chapter Twenty-Seven

· hilary ·

My head spun as Zach walked away. Even in his anger, he was so beautiful, maybe even more than usual. He was scuffed up from my brother’s punches, his hair and suit tousled, bruises forming on every plane of his exquisite face. But it wasn’t until he left the vicinity that I was able to gasp for air to fill my underinflated lungs.

My hand clutched at my chest, and a stress-induced attack similar to Zach’s lurked. How had we suddenly switched roles? I was always composed. But his dreams were at stake, and I wouldn’t be responsible for destroying them. I had to do something.

The way his face had fallen when I told him I was leaving almost broke me, and I wasn’t typically weak-willed. The biggest challenge of my life was withholding what he already knew. I was in love with him. Irrevocably. But I was terrified I’d make the wrong decision. This was also about him. I wouldn’t wreck his dreams the way Graham had destroyed mine.

I jerked as a hand landed on my shoulder. Rain poured down, lightning lit up the dark sky, and two large, blue eyes focused on me. A timid smile crossed over my friend’s face. “You all right?”

“No,” I sighed, straightening up off the wall that supported me.

Renee handed me my clutch, which I’d left on a chair nearby. “I’ll take you home, babe.”

“I’ll catch a cab. Stay with Ben. Eat, have fun.”

She shook her head. “There wouldn’t be a Ben and me if it weren’t for you. Besides, he’s catching up with everyone.” She reached out and pushed a strand of my hair back. “Come on, silly girl. We’ll talk it over while I drive you home.”

A tear shook loose and trailed down my cheek. “Renee…can I stay at your place tonight?”

She hooked her arm into mine. “Of course. But Ben and I may have lots of sex tonight, so you might want a sedative.”

“You’ve got alcohol?” I raised a brow, and she nodded.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” She winked. “I’ll take you to your place to get some clothes and we’ll make it a girl’s night.”

I texted Mom and told her I’d catch up with her tomorrow, thankful she hadn’t witnessed the scene outside. I was sure by now she’d heard the story, though, and was no doubt concerned. She responded instantly, said she loved me and that all would be okay. I hoped so.

The rain was falling fast and heavy, doing what I couldn’t do. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. Downtown traffic made the drive slow. Renee blurted out several swear words as she veered into the next lane. I was quiet most of the way, replaying Zach’s words, his touch, and anticipating the nightmare to come. Not having him as mine would be just as difficult to accept as I imagined. Phone alerts blasted in quick succession from my clutch. I looked to see if Zach was calling. Maybe Evan had changed his mind, gotten over his hissy fit.

“What’s going on?” Renee settled back in her seat and looked at me while we were stuck at a red light.

Disappointment hung over me as I swiped my finger over the lock screen. “My Facebook’s going crazy,” I said. Notification after notification pointed me toward tagged posts. “Fucking hell.”

“What?” Renee’s brow furrowed. “What is it?”

“It’s already making its rounds. Someone took photos of Evan and Zach’s fight. Apparently, there’s a video.” I scrolled over the article, and the source seemed to have all their information correct. “How the hell could this happen so quickly? It hasn’t even been a full hour.”

“Doesn’t Zach usually take care of that stuff?”

Realization dawned on me. “He would’ve called Evan’s publicist. Carol would’ve shut it down in a heartbeat.”

“But Zach doesn’t work for Evan anymore.” Renee shrugged. “You think it was Graham?”

“I don’t know. There weren’t many of us around, but it only takes one person.” I was too involved in the scene to notice.

Renee was pensive. “I’m sure it’ll get wrapped up somehow, but Evan’s gonna have a lot to deal with tomorrow.”

“Dickhead,” I mumbled. “Serves him right.”

Renee spoke with caution. “You can’t blame him for being upset at you guys, Hilary. He’s just been through a shock.”

“It’s hardly a shock. I’m a sexual female, not just his baby sister. He needs to get over it,” I declared. The traffic moved, and Renee concentrated on the road but pressed her lips together, as if she were holding her tongue. “What? Just say it.”

She sighed. “Don’t get mad at me, but I’m kinda on his side.”

“What? Saying those awful things about Zach? He was a total douchebag.”

“His approach was wrong, but Hils, he was angry. You can’t blame him. His best friend, the guy he trusted with his life, lied to him for months. Messed with his kid sister. That’s like, a huge no-no between best friends. The least Zach could’ve done was talk to him, ask for his approval to date you.”

I didn’t want to hear her justification for Evan’s actions. “We were never dating,” I insisted.

“Which makes it worse in your big brother’s mind. You’re supposed to be looked after, and Zach’s part of the family. He’s older, more mature, and he allowed his feelings to get in the way of making the right choice.” I was silent as Renee’s words sank in. She continued. “He knew what he was doing, and what promise he was breaking when he hooked up with you.”

My voice trembled. “He’s in love with me, though.”

“That’s apparent.” She never looked my way. “And you love him, so what’s the problem?”

I watched the blur of taillights in front of us, the wipers clearing the rain off the windshield. How I wished to have those wipers in my head and my heart, giving me clarity of the situation at hand. “I’m…scared.”

“Why?” Renee finally merged onto the freeway, and we began a steady pace toward Zach’s. I debated whether to just pack everything and run. If I could fly to Boston, catch the soonest flight possible, I would.

“Because he has the power to hurt me more than anyone.”

“HEY,” I SAID faintly. “Is he here?”

Grace looked subdued, exhaustion etched across her ethereal features. She held the door open wide as I turned to wave at Renee, who waited in the car. We’d made an agreement the night before that I’d suck it up and talk to my brother as soon as possible to get things figured out. All I had to do was text her after I was done to have her come and whisk me away.

It took Renee forever to coax me out of the car. As soon as we’d pulled up to Grace’s townhome, my eyes shot to Zach’s place next door—our place. Was he inside? Was he at the restaurant? A mere twenty-four hours had changed circumstances dramatically.

Grace guided me to the living room and offered me something to drink as I sat on the couch. I declined. The typically warm atmosphere of her home seemed quiet, tense. She served herself a cup of coffee and loaded in the creamer. The clang of the spoon on the counter put me on edge. “Are you angry at me, too, Grace?”

Her eyes met mine as she strolled over and sat on her armchair, careful with the cup in her hand. “No, I’m concerned.” Her small slurp of coffee filled the air, sadness evident in her eyes. “I’ve never experienced Evan this way before, and I don’t like to think of the family hurting.”

I knew a bit about her own strained relationship with her parents after her brother had passed away. Evan was the one who bridged the gap, and they were healing their own family dynamic.

“I never meant to cause a scene,” I said. She just nodded, sipped her coffee quietly, and tucked her feet under her. I bit my lip, twiddled my thumbs, and glanced around. The absence of sound signified her disappointment. “So, I guess lunch with Mom was canceled?”

“She’s coming over, but Evan’s not up for going out.”

“How bad is it?” I’d avoided every social media outlet, turned off my alerts, and refused to look at any article dealing with my brother. In fact, I had turned off my phone completely.

“His team’s doing damage control. We’re flying to LA tonight so we can start the interview process to hire a new assistant.”

My breath shook as I exhaled. “It really was my fault, Grace.”

“What are you doing here?” Evan passed through the living room to the kitchen. His voice was terse, surly, and he refused to look at me while he served himself coffee.

Grace stood and strolled toward a door on the other side of the house. “I’ll give you guys some time alone.” She slipped on a paint-splattered apron and some sandals. “I’ll be painting in the garage.”

I’d seen some of her artwork but knew she rarely had time for her hobby. Confrontation wasn’t Grace’s strong suit. Excusing herself to paint was her way of avoiding the conflict about to go down. I braced myself for Evan’s wrath and stood. We met at the kitchen island where he set down his cup, placed his palms on the granite, and finally glared at me. It was a rare occasion, me disappointing my big brother. His usual warm, blue eyes disappeared, and in their place were icy, cold ones that pierced through me, sending a chill down my spine.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Or see you. Why don’t you go depend on your new boyfriend?”

Anger flared within me like a beacon. “He’s not even my boyfriend, you tool. Zach was helping me through a transition. We messed around for a bit, that’s all. He and I agreed we’d have some fun and stay friends. I’m going back to Boston, and everything will be back to how it was before.”

He scoffed. “Do you know how stupid you sound right now? Grow up, Hilary!”

“Why are you being such a dick? You don’t have to make it so complicated.”

“God, you don’t even get it.” He exhaled. “What is it with you and my friends, huh? Graham, and now Zach.” The intensity of his voice grew. “I knew Graham was a douche, so honestly he wasn’t much of a loss, but Zach…he’s family, Hilary. You’ve taken him from me.”

I tipped my chin up, trying not to let his words get to me. My stubbornness didn’t want to admit defeat, but I was crumbling. “Well, it’s not like I meant for this to get out of control.”

Pain broke through the surface of his stoic expression. I couldn’t stand to see it. “Meaning you didn’t think I’d ever find out. You snuck around behind my back and had Zach lie to me.” My heart softened as he opened up. “I went over and over what the hell could be bothering him. I thought it was something I did. I offered him time, help, money, anything, hoping he’d confide in me.” He began to pace, his hands on his hips. “And the whole time, he was freaking out because he didn’t wanna be caught screwing my little sister.”

I tried to catch my breath but struggled. My words came out jumbled, strangled. My strength was waning. “Just to let you know, he was torn up about it and wanted to come clean. He resisted me at first. I was the one who convinced him. It was what I wanted.”

“Why did you do it?” His voice boomed. “He tried to stay away, and you tempted him. You came to Austin, knowing it would be a risky situation for both of you, and you chose to do it anyway. God, you’re a selfish brat.” He stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want, Hilary? You took my best friend from me, what the fuck else do you want?”

I steadied my breathing and gained my courage for Zach’s sake. “I want you to not sell your shares to some stranger. Sell them to Zach and give him a price he can afford. Don’t take his dream from him, Evan. He doesn’t deserve that.”

His disparaging laugh made my irritation flare, but I kept it at bay. “I don’t give a shit what you think he deserves. Do you know the crap I’m dealing with? We’re splashed all over the headlines, my reputation is being blasted. Evan Matthews ruins his family. The clean-up isn’t pretty. Both of you put my career at risk.”

“No, you put your career at risk.” I approached him and poked my finger into his chest. I couldn’t take him putting more blame on Zach. “You got out of hand. You could’ve controlled your temper. You went off the rails at the opening night of your best friend’s restaurant. You punched the shit out of him right after he protected me from Graham. You were completely irrational.”

“Did you expect me to be calm about the situation?” His voice shouted over mine. “How the fuck was I going to be okay with this whole thing?”

“And you think I’m selfish? You’re the selfish one, you fucking asshole!” I pushed him with both my palms, but he barely budged. I pushed him again, letting my anger lash out. It was enough to shock him into listening as I condemned him. “How does it feel not having him around? It sucks, doesn’t it? I’m sure he transferred all your calls over, so you’re dealing with a lot of shit today, aren’t you? All the work you never have to deal with. Don’t let movie star Evan Matthews deal with the mundane tasks. Give them over to Zach because he must have all the time in the world.”

He said nothing, so I continued, my face blazing as I let loose. “Did you know he stays up all hours of the night and into the morning making sure all your shit is taken care of? All the while, he was trying to open this restaurant. Then you pressured him to open earlier so he could go with you to Atlanta. You’re such a prick, Evan. I think you’re more concerned about your assistant than you are with your best friend and brother.”

His jaw clenched, but he fought back. “He could’ve resigned anytime. I’ve never kept him on contract. He’s never been needed every moment of the day. I gave him control over his own schedule.”

“And you think Zach would half-ass his work? When has he ever been okay with a mediocre job, Evan?”

“I never told him to open a restaurant!” Evan was looking for an excuse because I knew he was coming to a very real conclusion: I was right.

“Of course, you didn’t! He wanted to do that. You think he was happy working as your gopher? You took him from his job at Goldman-Finch. He hasn’t felt challenged in years.”

“Did he tell you he was unhappy? He said I took him from his job?”

“No, but you asked him if he wanted to work for you, dumbass. He wasn’t going to turn you down!”

I was certain Grace could hear our shouting outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire neighborhood heard. Evan’s voice only got more frustrated and incensed. “He made his own choices, Hilary!”

“He never had his own choices!” My voice reached its height, and I ran my hands through my frizzed hair, wanting to pull it out. I took a breath and reduced my yell, attempting to calm both myself and my brother. “Don’t you understand? He’s always felt like he owed us something for taking him in. He does everything we ask him to. Everything.”

Evan shook his head and looked at his feet. “No, no, we’ve never expected anything from him.”

“Then what the hell is this all about?”

His gaze met mine, once again it was rigid. “I won’t let him off the hook because I’m supposed to feel sorry for him. It doesn’t work that way.”

“He has nobody but us. Don’t do this to him, don’t take everything away.” I begged. “Please, Evan!”

“You’re making me out to be the villain. You caused this!” He began shouting once again.

“I’m trying to make it right, for fuck’s sake!” I cried.

“And you think leaving to Boston will make it better? Stop trying to be a martyr, Hilary. He risked it all for you, and you can barely take the heat.”

“You don’t know anything, douchebag.”

“Both of you, that’s enough!” My mother stood near the garage door, Grace behind her with doe eyes. “Get a hold of yourselves.”

Mom closed the space between us, dropping her purse on the table while in transit. We stayed quiet, respectful of her authority. Grace was about to exit when my mom stopped her. “You don’t go anywhere, Grace. You’re a part of this family, too.”

Grace fidgeted, and I suspected she’d never experienced Evan so angry. She made her way to where we stood. My mother’s blue eyes meant serious business, they were scarier than my brother’s. We waited for her to speak. “I’m assuming this is about Zachary. I won’t interfere in the fight itself, but I will say this—that boy is our guardian angel.” I looked at my mom, and tears trailed down my cheeks. “He has watched over all of us, including me, and he never once complained about the awful hand he was dealt as a child. He’s so grateful for the two of you, and you both have completely taken advantage of that.”

The room was silent. She exchanged glances between Grace, Evan, and me. “Life’s short. One day to the next could change your entire life in ways you don’t expect. Don’t hold onto this thing forever.”

“She’s right, Evan,” Grace said. “I’d give anything for my brother to be here.”

Evan gave Grace a compassionate glance, walked to her, and wrapped her in his arms. “I need some time to figure this out,” he whispered. “I just need time.”

“I’m so sorry, Evan.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “I am sorry.” I pleaded once more. “Please, don’t take the restaurant from him. Don’t let my mistakes ruin him.”

If I could convince my brother to take care of Zach, then I could at least semi-live with the fact that I was more selfish than I imagined.