Chapter Fifteen
Lina dressed quickly, pulling at the material of her petticoats, blouse and skirt as they stuck to her damp body. She felt jittery and longed to turn and look at Alex to see if she could tell what he was thinking.
The kiss had been sublime, something she’d been secretly longing for and not daring to hope might happen. Even now her lips were tingling and every inch of her skin was burning from the memory of his touch. She desperately wanted him to sweep her up into his arms and kiss her again, even though the rational part of her knew it could never happen.
She and Alex could not have a future. Despite some people’s perceptions of gypsy women being of loose morals, it could not be further from the truth. If anything, gypsies had stricter rules when it came to intimate contact with the other sex than most people. Nothing more could happen between her and Alex—unless, of course, he asked her to marry him and it was more likely a cow would fly through the sky than that would happen.
‘Come,’ Alex said, taking her arm gently, gathering her wet chemise with his own wet clothes and leading her back up the hill. He was still shirtless and as they walked, Lina’s arm brushed against the solid muscles of his chest, each contact making it a little more difficult for Lina to concentrate. ‘Sit,’ Alex instructed, as he busied himself hanging the wet clothes over a branch to dry. Only once this was done did he pull his shirt over his head and then sit down beside her.
Lina’s heart thumped in her chest as he leaned towards her, pushing a stray stand of damp hair from her forehead and tucking it behind her ear.
‘I have a proposition for you,’ Alex said, his voice low and his lips curved up in a small smile.
Frowning, Lina nodded to indicate she was listening. She had no idea how they were going to resolve the tension between them. Every time she looked at Alex her skin flushed and prickled. She couldn’t go on like this for another four weeks. The alternative, leaving and returning to her family and friends, was even worse. The idea of never seeing Alex again, never looking into those deep brown eyes or walking arm in arm as they talked and teased each other was heartbreaking. She knew she was falling for Alex. It was impossible not to when it felt as though they had been made for one another—she loved his determination and focus, as well as his wit that had her smiling all day long.
‘I think it is a proposition that will benefit us both greatly. We will have to be careful, discreet, but I am confident we can make it work.’
With her heart sinking, Lina realised what he was suggesting.
‘Be mine, Lina, for the next few weeks at least. After that we can re-evaluate, decide whether we’d like to prolong our liaison further.’
‘You want me to be your mistress?’
Alex edged closer and ran his fingers down the side of her cheek and along the angle of her jaw, stopping at her chin and tilting her face up to his. Before she knew what was happening, his lips were on hers again and Lina felt herself losing grip on reality. Surely something that felt so good couldn’t be wrong?
Summoning all her resolve, Lina pushed Alex away. He looked surprised, but recovered quickly, grinning at her in the way that melted her heart.
‘We can work out details later,’ he said, waving his hand to indicate some point in the future where he envisioned them sitting down and working out what she would get for disgracing herself as his mistress.
‘You want me to become your mistress?’ Lina said again, this time the anger rising in her voice.
‘It makes sense, Lina, I can’t stop thinking about you, I see you every time I close my eyes and I’ve spent the last week fantasising about the fun we would have in the bedroom together. You can’t deny the attraction between us.’
She couldn’t deny it, but the thought of becoming Alex’s mistress, anyone’s mistress, was repulsive to her.
‘You have so little respect for me?’
This stopped Alex’s caress of her cheek and his hand dropped from her face into his lap.
‘I respect you greatly, Lina.’
‘No,’ Lina said, shaking her head vehemently. ‘You don’t. You don’t ask a woman you respect to disgrace herself, to sully herself for a few weeks of fun in the bedroom. That does not indicate respect between two people.’
She stood, burying her hands in her skirt so Alex would not see them trembling. She felt sick and her head was spinning, but she just needed to get away.
‘I do respect you,’ Alex said, more firmly, his face setting into a harder expression. ‘I have had a few mistresses over the years and I have respected all of them.’
‘Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. The answer is no.’
With quick strides Lina hurried over to where Stormborn was watching the exchange with interest. Within thirty seconds she had untethered him and used the tree to help her mount unaided.
‘Where are you going?’ Alex asked.
‘Away. Anywhere but here.’
‘Lina, don’t be foolish.’
She almost screamed. How could such a kind and intelligent man be so obtuse and unfeeling? He had asked her to debase herself, to give herself to him for a few weeks of pleasure, and then he would discard her like a used pair of old boots. Of course Lina wished something more could happen between them, something beautiful and passionate and intense, but not like this. She couldn’t believe he had even asked.
Before she could say something she might regret, Lina urged Stormborn forward and into a gallop down the hill. The lake loomed ahead of her and she wished she could turn back time and be floating in the cool waters with Alex, before any mention of being his mistress had been made.
As the wind whipped through her hair and the sun warmed her face, Lina forced herself to breathe deeply. Only once she was sure Alex was not following her did she let the tears start to fall down her cheeks.
‘Foolish, foolish girl,’ she muttered, allowing Stormborn to slow to a trot.
Throughout her stay at Whitemore House Lina hadn’t foreseen this turn of events. She knew what happened when someone of Alex’s rank dallied with someone of hers. They might have a few weeks of fun and pleasure, but then Lina would be pushed away, back to her own world, her self-respect and the respect from those around her gone for ever, whilst Alex suffered no consequence from his little indiscretion. It was unfair, but that was the way of the world. It was what had happened to her father and he had never recovered, and Lina knew in matters of sex, women were vilified much more than men, no matter whose fault it was.
Perhaps she should just return home, run back to Raul and Sabina and all the people she’d known for her entire life. She was angry with Alex and didn’t know if she wanted to face him again, but mostly she was angry with herself for not seeing this coming. Never had she thought he might ask her to become his lover, his mistress, so when it had occurred her defences had been down and she’d been vulnerable.
Turning Stormborn’s head, Lina set off in a south-westerly direction, but then paused. She was angry, certainly, and hurt, but these last few weeks she’d been trying to control her impulsive decisions, trying to think things through without the cloud of emotion. Taking the time to consider whether the best thing for her to do was abandon Alex and his wager was important, not a snap decision.
‘What do you think, Stormborn?’ Lina asked, stroking the friendly horse between the ears. ‘Should I go home?’
The very thought of leaving Whitemore House, leaving Alex and never seeing him again sent a stab of panic through her heart.
She was in an impossible situation. If she stayed, it would be with the knowledge that Alex cared so little for her and her reputation that he would ask her to become his mistress. If she left, she would be returning to her old life, with the same old routines, same old boredom—and Uncle Tom would want to collect the debt she owed him.
Lina allowed Stormborn to lead for a while, knowing her decision would not be an easy one and would probably take time. The horse picked his way through the long grass of a meadow, stopping occasionally to bend his head and tear a mouthful of wildflowers to munch on.
Whilst she had been debating what to do with herself for the next few weeks Lina had lost track of what direction she’d been riding in and now wasn’t sure which way led back to the house, but as they progressed through the meadow Lina caught a glimpse of the road on the other side of the hedge, winding its way through the countryside.
‘Help!’ A hoarse cry floated on the still summer’s air and Lina straightened in the saddle immediately. ‘Help!’
Looking around, Lina could see no obvious source of the plea for help and quickly pushed Stormborn forward towards the road.
‘Help!’ The cry got a little louder and was followed by a sob of pain.
‘Hello?’ Lina shouted, feeling a little foolish, but not knowing what else to say.
A gap in the hedgerow loomed and then Lina and Stormborn were on the dusty road, Lina’s head swivelling in both directions. Just around the bend a carriage lay at a strange angle, two wheels missing and the side smashed in. Reining in Stormborn, Lina quickly dismounted, taking care to hold on to the horse’s bridle in case something spooked him. The horses that had pulled the carriage were nowhere to be seen and Lina could see the straps had been cut to free them. The coachman was also missing and Lina could only assume he had freed the horses so they would not pull the damaged carriage in their injured and frightened state and then gone to look for help.
‘Hello?’ Lina said again, poking her head in through the window, bracing herself for what sight might greet her eyes.
‘Praise the Lord!’ a woman in her mid-fifties exclaimed, tears falling down her cheeks.
‘What happened? Are you hurt?’
Many gypsy women were skilled healers and the recipes for salves that were passed from generation to generation were a source of pride amongst the gypsy community. Lina had never learnt more than the basics, but even a child could tell there was something wrong with this woman’s left leg. Just above the ankle the leg ballooned into a tense swelling which was already an angry purple colour. The clenched teeth and short, gasping breaths hinted the woman was in considerable pain.
‘My leg,’ the woman said. ‘I can’t move.’
‘Has your coachman gone for help?’
‘I sent him to the house, but he’s on foot and heaven only knows how long he’ll be.’
‘Whitemore House?’ Understanding finally dawned on Lina. This was Alex’s widowed aunt, their chaperone for the next couple of weeks. She was due to arrive sometime that evening, but must have decided to make the journey a few hours early.
Quickly assessing the situation, Lina realised there was not much she could do on her own. This poor woman would need a few strong men to help lift her from the carriage and another form of transportation to deliver her to the house.
‘I will ride to the house and get help,’ Lina said. ‘I’m sorry to leave you, but I think it will be the quickest way to get you out of here.’
‘Thank you, my dear.’
Taking the older woman’s hand and giving it a squeeze, Lina wriggled herself back through the window and remounted Stormborn. Urging him forward, she sped down the road, hoping she was heading in the right direction for Whitemore House.