Chapter Twenty-Three
Alex paced backwards and forward at the bottom of the stairs, every few seconds checking the time on the huge grandfather clock that stood proudly near the front door. It felt as though time was passing excruciatingly slowly, every second stretching out for what felt like an hour. He was nervous, more nervous than he ought to be—and it certainly wasn’t nerves over this wager between himself and his sister.
Sometime earlier that afternoon Alex had realised he didn’t care in the least if he won or lost the wager tonight. Something much more important was at stake.
Lina loved him. She’d come out and declared the words two days ago, before challenging him to tell her how he felt about her. Alex had been unable to speak, unable to form a single word, still reeling from her declaration. He cared for her, she knew that. It was obvious in everything he did, everything he said, but love was so much more than that. He couldn’t deny Lina lit up his world, made each and every day more enjoyable, more worthwhile. He felt bereft without her, but he’d tried being in love before and it had only earned him years of heartbreak. Not that he could try to explain any of this to Lina. She had been working hard to avoid him ever since that disastrous afternoon.
With hindsight it had been a mistake to rent the rooms just off Grosvenor Square. The hurt in Lina’s eyes was something he would never forget. He’d felt that pain, felt her unhappiness translate directly into his own unhappiness.
A swish of skirts at the top of the stairs set Alex’s heart pounding, but he recognised his sister’s slow, elegant gait and returned to his pacing.
‘She’ll be down in just a minute,’ Georgina said, stopping before Alex and giving him a searching look. ‘You won’t do anything stupid tonight, will you, Alex?’
‘Like what?’
Georgina grimaced. ‘Anything you might regret.’
‘I promise not to do anything I might regret.’
‘Remember, focus on winning our wager this evening, then tomorrow you can sort the rest of your life out.’
He wondered if it might be too late tomorrow, but didn’t say anything to Georgina. Even if he’d wanted to confide his plans in his sister he couldn’t; as of yet he didn’t have the slightest idea what he might do. All he knew was that he couldn’t allow Lina to walk from his life after the ball.
‘I know you care for her, Alex,’ Georgina said, giving him a weak smile. ‘But you and Lina are from different worlds. She doesn’t belong in ours, even with all the coaching. Ask yourself if you are willing to give up all of your friends, your lifestyle, for the rest of your life for her.’
Alex knew she was just trying to look out for him. Despite being his younger sister she had always wanted to protect him from everything, including himself.
Gently he kissed her on the forehead. ‘Thank you, Georgina,’ he said.
For a moment she buried her head in his shoulder, before whispering, ‘I just want you to be happy, Alex.’
‘I know. Trust me?’
She looked up, scrutinised his expression, then after a long few moments nodded her head. Without another word, she walked away, exiting Alex’s town house to join her husband in the waiting carriage to take them to the ball.
Before Alex had time to digest his sister’s words there was another rustle of material at the top of the stairs. He saw Lina hesitate and then rally, descending the stairs in a faint cloud of sweet-smelling perfume.
This past week he’d been kept strictly out of the dressmaker’s, not allowed even a single peep at the dress Lina would be wearing tonight—and now he could appreciate why. It was magnificent. Or more accurately, it made Lina look magnificent. Emerald green in colour, it was cut to show off her curves without doing anything to offend the matrons in the ballroom. The silky material hinted at the body it hid underneath, making Alex want to run his hands all the way from her shoulders down past the swell of her breasts and the line of her waist.
Lina’s hair was pinned on top of her head, the decorative silver comb he’d bought to replace the one she’d been forced to give up to her uncle holding some of the strands in place. Her face was fresh, just a hint of colour on her cheeks, and her lips, a luscious and natural red.
Alex was speechless and she’d reached the bottom of the stairs before he recovered. Without thinking he stepped forward and took her in his arms, only coming to his senses when he felt her stiffen under his touch.
‘You look beautiful.’
‘I hope I look the part of a debutante,’ Lina said tightly. ‘I wouldn’t want you to lose the wager, not now I know how much you despise the idea of love and marriage.’
He wanted to kiss away the frown line between her eyebrows, kiss away the tension in her jaw and make her lips stretch into the smile he loved so much. Instead he offered her his arm.
‘I think you’ll be the most beautiful debutante in attendance.’ It wasn’t said to flatter or win favour, it was a simple statement of fact.
Lina glanced up at him, but he couldn’t read anything in her eyes. She’d had two days to prepare herself for this moment, two days to shutter her eyes and suppress any hurt or emotion.
Part of him wanted to gather her in his arms, to whisper in her ear that everything would work out perfectly, but he couldn’t give her those assurances. Right now he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what he wanted, other than knowing he couldn’t bear to let Lina leave at the end of the evening. Two days he’d mulled over his options and still he was no closer to knowing how their time together would end.
In silence, they left the town house and Alex helped Lina up into the carriage. With her dress spread around her there was no room for him on the seat next to her, so instead he had to settle for sitting directly opposite. Lina smoothed out the material of her skirts for the third time just as the carriage pulled away, and Alex realised she was nervous—but whether it was about the impending test of her social manners or about spending the time in his company, he could not tell.
* * *
It took much longer than Lina expected to travel to the Wilcox ball, given the journey would have only taken twenty minutes by foot, but as they edged closer to the front of the queue of carriages she was thankful for the delay. From what she could see out of the carriage window, the ball was to be a grand affair. Coloured lanterns lit the way to the entrance where liveried footmen stood to attention, welcoming guests into the house and providing liquid refreshments. Through the windows Lina caught sight of a large number of people standing in groups, talking and laughing merrily. Somewhere would be room set aside for dancing and nearby at least a quartet of musicians. All this, Lina had learnt by questioning Alex and his sister about what would happen tonight, but now she saw it with her own eyes it seemed so much grander than they had described.
‘Are you nervous?’ Alex asked. He was lounging back in his seat, but Lina could tell he was on edge by the way he hadn’t teased her throughout the whole carriage ride. The declaration of love that had tumbled from her lips a couple of days ago was no doubt the cause of this change in character.
‘I don’t want to let you down,’ Lina said.
It was the truth. Ever since their afternoon at the rooms in Grosvenor Square, Lina had been wondering whether it would be best for her to just leave, to walk out on Alex and the wager, but she had realised that it was important for her to see this through. She had given her word to Alex that she would do this, and after all the time and effort that had gone into preparing for this evening she wasn’t going to walk away just before the final hurdle. Deep down Lina knew she also couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Alex, even a day early. Every minute was precious, despite what had occurred between them. He might not have been able to admit his feelings for her, but that didn’t lessen how she felt for him.
‘Whatever happens tonight I want you to know how grateful I am to you. You’ve worked so hard to help me. Thank you.’
Grateful. That was his overriding emotion towards her. Not love, not even desire any more, but he was grateful.
Resolutely fixing her eyes on a coloured lantern on the Wilcoxes’ railings, Lina tried her hardest not to show any emotion. Part of her wanted to grasp Alex by the shoulders and shake him, scream and shout and beg him to recognise what they had between them, but she knew it was in vain. Either he felt the connection, too, or he didn’t. She couldn’t force it.
Before she was ready, their carriage had pulled to a halt and a footman was opening the door. Alex helped her down, escorting her up the steps towards the door, whilst Lina felt every sense being overwhelmed. The coloured lanterns were complemented by streams of ribbons fluttering in the breeze, all in vibrant blues and reds and yellows. The soft sound of a string quartet floated out through the open doors, an enticing piece of music pulling Lina inside. Infused in the air was the scent of orange blossom, faint but sweet enough to make Lina want to bite into a succulent segment of the exotic fruit.
They hadn’t even reached the front door and already it was the grandest party Lina had ever been to. The country dance paled in comparison and suddenly Lina felt awkward and out of place.
They passed the line of footmen and stepped over the threshold, the air inside the house already marginally warmer and stickier than that outside.
‘Lord Whitemore, we’re so glad you could make it.’ An immaculately presented woman in her mid-forties beamed as they approached.
‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Mrs Wilcox, Mr Wilcox. May I introduce Miss Lock.’
Lina and the Wilcoxes greeted each other formally and they were just about to move on when Mrs Wilcox thrust a young, slender woman in their path.
‘And this is our daughter, Miss Anne Wilcox.’
The young woman looked decidedly uncomfortable, but bobbed a formal curtsy all the same. Lina supposed she’d been paraded out in front of all the guests so far, and the young Miss Wilcox didn’t look too happy about it. As they made their greetings, with Alex dutifully asking their hostess’s daughter for a dance later that evening, Lina saw the flare of triumph in Mrs Wilcox’s eyes as she secured a dance with a marquess for her daughter.
‘The ball is in honour of Miss Wilcox’s debut,’ Alex murmured as they made their way into the already-crowded ballroom. ‘She’s making her bow into society tonight.’
‘She doesn’t look too pleased about it,’ Lina observed drily.
‘Her parents are ambitious. I think they hope she will ensnare a man with a title.’ Alex paused, dropping his voice even lower before continuing, ‘They are extraordinarily wealthy with no sons, making Miss Wilcox a very eligible heiress. Of course, in return for all that money, they wish for their new son-in-law to bring a title to the table.’
‘How romantic.’
Alex shrugged, as if to say this was just the way of the world he lived in.
The ballroom was even more beautifully decorated than Lina could have ever imagined. Hundreds of candles burned around the peripheries, adding to the light from three glittering chandeliers suspended from the ceiling. The mirrored walls glittered and shone, making the crowded room seem more spacious and allowing the immaculately presented debutantes to examine their appearances every few minutes.
There was a jolly atmosphere in the room, much more so than Lina had anticipated, and she realised that most of these people must know each other in some way or another.
‘Whitemore! Where have you been hiding yourself away?’ A young man with an expressive face came and clapped Alex on the back.
‘Sir Thomas Wainwood, Miss Lina Lock,’ Alex introduced them, leaning in to add to Lina, ‘Wainwood is a complete scoundrel. Keep well away.’
‘You wound me, Whitemore.’
‘It’s the truth, no matter how hard he protests.’
‘You forget I was witness to all your exploits at university, Whitemore.’ Turning to Lina, he gave a friendly wink. ‘Perhaps you would like to hear all about it, Miss Lock, if you’d be kind enough to grant me a dance.’
‘I would be delighted to.’ Lina handed him her dance card and he scribbled his name on one of the lines. Already it was filling up, what with Alex’s two dances pencilled in, and two more with Pentworthy. One half of the wager was almost won. All she had to do was conduct herself with decorum for the evening and Alex would have triumphed over his sister and her husband.
They moved on, strolling around the ballroom, having to weave through the crowds now even more guests were arriving. Their progress did not go unmonitored and Lina saw multiple pairs of eyes following them as they walked.
‘People are talking about us,’ she murmured, glancing at two middle-aged women who were whispering behind raised hands. It was hardly discreet.
Alex shrugged once again. He was much more comfortable with their scrutiny than she was, much more accustomed to it. ‘They are curious as to who you are and why Georgina and I have sponsored you.’
‘Do you think they’ll work out the truth?’
‘Never. Most will speculate you’re some distant relative or friend of the family.’
Just as they completed a full lap of the ballroom Lina felt Alex stiffen beside her. She glanced up to see Victoria and a tall, slender man walking towards them. As the couple spotted Alex and Lina, they also paused, but after a moment’s hesitation Alex gently pulled Lina towards them.
‘Lady Winchester... Lord Winchester...’ Alex said, inclining his head in greeting.
Lina scrutinised the man standing before her. This was Alex’s closest friend—or at least once had been. The man who had eloped with Victoria. He looked nervous, as if worried what might be the result of their meeting, but Lina felt Alex relax beside her and knew nothing scandalous was about to occur.
‘It’s been too long, Winchester,’ Alex said, addressing his old friend as he would have years ago. ‘May I introduce Miss Lock, a friend.’
‘A pleasure, Miss Lock. You’re looking well, Whitemore.’
‘The country air agrees with me. I’ve barely been in town these last couple of years.’
‘Whitemore...’ Winchester began to say.
Alex shook his head and clapped the other man on the shoulder. ‘Life is too short, Winchester. No point in bringing up the past.’
‘You always were a good man.’
Whilst the two men talked in half sentences and unspoken understandings, Lina had been watching Victoria out of the corner of her eye. The other woman had pouted as Alex approached, the pout turning to a frown as he cheerfully acknowledged her and then moved on. Now she was biting her lip as if confused about the direction of the conversation.
‘We should go hunting together one day soon,’ Alex said. ‘Remember that time you almost shot a villager?’
Winchester grinned. ‘Bloody well thought I’d killed him for a minute.’
Alex turned to Lina. ‘He had to pay the man compensation for the shock. The old gent did pop up out of nowhere, though.’
‘Whitemore was laughing all the way home, didn’t let me forget it the whole week of the hunt.’
‘I see Lady Porter,’ Victoria said, her voice tight and clipped. ‘Come, dear, we must go and enquire as to her health.’
For a moment Lina thought Winchester might protest, but a piercing look from his wife had him saying a reluctant farewell before being dragged away across the ballroom.
‘You handled that rather well,’ Lina murmured as they continued their stroll, passing by the row of floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out on to a candlelit terrace.
‘I did, didn’t I?’
‘That’s the first time you’ve seen him since he and Victoria eloped, isn’t it?’
‘It is.’
‘Yet you managed to laugh and joke with him. Magnanimously forgive him.’
‘I must be over Victoria and what they did to me,’ Alex said simply.
‘That’s amazing, Alex,’ Lina said, unsure why he wasn’t more excited by this newfound freedom.
‘I think I have you to thank.’
‘I haven’t done anything.’
‘You’ve made me step out into the world again and in doing so I’ve found the damage Victoria and Winchester did to me wasn’t as permanent as I’d thought.’
Although Lina didn’t feel as though she’d done anything to help Alex heal, she supposed he had been forced to interact with more people than horses these last few weeks. Soon perhaps he would be able to start thinking of love again. Lina knew it wouldn’t be her he declared his love for; over time she would grow to accept her feelings for him were deeper than his for her. Despite that, she wanted him to be happy, wanted him to find love and to settle with a woman who would give him the life he deserved.
Sensing the tears prickling in her eyes, Lina quickly excused herself, keeping her head down and dashing towards the entrance hall. There she followed a flutter of young ladies into the set of rooms that had been made available for the ladies to tend to their intimate needs during the ball. She was grateful to find a small room with a lock on the door and shut herself in before the tears properly began to fall. Tonight she might be on Alex’s arm, but before too long it would be another woman in his heart. Somehow she had to accept it, but even here in the privacy of the retiring room, Lina felt her heart squeezing painfully in her chest.
Ten minutes later and Lina knew she would have to return to the ball. Quietly she unlocked the door and poked her head out into the antechamber. When she’d entered, a few young ladies had been positioned in front of the mirrors adjusting various aspects of their appearance as they chattered away. Now the room was thankfully empty and Lina had time to splash a little cold water on her cheeks before the door opened again.
‘You need to leave,’ a low voice came from behind her.
Lina spun around to see Victoria standing holding the door open, her eyes narrowed and angry.
‘I’ve finished, the room is all yours.’
‘No, you need to leave this ball. You’re an embarrassment.’
‘Pardon me?’
‘Don’t think I don’t know what you are, Miss Lina Lock,’ Victoria spat. ‘Stay and you will make a fool of Alex as well as yourself.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Lina said, forcing herself to hold her head up high as she tried to walk out past Victoria. The other woman held out an arm, blocking Lina’s way.
‘I’ve checked who you are,’ Victoria said, a flash of triumph in her eyes. ‘You’re nobody. No title, no family, no money.’
‘And that is all that matters to you, isn’t it?’
‘It does matter. It matters to everyone. And having you here is an absolute disgrace. For Alex to bring his mistress to a society event—it’s an embarrassment.’
Lina was about to duck under Victoria’s outstretched arm, but then she froze.
‘Why do you care what he does?’ she asked.
‘Because it is an affront. I don’t wish Alex to be made a fool of.’
‘Surely you gave up the right to have an opinion on what he does or does not do when you ran off with his friend.’
Victoria’s pale cheeks became even paler and her lips grew thin and pinched.
‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that.’
‘It is exactly how you are speaking to me.’
‘You’re a whore, a harlot! I am Lady Winchester, wife of the Duke of Winchester.’
‘Actually, I’m not a whore or a harlot,’ Lina said, beginning to enjoy herself a little. The other woman was so out of control she was easy to upset. ‘I’m a gypsy.’
Victoria’s eyes widened at this newest piece of information, but still she refused to back away.
‘What I don’t understand,’ Lina mused, ‘is why you are so concerned about what Alex does. You left him, broke his heart and waltzed off with his closest friend without a single thought of how it would affect the man you were supposed to love. And now you’re jealous that he’s moved on? It doesn’t make sense.’
‘I’m not jealous of you,’ was all Victoria could manage.
‘You didn’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him either, is that it?’ Lina asked, leaning in closer and watching as the truth of her words was reflected in Victoria’s eyes.
‘I certainly don’t want him consorting with the likes of you.’
‘I suppose there is a power in having a man in love with you. Perhaps you hoped you would hold that power over Alex for ever, despite you moving on.’ Lina took a step back. She was thoroughly enjoying herself now. Reading Victoria’s reactions was far too easy and she had nothing to fear from the cold woman in front of her. ‘I don’t understand what Alex ever saw in you.’
On the few occasions Alex had talked about his ex-fiancée, he had mentioned how she was his intellectual equal, how they had enjoyed discussing all manner of topics whilst being able to laugh and relax with one another at the same time. Although Lina had only spent a limited amount of time in Victoria’s company, she couldn’t reconcile that picture with the woman in front of her, but people could change. Perhaps the old Victoria had been nicer, or perhaps Alex had been blinded by the love he felt for her.
‘I take it your marriage is not a happy one,’ Lina said as she confidently strode forward and ducked under Victoria’s arm, stepping out into the hallway. Before the other woman could answer, Lina had glided away, her head held high, but her heart hammering in her chest. She might have enjoyed getting the better of a woman who’d sought her out to belittle and degrade her, but Lina wasn’t so naive to think she could speak to a woman of such a high rank in that manner without their being consequences. She might well have just ruined Alex’s chances of winning his wager.