Chapter Eighteen
Lina felt her whole body melting. It was incredible what sensations one solitary little finger could elicit and secretly she wished for more. Alex was seated next to her in the carriage, declining the spacious seat opposite her and deciding instead for the proximity that allowed him to touch her surreptitiously.
She felt his finger trail to the base of her neck before circling its way up again, eliciting an involuntary shudder of pleasure as he reached the point where her neck met her skull.
‘Just think how good my lips would feel,’ Alex murmured.
‘You’re relentless,’ Lina managed to whisper, trying to stop her head falling back involuntarily, inviting his lips in.
‘I always get what I want.’
‘Always? That’s not healthy.’
‘Well, maybe not always,’ Alex conceded. ‘But this time I have very good motivation.’
Second by second Lina felt her resolve crumbling. Fixing her eyes on the moving scenery outside the carriage window, she tried to focus on the rolling hills, but within a minute her mind was back to the subject of Alex and his completely indecent proposal.
‘You will behave during this trip?’ Lina asked.
‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’
‘I’m not the one trying to seduce you.’
‘If only,’ Alex whispered, his breath hot on her neck.
Lina felt the heat rising in her body and quickly she darted across the carriage and settled herself in the middle of the seat opposite. To remain so close to Alex would be admitting defeat. She still didn’t want to be his mistress, still didn’t want to ruin herself, but every time he was close to her reason seemed to fly out of the window and she struggled not to lean in and kiss him.
‘Alex, I’m being serious. You won’t disgrace me whilst we are away?’
The levity departed from his face and suddenly Alex was completely serious. ‘Do you have to ask?’
Slowly Lina shook her head. That was what made this so painful: she knew he would never force anything between them. The kiss they had shared had been completely mutual. She’d wanted it as much as him. Ever since, he’d pursued her, tempted her, taunted her, waiting patiently until she could endure it no longer and gave in.
Until recently she’d prided herself on her strength of resolve, with her family often labelling her stubborn. That was all that was getting her through the torture of being so close to Alex, knowing he wanted her, but not being able to act on the fire she felt every time he looked at her with desire in his eyes.
‘Tell me about the races,’ Lina said, wanting desperately to distract Alex from his primary mission of seducing her.
Sitting back on his seat, a small smile on his lips and a glazed look in his eye, Alex took his time before speaking.
‘Newmarket is arguably the finest racecourse in the country and the race days are huge social events. The horses and jockeys are eager to perform and all the hard work of the past year comes to fruition.’
‘You watch your own horses race?’ Lina asked.
‘There will be seven races throughout the day. I have horses in two of the races. The rest of the time it is about assessing the competition, scouting for any horses I may wish to purchase, deciding which of my horses will enter which of the races going forward.’
She loved the enthusiasm in his voice and fire in his eyes as he talked about his horses. It was easy to admire a man who was so driven, so passionate about something.
‘And there are spectators there, people who don’t own racehorses?’
‘Indeed. It’s a lucrative business. Newmarket has a good reputation, so there will be plenty of ladies and gentlemen in attendance, socialising and enjoying the horses. And of course many people go to bet on the outcomes of the races.’
They lapsed into silence for a while, Lina looking out the window and enjoying the scenery, and Alex no doubt planning how to seduce her best at the races.
* * *
Nearly an hour later the carriage slowed as they approached the entrance to the racecourse. In front of them was a line of coaches, curricles and carriages either parked or stopped for a few moments to let the passengers out. Streams of people were heading towards the racecourse, both the women and the men dressed in their finest clothes, as if this was an occasion to impress. Lina smoothed down her cream dress, the one Alex had purchased her a few weeks ago, and adjusted the bonnet that was perched on her head. It was the first time she’d worn such a contraption and it felt strange and uncomfortable pinned to her hair, but Alex assured her she looked the part of a young debutante and that it was good practice for the challenges yet to come.
‘Alex!’ a voice called as their carriage drew to a stop directly outside the entrance. Lina saw Georgina hurry across to them, her husband strolling along behind, offering a few words of greeting to the people he passed.
With Alex steadying her, Lina stepped down from the carriage, noticing how he pulled her close, tucking her hand into his elbow.
‘Lina, you look so well,’ Georgina gushed. ‘I hope my ghastly brother has been looking after you.’
‘I’m treating her like a queen,’ Alex said quickly.
Not quite like a queen—even Alex might balk at the idea of propositioning royalty.
‘I fear I am going to lose this wager,’ Georgina said. ‘You look like the sweetest debutante of the Season.’
‘And taste like it, too,’ Alex murmured so only Lina could hear.
She refused to blush or feel embarrassed, instead fixing Alex with a steely look.
‘You’ll be a sensation at the Wilcox ball in two weeks’ time.’
Lina’s heart sank, in spite of herself. Was it really only two weeks away? That was no time at all. Two more weeks to spend with Alex, two more weeks to live this life, then it would be back to reality—back to dancing and travelling and dancing some more.
They bought tickets and passed through to the spectators’ area, stopping every few feet for Georgina to greet an acquaintance or exchange words with a friend.
‘Perhaps I could whisk you off to the stables,’ Alex whispered in Lina’s ear whilst Georgina and Pentworthy were preoccupied speaking to an elderly couple.
‘To see the horses?’
‘Amongst other things.’
‘I’d like to see the horses.’
‘And the other things?’
‘My cousin always tells me there’s no harm in looking,’ Lina said, a mischievous grin on her face. The festival-like atmosphere here at the racecourse was infectious and Lina wanted to let all her responsibilities slide away for a few hours. What could be the harm in enjoying Alex’s attention? It wasn’t as though anything could happen between them with all these people around.
Alex almost dragged her through the crowds towards the stables, calling a quick excuse over his shoulder to Georgina as they went.
‘Good morning, my lord,’ Richardson, one of Alex’s horse trainers, greeted him.
‘Good morning, Richardson. How are Hercules and Dawnbreaker today?’
‘In good spirits, Lord Whitemore. Feisty and raring to race.’
‘This beautiful creature is Hercules,’ Alex explained as he approached the first horse. ‘Won six races in the past year. He’s a real champion.’
Lina stepped forward slowly, not wanting to spook the animal before the big race. He eyed her belligerently, but made no other move.
‘And this is Dawnbreaker. He’s young—possibly too young to race—but he’s fast and eager. It’s his first time competing today.’
‘They’re both magnificent horses,’ Lina observed, wondering how much money Alex had spent on the two beautiful animals. It was probably more than she would ever see in her life, but as a horse lover herself she couldn’t deny it looked like money well spent.
‘I’m just going to check the starting positions and times,’ Richardson said, exiting the stalls and leaving Lina and Alex by themselves with the two horses.
‘Alone at last,’ Alex said as he came up behind Lina and looped an arm around her waist.
Over the last few days after Alex had vowed to persuade her to become his mistress, he’d pursued her relentlessly. It had taken all of Lina’s strength and determination to resist him. Here in the darkness of the stable, she felt her resolve slipping. Just one kiss wouldn’t hurt, one moment of feeling his body against hers.
When she didn’t pull away she felt him drop his lips on to the back of her neck where her skin was exposed beneath the back of her bonnet. There was a jolt that shook her entire body as he trailed his lips ever so gently across the nape of her neck and Lina had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out.
‘Thirty minutes until race time,’ Richardson announced loudly as he re-entered the stalls. Lina pulled away from Alex quickly, busying herself inspecting Dawnbreaker to hide how unsettled he had left her.
‘We’d better go and place a bet,’ Alex announced, taking her by the hand and leading her away from the stables. ‘Here, choose your winner for the first race.’ He handed her a crisp note and pointed her in the direction of the impeccably dressed men lined up in booths in front of the racetrack.
Lina inspected the list of horses racing first, picked out Dawnbreaker’s name and went to place her bet. Although she could have picked any horse she liked the sound of, as an unknown horse Dawnbreaker had the highest odds, and Lina always liked rooting for an underdog.
She returned to Alex’s side, betting slip in hand.
‘Who did you go for?’ he asked.
She showed him and watched as the warmth blossomed in his eyes. Before Lina knew what he was doing, he pulled her closer and gave her a peck on the cheek, having to duck his head under the brim of her bonnet to reach her skin.
‘Alex!’ they heard Georgina hiss from behind them. ‘You can’t do that in public.’
Quickly she inserted herself between Lina and Alex, gripping on to Lina’s arm as if to protect her from any further improprieties.
‘She bet on my horse,’ he said.
Georgina surveyed the crowd for a few minutes, watching the faces and levels of interest in their fellow racegoers.
‘I think you’re safe.’
‘Safe from what?’ Alex asked, leaning against the rail that separated the spectators from the racetrack.
‘Scandal. Notoriety. Unwanted attention,’ Georgina snapped. ‘It may be none of my concern what goes on between you two in private, if you are sensible enough to keep it discreet, but you cannot parade your affair in public.’
‘Nonsense, Georgina,’ Alex said with a laugh. ‘Nobody saw us. And besides, half the gentlemen here are with their mistresses. It’s not scandalous, just a fact of life.’
‘We’re not—’ Lina began to say, but Georgina was already ploughing on with her reprimand.
‘That’s as may be, but they do not go about kissing or pawing them in public, and they’re not under the same scrutiny as you. You’re a marquess, for heaven’s sake, probably the most eligible man in England.’
‘We’re not—’ Lina tried again, but this time Alex started talking at the same time.
‘Then it shouldn’t matter if I strip Lina naked and consort with her right here in the middle of the racecourse. I’d still be eligible, still be good enough for the daughters of the ton.’
‘Don’t be so flippant,’ Georgina hissed. ‘You might be eligible, but many women would be put off by such a flagrant display of affection in public. What if one of those is the woman you’re destined to spend your life with?’
‘Unlikely. She eloped with my closest friend, remember?’
Lina felt his words as if they were a blow to her abdomen. Her denial of an affair between her and Alex died on her lips for a third time as his words registered. Despite his protestations, despite his flippancy when it came to the subject of Victoria, she’d known there was still a maelstrom of feelings for his ex-fiancée buried inside—and that he viewed Lina as no more than an outlet for his desires.
In the silence Lina felt the tears building in her eyes and knew she had to escape before she made a complete fool of herself. Of course she’d had her reservations; she’d known nothing meaningful could ever happen between her and Alex, but deep down she supposed she’d nurtured a tiny flame of hope. With those few words, Alex had extinguished it. He’d had his perfect woman once and she’d left—Lina was nothing more than a pleasant distraction for him.
‘We are not having an affair,’ Lina said at last, far too loudly, spinning and fleeing through the crowd before she could gauge anyone’s reaction.
Faces and bodies blurred in front of her as the tears began spilling down her face and Lina dipped her head, hoping the bonnet would be enough to save her from too many pitying looks.
* * *
‘Lina! There you are. I’m glad I found you,’ Pentworthy said, sitting down beside her on the grass.
She turned to look at him, offering a weak smile, but unable to summon anything further.
‘I apologise for Georgina,’ he continued. ‘She can be rather blunt and, for a woman who spent her childhood being taught how to be the picture of demure womanhood, sometimes she lacks diplomacy. Here.’ He took out his handkerchief and offered it to Lina.
Dabbing her eyes, Lina tried to rally. It would do no good to wallow in self-pity; truly there was no reason for her to be sad. She hadn’t lost anything—at least not anything that she’d ever truly had.
‘Love can be painful,’ Pentworthy observed after a few moments of silence.
‘I know Victoria hurt Alex more than he cares to admit.’
‘She did,’ Pentworthy said slowly. ‘But I wasn’t talking about Alex.’
Not wanting to acknowledge the truth behind his words, Lina kept her eyes fixed firmly on her knees.
‘Did you know I was in love with Georgina for two years before she even knew who I was?’
This made Lina look up. The relationship Georgina and her husband shared was so strong, so close, she had always imagined it had been built on a solid mutual affection.
‘Our paths crossed at various social functions, but I was not considered a suitable suitor so Georgina barely noticed me. She had lots of men clamouring for her attention and I got lost in the melee.’
‘So how did you get her to notice you?’
‘One night I was a little in my cups so my confidence was improved and I asked her to dance at a ball. Instead of making inane small talk about the weather and the dancing, I talked to her like the intelligent woman she is.’
‘I can see that would work with Georgina.’
‘She still doesn’t know I was in love with her for years before she even noticed me.’ Pentworthy paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. ‘So I know what it is like to fall in love with someone who seems unattainable.’
‘I’m not in love with Alex,’ Lina said quietly. It seemed the right thing to do, to protest against this absurd idea.
Pentworthy shrugged. This was one of the things Lina liked about Georgina’s husband; despite being a successful and driven man, he wasn’t pushy.
‘It’s been more wonderful and more difficult than I first imagined, living this life for the past few weeks. I wanted new experiences, to do something other than live my same old humdrum life, at least for a little while, but I didn’t think I would find the idea of going back so difficult.’
‘You’ll miss Whitemore. And the lifestyle.’
‘Perhaps it’s just the lifestyle I’ve fallen in love with. I thought I hated the ways of the upper classes, but who wouldn’t be swept away by the beautiful houses, the exquisite dresses and a life of leisure?’
For a moment Lina considered whether this was true. She had enjoyed the time she’d spent at Whitemore house—perhaps the deeper feelings she thought she had for Alex were in fact simply a manifestation of her desire not to return to her old lifestyle.
‘I suppose you need to ask yourself if you would enjoy the balls and the outings and all the trappings of upper-class life without Whitemore there by your side to guide you through.’
Of course she wouldn’t. It was Alex’s dry observations, Alex’s gentle teachings, Alex’s reassuring presence by her side that made the whole experience enjoyable.
‘What does it matter anyway? In two weeks, I will be back with my family and this little interlude will seem like nothing more than a surreal dream.’
‘Perhaps.’
What did it matter if she was falling for Alex? He had made it quite clear that he desired her, that he wanted her in his bed, but never had he hinted at deeper feelings. She knew he cared for her, but for them to have any kind of a future together it would have to be love. There were too many differences and obstacles to overcome, only very strong feelings would be enough motivation. Alex liked her, he desired her, but he did not love her. Lina wasn’t sure if he would ever let himself love again after his experience with Victoria and he certainly wouldn’t consider opening his heart to someone as unsuitable as her.
‘Only you can know what is in your heart,’ Pentworthy said, patting her on the hand. He shrugged as if this were all a simple matter to contemplate, not something rife with important implications. ‘If it’s merely the lifestyle you enjoy, then you will return to your old life and slowly things will get back to normal. If you are in love with Whitemore, then you need to decide what you will do about it.’
‘There is nothing I can do.’
‘There is always something you can do,’ Pentworthy replied softly.
* * *
‘I’m very sorry for my behaviour,’ Alex said sheepishly, aware that Lina’s red eyes hinted at the possibility she’d been crying.
Pentworthy had sought him out a few minutes earlier and informed him where he could find Lina. Alex had headed straight over here, although as he’d walked the last few feet he wished he had taken a few moments to consider what he was going to say. Thankfully Lina didn’t seem to want to talk about the argument with Georgina or his outburst, offering him a tight smile and the opportunity to move on.
‘I think the first race is about to start,’ she said, leading Alex through the crowd to get a better view.
As they approached the rail that separated the racetrack from the spectators, the horses were just being positioned in their starting stalls. Alex felt the familiar thrill of anticipation he experienced every time one of his horses raced, but today it was dampened a little by a definite feeling of guilt over how he had upset Lina. Looking back, he probably shouldn’t have leaned in for a kiss, albeit a friendly peck on the cheek rather than a full kiss on the lips. It wasn’t how a gentleman behaved in public, even towards a woman he was trying to persuade to become his mistress.
‘Dawnbreaker is in stall number three.’ Alex pointed towards the magnificent animals and their riders all lined up in a row.
‘Does it make a difference what position they start in?’
‘A little. The farther away from the inside rail the horse is, the bigger the distance it has to run, which is why the riders will try to get to a position as close to the inside rail as possible once the race has started.’
‘So position three is worse than position one and better than six?’ Lina asked.
‘Exactly. How much of a difference it makes is questionable, but often the odds of the horse in the first stall are lowered because of this bias.’
Surreptitiously, he glanced at Lina. On the surface she seemed calm and collected—she appeared interested in the horses and eager for the race to begin. Perhaps a little too eager. Normally Lina would be laughing and joking, questioning him about every little detail, picking up on any gaps in his knowledge. Right now, Alex thought she was trying to act normal, trying to convince him she was unaffected by the scene earlier in the afternoon.
Part of him wanted to turn Lina to face him, look her squarely in the eye and promise her he was over Victoria. Surely the encounters he’d had with his ex-fiancée over the last few weeks proved it? But he’d seen the hurt in Lina’s eyes when he’d mentioned Victoria; when his angry and uncensored mind admitted that once he’d thought he was destined to spend his life with her.
The other slightly uncomfortable realisation was just how much Lina was beginning to care for him. Only a woman with deeper feelings for a man would react in the way Lina had. Maybe it would be for the best if he gave up his pursuit of her.
As Alex contemplated this option, he wondered if he would be able to stop now. Of course desire was something he could rein in, but he couldn’t deny there was something else pushing him to pursue Lina. He wanted her in his bed, but even more than that he wanted her in his life. The idea that she would leave for ever in a couple of weeks was unbearable. If she stayed as his mistress, then she would stay in his life.
Careful, he cautioned himself. Desire was one thing, but asking Lina to stay because of deeper feelings they shared sounded more like marriage than an affair.
‘Look!’ Lina said, grabbing his arm with one hand and pointing with the other.
The race had started, all nine horses building up speed at an impressive pace, their hooves churning up the grass and their riders bent low over their backs.
‘Go, Dawnbreaker!’ Lina shouted, completely caught up in the moment, unaware of her surroundings or the fact that other people were staring.
Alex envied this ability of Lina’s to do what she wanted without caring what other people thought of her. He was able to do the same to an extent, but it wasn’t a natural state of affairs for him, he had to work to go against his upbringing and not be bothered by other people’s opinions.
Lina grabbed his hand, squeezing it with excitement as the horses raced past their position, Dawnbreaker vying for the lead position. Watching carefully, Alex saw how his horse remained completely focused, ignoring the other animals around it, not becoming distracted by the crowds or the noise. A surge of excitement began to build, travelling down his spine, and he observed Dawnbreaker and his rider take the lead, slowly but surely increasing the distance between them and the horse in second position. If he wasn’t very much mistaken, he was watching a champion racehorse win his first race.
‘He’s won!’ Lina cried as Dawnbreaker crossed the finish line clearly in the lead.
She threw her arms around Alex, hugging him for a second before he felt her body stiffen as she must have remembered Georgina’s reprimand from earlier in the afternoon.
‘Congratulations,’ Lina said, pulling away and offering her hand for him to shake instead.
Feeling strangely bereft without her lithe body pressed against his, Alex took her hand and raised it to his lips.
‘Shall we collect your winnings?’ he asked.
‘My winnings? Oh, from the bet I placed. How exciting!’
Quickly Alex led Lina through the crowds, instructing her on how to collect her winnings after presenting her betting slip at one of the numerous booths.
‘Alex, there’s thirteen pounds here,’ Lina whispered quietly as they stepped away from the booth. ‘This can’t be right.’
‘It is. As Dawnbreaker was unknown and untested in a big race environment, the odds were twelve to one. I gave you one pound to bet, so you get twelve pounds in return plus the pound you bet originally.’
‘It’s so much money.’
She caressed the notes for a moment before holding them out to him.
Carefully he plucked one note from the pile before pushing the rest back towards her.
‘I’ll take the original stake... You get the winnings.’
‘Alex, that’s too much.’
‘You chose which horse to bet on, the money is yours.’
He watched as she flicked through the banknotes again as if she couldn’t quite believe her eyes. She tried to form a word with her mouth but nothing came out. Alex could see the tears building in her eyes. It was easy to forget that twelve pounds might be enough to change someone’s life.