CHAPTER ELEVEN - CALEB
No matter what I did, I couldn’t get Tara off my mind. I pictured her face and her body every second of every day. It was torturous and awful. My cock got hard after just two seconds of imagining her face. I felt pathetic, but part of me didn’t care. I waited ten long years to be with Tara again, and now that I knew how it felt to be buried inside of her, I couldn’t let it go.
Still, as the days dragged on, I wondered if we could be together at all. She was so distant after we finally had sex. All I wanted to do was pull her close and fuck her senseless, but she pushed me away. She reminded me how much her father hated the idea of us being together, and nothing I said could change her mind. She wanted to respect her dad, and I didn’t give a shit what he thought.
As much as I wanted her, I tried to think about other things. Tara wasn’t the only girl in the world. I was a fucking firefighter who could get any woman I wanted. If Tara didn’t want me, what the hell did I care? As soon as I got back on my feet, I could use my tragic hero story to win over some sympathy pussy. Then, Tara would be all but forgotten in my mind.
Even as I thought it, I knew it would never work. No amount of free pussy could replace Tara. I wished it would be that simple to forget about her, but I wasn’t stupid enough to try it. Nothing I had done for ten years could dull the memory of Tara. I didn’t have a chance of that happening now, not when I saw her for PT multiple times a week. My head spun, and my body longed to be touched by her.
More than anything, I wanted to go back to work. If I could just spend a few hours on the job, then maybe I could get my head back on straight. There was nothing like delving into a few fires to clear my mind. I knew that wasn’t an option. I still had a lot of physical therapy left before I would be well enough to even walk without crutches. I felt weak and pathetic. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t convince Tara to be with me. My entire world was just crumbling around me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.
By the time my next physical therapy session rolled around, I was eager to see Tara. I needed to know where we stood and that couldn’t happen unless I saw her. As I walked through the door of the PT building, my eyes roamed around the room. Tara’s desk was empty, but there were a few therapy sessions underway all around me. I groaned quietly and cursed my early appointment time.
I’d grown to love my evening sessions with Tara. The building was deserted, no one around but us. It felt private and personal. Plus, it gave me a chance to get close to her. In the afternoon, with people surrounding us, I knew Tara would be on her best behavior.
“You’re early,” Tara said, walking up behind me.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Just wanted to get this over with. I’m ready to get back to work.”
“You have to take it slow,” she said. “If you rush your recovery, then it will take longer.”
“I know,” I said. I didn’t think I could stand to hear that speech again. “I’m just bored sitting at home all day.”
She met my eyes, and my heart stopped. My stomach clenched painfully as I looked down at her lips. They were so inviting. It took everything in me not to claim them right there in front of everyone. As I trailed my eyes down her body, she cleared her throat and took a step back. Her expression was professional as she led me toward our workout area.
I sighed and followed her, resting my crutches against the wall. Instead of helping me to the low table like she had every other time, she led toward two bars and positioned me between them. I looked at her with surprise but didn’t argue. If she thought I was ready to try walking, then I would do it without a single word of complaint.
“Hold onto the bars,” she said. “Put all your weight on them the first few steps, okay? Don’t put pressure on your leg. Not yet.”
I nodded and did as she said. Even with my weight on the bars, it was hard to keep my leg from giving out. I felt sharp pains shooting through my leg and into my hip. I winced and grit my teeth, forcing myself through the pain.
Tara watched me closely, but there was something behind her eyes I didn’t recognize. It was as if she wasn’t all there like something was distracting her. I wanted to ask her about it, but I knew it wasn’t the right time. The other therapists were surrounding us on both sides, and a few patients were still lingering in the building.
I let Tara lead me through the session, all the while desperate for her touch. This was the first PT session where Tara didn’t touch me once. I didn’t realize just how much I longed for her hands on me until I had to go without it. I was frustrated. I hated this distance between us.
The room cleared as my session came to an end. I was beyond grateful to have a minute alone with Tara. When she gripped my arm to help me to a chair, I sighed and grabbed her hand in mine.
“What’s going on with you?” I asked, falling into the chair but keeping my hold on her hand. “You’ve been distracted this entire session.”
“I’m fine,” she said.
“Bullshit,” I snapped. “Just talk to me.”
“I’m confused, okay?” she said, throwing her hands up in frustration. The motion ripped her hand from my grasp, and I sighed, already missing the contact. “I don’t know what the hell to do anymore.”
“You’re overthinking everything,” I said. “Just relax and let yourself be happy for once. Jesus, Tara, this doesn’t have to be so complicated.”
“Except that it is,” she shot back. “It became complicated the day my dad married your mom.”
“Who the fuck cares about that?” I asked. “We didn’t grow up together. We aren’t siblings. God, we didn’t even meet until we were seventeen!”
“That doesn’t matter,” Tara said. “Our parents won’t approve.”
I pushed myself to my feet and stumbled toward her as fast as I could. Without letting her finish, I grabbed her around the waist and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was deep and hard. I threw all my emotions behind it, every ounce of desperation I felt pouring out of me. Tara kissed me back, sighing against me and letting herself be free for just a few seconds.
The kiss was hot. It melted Tara’s resolve and strengthened my own. I had to have this woman. No matter what, I couldn’t let what happened between us became a one-night stand.
“When’s your next day off?” I asked when we pulled away from each other. I was still holding onto her waist, but I could feel my leg trembling beneath me. She looked down and sighed, leading me back toward the chair.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” she said softly.
“You loved it,” I grinned wickedly.
“I’m not talking about the kiss,” she said. “I’m talking about your damn leg. You can’t push yourself that hard.”
“It was worth it,” I said.
She met my eyes and sighed deeply. When she kissed me, it was soft, and it barely lasted a second. She just brushed her lips against mine and closed her eyes. I could tell how much she wanted me, but something was still holding her back. She wouldn’t let herself go. Not completely.
“When’s your next day off?” I asked again. “I want to see you somewhere that isn’t this damn building.”
“I’m off tomorrow, but I already have plans to see Stephanie,” she said quickly.
“Oh,” I said, nodding. “How is Stephanie doing?”
“She’s great,” Tara said with a smile. “Working at a bar downtown and loving it.”
“Bartending?” I raised my eyebrows.
“You know Stephanie,” Tara said. “She never takes life too seriously.”
“Yeah,” I said.
I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice, but it was impossible. Tara was right there, just a foot away from me and yet, we felt so far apart. I wanted to spend the entire day with her so I could remind her what it really felt like between us. Then, she wouldn’t be able to resist it any longer.
Still, I couldn’t fight her. She was spending the day with Stephanie, and I had to be okay with that, just like I had to be okay with the injury to my leg and the fact that Tara still insisted on listening to her father after all these years.
My life no longer felt like my own. Everything had spiraled out of control, and it just fucking sucked.