CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - CALEB
My next PT session felt more like a workout than physical therapy. Tara ran me through the usual paces: stretches, walking, and weights. She pushed me harder this time, making me extend my leg further and lift heavier weights. I loved it. For the first time since the fire, I felt like myself again. I felt strong.
“I think you’ll be done soon,” Tara said. “Dr. McGee and I have been talking. We’re in agreement that your progress is amazing.”
“I’m kicking ass,” I said, grinning.
“You’re doing well,” she said firmly.
“Just say it.” I teased. “Just once.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she said. “You’re kicking ass.”
“That’s right!” I cheered. “God, it feels so fucking good to walk without those damn crutches. I can’t even tell you how much I hated them.”
“I know.” Tara laughed. “You never shut up about it.”
I walked over to my usual chair and sat down. As I toweled off my face, Tara stood beside me and looked around the room. Her next patient would be there soon, and I knew she didn’t want anyone to see us together. But as I stared at her body, I couldn’t control myself.
“Come here,” I said, my voice low and husky. I pulled her into my lap and claimed her lips for a kiss. She pulled away quickly, her eyes darting from side to side. “No one’s here. Relax.”
“This is my job,” she said. “I can’t do this here.”
“Shut up,” I said firmly. “Stop thinking so damn much.”
“So you want me to be stupid?” Tara asked, her eyebrows raised.
“You couldn’t be stupid if you tried,” I said, laughing. “I want you to relax. For five minutes.”
She sighed and stared at me. I could see how much she wanted to give in. Her body was wrapped around mine, and she showed no signs of moving. We kissed again, and this time, it was enough to make my dick twitch in my pants. Tara felt me get hard beneath her. She pulled away with a grin.
“That’s my cue.” She stood up and walked away from me.
“Fucking tease,” I said playfully.
She laughed and waved me away. I grabbed my stuff and followed her to her desk. The best part of having Saturday sessions was that Tara was the only PT in the building. The worse part was that she always jammed her schedule. She had back to back sessions all day, leaving us no time to be together.
I hated it but more than anything, I was worried she would push herself too hard. This cancer wasn’t something to take lightly. I saw the effects on her face every day. When a headache caught her by surprise, the pain was evident. She winced and her eyes glazed over. She couldn’t focus on anything. She could barely speak.
Every time I looked at her, I searched her face for a sign that she was in pain. Nothing she said could calm my nerves.
“Have you told your dad?” I asked as she sat down behind her desk.
She jerked her head up. Our eyes met, and she shook her head, quickly looking away again.
“Tara,” I said. “You can’t keep putting this off. He needs to know.”
“Why?” she asked. “The doctors haven’t even planned out my treatment yet. They have an idea. Chemo. Radiation. Possibly surgery. But they don’t know anything. I have to go in for more tests, and then I’ll tell him.”
“You will?” I asked. I knew she was lying.
“I’ll tell him when it’s time,” she said evasively.
“And when will that be?” I demanded.
“Caleb, back off.” Her eyes were narrowed and her voice was sharp.
“No,” I said firmly. “Look, you know I’m not your father’s biggest fan. Truth is, I can’t stand the asshole.”
“Caleb.”
“But,” I said loudly, “he’s your dad, Tara. He loves you, and he deserves to know the truth, okay? You can’t hide from this forever.”
Tara glared at me, but I didn’t back down. I was right, and she knew it. Darren was a doctor, for fuck’s sake. If any parent deserved to know their child had cancer, it was him.
“It’s not that easy,” Tara said. “What do I say? ‘Hey dad, I’m dying. Talk to you later.’ Not exactly something you can put on a Christmas card.”
“You tell him the truth,” I said.
“I know this isn’t fair to you,” Tara said. “You’re the only one who knows and that puts pressure on you.”
“You think that’s what this is about?” I asked, taking a step back.
“Well, yeah.”
“No.” I laughed. “God, Tara, I don’t give a shit about that. I just want to help you, and I think your dad might be able to do that. You need people around you. More people than just me. You need Darren and my mom. You need Stephanie and your other friends. This fight isn’t going to be easy. You’ll need support.”
“Why?” Tara snapped. “So everyone can watch me die?”
Her words cut through my chest like a knife. I took another step back and shook my head slowly. How could she even say that?
“That’s not funny,” I said darkly.
“You’re right,” she said. “It’s not funny, and that’s why I haven’t said anything. All this will do is make everyone sad. I don’t want that.”
“What about what you need?” I asked.
“What I need,” she said, taking a deep breath, “is for you to let this go. Let it go and let me get back to work. I have another patient coming in any minute.”
She turned away from me without another word. I stared at the back of her head, watching her while she bent over her desk and shuffled some papers. Her shoulders were tight, and her entire body was trembling. No matter what she said, she needed people around her. She was scared. She was sick. This wasn’t something she could face alone.
I opened my mouth to argue again but the sound of an opening door distracted me. I turned my head to see my mom walking toward us. She was there to drive me home. She smiled and waved as she moved closer to us. When she saw the look on my face, she slowed down. The smile disappeared, and she looked from Tara to me nervously.
“Everything okay?” Mom asked.
“Hey Cathy,” Tara said. She plastered a fake smile on her face.
“Hi honey,” Mom said. She smiled back, but she looked worried.
“Caleb and I were just finishing up,” Tara said. “He’s good to go.”
“Tara,” I said softly. She shot me a warning look, but I ignored it. “You need to tell someone.”
“Not now,” Tara hissed, staring at me with a mixture of panic and rage.
Mom looked from Tara’s face to mine. She stared at us nervously until she couldn’t take the standoff any longer.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Ask Tara,” I said.
“Why are you doing this?” Tara demanded.
“Because it’s time,” I said firmly. “You can be mad at me, you can even hate me, I don’t care. You still need to tell someone.”
Tara didn’t say a word. She just glared at me while my mom continued to look back and forth between us.
“Tara,” she said softly. “Tara honey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
At the sound of her voice, Tara deflated. She turned away from me and locked eyes with my mom. I watched as her resolve weakened. I had her backed into a corner, and she knew it. She didn’t have a choice anymore.
“Cathy,” she said. “A couple weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer.”
“Oh my God,” Mom breathed.
“Let her finish, Mom,” I said.
“I was having headaches,” Tara said. “They were getting worse, so Dad insisted I go see someone. I went in for some tests, and that’s when they found it.”
“Does your father know?” Mom asked.
“No,” Tara said. “I haven’t told him, and I don’t want to. Not yet.”
“What?” Mom blinked. “Why?”
“Cathy, he isn’t even speaking to me right now,” Tara said, her voice weak. “How the hell am I supposed to tell him something like this?”
“I know he’s upset with you,” Mom said. “And I’m sure you aren’t too happy with him, but he loves you. Honey, he loves you more than anything. You have to know that.”
“What if he won’t even listen?” Tara asked. “What if I try to talk to him, and he turns away.”
“He won’t,” Mom said firmly. “He’ll listen. If you make him, he’ll listen.”
Tara sighed and shook her head. She fell into her chair and sat there for a few minutes, not speaking. I looked at my mom who was staring at Tara with fear in her eyes. I didn’t realize how hard the news would be on my mother until I saw her face. She was scared to death.
In a way, I was glad. Now, I wasn’t alone with the news. Tara’s illness was something we could all face together. My mom knew, and once Darren found out, we could get her the help she needed. We could stand by her and support her through all of it.