CHAPTER EIGHT
KARA
We drove from the little farmhouse back to Chicago, mostly in silence. The radio provided us with some background noise, but it seemed pretty clear that both of us were lost in our own thoughts and not really hearing it.
Instead of being bound and thrown into the back seat this time, I was allowed to sit in the front seat, next to Declan. It was a little bit comforting not confined to the back with the doors that only opened from the outside. I guess Declan trusted me, or maybe he knew I trusted him. Who knew. He even offered to let me stay back at the cabin by myself while he went and got his son, just to keep me out of harm's way if something went sideways.
He'd considered it until I mentioned that if any of Killian's men came back, I'd be a sitting duck. He hadn't considered that, not to mention the fac that it made better sense to get the hell out of Chicago as soon as we had Jack, rather than have him drive all the way back out to the cabin to pick me up.
We stopped off and picked up a car seat first, along with a few other baby supplies. We needed to be ready for anything. Declan seemed clueless when it came to babies and what the needed, and it wasn't like I had much experience either, but somehow we'd managed to figure it out.
After that, we also made a stop at his old place. Declan picked up a few things, grabbed some extra cash and made a trade with his friend Seth – Killian's BMW for Seth's rundown, but operable, Toyota Camry. It didn't seem like an even trade in any logical universe, but Declan explained that Seth knew what to do with the BMW to get rid of it. Taking the Camry would mean we couldn't be tracked down as easily.
Everything was happening so fast, and before I knew it, we were sitting outside of a large house in one of the fancy suburbs of Chicago. It was a beautiful home with a white picket fence and everything the picture-perfect family would need or want.
“I'm just going to knock on the door and tell her I’m taking Jack,” he said. “Killian is at the bar, it's just Meredith and the kids. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I nodded and Declan climbed out of the car. I watched as he walked the short distance to the door. Sitting in the passenger’s seat, I watched as a woman with beautiful, long red hair opened the door. I strained my ears to listen and managed to hear their conversation from where I sat.
“Declan? What are you doing here?” she asked.
She peered past him, staring right at me, then turned her attention back to Declan. I could hear it well enough to hear Declan lie through his teeth.
“I've got a place now, so I decided to come back for Jack,” he said. “Listen, I appreciate all that you've done for him, but – ”
“Killian told me you left town,” Meredith said. “For good.”
I cringed. This whole thing might not be as easy as we thought.
“Nah, just a misunderstanding,” Declan said. “We must've got our wires crossed or something.”
“I don't know why, but he told me to call him if you came by,” she said. “Just give me a second and we'll – ”
She started to close the door and Declan placed his hand on it, keeping it open. My heart raced as I watched it all unfolding, terrified by the thought of what might go down. Without thinking, I opened the car door and stepped out, and Meredith looked at me, giving me the once over as I approached the door, a smile on my face. I stood next to Declan, looking as normal and non-threatening as possible.
“Meredith is it?” I said, smiling as I stood there before her. “Thank you for caring for our son. It means the world to me that you took him in and treated him like one of your own. Declan told me how amazing you've been and I can't say thank you enough.”
Declan side-eyed me but didn't say anything.
“Jack's your son?” she asked, studying my face. “You're Crystal?”
I looked to Declan, not sure what to say. I hadn't given this much thought and was completely caught flat-footed by the question. Thankfully, he jumped in and finished for me.
“Yeah, this is Crystal, Jack's mother,” he said. “She's cleaned herself up. We've worked things out, and we'd like to get our son back.”
Meredith looked at me, then Declan, a frown pulling the corners of her mouth down, as if she wasn't sure what to think about it all. It was time to bring out the big guns, so I busted out the fake tears. I'd done some theater back in high school and one of my biggest strengths was being able to cry on command, so I used it to its full advantage.
“Meredith, you're a mother, right?” I sobbed.
“I am,” she said. “I have three kids.”
“Then, you understand how tough it can be. Especially as a new mom, and I'm only twenty-three,” I said, letting the large crocodile tears flow down my cheeks. “I freaked out and gave my son to Declan when I was feeling overwhelmed, but now I realize what a mistake it was. I didn't want to be a single mom. I honestly didn't think I could cut it and wanted the best for my son. But, Declan and I – we can work this out. We deserve to be a family, don't you think?”
I wiped my eyes and sniffed loudly. Declan just stared at me, almost in shock. I could see that he was also impressed by my little performance. “I do understand, but I can't just hand him over to you,” Meredith said. “Not without Killian's permission.”
“He's my son, Meredith,” I said. my voice growing firmer. “And Declan is his father. If we called the police right now, we could accuse you of kidnapping. Do you really want to make a spectacle like that in front of our children? In front of your neighbors?”
The look on sweet Meredith's face changed. Her eyes grew wide and she looked terrified. She glanced back over her shoulder, and I saw a little girl walking down the hallway toward us, a big, bright smile on her face. She had everything a little girl could want – a nice home and a mother who loved her. The girl obviously wanted for nothing and was given the world on a silver platter. She still had her innocent view of the world where everything was perfect. Maybe seeing her mom hauled away in cuffs would shatter that innocence. I didn't want it to go down that way, but if it meant getting out of there alive and unscathed, I'd do it.
Meredith must have seen that resolve in my eyes too, because she turned and said, “Fine. He's sleeping upstairs but let me go get him.”
She went to shut the door, but Declan held it open again. Meredith didn't argue. We stepped inside the home. I looked at all of the family photos that lined the wall inside, once again, feeling that pang of jealous shoot through me.
I looked at the photos and saw Meredith, with her fiery red hair, surrounded by three red-headed children and Killian at her side. With his good looks and polished smile, he looked like the perfect father. It was hard to believe he was the head of a violent crime family. Oh, if only his wife knew about what her husband really did, it would shatter their perfect world into a million little pieces.
As much as I might have wanted to ruin Killian's life, the little girl in front of me continued to smile, making it impossible for me to actually go through with it. This girl shouldn't have to endure that. Her life shouldn't be blown apart and she shouldn't be made to suffer for the sins of her father.
“You're Jack's mom?” she asked, giving me a grin that showed she was missing two of her front teeth.
“I am,” I continued to lie.
“He's such a cute little baby,” she said. “Please tell me he'll be back to visit us?”
A lump formed in my throat and a nervous tremor passed through my belly knowing that wouldn't be possible. Once we left that house, they likely wouldn't ever see their cousin again.
“He will,” I said. “Of course he will.”
Declan walked slowly up the steps, his head cocked listening. I knew he could hear something and the dark look that crossed his face told me that whatever it was, it wasn't good.
“What is it?” I asked.
He shook his head, silencing me with a look. He continued up the stairs, moving softly and quietly and before he reached the top, he bounded the last few steps in a run. I followed behind, unsure of what was happening until we made it to the top.
Meredith was standing there with the phone pressed to her ear, and when she saw us coming through the doorway, a look of panic crossed her face and she dropped it. We were standing in the nursery, with Jack sleeping in a crib nearby.
“You called Killian, didn't you?” Declan said.
“I did,” she said. “He asked me to. I had to, Declan.”
I walked toward the crib, looking down at the sleeping baby, but Meredith stepped in between me and the child.
“I know you're not Crystal,” she said, her voice was calm and somehow sounded different – less innocent. “I've met Crystal before, remember, Declan?”
No one said anything for a long moment. We all just stood there staring at each other, but the dark tension in the room was ramping up. It felt like the air as the clouds rolled in, just before a violent storm broke. The air around us was charged with electricity. Declan grabbed hold of Meredith's arms, pulling her away from the crib. The woman started to scream for help, but he put his hand over her mouth and held her tight against his body.
“Grab the baby,” he said to me.
I stepped up to the crib and stared down at the child. His eyes were open now, looking up at me, as he started to whimper.
“It's alright,” I said softly, picking him up in my arms.
I cradled him against me, and turned to look at Declan, not sure what to do next.
“Do you really want your kids growing up without both their parents?” he said, leaning down to whisper the words into Meredith's ears. “Because if you continue playing Killian's games, that's precisely what's going to happen. He's not the man you think he is.”
Meredith spat in Declan's face. “Maybe I'm not the woman you think I am either,” she said.
Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes full of fury and rage. Her face was twisted up in such a look of anger and defiance, she didn't look human for a moment.
“Your kids deserve better than this,” Declan snarled.
I was already out the door and down the steps. With Killian alerted and on the way, I knew we had to get out of there, and fast. Declan was right behind me, his heavy footsteps pounding down the stairs, and Meredith was chasing after him.
The little girl from we'd met before stood in the living room, now with two little boys. All three of them watched us with frightened eyes, their mouths turned down into frowns. They all looked to be on the verge of crying, and my heart ached for them.
Declan was right. Her kids deserved better than that life. Better than a father who did the things Killian did. One day, they too might be a pawn in some crime lord's game. I wanted to scoop them up, to bring them with us. I wanted to protect them from all the pain their parents would cause them. I knew it was only a matter of when, not if, they would suffer for their father's misdeeds.
Declan nudged me out the door and we took off running toward the car. Meredith didn't follow us outside, probably more concerned with appearances than letting us get away. Can't let the neighbors know you're the wife of a crime lord who's kidnapped someone's baby, right? That would just be so tacky and unseemly in such a staid old neighborhood.
Jack was crying as we made our escape, his wails growing louder even though I tried to comfort him. I hopped in the passenger side with the baby in my lap. Declan jumped in and started the car, taking off before I could buckle him into the seat. The tires of the Camry squealed on the pavement as the little car roared down the street.
“Fuck,” he said, slamming his fists on the steering wheel. “I'd hoped we'd have a few hours before he realized we were missing. We needed that head start and now – ”
“Calm down,” I said. “We got the baby. We'll get out of town.”
Declan nodded, glancing down at Jack in my lap. His eyes softened, and he took a deep breath. He smiled at the child and Jack seemed to calm down. Something that looked sort of like a smile stretched the baby's lips as he looked up at his father.
“I have no idea what I'm doing, Kara,” he said. “No clue. Just a few days ago, I didn't even know I had a kid. Now, not only do I have a kid to care for, I'm running from my damn family too.”
“It's okay. We'll figure it out, Declan.”
I reached out and touched his arm. It felt natural to do so, to help calm him down. He looked down at my hand, then up at me, and there was something in his eyes.
Appreciation.
“Thank you,” he said.
“No, thank you,” I said. “It would have been easier to just let Killian have me, but you didn't let that happen. You saved me. I owe you my life, Declan. I really do.”
“I couldn't be part of something like that,” he said. “And I couldn't let anything bad happen to you. You're as stuck in the middle of this shit as I am.
“Because you're a good man,” I said. “And you'll make a good father too, I know you will.”
“I hope so,” he mumbled.
His eyes never stopped moving, checking all of the mirrors over and over again as he drove. He stared at every car as we passed, his face lined with tension. I had no idea where we were headed, but we were leaving the city, and that was good enough for the moment. As soon as we were far enough away from Killian's house, I turned to him.
“Stop,” I said. “Let's put Jack in his car seat, just in case.”
Declan agreed, and we pulled over at a gas station. I buckled the little guy into the car seat, making sure his straps were secure, while Declan kept watch. Once Jack was all strapped in, I turned back around in my seat and gave him a nod.
“Alright,” I said. “Let's go.”
Declan had a lopsided little grin on his face. It was one of the first amused looks I'd ever seen cross his face and it made me chuckle.
“What's so funny?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said.
“No, seriously,” I said as he pulled out of the gas station parking lot and got back onto the highway.
“It's just, well, I was thinking that we actually make one hell of a team,” he said.
Leaning back in the seat, I found myself smiling from ear-to-ear, his words not just true, but also making me feel a warmth spread through my chest and belly.
“Yeah, we do, don't we?”
~ooo000ooo~
It was late by the time we pulled up to the hotel. A middle-of-nowhere, hole-in-the-wall place somewhere in Missouri. The place was several hours past St. Louis, where we'd stopped for a quick lunch. I had dozed off in the car while Declan kept driving, and only awoke when the engine stopped.
“We should be good here for the night,” he said. “I don't think even the goddamn FBI could find us out in the middle of his pit.”
I checked on the baby and smiled when I saw that he was fast asleep. I couldn't help but feel a small surge of joy looking down at that sweet little face with the tuft of bright red hair on top of his head. Reaching back, I stroked his cheek, marveling at how soft his skin was. I'd always known that I wanted kids of my own one day. Babies had always been one of my biggest weaknesses and I couldn't see one without hearing that ticking of my biological clock. Jack was already growing on me and when I looked at him, I felt my heart swell. It was hard not to love something so small and innocent. Declan got us checked into the hotel and we grabbed some things from the car before making our way to the room. The rooms were on the interior of the small building, rather than sitting on the parking lot, which made me feel a little safer. In Killian happened to find our car out front, there was no guarantee he'd figure out which room we were in. Not without making a scene, at least. I was confident enough to think that making a scene and drawing unwanted attention to himself was the last thing he wanted, which worked in our favor.
I carried Jack in his car seat, letting him continue to sleep. Being in the car as long as we had been, I was sure the poor little guy was wiped out. I knew I was. We walked down to the elevator and went to the second floor, carefully watching the area around us as if we expected Killian to jump out of every potted plant or step around every corner we passed. We were bordering on the paranoid. As far as I could see though, we were alone. Since it was already late, and most travelers were already tucked in for the night, I had a feeling that Killian or his men would have stuck out like sore thumbs.
We got to the room, and as soon as we were inside, Declan closed the doors and threw all of the locks on it, shutting us in good and tight. With the dead bolt in place, I let out a sigh of relief and turned on the light. Setting Jack's carrier down on the table, I collapsed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, relishing the feeling of laying down as opposed to being stuck in the seat of that car.
As I lay there staring up at the ceiling though, that's when my mind flashed on something I'd seen, but didn't quite register at first when we'd walked in. Hitting me like a bolt of lightning, I realized there was only one bed in the room. It wasn't a double room like Declan had requested.
I sat up and looked around the room to confirm what was in my head and saw Declan standing next to Jack's carrier, looking around, an odd expression on his face. He clearly had the same realized I'd had.
“I'll take the floor,” he said and shrugged. “I'm too tired to argue with them right now.”
He sat down beside me on the bed and kicked off his shoes, sighing and groaning as he stretched his legs out in front of him. I did the same. He got up and set up the small bassinet we had purchased earlier next to the table in front of the bed. With it folded down and locked in place, he gently lifted Jack out of the carrier and laid him in the bed..
Declan stood over the child, a look of absolute rapture on his face. He didn't want to admit it and always downplayed his ability, but he liked the idea of being a father. He was gruff and a little rough around the edges, but I knew he had it in him to be a good dad. I could see that he had a huge heart and was already developing a deep love for this child who'd been unexpectedly dropped into his life.
“You know, we've already had sex, what's it matter if we share a bed?” I asked.
Declan turned to me and smiled. “Well, if you don't mind...”
He stepped over to me, taking my face in his hands, and kissed me. It took me by surprise, but it felt nice, so I didn't push him away. Instead, I pulled him into me, then pulled him down on top of me, as we both giggled like little kids. I wasn't sure what got into us, but we just allowed ourselves to get caught up in the moment. Maybe it was all the stress, or maybe, it was the fact that we worked so well together this afternoon and succeeded it rescuing his kid, but as soon as he kissed me, we couldn't seem to pull our hands off each other.
I wrapped my legs around him, and I kissed him long and hard, the heat and passion growing between us. His erection pressed against my body. We'd already had sex once, even before he'd lived up to his promise of keeping me safe. Now, that we were safe, away from his brothers and that whole situation, I wanted him even more than before. Seeing him go to such great lengths to rescue his son and to protect me at the same time – how could I not have some feelings for the guy? He proved to me that he was not just a man of his word, but a man with a good heart. Maybe even a man who cared a little bit about me.
We stripped each other down in record time, throwing our clothes all over the room carelessly, giggling and touching each other like horny teenagers doing it for the first time. Jack slept peacefully in the small bassinet. –Declan kissed his way down my neck, then slid his tongue along my collarbone and finally down to my breasts. He set my body on fire when he started to suck on my nipple, his sapphire eyes staring up at me, as if to watch for a reaction. I ran my hands through his hair, as I arched upward, whimpering with need as he rolled my stiff nipple around his tongue.
Declan moved lower, kissing all the way down my tummy, gentle, sweet kisses, his beard tickling my skin as he went. He moved lower still, kissing and nibbling my inner thighs until I gasped, my legs quivering at his touch.
He stared up at me, and I looked down at him and watched, the fire inside of me burning bright as he dove between my legs. His tongue flicked against my clit, sending spasms of pleasure coursing through my body. I gasped out loud as his hands moved along my sides, sliding upward until they came to my breasts. His fingers found my nipples, and he played with them while going to town with his tongue down below.
“Oh God that feels so good,” I sighed.
I leaned back against the bedding, my eyes fluttering with pleasure as Declan worked his tongue all over my clit. He circled it, teased it, and judging by the sparkle in his eye and the muffled sounds he was making, he seemed to enjoy every second of eating me out. He was slow and deliberate in his movements, savoring my pussy, taking his time to lick every inch of it before thrusting his tongue between my lips, filling me up with it.
I arched my body upward, groaning as he fucked me with his tongue.
“Fuck me, Declan,” I cried out. “Please, I need you inside of me.”
Declan didn't take my commands to heart though. Instead he continued fucking me with his tongue, staring up at me as he licked and sucked my hot, wet opening, filling me up with his tongue. His fingers continued playing with my nipples, pinching them a little too hard. I gasped, but the pain actually intensified the pleasure, and that's what pushed me over the edge.
My hands found the back of his head, and I pushed him down into me as the pressure inside of me built to a crescendo. I suddenly needed him deeper, closer, and my legs latched onto his shoulders at the same time. I raked my nails along his scalp as he continued working his magic with that golden tongue of his.
“Yes, come for me, Kara,” he whispered against my pussy, still working his tongue over me. “Come on my face.”
My nails dug into his scalp even deeper, so much so I feared I might draw blood, but I couldn't control it. I came hard, scratching and clawing at him as I tried to muffle my sounds, afraid I'd wake the baby. My body shook and trembled as my orgasm rocked me, sucking the air right out of my lungs. I gasped and sputtered until eventually, it subsided – though, my need for him only grew stronger. I needed him inside of me. I couldn't wait any longer.
I pulled on his hair, yanking him up on top of me, but Declan had other plans. He moved up my body, but instead of staying on top of me, he grabbed onto my hips and flipped us over so that I was on top of him.
I sat straddling his hips, showing off my body as I let my eyes roam up and down his taut, corded physique as well. His hands moved to my sides, and he traced his fingertips along my hips and tummy, sending small shivers rippling through me.
“God, you're so fucking beautiful,” he said.
I grabbed hold of his cock firmly. I locked my eyes onto his as I guided it toward my dripping wet opening. His lips were still wet and glistening, dripping with my juices, and seeing it only intensified my need for him. I rubbed my body against his length, stroking him with my inner thighs as I fell forward, kissing his lips, reveling in the taste of myself upon them.
His hands were now on my back, kneading me and guiding me up and down. Feeling him rub himself against me sent a shiver throughout my body.
Declan nibbled my ear lobe and groaned, “I need to be inside you, Kara.”
His wish was my command. I sat up again, taking his cock more firmly in my hand and again guided it to my opening. I locked eyes with him as I slipped the head of his cock between my lips and then slid down the length of him. Because I was so wet, he slid in easily, stretching me open and filling me up in a matter of seconds.
I groaned as he gripped my ass tightly, holding me in place. I rocked back and forth on top of him, relishing the sensation of having his long, thick cock against my walls, my clit rubbing against his pelvic bone.
The sensation was so amazing, I was having trouble concentrating or keeping a steady rhythm. It wasn't long before my body was moving faster, and I was bouncing up and down on top of him, giving him everything I had. I slammed myself down on his stiff member, impaling myself over and over wildly. He moved with me, meeting my movements and guided me with his hands.
I traced my fingers along the scars on his chest, circling the tattoos that mingled in with them. I leaned forward and planted my hands against his chest, bracing myself as I pounded against him. My breathing was ragged and sweat dripped from my brow as I continued fucking him hard and fast.
I fell all the way forward, my hands on either side of his face, and our mouths met. Declan's tongue filled my mouth, raking along my teeth and the inside of my lips as our bodies moved together in blissful unison. His hands moved upward, groping my ass, then he trailed his fingers up my spine, moving them upward until they were tangled in my hair. Once he had a good, firm grip on my hair, he pulled me closer, kissed me harder.
My moans were growing louder and harder to control, as were my movements. I was on the brink and I could tell that he was too. His breath was growing more and more ragged, and he was grunting, thrusting himself into me hard and fast. He pulled on my hair, lifting my lips from his.
“I'm going to come,” he groaned.
“Me too,” I whimpered.
“I shouldn't come inside you again,” he muttered, but it was too late.
My orgasm rushed over me, my body tensing up, and I pressed my hips down, pinning him beneath me as I bucked and thrashed wildly. Declan's nails dug into my flesh and his body stiffened beneath me as I cried out, and I knew it was too late for him to pull out. He came right along with me, an animalistic groan escaping his lips as he blew his load deep within me.
When my orgasm subsided, I collapsed on top of him, my legs quivering from the intensity of my climax. His heart was beating hard and fast in his chest, and he stared up at the ceiling, a look of absolute bliss painting his features. Slowly, he seemed to come back to himself and he pushed the hair away from my face, then kissed me gently. I was almost afraid he'd be mad at me for not stopping, for not giving him the chance to pull out, but I couldn't stop it. It had been too late for us, either way.
He was probably right. I knew we probably shouldn't be having sex without some sort of protection – something that hadn't even occurred to me. I was just so caught up in the moment that I didn't stop to think.
I slid off him, curling up at his side and he pulled me in close.
“I'm sorry – ”
“Shh,” he said, kissing me silent. “Not your fault. We'll just have to be more careful in the future.”
In the future. I didn't know if he'd intended to say it, but he'd said there would be a future for us. The thought of it filled me with warmth, made my heart swell, and brought a smile to my lips. Of course, having a future together also meant, we'd be having even more sex. The thought made my pussy quiver, but the thought of a future spent with Declan filled me with a warmth I'd never experienced with another person before. I stared deep into his eyes and smiled.
“We'll be careful, yes,” I said. “In the future.”
“Good. Because I really don't need any more surprise babies,” he teased, kissing the tip of my nose.
Oh, if only we'd been more careful from the start.
~ooo000ooo~
A couple weeks had passed, and we were still on the run. We were staying in another shitty motel in yet another small, shitty town. This one wasn't too far from the first, but the names of these podunk little towns were all starting to blend together.
Irrationally, I'd hoped that when we ran, we'd end up in someplace like California. But, we hadn't actually gone all that far – mainly because we were running out of money. Declan tried to work odd jobs here and there while I watched the baby, but we still didn't have enough money to go very far.
We were still stuck somewhere in Missouri. Some God forsaken, Midwestern town, not far enough from Chicago to feel completely safe from Killian's grasp. But, so far, we'd been lucky. We hadn't seen hide nor hair of Killian or any of his goons. While I felt somewhat safe, I didn't want to jinx us by declaring the crisis over. We still had to be smart, vigilant. At least, until we got out of the Midwest.
Most of the money Declan made doing the odd jobs when he could find them, went to Jack. That's just the way it was. We tried to switch things up now and then, but without gas money, we stayed pretty close by.
Today, he was working at a local mechanic's shop. A twelve-hour shift that would net him a couple hundred bucks. Not enough to get far away, but enough to eat on for a few days. That was something, at least. I'd been told to stay inside, with Jack. To not leave for any reason whatsoever. That was most days for me, and frankly, I was growing impatient. I was tired of being locked up and getting a case of cabin fever. I loved the little guy, but I needed some fresh air. I needed something besides the four walls of the hotel room to stare at. I was going a little stir crazy cooped up all day, every day.
After flipping through the shitty cable lineup, I turned off the TV. Jack was lying beside me on the bed, content to be staring at his fingers. As cute as he was, I needed some sunshine.
“Let's go on a walk, little man,” I said. “Just a little one.”
In the back of my mind, there was another reason for me wanting to venture out without Declan. My period was late – like a week late. While we'd made sure to use condoms after the first two times we'd had sex, we hadn't been careful at first.
Because I was normally so regular, the fear of being late was gnawing away at me in the back of my mind. As were the words he'd said – specifically, about not needing another surprise baby. He was right about that. Jack was a handful on his own as it was. We really didn't need two kids to lug around and try to hide in this new life on the run. Who knew when it would be safe again for us to settle down in just one place? Who knew if it ever would be?
A baby was the last thing we needed, I knew that. I also knew, if given the choice, Declan wouldn't want to keep it. While I, on the other hand, wouldn't dream of having an abortion. I was raised Catholic, but even though my religion had lapsed, I stared down at Jack and knew that if I carried a child inside of me, I'd love it from the moment I found out it was growing in my belly. I told myself that maybe my period was late because of all the stress we'd been under. It happened a lot. Stress, yes, that had to be it. Still, it was better safe than sorry, and since there was a Walgreens down the street, I figured I should probably run down and pick something up. Might as well find out for sure, then I could make a decision about what to do. If nothing else, it would put my mind at ease.
Or give me a whole new set of worries to carry.
But I needed to know because this limbo I was stuck in was driving me absolutely bananas. I grabbed the hotel key card and carried Jack in my arms, making sure no one was outside the room before I left. The coast was clear, so I stepped into the hallway and walked down toward the elevator. A nearby door opened up and I held my breath, my heart thumping hard in my breast. An elderly woman stepped out of the room, smiling at me.
“Oh, look at that little cutie,” she said, a strong Southern accent ringing through her words. “What's his name?”
“Jack,” I mumbled.
“What a darling little boy,” she said. “He's just precious.”
I didn't think it was very likely she was related to Killian, so I let my guard down a little bit. She seemed like a sweet old lady. Completely non-threatening. She was headed to the elevator too, and she made small talk, asking me about my “son.” I just went with it.
“We're On our way to California,” the woman said once inside the elevator. “Thought a road trip would be fun. Boy, were we wrong. I already told Walter that he can drive home, I'll buy myself a plane ticket instead.”
I laughed along with her, feeling more at ease and normal than I had in weeks. Still, I had to keep an eye out. I couldn't let my guard down completely. When the elevator doors opened, I let her step out first and followed close behind, hiding behind her as best I could until I was able to see the lobby was empty except for a couple of employees who were milling about.
I hurried to the exit and stepped outside, keeping my head down as I walked through the parking lot. I held Jack close to me and walked swiftly down the street. I saw the familiar Walgreens emblem in the distance and headed straight for it, feeling a rush of relief the moment I stepped into the store. Safe. Completely unnoticed and unmolested.
“Good morning,” a young kid said cheerily from behind the counter.
Hearing his voice nearly caused me to jump out of my skin. My heart beating hard again, I spun around and realized he was just an employee standing there looking at me like I'd lost my damn mind. I cleared my throat and smiled politely.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Anything I can help you find, miss?”
I scanned the signage above the aisles, feeling like my head was spinning. Also feeling like an idiot for nearly having a seizure when he'd greeted me. All I wanted was to get what I needed and get the hell out of there.
“Uhh yeah, pregnancy tests?” I asked, pitching my voice low. “What aisle would they be in?”
“Aisle twelve,” he said. “Would you like me to show you?”
He was a young boy, couldn't be older than seventeen. I had no desire to stand in the pregnancy test aisle with him helping me. He's the last person who should know about such things. “No thank you. I can find it. I appreciate your help though,” I muttered, heading toward aisle twelve.
I walked through the store and then turned down the aisle, finding it empty. Thank God. I adjusted Jack in my arms as I scanned the different products. Finally, I found a row of pregnancy tests and grabbed the cheapest one. Then, just in case, I grabbed another before hustling back to the counter. I moved about the store freely, not seeing any shady figures lurking behind the potato chip displays. There was nobody casting sidelong looks at me from the toothbrush aisle. I didn't feel a looming threat at all. It all seemed so easy, that my paranoia faded. I was no longer looking over my shoulder for someone following us. It actually felt nice to be freed of that burden.
When I got to the counter, the kid who'd greeted me called me over to his register. As he rang me up, he made a little bit of small talk. I guessed it had to be a lonely job at times – especially when there were no customers buzzing in and out of the store.
“How old's your son?” he asked.
“Uhh, about three months now,” I said.
It was then that I realized I didn't have any cash on me. Declan kept all the money, mainly because I didn't need any since I never left the room. I had my wallet on me, and I knew I still had a few dollars in my checking account – probably just enough to cover the cost of the tests – so I pulled out my debit card.
“Hoping to give the little guy a sibling, huh?” he remarked as he rang up the pregnancy tests.
When he saw that I wasn't smiling nor happy about the idea of having a second baby, a sheepish look spread across his face and color flared in his cheeks.
“Oh, uh, sorry,” he said. “I should probably learn to keep my mouth shut.”
“It's okay,” I muttered. “You didn't know. Not your fault.”
He put them in a bag for me and slid it across the counter. I swiped my card, took the receipt the kid handed me, and we were out the door as quickly as possible.
As we stepped into the afternoon sunshine, I glanced around the parking lot of the store, saw that it was mostly empty, except for few older women and an elderly couple, so I booked it across. I hustled down the sidewalk as quickly as I could, and I didn't stop until I got to the hotel room, suddenly feeling the need to just get back inside. As much as I'd wanted to see the sun and breathe a little fresh air, now I just wanted the results of the test – and hide away from the awkwardness of that whole encounter with the cashier.
The test was the priority though. I needed to know. Then I could make a decision about what we were going to do. I put Jack down for a nap, and then went into the bathroom. I tore open the packaging, pulled out the little booklet and read the directions several times over before attempting the test. The wait to get the results was excruciating. It was the longest few minutes of my entire life.
I paced the small bathroom, my arms folded over my chest, my stomach hurting from the ungodly amount of stress that was pressing down on me. I prayed to whoever was listening that the test turn out to be negative. Sure, I wanted kids – someday. But certainly not now. Not while we were on the run from the Irish mafia. Not with a man who wasn't even sure he wanted the kid he already had. He was a good father to Jack, but I could see that he worried so much.
I knew he felt unworthy and not up to the job. Felt like he was going to do Jack a disservice by trying to raise him. I knew Declan felt like he'd get a better shake in life if he had a better father. A better role model for him to pattern himself after.
I was starting to care about Declan – I didn't want to cause him any more problems than I already had. Because of me, he was struggling to even support himself and his kid. He lost everything when he upped and left Chicago, left his family behind – all because of me. If I were pregnant, well, he'd have even more to worry about heaped onto his plate and I couldn't imagine him handling it all that well.
After enough time had passed, my stomach roiling with nerves, I picked up the stick and stared at it. I looked at the directions again, trying to decipher if I wanted one line or two. It was hard to make out. As I stared at it, the image became clear, and it obviously didn't matter to the gods what I wanted. I leaned against the wall, crumpling against it and sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, pregnancy test in my hand.
It was positive.
I was pregnant.
~ooo000ooo~
I didn't know how long I'd been sitting there. Hours maybe. But, I'd stayed there, in the room, sitting on the bed with my knees drawn up and pressed to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. My head rested on my knees and I tried to stave off the dark, ominous feelings that washed over me, threatened to pull me under.
I waited for Declan to come home, knowing that we'd need to talk. That we'd need to figure out what we were going to do. I happened to glance at the clock, saw that it was almost time for him to be getting back, when there was a knock on the door. My stomach lurched, and I fought back a wave of nausea as I thought about the conversation we were about to have.
“Lose your key again, baby?” I chuckled, trying to sound like everything was normal.
I climbed off the bed and walked over to the door. Without even thinking, I turned the deadbolt then turned the knob. The door was already partially open when I realized my mistake.
I stared into a pair of deep blue eyes. But, it wasn't Declan staring back at me.
It was Rory.
I tried to slam the door in his face, but he was stronger than me and caught it before I could get it closed. He slammed his shoulder into it, knocking me backward hard. I stumbled backward, landing on my butt on the floor as the door flew inward, crashing against the wall behind it. I quickly jumped to my feet, but he pushed me down to the floor again, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Surprised to see me?” he asked, a creepy little smirk on his face.
Rory looked me up and down, appraising me. He licked his lips and I could see the naked desire in his eyes. If he'd had his way, he probably would have torn my clothes off and fucked me right there – right before he killed me. Thankfully, I knew it wasn't his decision to make and I didn't think Killian would let him do that to me.
I slowly got to my feet again, and this time, Rory let me. He took a few steps forward and I retreated until I felt my back bump up against the wall behind me. I swallowed hard, my body quivering with fear.
“How'd you find me?” I asked, pressed up against the wall.
I was hoping to keep him talking, to hopefully delay things until Declan got home. Or, at the very least, I hoped that maybe someone would walk by, see what was happening – see how terrified I was – and call for help. Anything. I was praying for a miracle or anything at that point.
Jack was asleep in his crib still, and from where we were standing, Rory couldn't see him. The bed blocked him from view. Please let him stay asleep, I thought to myself. If I had to be taken, at least leave the baby. Leave him for Declan. Maybe Declan would figure out what happened and just take off with his son and find a new life. That was my hope.
“Easy. We've been tracking your debit card purchases,” he said. “Lucky for us, you used your card today. Not so lucky for you, I guess.”
That's when I noticed the gun in his hand. It was a small, almost invisible weapon pressed between his jacket and his body, but now that I'd seen it, I couldn't take my eyes off it. It wasn't large, but I was certain it would still make a pretty big hole in me. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid.
“Come with me, and you won't get hurt,” he said. “Killian wants you in one piece, but if you make this difficult for me, I'll have no choice but to do something you won't like. Though, truth be told, I'm kind of hoping you put up a little bit of a fight. That shit turns me on like you wouldn't believe.”
I was on the verge of delivering a scathing reply when Jack whimpered softly. Rory stopped moving, looking around the room with wild, frightened eyes.
“What was that?” he said.
“I'll go with you,” I said. “I'll make it easy for you. I won't resist.”
I took a deep breath and walked toward the door, pulling Rory's attention away from the whimpering baby. Trying to keep him distracted and his focus on me, rather than on Jack.
“Just promise not to hurt me,” I said. “Please.”
Rory grinned at me, a creepy look that sent chills down my spine. “I promise to not hurt you until Killian says it's alright. Once he gives me the green light though, all bets are off, baby. Once Killian says we're all good, I'm gonna hurt you in ways you didn't even know you could hurt. And I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of it. Now let's go.”
I stepped outside, Rory hot on my heels, and closed the hotel room door behind me, grateful that he'd been too distracted to even notice Jack. Still, there was more than one baby I had to think about in this whole fucking mess – like the one growing inside of me.
I told myself to just move slowly, to think everything through, and avoid doing anything stupid. Avoid doing anything that would set Rory off. I couldn't afford to have him out of his mind with rage. If I cooperated and didn't piss him off, I just might come out of this alive. For right now though, I knew I had to protect Jack.