Chapter 1
“I’ve never been more proud of you and you have certainly come a long way from when you were that naive girl on the playground. The boys were drawn to you like a moth to a flame and they would constantly pull your pigtails to get your attention.” My mother was always praising my accomplishments and getting my degree to be a psychologist was the crowning achievement of my young career in its infancy.
I thought I could make it big, but in the few months I had my license it was becoming painfully obvious a psychologist was a dime a dozen. I was surprised to get the message on my phone and I was on my way to a law firm which had been in the news in the past few months.
“I don’t even have the job and you make it sound like they have no reason to reject me. I’m sure they have other candidates vying for the position and besides, it’s only temporary. The owner is looking to evaluate his staff after a grueling case.” I’d always believed in the sanctity of client confidentiality.
“I’ve always told you that life is full of little disappointments and you have to take the time to realize what is important.” I knew what she was going to say and it had become a running joke with her getting the last word. “Felicia, don’t you want to settle down with a nice young man and give me grandchildren? I know you have been concentrating on your career, but you haven’t even mentioned any man.” I felt like I was the one being interrogated and she was good at putting the spotlight on me to make me feel uncomfortable.
I was hands free in my white Mercedes and I was navigating traffic like a seasoned professional. I’d only been in town for the past few months trying to put up my shingle and barely making ends meet.
I wore my professionalism like a badge of honor to signify to others that I had made it. I had to dress for success with a tailored Donna Karan suit which I used on many occasion to try to lure potential clients through my door.
“I really don’t have time to debate this issue and you know what my answer is going to be.” I looked into the mirror and I saw that my hair was perfect with a ponytail and glasses to give me an air of professional detachment.
“One of these days, a man is going to slam into you and you won’t even know that he is your soul mate. Open your eyes and you might realize the best thing in life is right around the corner.” My mother was a big proponent for a happily ever after. I had learned the hard way that guys usually had only one thing on their mind.
I might have been lumping them all into one category, but none of them had proved to me that there was one good one among them. I couldn’t negate the possibility of one slipping through the cracks, but I was too jaded to notice the errant looks of the one that got away.
“I’ll be by Sunday for dinner and you better not have ulterior motives like setting me up on one of your blind dates. You’ve always considered yourself to be a romantic at heart and you sometimes don’t know when to leave something alone.” She had no problem picking up cupids bow and firing indiscriminately. I was more selective when it came to matters of the heart and being burned too many times had left me suspicious of everyone’s motives.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to find somebody. You have a great job, you’re beautiful and you have your mother’s youthful genes.” Having a unique sense of someone’s mind had given me an unfair advantage over the opposite sex. I had no problem ferreting out those who had mommy issues and those pretending to be something they weren’t.
“I know you probably have more to say, but I need to cut this short. Jules Mackenzie is going to be there in person to take a personal interest in his staff. I don’t think that he would’ve even considered going down this road without somebody twisting his arm. I’m sure that it’s probably a woman and there’s no way a man would admit to having psychological issues.” I was only telling her what she needed to hear and the rest was going to be covered under the same client confidentiality I used with other patients.
“I know you’re just trying to get rid of me and I promise not to ambush you with a potential suitor on Sunday.” My father disappeared when I was young never to be seen from again and it left her to raise me on her own. I never did have an interest to track him down and make him face me once and for all. If he didn’t want me, then I didn’t want anything to do with him.
“I appreciate the effort it takes for you to mind your own business. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy our time together, but maybe we don’t have to speak about the elephant in the room.” I had a feeling being abandoned at an early age had forced me into my choice of career. I wanted to know what made people tick on the inside and not what others perceived on the outside.
It was an occupational hazard to look at someone and know their story by only their body language. I had become quite proficient at making snap judgments.
There were so many people in pain and the world continued to turn without anybody realizing what was happening behind the smile.
“I’m your mother and I will never stop meddling in your life for as long as I live. I want nothing but the best for you and you deserve the kind of happiness only dreamed of in fairy tales. I will do everything in my power to give you what you didn’t have growing up. I was your mother and your father all rolled into one package. You never did have a father figure and maybe that makes you hesitant to take the plunge.” I saw the building ahead and the wall of windows leading up to the top floor was indicative of the design.
I had seen it several times in passing, but this was the first time I was going to see within the inner sanctum. A went through security, showing my credentials and getting a temporary identification badge to enter onto the premises.
“I shouldn’t complain and you’ve always been the voice of reason in a din of indecision. I sometimes forget what kinda sacrifices you made to make a life for me. I will always be grateful. I really don’t know how I could’ve come this far without you.” It was always nice to throw her a bone and it might even get her off my back for the time being.
“You might be some big shot therapist, but I can see right through you.” She was breaking up and being underground in the parking structure had made reception spotty. “I…everything…want…happy.” It finally went dead with only a dial tone, but I think I understood what she said from the short burst of communication I received.
She was essentially telling me she wanted me to be happy and that everything would work out exactly as god planned. I’d stepped away from religion and I never could understand the practice of the collection plate.
I parked in my assigned spot for temporary visitors and stepped out to the smell of exhaust in the air. I walked with confidence in my white suit of armor and a black briefcase in my hand. The glasses were for show and I had 2020 vision.
I got into the elevator and the first thing I noticed was that I could see below me into the black chasm. It was a little disconcerting to feel like I was walking on air. I found myself breathing heavily and trying to compose my nerves with the possibility of the floor opening up and sending me to my untimely demise.
I glanced down at my phone and I brought up the text message sent to me by Jules or maybe somebody who was working for him. “Felicia Valentine I’ve heard some good things about your work and I would like to pick your brain on my staff. They were affected deeply by the case that was quite prevalent in the media as of late. I would like to make a proposition and I believe I have an offer you would be a damn fool to refuse.” It was the start of a lengthy correspondence which ended with dollar signs in my eyes. It was a temporary assignment, but the money was enough to keep food and a roof over my head for quite some time to come. I wasn’t transparent with my mother.
I watched the numbers slowly rise and I tried not to look down but it was a compelling sensation to see how close I was to the hand of death on my shoulder. There had to be a method to the madness, I couldn’t quite figure out why terrifying one self by getting into an elevator of complete glass was a good idea.