Ian

The next night after work I walk into my bedroom and Harbor is standing in front of my dresser zipping up the red dress I bought her when she first moved in with me. “Holy shit, you look amazing.”

She fidgets with her earrings and I move to her, not sure why she seems nervous and wanting to calm her. Maybe she has something special planned for us and she’s unsure about it.

“What did I do right to get to see this dress again?” I ask, tracing the curve of her breasts through the red material.

Harbor doesn’t answer right away and a feeling of dread takes over. My instincts are telling me I’m not going to like her answer.

“I forgot to tell you last night during dinner.” Harbor’s cheeks flame, I assume at the memory of eating pizza naked in bed after a long bout of fantastic sex.

I love that she still gets embarrassed talking about sex, and for a moment I forget what she just said.

But then she speaks again. “There is a wrap party for my commercial tonight. Mitch’s going to pick me up in—” Harbor looks at her phone, “ten minutes. There are going to be a lot of movie and theater execs there and I’m hoping to network tonight. Do I look okay?” She makes a slow turn, reminding me of the dress’s plunging back.

“You look beautiful,” I mutter, and watch her eyes dim.

“I know you’re upset. I’m sorry, Ian, I was going to tell you, but when you got home we started dancing and… Well, you know.” Her hand reaches up and strokes my chest.

I want to back away from her but force myself to stay where I am. Her eyes search my face and I remove all hint of emotion from my expression. Harbor has wiggled her way into my heart and I was stupid not to notice it happening. Thankfully, I’ve caught it before I could let it go too far. Even if it means hurting her.

“Go on, Harbor. Go network or whatever the hell you need to do to get where you need to be. Don’t let me stop you. It’s not like we’re a couple. I can’t tell you who you can and cannot see.” I step back, letting the distance between us speak for itself, and harden my heart when her hand stays suspended in the air. “You go on and have fun tonight. Don’t worry about me. I couldn’t care less what you do.”

Her eyes fill up with tears and I shut my heart down completely. I feel control slowly start to come back to me and I can breathe a little easier.

“Ian, please.”

A knock on the door stops Harbor from finishing.

“Your agent’s here,” I sneer before walking away from her, blindly heading for my office down the hall.

“Ian.” There’s another knock. Harbor sighs behind me before I hear her detouring toward the door. “I’ll be home tonight. Ian, I’m not like her.”

My whole body goes stiff at her words, and when the door clicks shut I stand in the middle of the hallway and stare at it without any idea of what to do.

Did Collette tell Harbor about Vanessa?

No, Collette wouldn’t do that to me. As much as she likes to give me a hard time and beg me to let Harbor in by telling her about Vanessa, I know in my gut that Collette would never tell my secrets. Harbor has made a lucky guess. That is all.

I rub my hand over my face and an image of my brother and Vanessa pops into my head. It feels like it was yesterday and I want to be sick. Going to the couch, I sit, prop my elbows on my knees and press the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to get rid of the image of my cheating ex-fiancé.

The image distorts and before I can stop it I’m picturing Harbor and Mitch in my bed in Malibu. Harbor’s moaning in ecstasy as Mitch’s hands roam all over her body. I grab a book off the coffee table and throw it across the room. It smacks the wall with a loud bang but it does nothing to curb my anger.

Before I destroy my house, I get up and head to the kitchen, deciding getting drunk is probably a better outlet than throwing a bunch of shit that I’ll eventually have to pick up later. It would be great to have to explain to Harbor why I tore the house apart. She doesn’t need to know the extent of my feelings for her. That’s something I’ll keep to myself and the bottle of bourbon I pull out of my cabinet.

* * *

“Ian, come to bed.” Harbor’s voice breaks into my drunken state.

I crack an eye open and immediately shut it when the room begins to spin. I clutch the half empty bottle of bourbon to my stomach as if it’s a teddy bear.

“Ian, are you drunk?” Harbor tries to pull the bottle out of my hand but I hold it tighter.

“Go to bed, Harbor,” I say and I’m surprised how slurred my words sound.

Harbor sighs and she takes off my shoes before tucking a blanket around me. She tries to wrestle the bottle out of my hand again but gives up when she realizes I’m not letting it go tonight.

I wake up with my head pounding when my phone rings next to my ear. Smacking around until I find it, I answer the call without opening my eyes.

“Hello.” The word is as thick as the lining of my mouth and my hand is aching from holding onto the bourbon bottle all night.

“Where are you? You have a meeting in thirty minutes,” Collette says loudly over the phone and I pull it away from my ear.

“I’m not going to make it.”

“What do you mean, you aren’t going to make it? Is there something wrong with Harbor?”

I laugh as images of Harbor and Mitch naked surge through my head and I resist the urge to vomit all over the carpet.

“Ian, this isn’t funny. What the hell is going on?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Harbor. I’m just not feeling well. Cancel all my meetings today and reschedule them. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I end the call before Collette can talk anymore.

Putting my bourbon security blanket on the table, I stumble into my bedroom, removing my clothes as I go. Harbor is curled up on my side of the bed. Her eyes are swollen and it looks like she cried all night. I shake my head, refusing to let her soften me. Throwing my clothes in the hamper, I climb in the shower, trying to find some semblance of feeling human.

Harbor is still sleeping when I dress and head out of the apartment. I don’t recall what time she came in but I know it must have been in the early morning because I vaguely remember daylight shining through the window.

After grabbing a cup of coffee at a nearby diner, I sit down and watch New York’s busy foot traffic, wincing every time a horn honks.

I can’t stop picturing Harbor and Mitch together and before I know what I’m doing, my phone’s against my ear and Mitch’s annoying voice is on the line.

“Southernland Agency.”

“Mitch, this Ian. Habor’s well, you know.”

“Ian, what a weird greeting. What can I do for you? Is Harbor okay?”

Annoyance flairs up my spine and I don’t bother hiding it. “I was wondering if you had time to talk today?”

“Is Harbor with you? Is there something wrong?”

“Harbor is fine,” I snap at the idiot as another picture of them naked rolls through my head. “I just wanted to know if you had some free time.”

“I have a meeting at noon. If you want to come by now, we can talk.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” I end the call without waiting for him to respond. Throwing my empty cup in the trash, I walk toward Mitch’s office, ready to get this over with and remove the mental image of him naked with Harbor completely from my head.

“Ian, come on in.” Mitch’s smug face is lit up like a kid on Christmas and I hate him even more. “What can I do for you this fine morning?” Shutting the door to his office, he gestures for me to take a seat.

“I’m here to find out what the hell you’re planning with Harbor.” I’ve never been one to beat around the bush. It’s one of the reasons I’m so successful. I know what I want and I don’t shy away from the questions I have. Even the ones that make me sick, when I have to ask them.

Mitch throws his head back and lets out a loud belly laugh, as if I’m amusing him. My fists clench at my sides and I remind myself that I do not make rash actions. Another thing that makes me a good businessman.

“You hate it, don’t you? You hate the fact that you can’t control her. You let her live with you and you provide everything she needs, but she still has her own free will. I bet it ate you up last night, not knowing what she was doing.” Mitch leans over his desk and his cocky grin spreads over his face.

“Don’t act so smug. I could get her to leave you for another agency.”

Mitch chuckles and leans even closer. I can smell the mint from his toothpaste when he opens his mouth. “She’s not leaving me. She might be leaving you, especially since I fucked her all night last night. I didn’t realize a little Kentucky girl could be so adventurous in bed.”

Fuck being a businessman. My fist connects with Mitch’s arrogant face. His head rockets back at the force of my fist and his nose immediately gushes blood.

“You’re stupider than I thought you were,” Mitch says, smiling widely.

My heart sinks to my stomach as Mitch puts his shirt to his nose but continues smiling like he got exactly what he wanted.

“Congratulations, you just pushed the best thing that could have ever happened in your miserable life away. Harbor’s mine now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Once she finds out that you came to my office and punched me, she’ll know you don’t trust her and it’s bye-bye Harbor.”

I push out of the chair and head outside. My hand is throbbing but it has nothing on the pain in my chest. Mitch is right. When Harbor finds out I went to his office and punched his fucking stupid nose in, she’s going to flip. There is no explanation I can give her that will make her forgive me. Mitch knew what he was doing from the moment I called him this morning. I played right into his hand.

I’m staring at my phone wondering if I should call Harbor or just wait it out as I retreat to my penthouse. I don’t notice there is a person sitting in front of my front door until I almost trip over her.

“Vanessa,” I say in complete shock. The sting of my knuckles lets me know I’m not dreaming my ex-fiancé, that she is real.

“Ian.” Vanessa scrambles up, her black hair piled high on her head in a messy ponytail that must have taken her hours to perfect. Her green eyes scan my face and her blood red lips hold a hint of a shy smile.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can we go inside? We need to talk.”

I check my watch. If Harbor got up, she’s at yoga for at least another hour. So I know Mitch won’t be able to out our little altercation just yet. I open the door and Vanessa struts in, her hips swinging in the tiny black romper that hugs her ass seductively. She dressed up for this occasion and as much as I hate it that she showed up, I’m curious to hear what she has to say.

Vanessa turns suddenly, catching me staring at her ass and smiles before her eyes fill up with tears. “Ian, I’m so sorry,” she cries, leaping into my arms, which instinctively wrap around her.

Vanessa sobs into my shirt as she confesses how much she misses me and sleeping with my brother was the biggest mistake she has ever made. I hold her as she pleads her case, trying to pay attention to what she’s saying while wondering what Mitch is going to tell Harbor.

Wondering if I already lost her.

Wondering if Vanessa coming back into my life is a sign that I need to move on, or back to something I know.