Ian

“I’m leaving you, Ian,” Vanessa says as I’m pouring my morning coffee.

Her purse is thrown over her shoulder and a rolling suitcase sits next to her on my tiled floor, the epitome of the chic, rich bitch who’s had enough.

I lean against the counter and take a sip of the bitter brew, watching her. I knew this was coming. I’m surprised she lasted almost a month. “I’ll have a moving company pack your stuff. Text me where you want it sent.”

“I can’t believe you!” Vanessa screams, throwing off her sophisticated mask to show true emotion. “I’m breaking up with you. I’m leaving you, and all you can say is text me where you want my stuff to go. You’re unbelievable.”

“What do you want me to say, Vanessa?”

She gives a halfhearted laugh and pulls her sunglasses over her eyes. “Nothing, I don’t want you to say anything. I thought you would change. I hoped you would stop micromanaging everything and let go of your constant need to control every situation. You’re worse than before,” she says calmly, her mask back in place.

“This is who I am, Vanessa. I’m not going to change, and you of all people should understand my need to control my life.”

“Yes, I know. I’m the one who slept with your brother, but you’re the one who pushed me away. I was never anything to you but another step in the right direction. Tell me, were you ever happy with me?”

I stare at her, not knowing what she wants me to say. Was I happy with her?

Vanessa shakes her head. “Were you ever happy?”

Harbor’s face flashes in my mind. Her wide smile as she flops down on the couch, telling me about her latest audition or something that had caught her eye. Coming home to Harbor in my New York penthouse and being able to spend the rest of my day with her. I was happy with Harbor.

“Never mind. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for. But until you let go of this need to control every minute detail you’re never going to be happy.” Vanessa grabs her suitcase and walks to the door, her heels clacking against the floor. “Goodbye, Ian. I hope you can find happiness.”

After she walks out, I don’t know how long I stare at the door thinking about what she said. A knock on the door breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Tyler, what the hell are you doing here?” I ask when I open the door to my brother. A residue of pain from his betrayal skitters along my nerves, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen him.

“I heard Vanessa left you and figured it was time for us to talk.”

I nod and move out of the way so he can come inside. Tyler plops down on my couch and I can’t help but smile at his nonchalance. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed my older brother.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Whiskey,” he answers.

I move to the bar, fill up two glasses and hand him one. I sit across from him on my recliner and wait. Tyler takes a sip and nods his approval.

“How did you know Vanessa left me? She’s only been gone a couple of hours, at most.”

Tyler inhales and takes another drink before settling his glass on the table and relaxing back into the couch. “She called me and told me she was leaving you. She wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I process the information and I’m surprised when I don’t feel jealous that they are still talking. “I was unaware the two of you still talk.”

“We keep in touch. Mostly we talk about you.”

“Me?”

“Ian, what happened between me and Vanessa was a huge mistake. Every day of my life I wish I could take it back.”

I hold up my hand to stop him from explaining. I no longer feel the need for an apology, but Tyler keeps talking.

“I’m not proud of what I did with Vanessa. I hate that it ruined our relationship, but I will say I’m glad the two of you aren’t together. When Vanessa told me she was going to New York to get you back, I tried to talk her out of it. You two were never right for each other. I wish it wasn’t my fuck up that broke you two up in the first place, but I was happy when you ended. She wasn’t the one for you.”

“And how did you come to that conclusion?” I take a drink and will my hands to stop shaking. I know he’s onto something.

Vanessa and I weren’t right for each other and I’m glad she had the nerve to leave me, because as cowardly as it would have been, I would have let things keep going the way they were.

“She didn’t challenge you. Ian, I’ve seen you grow your company from the ground up. You thrive on the competition. Vanessa was too easy for you. You two just met and started dating.”

“She understood the demands the company put on me. Or at least I thought she did until I found you two together. I can’t have someone who is in constant need of attention.”

“No, you need someone who has dreams like you do. A woman who understands what it takes to strive for what you want, and will be there to support you in your dreams and you can support her in hers. You need someone who will make you laugh and that won’t let you be too serious in life. Ian, you’re too organized. I worry about you. You need to have fun.”

I finish the rest of my drink and lean back into the recliner. Tyler stares at me, waiting for me to say something after his revelation. I mull over what he said and finally look him in the eye. “You’re right. I know I take life too seriously and I need to loosen up.”

Tyler opens his mouth but shuts it with a snap so he doesn’t interrupt me when I continue.

“Although I’m not happy at the way Vanessa and I broke up the first time, I’m glad we didn’t go through with the wedding. You’re right again. She was the logical step in my life plans but there was never any love between us.”

“She’s out there, Ian.”

“She is and I fucked it up.”

“Well unfuck it up,” Tyler says as if it is a simple fix.

“I can’t. I pushed her away when all she wanted to do was get close to me.” I fill my brother in on how I met Harbor and what happened after.

“Ian, if she loves you the way you love her, you can get her back.”

“It’s too late. I kept accusing her of cheating on me with her agent. She told me over and over that there wasn’t anything between the two of them, but I wouldn’t listen to her.”

“Okay, so you apologize and tell her you’re stupid. Grovel if you have to. Don’t worry, she’ll forgive you.”

I let hope scratch the surface before dismissing it. “It’s too late. Before I moved, Collette told me she’s living with her agent. I waited too long.”

Tyler smiles at me, his eyes twinkling. He looks like me, except he seems so happy that I’m almost jealous of his attitude toward life. “Come on, let’s go get dinner and you can tell me all about your actress. We’ll figure out a way for you to get her back.”

“I’ll go to dinner with you but I don’t want to talk about Harbor. I need to figure out my shit before I can even think about getting her back, or letting her go.”

Tyler gets up and puts our glasses in the dishwasher. He knows better than to leave them on the table or even in the kitchen sink. “Sounds like a plan. Come on little brother, I’ll let you buy me dinner.”

I let out a genuine chuckle as I follow him out of the house, feeling lighter than I have in months. As I climb into Tyler’s Jeep, I ponder what he said to me and I realize my jealousy of his life is stupid.

I can be the same carefree person Tyler is, all I have to do is let go of the control I feel I need in life. Sure, Harbor could have ended up cheating on me with Mitch, or someone else for that matter, but with that possibility there is the chance that she would have stayed faithful to me—and we could’ve had an amazing life together.

I watch Tyler out of the corner of my eye as he drives us into the city and decide at that moment I don’t want to be who I am anymore. I want to be less controlled, more spontaneous. I want to enjoy life, not worry about the outcome. And I’m going to start today. Whether I have the chance to get Harbor back or not, I need to start living the way I want to live.

“You doing okay, brother?” Tyler asks, catching me watching him.

“Better than I have in a long time.”

“Good. I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Things are going to start changing for the good.”

“Damn straight,” Tyler agrees, banging his hand on my shoulder.