Harbor

“How was the flight?” Collette asks over the phone as I collapse onto the hotel bed.

“It was fine.” I struggle to keep from jumping on the bed like a fool.

I landed a huge role as a supporting actress. The only catch was, it’s being filmed in California.

Near where Ian lives.

I struggled with the decision whether to take the part, but it was my first movie offer. Mitch was so confident that this was only the beginning and I couldn’t help but get excited at the prospect. So I accepted and I’m going to be on the big screen. I wiggle my hips around on the bed, a huge smile splitting my face.

“Spill it.”

“It was amazing. I’ve never been in first-class before. They treated me like I was someone special. Then, just like in the movies, there was a man holding a sign with my name on it. And the beaches are so beautiful here, I could get used to this.” I’m gushing but I can’t stop myself.

Collette laughs. “What do you mean treated you like you were someone special? You are special. Don’t talk about the beaches or the sun. I miss California and I’m a little envious that you get to play in my hometown. I’m stuck here in New York while my friend rubs elbows with the Hollywood elite.”

“You can come. The hotel room they set me up in is huge. Then I wouldn’t be alone out here.”

“Harbor, you don’t need me and as much as I would love to jump on a plane and dig my toes into the sand, I have way too much work here. You’ll be fine.”

“I know, I’m just…” I’m not really able to put into words how I’m feeling.

“Have you thought about what we talked about?”

My heart does a summersault in my chest and I press my hand to it to keep it from popping out.

“You should call him.”

When I told Collette that my big break was being filmed in California, she mentioned calling Ian and getting together with him while I was here.

“Are you there?”

I nod. “Yes, I’m here. And as for thinking about it, that is all I thought about on the plane ride here. I don’t know if I can call him, Collette. It’s been so long and so much has happened.”

“You should call him. He’s not the same man he was when he left you in New York. He’s changing for the good, Harbor, and you should give him another chance.”

“What if he’s back with her?” I ask, winding a strand of hair around my finger. She’d informed me that Ian and Vanessa broke up almost immediately after landing in California.

“Now you’re just being stupid. That was a silly fling. He was trying to get over you, and to make sure he didn’t have any real feelings for Vanessa.”

“And you’re sure he isn’t dating anyone?” I bite my lip, silently begging her to say that he’s single.

As much as Ian hurt me I can’t get him out of my mind or my heart. I expected the time away from him to dull my feelings but they are still just as strong as the day I walked out of his apartment.

“You know he’s single. Don’t get mad at me for pushing this, but I truly think you two belong together, or should at least give your relationship another try. I love you both and I can see that neither of you has gotten over the other. I don’t want to ruin your excitement at this amazing opportunity you have, but I also don’t want you to give up on Ian just yet.”

“He gave up on me.” I pout.

“He did and he was stupid for doing it. Believe me, I’ve told him that hundreds of times since he let you go, but he wasn’t ready. He needed to find himself and figure out what would make him happy before he could be happy with anyone else.”

“What if he isn’t ready yet?”

Collette sighs over the phone and I grip the headset hard against my ear. “I can’t tell you if he’s ready or not. I can tell you that he has made a lot of positive improvements since you two have been apart. Nothing is guaranteed in life, but if you think you have the slightest possibility of finding happiness with Ian you owe it to yourself to try.”

“I don’t know.”

“Promise me you’ll think about it.”

“I promise,” I tell her after a long pause.

“Good. Now I need to get some sleep. I have a big meeting tomorrow. Call me tomorrow when you’re done doing whatever big actresses do when they are filming a movie.”

“Night, Collette.”

When I press end, I stare at the phone as a mental battle goes on in my head. Should I call him? Or throw all my concentration into my first big role? This movie is my dream come true, and for some insane reason, I want to share it with Ian. He was there for me when I needed someone to run lines with for my auditions. He sat with me on the couch and watched hours of movies without complaint. Ian was there in the beginning and I want to share my dream coming into fruition.

I toy with the home button, then almost drop it when it lights up with Ian’s number. Sitting up, I look around the hotel room like someone is going to materialize to tell me what I should do. With a shaking finger I swipe to answer, putting it to my ear with slow, deliberate movements as my heart hammers in my chest.

“Hello.”

“Harbor.”

His voice washes over me and with that one word a tear slides down my cheek. Just hearing him makes my heart break and mend at the same time.

“Hi, Ian.” My voice sounds strained and I pop up from the bed then sit back down. It’s been months since I heard from him but within seconds the love I feel for him comes roaring back as if it was never pushed aside.

“I’ve missed you,” he pushes out in a rush.

“I’ve missed you too,” I admit, not seeing a reason to hold back.

“Collette called me and told me you were in town for a movie shoot.”

“Of course she did,” I mutter, upset that Ian didn’t call me on his own and Collette had to meddle.

“Don’t be mad at her. I’m glad she told me. I’ve been thinking about booking a flight to New York for the last couple of weeks.”

“But you hate New York.”

“But I miss you. Harbor, there is so much I want to tell you. Can we meet?”

My mouth flies open to tell him to come get me at the hotel right now, but I stop myself. Ian hurt me more than anyone I’ve ever known. Even my parents’ lack of support of my dream didn’t hurt as much as Ian not trusting me. Do I really want to allow him back into my life so he can hurt me again?

“Harbor, please let me see you,” he begs as I wipe my wet cheeks.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. The way we ended things was awful and to be honest, I’m still not over the pain you caused me.”

“I was a dick for letting you go the way I did. I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to see me, but I’m begging you to please let me see you before you go.”

My heart wrenches inside my chest and hope flows from it. I’ve dreamed of what would happen if I ever spoke to Ian again. As much as I try to push them away, my favorite daydreams are ones where he comes to terms with his lack of trust in me and we become a couple again. Of course, my little fantasies are helped along by Collette and her constant meddling.

“I have to be on set tomorrow to start filming. If you want, I can get you on set and we can go out to dinner when I’m done.” I rub my hand over my heart, hoping I’m not making a huge mistake by taking another chance on Ian.

“That sounds perfect. What time do I need to be there?”

I give Ian the specifics and we talk about where to eat after. Our conversation is light but I know if we are going to have any chance to reconcile, the heavy stuff needs to be discussed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Harbor.”

“See you on set, Ian.”

I stare at the phone for a long time after it goes dark, my thoughts banging off my skull, wondering what’s going to happen tomorrow. With a shaky breath I contact the assistant assigned for me during the filming and add Ian Strong’s name to my list of visitors for tomorrow. With that done, I take a shower to wash the day away, but my thoughts stay focused on Ian.