Harbor

“Namaste,” I bow to my yoga instructor, then roll up my mat and head out the door of the studio.

I almost didn’t come to yoga because I wanted to talk to Ian about last night. The way he acted before I left last night was unacceptable, just mean. I’ve given him no reason not to trust me. The whole night I kept grabbing my phone, wanting to text him and tell him that I love him and he needs to pull his head out of his butt.

Mitch finally took my phone away from me and pulled me aside for a lecture. He reminded me I was in a room full of people who had the means to make my dream come true and I needed to stop pouting and start networking.

I had a rant planned out and was ready to slash Ian with my tongue when his sleeping form clutching a half empty bottle of bourbon took my anger away. In all the time I’ve known Ian, I’ve never seen him lose control. Seeing him passed out and slurring his words when I woke him shook me. It seems Ian was just as miserable as I was being apart from him last night.

This push and pull between us is getting ridiculous. Ian needs to piss or get off the pot, as my mom used to say. I’ve seen the look in his eyes when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention. Ian has feelings for me. He may not be in love with me as I am with him, but I’m certain there is something strong there.

I tried to assure him I wasn’t going to do anything but network last night. If only I could get him to trust that I’m not going to hurt him, maybe he would open his heart to me. It seems like it’ll have to be me to piss or get off the pot.

Telling Ian I love him is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Pouring my heart out to a man who keeps his emotions in check at all times is terrifying. I’m not sure what he’ll do when I make my announcement, but something has to be done, and if his disheveled state last night is an indicator, I might get what I want. Hope swells in my chest. If not, I still have the money from my commercial and Mitch is sure I charmed my way into another commercial and maybe a movie last night at the wrap party. Having a plan to fall back on if this ends horribly with Ian helps me decide it’s time to make Ian confront his feelings or walk away.

My phone rings as I walk toward Ian’s place. My heart gallops thinking it’s Ian but slows again when Mitch’s name pops up on the screen.

“Hey, Mitch,” I answer the phone while I order a raw juice at a little stand next to the yoga studio.

“How was yoga?”

“It was fine. Are you getting sick? Your voice sounds nasally.”

Mitch chuckles over the phone and a sick feeling makes my stomach plummet when I hear it in stereo. I turn to see Mitch standing behind me. His eyes are lightly bruised and his nose puffy. I know I’m about to hear something that’ll make me want to vomit.

“Can you get me a shot of wheatgrass?” Mitch asks into the phone before ending the call.

My insides are trembling as I place the order. I hand Mitch his shot and we walk side by side toward Ian’s. “What happened?”

“I told you he was too possessive, Harbor.”

I blink as he explains, blinded by the tears that are too plentiful to hold back. Just minutes ago, I made the choice to tell Ian that I was in love with him, and now my agent shows up with a swollen face courtesy of the man.

“I don’t understand. Did you provoke him?” My voice sounds desperate and I don’t miss Mitch rolling his eyes before wincing in pain.

“Really, Harbor. You’re going to try and defend him? He came to my office and punched me in the face.”

“Why? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Harbor, you’re an intelligent girl. You have the potential to be a star. All he’s doing is holding you back.”

“Mitch, we’ve had this discussion before, and I’m well aware of your feelings about Ian. As I’m also aware of Ian’s feelings toward you. What I’m asking is, what happened that made Ian go to your office and hit you?”

“He called me this morning and wanted to talk. When he came into the office he was demanding to know what I was planning to do with you. He has some sick, possessive, jealous rage when it comes to you, Harbor.”

“He’s just looking out for me. I’ll talk to him and tell him to back off.”

“That’s not going to happen. You know, I could have him arrested for assault. Harbor, you’re making a huge mistake. I want to see you succeed. I’ve already gotten inquiries about you from some of the people you met last night, but I can’t keep representing you if you continue to stay with that man. He’s going to ruin you, and I refuse to watch such talent be wasted.”

“Are you giving me an ultimatum?” My voice is high-pitched as my world starts to crumble around me.

We stop in front of Ian’s building, Mitch standing in front of me. I keep my hands firmly planted on my hips so I don’t give in to the urge to shake him. How could he make me choose between my dream and Ian? I’m paying Mitch to represent me. Could he remove his services from me just like that? Have Ian locked up? From the gleam in his eyes, I have a feeling all of that is possible.

“Let me go talk to him. He has been hurt before and this is hard for him.”

Mitch’s eyes go wide with surprise. “He’s told you that?”

I twist my earlobe, wanting to lie but knowing it won’t do any good. “He hasn’t come out and said that, but I can tell something happened in his past that makes him guarded. I’m in love with him, Mitch. He’s hurt and I can’t just abandon him. Let me talk to him.”

Mitch rubs his jaw and looks to the sky as if it will give him the answers he needs. When he looks back at me, I give him my most award-winning smile and a sad grin lifts the corners of his mouth.

“Harbor, I don’t think he’s ever going to change.”

I open my mouth but he puts his hand up to stop me.

“But if anyone has the power to get through to his blackened heart, it would be you. I don’t want to end our business relationship, but if I have to, I will. Go talk to the jackass and if he finally opens up to you and promises not to come back to my office swinging, we’ll work something out.”

“And if he doesn’t open up to me?”

Mitch hauls me to his chest and hugs me tightly. I cling to him, needing the support he is offering. “You can stay in my guest bedroom until we can figure something out. You’re a smart girl. I hope you know when to give up on the impossible.”

I hug Mitch again before nodding and heading up to Ian’s penthouse. Mitch is right. I’ve given Ian more than enough time to get over his demons and realize that I want to be with him and nobody else. If I can’t convince him now, we never had a chance to begin with and I need to stop dwelling on something that will never be.

“Ian,” I call out when I walk into the foyer, wanting to get this over with. “Ian, I saw what you did to Mitch. We need to talk.”

Ian comes out of the kitchen, a beautiful woman following him. Her vivid green eyes run me up and down as she stands close to Ian as if she belongs there.

“Harbor, this is Vanessa.” After speaking, Ian’s mouth is opening and closing as if he wants to say more.

Vanessa and I wait but when he doesn’t seem to be able to form any more words Vanessa puts out her hand for me to shake.

“Hi, Harbor. I’m Ian’s fiancé.”

I jerk my hand out of hers, the word fiancé stabbing me in the chest. “You have a fiancé?” I turn my gaze to Ian.

“Harbor, let me explain.” Ian steps toward me but I back up, cold seeping into my body.

“You punch my agent, almost ruining my career, and then expect me to stand here while you explain that you have a fiancé? I know you think I’m naïve, but I’m done letting you take me for stupid.”

Ian’s face flushes red, and for a moment, all his attention is focused on me, Vanessa forgotten. “Stupid? Well I guess that makes both of us, huh?”

I pivot and head to my room—or my former room—to gather up what little things I have. Thankfully, I bought some clothes and toiletries with the check from my commercial. I gather up my measly possessions, refusing to take anything Ian has purchased for me. My stomach clenches at the pathetic amount of stuff I’m leaving behind, realizing I’ll never be able to pay back the debt I owe Ian.

Ian’s body blocks the doorway as he watches me gather my stuff.

“Don’t worry, I only took what’s mine.”

“Where do you think you’re going? Back to Mitch to fuck him again like you did last night?”

I’m grateful that Vanessa isn’t anywhere near us as I approach him until we stand nose to nose. “What the hell are you talking about? Is that why you punched him, because you thought we slept together?”

“I don’t think, I know. He told me about you two when I went to his office. So don’t act all high and mighty because my ex-fiancé showed up, when you’ve been letting that asshole shove his dick in you.”

“You’re impossible!” I scream at him, the fact that he called Vanessa his ex-fiancé not sinking in until the words were out.

She must have been the one who made him the sad, controlling, jealous man in front of me. It’s obvious he still has strong feelings for her, if he let her in his house when she hurt him so badly in the past.

“I didn’t sleep with Mitch. Goodbye, Ian.” I push past him with my solitary bag and call toward the model-pretty woman still standing in the living room, “It was nice meeting you, Vanessa. I hope you two have a great life together. You deserve each other.”

“Harbor, wait,” Ian calls out, but I’m already slamming out of the door and his life.

Mitch is right, Ian is never going to change for me. Maybe Vanessa would have better luck. My heart squeezes painfully and every step away from Ian’s penthouse hurts. As I make my way toward Mitch’s office, my anger builds until I want to scream and punch him myself for lying to Ian about us sleeping together.

Ian and I would never have made it. Mitch just moved along the inevitable, but I’m still pissed at him, To let him make it up to me, I’m going to take him up on his offer to use his guest room.