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Beneath the Lights by Leslie Johnson (8)

Eight

Ian

“So, how is Harbor doing?” Collette asks, coming into my office as I prepare to leave for the day, readying my desk for in the morning.

Just hearing her name makes my blood heat, makes me want to get home even faster to be close to her again.

“She’s doing well. She’s healing more every day and soon I think she’ll be good as new.”

“She’s a strong woman. I like her.” Collette holds my gaze, and being in business with her as long as I have, I can tell she wants me to say more.

“I like her too,” I admit.

“If you can keep your jealousy and control issues at the door, I think you two could have something special.”

I clench my teeth, but don’t react right away. Collette is the only person that I’ll allow to speak to me like this and sometimes I wonder why I put up with it. And this isn’t the first time Collette has mentioned that she thinks I have control issues. When I told her about Vanessa cheating on me, the first thing she asked was whether I was more upset that she cheated on me or that I wasn’t able to control the situation. I couldn’t answer and not sound like a control freak.

The thing is, after the Vanessa debacle I feel the need to be in control even more than I ever have before. To make sure no one will be able to hurt me like Vanessa did.

“I don’t want to have anything special with anyone. All I need is my business, and you.” I wink at her but she doesn’t seem to be in the mood for my charm.

“Ian, you need to stop covering up your feelings or you are going to push her away.” Collette leans over my desk and places her hand on my arm.

“Push her away so she can go have sex with another person?” I lean back in my desk chair, pulling my arm away.

“Holy shit, Ian. She’s not Vanessa. You’re being unreasonable and if you don’t fix it, you will push her away and who knows? Maybe she will have sex with another man. It’s not like you two are a couple, so it wouldn’t be as if she is cheating on you. She would just be doing what any normal woman would do, moving forward in her new, exciting New York City life.”

“Then I’ll let her go.”

I grind out images of Harbor and some shadowed figure pushing into my head, and it’s all Collette’s fault.

Collette tips her head, giving me a look that borders close to pity, and anger pulses deep inside of me. I don’t need pity because my emotions aren’t going to get the best of me. Never again.

“Ian, you need to be careful with your words. I’ve known you for a long time, so I’m used to you saying asshole things that you truly don’t mean. She hasn’t known you that long and she has been through a lot. You need to be honest with her and get rid of the past.”

“I’m fine, Collette. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I stand and walk her to the door.

She follows, but stops and opens her mouth like she wants to say more, but just shakes her head as if she decided against it. I wait until she walks out of my office before taking consecutive deep breaths, trying to extinguish the war going on inside me.

Another image of Harbor and a shadowed man goes through my mind and I hurry home to make sure Harbor is safe and dick free.

The smell of something decadent hits me as soon as I walk into my apartment, and this time, it isn’t the scent of Harbor’s apple body lotion she is always wearing—although that is delicious as well. My stomach growls at the aroma and I follow my nose to the dining room where there is a basket of warm bread, two place settings and two glasses of wine.

I could get used to this, I think, and shake off the thought. I do like having Harbor living here and I would love to bury myself inside of her over and over again, but I refuse to let her burr herself into me even deeper. I’m just lucky she seems as okay with this situation as I am.

“Something smells delicious,” I call out as I stroll into the kitchen, unable to put away the smile that seems to have taken over my face.

Harbor is wearing short pajama shorts and a tank top. Her blonde hair is pulled into a high ponytail and when she turns toward me with a smile I’m stunned. Harbor’s face is lit with happiness and I feel my smile going wider. Has a person’s chest ever exploded from happiness?

“I decided to make you dinner,” she tells me and I barely stop myself from grabbing her waist and hauling her to me so I can kiss her senseless.

“I can’t wait. What’s the special occasion?”

Harbor spins back around to check the salmon searing in a cast iron pan and I picture myself going up behind her and kissing her bare neck until she is moaning and pushing herself against my erection. She answers, but her voice is a distant murmur as I imagine planting my hands on her hips and

Harbor practically skips past me and into the dining room, taking with her the food she prepared. I grab what she couldn’t carry, asparagus tips in some kind of glaze, and remind myself she worked hard on dinner and doesn’t deserve to be lusted after by her roommate, the man who hit her with his car. So we sit and eat, like friends. Harbor can’t stop smiling and my heart lurches when I realize I could just go on having her here.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep tonight, I’m so excited,” Harbor confesses before taking a sip of wine.

“What are you excited about?” I ask, and I know I messed up when she cocks her head to the side and gives me a questioning look.

Whatever she is excited about is what she was telling me in the kitchen, when I was thinking about licking her from head to toe.

“I’m sorry. I know you just told me what you’re excited about, but if I’m being honest, I was so struck by how adorable you were in the kitchen that I didn’t hear a word you said.”

Harbor throws her head back and laughs, and again, it’s adorable. I smile and take a sip of wine, excited to hear what has made her so happy. I would do anything to keep the smile on her face and am thankful for whatever has done this to her.

“I got ahold of Mitch—” Harbor starts and I cut her off.

“Mitch, as in the Mitch who abandoned you the first day you got to a new city and you haven’t been able to get ahold of for weeks, Mitch?”

Harbor rolls her eyes but her smile doesn’t falter. “Yes, that Mitch. It seems he gave me the wrong apartment number that day, which was the reason nobody answered the door.”

I scoff, hating this man now even more than I had before. How could he do that to my Harbor? I inhale sharply when I realize that now I’m thinking of her as mine.

“Did you let him know what he caused and demand your money back?” I ask, assuming her smile has to do with the fact that she is now two thousand dollars richer, and she was able to reprimand the person who was directly responsible for the worst day of her life.

“I was going to but he apologized and explained that he had a family emergency.”

“What type of family emergency?” I ask, sharper than I meant to. I push my plate away from me, no longer hungry.

“It was something out of the country. I didn’t ask. That is none of my business,” Harbor replies, pushing her plate away as well.

“Of course it’s your business. Because of some bogus family emergency that conveniently happened you were almost killed.”

“I know, Ian. I was there, remember?”

“Do you?” I can’t believe we’re arguing or how out of control I feel right now.

Harbor seems to not have a problem forgiving the scumbag who abandoned her and took two thousand dollars from her. Living with her, I know she is somewhat naïve, but she seems to not have the common sense to see things the way they are. How she isn’t seeing this Mitch person for who he really is is confusing to me.

“I’m sorry, Harbor.” Panic sets in when I see tears shimmering in her eyes. I just want her to see the truth. “I don’t mean to upset you. I understand you’re ready to get out of the house and start living your dream.” My stomach churns with those words. I don’t want her to get hurt but I also don’t want her to leave.

“But?” she asks, her slim arms folding around herself.

“But, as a businessman I see people take advantage of others daily. Does it not strike you as odd that he finally answered your call and had some bullshit excuse at the ready? That instead of offering you a refund for your hard-earned money that he has yet to deliver anything for, he wants to meet you for coffee instead?”

Weariness wages a war over her face and I hope I got through to her. If she could just see reason, it would make it unnecessary to have this argument, and this fight would be over.

“Ian, I understand you have to be suspicious because of the business you are in and the wealth you have accumulated, but I have a funny feeling that someone hurt you pretty bad to make you so distrusting of people.”

My mouth springs open at her words. I’m shocked that she read me so easily and I can’t get out the scathing retort that leapt into my mind. She keeps speaking and I allow my mouth to close, letting her finish.

“I can’t be like that. Distrust of people is not how I was raised, and if you would have heard how sincere Mitch sounded over the phone maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to condemn him. Ian, I’ve always been a good judge of character and I trust Mitch. I need you to trust my decisions.”

She watches me, tears are no longer shimmering in her eyes, instead, they’re full of pure determination. A burning sensation lights in my stomach at the way she talks about this Mitch douche. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m jealous of him and a tad bit fearful he may be able to sweet-talk Harbor into leaving me. We have a good thing going, why would she want to ruin it? Collette’s voice runs through my head, reminding me that women want and deserve more than a noncommittal relationship, but I shake my head, unwilling to think about the deeper aspect of her advice.

“It’s not your judgment I don’t trust, it’s his. I just want you to be safe. I’ve been here and watched you heal and I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

Her smile ignites the room and a sudden sinking feeling takes over the burning jealousy. I may be getting in further than I’ve allow myself with any woman, and I have a suspicion I might not be able to stop it.

“Thank you, Ian.” Harbor gets up and starts stacking the dishes to take them into the kitchen.

“I’ll clean, you cooked.”

Harbor nods and I can’t help but brush a gentle kiss over her cheek. The sensation leaves my lips tingly and I clench the dishes in my hands so I don’t grab her, bend her over the table and plunge into her until the thought of Mitch or any other man is removed from her brain.

“Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?” I ask as I load up the dishwasher.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Really, it’s no problem,” I tell her truthfully. Not to mention, I would love to meet this Mitch in person. When Harbor told me about him, I made a mental note to have one of my associates research him, but when he never answered Harbor’s calls I let it slide. Now that he is back in the picture, as soon as Harbor goes to bed I’m going to make some calls.

“Ian, you’re too good to me. You’ve done so much and I appreciate it. You don’t have to go, I’ll be fine. It’s just coffee and it’s in a public place. I’m going to go to bed. I still haven’t gained all my strength back.”

Harbor gives me a reassuring smile before walking into her room. As much as she wanted to soothe me with her words, I have a gut feeling tomorrow is not just coffee.

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