I’m crazy, aren’t I? I look through old pictures of Lo and me, how happy we used to be, how young. It’s interesting to see how much she’s changed in all those years, and at the same time hasn’t changed at all.

Sure, we all age, but she never used to have that dark look in her eyes, and I’m not sure if it’s ever going away again, if she’ll ever be okay enough for that haunted look to go away. But I guess that I’m the same—also not who I used to be and also not able to put behind me all the things we went through.

But looking at the photos now... it doesn’t hurt as much. Yes, we lost a lot of time together, but I think that we can now start again. I hope. If she can ever forgive me.

My phone buzzes and I pick up. “Yeah?”

“Hey, man.” Chris sounds way too excited for my exhausted brain.

“Hey. What’s up?” I try to sound more alive than I really am.

“Someone called about your art from the gig. They want to see more of it. They’re wondering if they could buy it.”

We’ve discussed this before, he knows I’m not selling. “And you’re calling me instead of saying no why, exactly?”

“It’s a lot of money. And the buyer will be using it to decorate a children’s hospital wing.”

Oh. Wow. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. They said that the magical element of it was something they had been looking for, but they didn’t want a painting, they wanted something more realistic. They’re willing to pay a lot of money for you to sell your work, or even make some of your own for them.”

“You’re shitting me, right?” A gig this big... It would be... Wow. Not something I can imagine.

“Nope. I’ll email you their contact details. They were adamant it had to be your art.” I can hear the grin in Chris’ voice.

“Wow.” I try to imagine what could even get someone to put in such an order from a nobody like me.

“Hey, your movie project is finished in like... two to three weeks, right? You were talking about showing it here. Any plans on returning with it?”

“Ehm.” Two more weeks. Yeah, the project will be finished by then, but I don’t really have anything to go back to there.

“It’s that girl, isn’t it?” Chris has been on my ass about Lo since I told him about the photos.

“Maybe. It’s just that there may be more for me here than I expected.”

“Has she seen them yet? What did she say?”

“I think she has.” She’s probably awake by now, right?

“You think?”

“I sent her a link with the pictures and the video. I haven’t heard back from her yet.”

“Are you...” Chris sighs and I can imagine the frustrated face he’s making now. “What did you do now? Why did you think that was a good idea?”

“I saw Lo. I finally talked to her properly, and then I sent her a link. I think she’s seen them by now.” Probably, though I’m not sure if or what response I would expect from her if she did.

“You’re really good at doing things in strange ways, you know?” Chris sighs again. “It’s not that we never knew something was going on. You were lost sometimes, like, in your head. There were moments where you would seem like you had no idea what you were doing, where you were going. And the intensity that you did things with... Yeah. We knew something was up. But I never expected it to be some girl.”

“It’s more than that. She’s not just any girl. She was about to become my wife, mother of my child, before everything went to shit.”

“Wait. What? You serious?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. Yeah. No wonder. Still... It wasn’t like we had no idea that shit was going down for you. But you seemed to want to just forget you even existed before you came to college.” Chris is quiet for a while, and I have nothing to respond to him with. It’s not like he’s wrong. “Is this real? Is this really what you want?”

I can’t help smile a little as I look at the old pictures. “Yes. I’ll fight through anything to make this happen. To get her back.”

“Well, congrats then, I guess. But I suspect that it means you’ll be moving out of your place here.”

“Probably.”

“Any chance I get to see this girl who makes you come alive again?” Chris is always so curious, so pushy.

“Maybe. I can’t promise anything.”

“Okay. Well, just wanted to tell you about the email I’ll be sending you soon and just checking in if I could book another gig for you any time soon.”

“No lighting gigs for now, sorry. I’ll have to get back to you on that at some other point.” I lean back, stretching. “But thanks for letting me know. I’ll call or email you about plans for the screening.”

“Thanks. Talk to you soon!” And Chris hangs up.

I put my phone to the side, grinning.

Things are finally falling into place in ways that make sense to me.

Finishing this movie project, potentially a really big project coming up, and I’ve got the girl of my dreams.

A message pops up on my phone, a message from Lo. ‘I want to see you.’

I open the door. Lo is standing in front of it, looking so beautiful, her cheeks flushed and a small smile on her lips. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I step to the side, letting her in.

“Thank you for letting me come over.” She takes her jacket off, revealing a shirt that’s tight in all the right places and a skirt that flows, showing off her amazing curves.

“Yeah, no problem.” Her message had just been that one sentence, nothing more. So I quickly cleaned the house a little, trying to not make it look as much like a pigsty. But now she’s here. In front of me. And she looks amazing.

“I just...” She turns to me, her eyes averted, her hands wringing in front of her. “I saw the pictures you sent. I liked them.” Her eyes shoot up at me for a moment, and then they’re back to the floor.

“Thanks.” My heart fills, a restlessness finally settling now she’s seen them, that she likes what I did. I step closer, reaching out but not touching her yet. “I didn’t know if you would. I tried my best, but it’s always different when I make it from the way that you probably imagined it yourself.”

She shakes her head. “I...” She sighs. “That’s not why I came over. Sorry.”

“What is it?” That doesn’t sound so good. I put my hand on her arm, guiding her to the couch. “What is it that you did want to talk about?”

“You told me... This afternoon... The things you told me...” Her voice disappears, wavering.

Fuck. That. Of course. “I’m so sorry. I did stupid things. I shouldn’t have done them. Taking the money... That was so childish...”

She shakes her head. “Not the money. I don’t care about the money.” She takes my hand. “When you said that you’d tried to kill yourself.”

“I...” I don’t know what to say. “I’m sorry. I know that it’s not forgivable. Especially not guilting you into things... I never meant it like that. I don’t think like that. I—”

She puts her fingers against my lips, making me look at her, at her sad eyes. “Do you still feel like that? Do you still want to kill yourself, even if this, us, doesn’t work out?”

If it doesn’t work out? Just thinking about that possibility hurts, it hurts immediate and so deep. But that doesn’t change anything. That doesn’t change the answer to her question. “No. That was... once. Never again after that.”

She nods, like it confirms something for her. “We were in pain. We were going through hell. Things that you do in those situations aren’t things that you would normally do.” She runs her hand over the inside of my arm, covering the scar. “There is nothing to forgive.”

“But... I was stupid, childish. I shouldn’t have behaved like that.” Why is this so hard? I’ve wanted her to forgive me for what I did for such a long time. “I was selfish.”

She puts her fingers under my chin, as I’ve done to her before. The certainty in her eyes takes my breath away. “There is nothing selfish about trying to protect yourself. We can’t all control what our brains do at any moment. There will be hard times, there will be easy times. But there is nothing wrong with trying to protect yourself.”

When did she become so smart? When did she become so strong? Something changes, my head going light. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” I lean in, and she lets me kiss her, just a few soft kisses, nothing much, but it’s just right. Having her here, it’s right.

When she looks at me again, she’s smiling again. “There really is nothing to forgive.” She pauses for a moment. “Though...” One of her eyebrows goes up.

“What?”

“Maybe leaving me undressed in the supplies closet on the college campus during a party...”

Ah. Yeah. I did do that, didn’t I? “Sorry. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?” I try to look as sorry as possible. Though the memory of her body against mine, the way she was half-naked as I fucked her, the parts of her that were covered almost more sexy than the ones I could see... It’s hard to keep a straight face with lust rushing through you.

“Hmmm. I’ll have to think about that...” Her eyes start sparkling. “I think there may be a way...”

“What way? Please tell me...” We’re playing now, my heartbeat going into overdrive and my dick hardening.

Her eyes flash with lust, and something must have clicked in her head, because she points to the floor in front of her. “There.”

I slide onto the floor, sitting in front of her, my hand on her knee, and I’m pretty sure I know what’s going to happen next.

She slides her legs apart a little, but because of the length of the skirt, I can’t see anything yet.

Boldly, I slide my hand up higher, disappearing under the skirt, sliding up, but not far enough to touch her yet.

“And now?” I look up, and her eyes have gone hazy already.

“Now, ehh...” She swallows hard, suddenly not so sure anymore.

“You want me to do this?” I slide my hand up more, still making sure that I’m not actually touching her sensitive places.

“Maybe.” Her voice is low, filled with lust.

Fuck. She’s so beautiful. Makes me even harder when she looks like this.

I slide my other hand under her skirt too, sliding both my hands up to her hips, hooking my fingers under the lace, carefully tugging as I keep looking up. “Lo?”

“Yes. Please, yes.”

I don’t need her to say that again. I tug at her thong, and with a little help from Lo, I slide it down her legs. Then I slide my hands up her thighs again, this time running my thumb over her hot space.

She lets out a little gasp, and it takes all of me not to lift her up and drag her to the bedroom right now. Because fuck, this is just too good. She looks too damn good!

I put my hands on her hips and pull her forward, giving me better access for what I’m about to do next. Her skirt slides up, almost revealing her hot pussy for me. She puts her hands on my shoulders, holding on, her arms trembling a little.

Then I dive forward, my head under her skirt as I run my tongue over her whole pussy.

The moan that escapes her was exactly what I was hoping for. I run my tongue over her clit, her breathing speeding up, her hands on my shoulders tightening. She smells so good. I want so much more from her, so, so much more.

Then I slip the tip of my tongue into her pussy, her wet pussy, ready for me to fill her.

Fuck. Too good.

“B,” Lo moans.

I don’t answer, slipping my tongue into her further, sliding out and fucking her with my tongue.

“B... Please... Fuck...”

Her body tenses around me, I feel it in her muscles. She’s so close already.

I move my hand and slip a finger into her pussy as I focus my tongue back on her clit, moving it over her quickly. I want her to see stars, I want her to come so hard that nothing will ever compare again.

I want this to be the best, because I’ll never take her for granted again, and I will make her feel as loved as I can.

“Going to—going to come.” Lo tenses more, her breathing irregular, her hips slightly rocking with my movements. Then she lets out a low moan and her pussy clamps down on my finger, her whole body tensing and relaxing, her pussy milking my finger like it’s supposed to be my cock.

I sit back, looking up at her, licking my lips. She tastes so good. And I’m going to keep making her come over and over the whole night. As long as I can.

She’s flushed, her eyes dark. “Fuck. That was...” She grins. “Best ever.” Then she sits up, coming closer, reaching out and putting her hand behind my head before she pulls me close and crashes our mouths together.

The kiss is ravishing, rough, all sex, nothing sensual. It’s lips and tongue and teeth.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer against me, wanting to feel her whole body, needing to feel her whole body because my jeans have gotten uncomfortably tight.