Chapter 39
Riley could not believe he’d simply ordered her out of his room and out if his life. She knew he was right, but still, the part of her heart that loved him so much did not want to leave him, especially now, when he was lying in a hospital bed, his body hurt and his feelings sore from the stupid offer of money her father had made.
“Speak of the devil,” she uttered. She stomped over to Richard Teeters as soon as she saw him standing near the hospital entrance. Too mad to care whether or not any of his adoring public or the media hounds were watching, she stuck a finger right in his chest and loudly shouted, “How dare you?”
He stepped back. “Riley?” he said, as if he was delighted to see her.
“No, Dad, I didn’t leave him, in case you’re wondering. He left me. He told me to get out of his life! I hope you’re happy now!”
“I’m not. I never want to see you hurting, dear, but this pain will go away in time. Think of it as the sting of a vaccine. The medicine may be bitter, luv, but you’ll feel much better soon.”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Dad, with all those stupid analogies your speech writers try to drum up. I’m your daughter, and you figured if Gray took a payout and left, it would hurt me less? How could you think that? Are you really that stupid? What is wrong with you?”
“Riley, please,” he whispered, darting his eyes around the parking lot. “There may be cameras—”
“Fuck you and your people-pleasing, your campaigning! Fuck your career, Dad! I told you before that I’m gonna live my life my way, and—”
“And look what that got you,” he interrupted, his anger raising his voice an octave. “You were a waitress in that sweaty little hole, for shit’s sake! He dragged you down to a level beyond low!”
“You think waitresses are low? Gee, Dad, what would your voters think?” she said, her voice shaking as ire consumed her soul. For the first time, when she looked at her father, she saw nothing, not one ounce of anything she could grasp. How did I come from a man like him, a man I don’t even know at all? she wondered. He doesn’t even understand real life! How the hell did he ever get where he is?
“No, there is nothing wrong with waitresses. I just do not think you should lower yourself to…that, given your situation.”
Her voice dropped. “You mean my money, right? Tell me, Daddy, were you ashamed to know I was living off tips? That your darling daughter was getting all sweaty and walking around with food spilled on her apron, clearing tables and serving tourists who could barely speak English? You obviously had me followed. What did you think when your investigators told you I was actually working for a living?”
Richard sighed. “I only want what is best for you.”
“You have no idea what’s best for me,” she retorted. “Hell, you don’t even know me!”
“I know what is not good for you, and one of those things is lying in a bed up there, probably wishing he took my check.” His eyes took on a sly look. “Or did he?”
“That check was flushed down the toilet like the trash it was, like the trash who wrote it ought to be!” she spat, but even as she tossed the insults at her father, new doubts surfaced: Wait. Did Gray want to take the money? It’d be easy enough for him to deny it now, after I got rid of it. Damn it. How can I be sure of anything anymore?
“Riley, I think it’s best we go home,” Richard said.
“Home?” she asked, her lips shaking with confusion, worry, and anger. She wasn’t even sure where home was, and she had no idea if she’d ever really know.
Just like that, all her defenses crumbled away. All her hope and love went to dust. Just like that, it was all over. Gone was the rebel. For good, this time, she decided. She knew she’d rebelled too much, and all she had to show for it was a broken heart. Besides, what good would it do for me to rebel, when the one I love doesn’t want me anymore?
“Okay,” she finally said, wiping her streaming eyes. “I don’t wanna go back to the cabin though, Dad.”
He couldn’t hide his victorious grin as he answered, “No, I don’t blame you. I’ll have the driver take us to the airport, and we’ll head to the apartment.”
She wanted to be excited about that, about starting over in New York and putting all the heartache and bitterness behind her, but it seemed so far away. Gray was up there in that hospital, and even if she had been thrown out of his room, she couldn’t bear to leave him alone in Lake Tahoe, a place he didn’t even ask to visit. “Can you arrange for his things to be delivered and a plane ticket for him to, uh…” She trailed off, not even sure where he wanted to go. She didn’t want to leave him, but he’d sent her away, and he’d made it clear that they were over. She had to harden her heart like he had hardened his, but she wasn’t sure if she could do that.
“I will make sure he gets safely…somewhere,” Richard said, taking her arm. As they set off across the lot, toward the idling limo, he assured her, “I am sorry that went the way it did, but it will get easier, dear.”
Riley climbed into the back, and her head fell back on the seat. “I know you aren’t the least bit sorry, Dad, so please don’t say you are,” she said, staring out the window and not even bothering to look at him. “I know better, so let’s not lie to each other, okay? I’m only leaving because Gray told me to, not because you did. All things considered, you don’t have my vote…on this or in the next election.”
Richard sighed. “That aside, what’s done is done, and now you can get back to normal.”
Get back to normal? She snorted, unable to even speak the words.
The limo cruised away from the lot, and Riley held on to the seat in a death grip, as if she was riding a rollercoaster. She knew it was a mistake to leave, because they belonged together. She knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, and deep down, she knew Gray knew it too. Maybe it’s best though, she thought. After all, there’s been so much wrong between us lately. I was bound to get hurt either way, right? Of course, she knew that all along, right from the start. The pain she was feeling was expected, a deep, miserable agony that she almost could not breathe around. She knew she had to, though, or die from it. The pain was not just in her heart either. There was a lead weight in her gut, with jagged little edges that threatened to cut her to shreds with every breath she did manage.
The sky was blue in an almost mocking way; it should have been gray and full of rainclouds. Her Gray, the love of her life, had given her a final goodbye, and she knew he meant it, and it seemed cruel that Mother Nature didn’t even commiserate with her.
He had always come after her before, no matter what, even up there on that trail. Now, though, she was the reason for his pain, and it wasn’t just because of that fall. She never intended to harm him, but with every mile the limo drove, she knew she was hurting him more. How can I do this, just leave without one more word between us, after all we’ve been through together, all we’ve shared? She was leaving, though, even if it did not seem possible. Gray himself had left her no choice.
As their journey continued, Riley stared at the plane on the tarmac. It was still not too late to try to make things right. I could and should go back to the hospital right now and tell him I’m not about to leave without a fight. I know I can make him see how deep my love is, she told herself, but she really wasn’t that sure. Too much resentment and little, petty things had come between them, and those had boiled out of them both in a frothy spew of hateful words on that cold mountaintop. Those words were so harsh and terrible that she feared there was no way to take them back or put the love back into what was broken. But is there a way? she asked herself as the mechanics scurried to check out the plane. No, not at all.
She climbed the steps wearily. She had not said one word to her father since they first climbed into the limo, and she had no intention of conversing with him. The plane took off, and the mountains receded below her. Riley just sat there, stunned, dazed, and too heartbroken to even cry.
Gone. It’s all just…gone. Gray, her future, and all the things she had wanted with him had faded away, just like that landscape below. Gone, for good, she thought as the last recognizable mountain peak became invisible below.