Chapter Five

 

 

DONNY GOT up Sunday morning at his usual time, showered, and dressed before going to check on Kimberley.

The baby’s bed was empty. Empty. Shit. There was no way she could have climbed out. She was still too little.

He took the stairs two at a time, but all was quiet. Kitchen, quiet. Living room, quiet. Den, quiet. Shit. He high-tailed it back upstairs and checked Robin’s room. The bed in there was empty too.

Fuck.

A quick check of the bathroom confirmed that the kids were definitely MIA.

He went to Jeff’s door and knocked, not waiting for an answer before opening the door, his heart going about five thousand beats a minute.

The kids were in their daddy’s arms, Robin sprawled out on one side, Kimberley cradled on the broad chest, one hand on her diapered butt.

Oh damn. The cuteness. He wished he had a camera, because he’d bet Jeff would love to have a shot of this. He watched for a moment longer, enjoying the cute and the handsome, and then backed slowly out.

He could make some bacon and coffee and watch bad Sunday morning TV.

He’d nearly finished with the coffee when he heard squealing coming from the upstairs, then a low roar and Kimberley laughing. Now those were good noises. Jeff might be struggling a little, but he had good instincts—father instincts. Those kids were going to be okay because their father loved them and wanted to do the right thing.

“Daddy Jeff!” Robin’s voice rang out. “Daddy!”

“Going to get you, Robbie! Gonna nibble your toes.”

Robin’s happy scream filled the air.

“Come on, Kimmie. Let’s get your brother.”

Donny laughed and got the bacon going, putting on enough for Jeff and Robin to have some too, seeing as they were all up now.

The three of them came tumbling in, Jeff’s arms full on the way down the stairs. “Good morning!”

Donny chuckled, nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“I’ll cook breakfast, if you want. I have a request for icky drippy eggs.”

“Daddy Jeff. No!”

Jeff’s eyes were twinkling. It was amazing what a few nights of sleep could do for a man.

Donny bit his lips to keep from laughing. “Icky drippy eggs, eh?” He was actually looking forward to getting food cooked by a real chef.

“Yep.” Jeff winked. “Although I guess if Robin washed his hands and face, I could make his scrambled.”

“That sounds like a very good deal.” Donny grinned down at the little boy. “What do you think, Robin?”

“Yay!” Robin’s bare feet padded into the downstairs bath, and Jeff put Kimberley into her swing.

“Do you eat eggs?” Jeff asked.

“I do, thanks.” Donny went to the cupboard and started pulling out plates.

“Excellent.” Jeff turned on some music and grabbed the eggs out of the fridge and a loaf of bread from the bread box.

Donny set the table, familiar enough with the kitchen now that he didn’t get into Jeff’s way.

Robin came back just as Donny finished and dragged his new stool over to the counter by Jeff, climbed up on it. “Me help!”

Donny held his breath. Robin was used to helping him in the kitchen—he’d let the boy do something, even if it was just tiny, right from the start—but Donny’d seen the professional chefs on the television….

“Sure. You want to butter some bread?”

Donny blew out his breath in relief. Good job, Jeff. The man really did have good instincts; he’d simply needed a bit of sleep for them to kick in.

Jeff handed Robin a dull knife and a piece of bread and some soft butter. “Make sure you smooth it out for me.”

Jeff worked quickly, making eggs, taking the bacon out. He created a little fruit salad along with slabs of toast. It was pretty neat, watching a chef in his element; everything seemed like second nature, and the food looked and smelled great too.

“Okay, Robbie. Table. Does your sister need a bottle before we eat?”

“Nope, she’ll let you know when she does, though.” Donny grabbed the milk out of the fridge and took a seat.

Jeff served easily, eggs over toast with this super little sauce, bacon crumbled over the top, fruit salad on the side.

“Damn. This looks amazing.” Donny could get used to this.

“Thanks.” Robin got eggs, toast, fruit, and milk.

As soon as Jeff’s butt hit the chair, Kimberley started crying, and he chuckled and snagged her. “Is it time to eat, Beanhead?”

“Babies always seem to know when you’re starting to eat or relaxing.” Donny’d noticed that Kimberley seemed especially good at timing diaper changes.

“I remember Bethy saying that.” Jeff bounced her gently. “Should I feed her, you think?”

“Check her butt first.”

“I changed her before we came down.” Jeff peeked gingerly. “Woo! We’re safe! Bottle it is.”

Donny laughed and dug into his food. It was nice not having to take charge of the kids. Not that he didn’t love doing it, but it was nice to have a break while they were still up. Jeff was whistling, bouncing Kimberley, laughing. It was like seeing a whole new man. A very handsome new man.

Donny went back to his eggs. He couldn’t think those sorts of thoughts about Jeff. It wasn’t cool. The man was his boss. And a damn good cook.

“So good,” he muttered around another mouthful.

“Thanks.” Jeff fed Kimberley, burped her, put her in the swing.

Donny grabbed his toast and used it to wipe up the last of the sauce on his plate.

Jeff ate his, nodded, smiled. “I need to go to the market for supper.”

“If you want to take the kids, I’d be happy to help out.” He would be at loose ends otherwise. Not that there was anything wrong with getting to lounge about and watch movies or something, but he genuinely liked the kids and figured not only could Jeff use the help, but it would be good for Robin to have both adults in his life around at the same time.

“I know you had shopping for me too. We could make a day of it.”

“That works for me.” It would be nice to spend some time with Jeff in this better mood.

“Good deal.” Jeff smiled at Robin. “Would you like to go on an outing?”

“Can we see Mommy?”

Jeff sighed. “No, Robbie. Mommy’s in Heaven.”

“We’re going to go and get you some new clothes and a proper stroller for Kimmie and maybe even some new toys. And I bet Daddy Jeff would love your help with choosing what to buy for supper.”

“Bananas!”

Jeff chuckled. “He’s obsessed.”

Given it was about the only fruit Robin seemed to ever ask for, Donny figured there wasn’t anything wrong with that. “Hey, at least he can say ‘bananas.’ That’s not an easy word to master.” He’d spent the week gently correcting Robin, and the boy had been so proud the first time he’d said it right. “And what’s not to be obsessed about? I bet you’ve got a wicked banana bread recipe you could do up.” Or did chefs not do dessert?

“Actually, yes. I do.” Jeff grinned, started doing dishes.

“Cool. You should teach Robin to make it. Wouldn’t that be fun?” he asked, turning his attention to the little boy, who was running for his stool and pushing it next to Jeff.

“Me help!” Robin stepped onto the stool, putting him high enough to reach the counter.

“I’m doing dishes, Robbie.”

Robbie nodded. “Me help.”

Jeff looked panicked. “I…. Baby, the water’s hot….”

“Let him hand you the dishes, and once they’re washed, you can dry, and he can put them away,” Donny suggested. Robin never needed a big job; he just needed to feel like he was contributing.

“Oh. Okay. Hand me a plate.”

Robin picked up one of the plates and handed it over, looking as proud as could be. “Me help Daddy Jeff.”

“You do. You’re a good boy, Robbie.”

“He is.” Donny brought a last fork over from the table. “He just wants to help, and there are very few things you do where you can’t find something for him to contribute.”

“Contribute. What a yucky word, huh?” Jeff winked at Robin.

Donny laughed and went over to make faces at Kimberley, working on getting some laughs out of her.

It didn’t take Jeff long to get the dishes done; then he stretched. “Okay. Clothes. Robin, pants and underwear, a sweater. It’s chilly outside.”

“We’ll have to wrap a couple blankets around Kimberley unless you’ve got clothes other than the onesies hidden somewhere I haven’t found them yet.” Clothes for both kids were on his list, but Kimberley especially needed a bigger variety of outfits.

“I just got what I could remember Beth putting her in.”

“I didn’t mean it as a dig.” He knew how much stuff kids needed and how out of his depth Jeff had been. Still was, really.

“I know. I…. It’s crazy. The world is crazy.”

He went over and gave Jeff’s shoulder a pat, though what he wanted to do was hug the guy. “I know, man. I’m really sorry.”

He’d been so focused on making sure Robin got to a good place, he’d almost forgotten that Jeff had lost a very good friend, as well as having full-time fatherhood thrust on him.

“Yeah. I mean, I saw them once or twice a month, but….” Jeff shrugged. “I need to get them dressed.”

“You do. And I should grab non-slobby clothes to put on. Meet you back down here in half an hour?”

Jeff nodded. “That works.” He scooped Kimberley out of her swing and headed up the stairs.

Donny ambled up to his own room more slowly. He was not watching Jeff’s ass. Not. Even if it was a gorgeous one.

 

 

THEY STUMBLED into the house with ten thousand bags and more being delivered. Jeff was exhausted, and the kids were in hysterics, and it was Donny’s fucking day off so he couldn’t even ask for help, but Jesus. If Robin screamed one more time, he was going to lose his shit.

“You want Robin or Kimberley?” asked Donny, dumping his bags on the kitchen table.

He looked over. Oh thank God. “Kimmie?” Her issue might be solved with getting mostly naked, having a blanket and a bottle.

“Works for me.” Donny gave him a smile, patted Kimberley on the cheek, and then went to Robin. “How about a glass of milk and then a bath, Robin?”

Jeff grabbed a bottle and headed for his bedroom, Kimberley screaming the entire way. “Hush, you. Let’s have a snuggle.”

Her extra layers came off, her onesie deal, and he changed her, her wails intensifying. He pulled off his sweater, toed off his shoes, and lifted her off his bed. Once seated in the big chair, he popped a bottle in her mouth.

She settled almost immediately, suckling like she was starving, her little eyelids beginning to droop within seconds.

He could hear Donny with Robin now, Donny’s voice staying soft and calm even as Robin fussed. Jeff’s eyelids drooped too, exhaustion heavy on his shoulders. The sound of water running made a backdrop to Kimberley’s breathing, the gentle creak of the chair rocking underneath him.

Robin wasn’t crying or fussing anymore, though the usual bath-time joy was conspicuously absent. It didn’t matter. It was quiet.

He must have dozed off again, because the next thing he knew, Robin was at his chair, wanting a good-night kiss.

“Hey.” He leaned over, kissed his boy, hugged him one-armed. “You want a story?”

Robin nodded.

“I can read it to him if you want. Or I can put Kimberley down while you do the honors.” Donny gave him a tired smile.

“I can. You look like you need a pre-supper nap.” He’d found some lovely meat at the butchers.

“I might just indulge in that. Is it still called supper if it’s after eight?” Donny took Kimberley from his arms, hands warm where they slid against him.

“You know it.” He nodded and took Robin’s hand. “Goodnight Moon?”

“Yes, yes, Daddy Jeff!” Robin climbed onto his lap, and Donny slipped from the room with Kimberley.

He held Robin close, grinned. “How am I supposed to read to you with you in my lap and the book in your room?”

Robin’s little eyebrows moved together as Robin really thought about it, then his face brightened. “Carry me.”

“Oh, is that it?” He chuckled, hefted himself and Robin up, and headed toward what had been Mitch’s office.

Robin laughed, winding his little arms around Jeff’s neck.

He held on, wishing, not for the first time, that either one of the kids had taken after their mom—blonde with eyes the most interesting color, part whiskey, part sherry.

Donny passed him in the hallway, heading downstairs. “G’night, Robin.”

“Nigh-night!” Robin waved and grinned. “That’s Donny.”

“Yes, son. I know.”

They found the book, got Robin settled.

“Are you gonna go now?” Robin asked before he could start the book.

“Go where, son?”

“Away. Where Mommy went.” Big, serious eyes looked up at him.

“No.” He didn’t care that he should probably say something about how he didn’t know for sure, but he was going to be around a long time. He’d fight God himself to make certain these kids had a parent. “No, Robin. I am not. I’m staying right here with you and your sister.”

Robin wrapped those little arms around his waist and buried his face in Jeff’s abdomen.

“I have you. I promise. I’m here.” He rocked gently, tears slipping down his cheeks. Poor babies.

“Donny staying too?”

“I hope so, very much.” Donny was a good man, solid, and knew kids.

“’Kay.” Robin held on tight for a few more minutes and then curled up into him. “Book now?”

“Yes, Robbie. Book now.” He rested one arm around his son, held the book in the other, and started to read.

After he’d finished reading and tucked a sleeping Robin in for the night, he went downstairs.

Donny was in the kitchen, going through all the bags, sorting them. It looked like the groceries were already put away.

“Hey, thanks.” He didn’t know how he’d do without Donny, even after a few days.

“No problem. Everything that needed to be fridged, is. The rest of this stuff I’m just organizing. It’s not like we can put the kids’ clothes away while they’re sleeping anyway.”

“Yeah. Kimberley’s going to need a whole extra room.”

Donny laughed; he looked good happy. “I believe the time that comes into play is when she turns into a teenager. My mom said my sisters each needed a whole wing to themselves, but especially their own bathrooms.”

“Hopefully by then things will be different.” One day he’d have his own restaurant.

“By then you’ll be old hat at being Daddy Jeff, and you definitely won’t need me anymore.” Donny had a lovely smile.

“Are you only interested in little kids?” He hadn’t thought of that, if nannies had… specialties.

“Not at all. I was really hoping to find a family where I could get in on the ground floor and see the kids through to the end, if you know what I mean, but I suspect once kids hit the mid- to late-teen years, they’re not so eager to be nannied.”

“No, but that’s when they need adults the most. God knows I did.”

“Not that they know it.” Donny laughed, still sorting all the crap they’d bought into piles.

Jeff shook himself, started helping, then began working on supper. He put the beef into a simple marinade, created a salad dressing.

“You should have included the perk of incredible food in the ad for your nanny.” Then Donny shook his head. “No, wait. You shouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have gotten it if you had.”

Jeff chuckled. “I love to cook. I mean, honestly. It’s all I ever wanted to do.” Ever since he was a young boy, he’d known.

“That’s cool. Kind of how I felt about kids. And I’ll never be a daddy myself, you know?”

“You don’t think you’ll adopt?” He started putting spices away, organizing them quickly.

“A single gay man?” Donny shook his head. “The odds are pretty long against me.”

“You’re young. You won’t be single forever.” The thought made him chuckle. Donny was cute.

“Hopefully not.”

“You won’t be.” He would; no one wanted a man with two kids.

Donny ducked his head, cheeks actually darkening a bit.

“So, tell me stuff about yourself so we can make small talk over supper.” He winked, doing his best to chill Donny out.

“Stuff about me?” Donny gave a little laugh. “I love baseball and figure skating—I know, go figure, but I do.”

“Do you play baseball?”

“I know how, yeah. I used to play pickup with whoever showed up at the park back in college.” Donny folded all the plastic bags and put them in the recycle bin.

“Cool. Do you miss university?”

“Not now that I’m working. I did while I was looking for work, you know? I love working with kids.”

He nodded, then grabbed some cheese from the refrigerator. Parmesan crisps would be a good starter, maybe with some apple.

“You interested in getting Robin into any sports? He’s coming up on that age. There’s swimming courses at the Y and stuff.”

Jeff pondered that. “Beth hated sports, but I want him to swim and… it’s going to be hard, having a gay dad. He needs places to fit in.”

“The Y’s got some great programs, and it would be good for him to know how, given the pool out back. I like swimming, so I can go in with him. I’ll try and find a time when you’re home so you can look after Kimberley. Out-Reach has some great programs too.”

Jeff nodded, brain working over his schedule. How was he going to do this?

“I’ll get the schedules from the Y and Out-Reach and see what fits in with us.” Donny began to set the table.

“How do you like your steaks?” The parm went in the oven along with two oil-rubbed sweet potatoes.

“Medium rare, please. Man, this is the sweet side of living with a chef.”

Jeff chuckled, nodded. “Good man. So, do you come from a big family?”

He pulled out the steaks to warm up, the spinach, mushroom, onions.

“Yeah. Four older sisters, four younger ones.”

“Jesus Christ.” He actually stopped, stared. “Honestly?”

Donny laughed and nodded. “Yeah. Can you believe it? I was the only kid with dark hair too. The milkman jokes were legendary.”

“Jillian and I are the only two.” They had been together in foster care for most of their lives. They’d gone through three foster homes before Angela and Jim had taken them in, kept them. Loved them both.

“Yeah? I had my days where I wanted to be an only child, but it wouldn’t have been the same with just two. Are you two very close?”

“Yes, very. She’s my best friend now.” He smiled, started chopping mushrooms. He had a lot of good friends, actually, and he’d be well served to remember that.

“That’s great. I met her my first day.” Donny gave him a rueful grin. “She seemed a little overwhelmed by the kids.”

“She isn’t maternal. Not compared to Beth.”

“You wanted kids too, though, huh?”

He stopped chopping, looked at Donny. “I love the kids, but I was supposed to be their godfather. Beth wanted children. I saw them twice a month for an hour, brought presents, had a glass of wine with Beth.”

“Yeah? So what made you decide to keep them when she passed?” Donny frowned suddenly. “If that’s none of my business….”

“I didn’t decide. It’s what she asked for. It’s in her will, and it was her last wish. I was with her at the end.” Holding her hand. Her poor blistered hand. Fuck. Nobody should die like that. Especially not Beth.

Donny shivered. “I’m really sorry, Jeff.”

“I am too.” He got back to work. “I don’t regret taking them. I love them. I just…. My life is very different than it was a month ago.” Mitch had left almost immediately, and then there were the kids themselves and the lack of sleep….

“I bet. And this is a long-term change.”

“Yes. And I think I might still be in shock sometimes.” There were times where none of it seemed real, like it was a bad dream and all he needed to do was wake up.

“It’s going to be okay. You’re doing great with the kids, and it will get easier. Most people have time to prepare. You didn’t. Plus you’ve got two at once, different ages. Hell, I’m not telling you anything you don’t know.” Donny had warm eyes, kind. Sexy.

“I know. Do you like onions?”

“I do. I’m not really picky. Comes from having to eat the ‘cooking lessons’ of eight girls.”

Jeff grabbed a red onion, started heating the pan for the steaks.

There was a cry from the baby monitor. Donny got up and put a hand on his arm. “Just wait a minute, she might settle back down. It’s good for her.”

“You sure? Do you think she misses Beth?”

“No. She’s never going to remember her. Hell, Robin will only remember what you tell and show of her. You’re going to love them, and they’re going to be okay. Kids are resilient. Way more than people think.”

Kimmie stopped fussing almost immediately, her cries turning into little coos.

“See?” Donny smiled. This close Jeff could smell him.

Stop it. Donny was off limits. Off.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. Hand me the butter?”

Donny reached for it, T-shirt rising up and exposing a strip of flesh. Jeff looked away, telling himself to chill the fuck out. Donny handed over the butter, almost dropping it as their fingers brushed together.

“Oh, sorry.”

“No problem.” Oh man. Stop it.

Donny looked at him, blinking a little, and then he took a couple of steps back and gave him a smile. “So… what do you like doing in your downtime?”

“I don’t know anymore.” The words were the absolute truth.

Donny didn’t seem surprised by his answer. “Well, I’d suggest, until Kimberley is sleeping through the night, that you find stuff like watching movies and reading books—stuff that a sleep-deprived dad can enjoy. I happen to love movies on the couch with popcorn myself.”

“With my schedule, it’ll be watching late-night Kung Fu theater, but yeah. Mitch was a go-baby. He’d pick me up at the restaurant, and we’d stay out ’til dawn. Life is different now.” Not worse, but different.

“I heard what happened with him. And I’m sorry, but that kind of thing is better to know from the start, before you get used to the help, you know?” Donny’s eyes were sympathetic. And pretty.

“Yeah. If I meant that little….” He shrugged. What else was there to say?

“Oh, I don’t believe that. You’re a great catch—good-looking, a chef, comfortably well-off. And obviously he loved doing stuff with you.”

“He loved his life. He still does, from what I can see. He just isn’t interested in children or in men who raise them. He wants to play.” Bitter? Him? No….

“Sounds like he’s pretty shallow.”

Jeff shrugged. “He’s beautiful, wild. He knows what he wants, and that’s his freedom.”

“I feel like I should say something, but it all sounds pretty trite.”

That made Jeff laugh. “You know, you’re right. There’s nothing good to say. It sucks.”

“So you gotta focus on the stuff that doesn’t. If you look, there’s a lot of it.”

He nodded, put the steak on the built-in grill, the onions in the hot pan with the butter.

“Oh damn, smell that.”

Jeff nodded, sliced the bread, happy as he’d been in weeks.

Donny opened the fridge and looked in. “What do you want to drink?”

“I’ll drink sparkling water, please.”

“Sounds good.” Donny grabbed one of the big blue bottles out of the fridge and set it on the table.

Soon they were sitting together—plates served, music on, things easy.

“This is really, really good, Jeff.”

“I hope so. I’ve been working at it a very long time.”

Donny chuckled. “You make it sound like you’re sixty.”

“I’m close.” Not even. Not even close.

Donny laughed outright at that. “You are not.”

“Ancient.” He fought the grin.

“You’d better tell me your secret, then, because you look great.”

They laughed together then, and it was surprisingly easy to relax and have a meal.

After they’d eaten, Donny did the dishes, sending Jeff into the living room to find a movie to watch. He picked up The Producers, then put that down. That was stereotypical. The Matrix? Too loud. Oh, The Thirteenth Warrior was harmless and eye candy.

Donny wandered in with another bottle of the sparkling water and a couple of glasses. “You pick something for us to watch?”

“The Thirteenth Warrior?”

“Oh yeah. Antonio Banderas is such a sweet bottom in that one.” Donny’s eye went wide for a second, and he bit his lips.

They stared at each other, then cracked up, both of them laughing hard together. They put the movie in and settled on the couch, comfortable.

“Thank you.” Jeff smiled at Donny. “It’s nice to just sit.”

“It is, isn’t it? Relax for a bit. And I won’t even ask for gourmet popcorn.” Donny’s eyes twinkled at him.

“Oh, you wait. I’ll get the curry out.”

Donny made a face. “Damn, I was thinking more caramel….”

“Caramel corn with cashews. Mmm.”

“Oh, now that’s a flavor I can get behind.” Donny grinned at him.

“Maybe tomorrow.” He was too full to move.

“I might hold you to that.” Donny stretched and started the movie, smiling. Their legs settled against each other.

It was better than he’d feared, less awkward. Weird. The movie was entertaining, Donny making comments that had him laughing. He thought Antonio Banderas’s little blond friend was completely edible.

Donny stretched when the movie was over. “Man, I love this movie. Thanks.”

“Me too. You heading to bed, or you want to watch one more?”

“It’s a nice grown-up evening. I wouldn’t say no to another movie.” Donny’s smile was warm, friendly. Maybe a little sexy.

“You pick this one.” That way he could watch.

“It’s a deal.” Donny went over to the bookcase of DVDs, taking his time to look through them.

Jeff relaxed back, let himself admire when no one would notice.

“You have Grease!” Donny laughed and pulled out the movie. “This is the only one my sisters watched over and over that I actually liked.”

“Summer lovin’….” Jeff sang the first line of “Summer Nights,” playfully.

Donny laughed. “I think I can recite this movie word for word.”

“Well, put it on. We’ll sing along.”

Donny cackled and changed out the DVDs before coming back to sit with him again.

Crazy. Absolutely crazy. That he’d be sitting and singing “Hopelessly Devoted to You” with a nanny while his children slept. Life was strange.

Donny actually got up and did the dance for “We Go Together” at the end of the movie, laughing like a loon.

Jeff applauded, threw a pillow at the dork, both of them rolling with laughter. It wasn’t until a tiny hand grabbed his shirt and tugged that he looked down. “What are you doing out of bed, Robin?”

“I heared you.”

“Oops. I’m sorry, Robin. We were singing along to the music.” Donny bent down in front of Robin, smiling. “We didn’t mean to wake you.”

Robin hugged Donny. “I sing?”

Jeff chuckled. “I don’t think these songs are for you, buddy.”

“We could sing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle.’” Donny sat back down, putting Robin between them.

“Star song!” Robin clapped, leaned against him, and Jeff grabbed a blanket, wrapping his baby boy up.

Donny led them through it, Robin’s little voice joining in enthusiastically. He did love that happy sound, how Robin cuddled into him, fingers holding his. They went through the song twice before Robin’s eyelids started to sag. He hummed softly, nodding as Donny turned the lights down. Donny kept singing, voice becoming softer and softer until Robin’s eyes closed for the last time.

“Thank you,” he mouthed.

Donny just smiled and mouthed back, “I’ll take him up.”

He nodded, handed Robin over, and started cleaning up from their snack. Donny disappeared, the soft sound of his singing trailing behind him. For the first time in almost a month, Jeff felt like he could do this.

The house wasn’t just quiet, it was peaceful; he had help, he’d gotten some sleep. Yeah. Maybe he could do this.