Chapter Six

 

 

DONNY SETTLED happily into a routine with the kids. Now that they had the things they needed, and the house was childproofed, he felt like he had a handle on stuff. Jeff worked pretty crazy hours, but as they were consistent, Donny thought they were working.

He was putting in more time than originally agreed upon, but he didn’t mind; it wasn’t like he had a huge social life that he was missing by getting up with Robin in the mornings so Jeff could sleep in, or hanging out with them.

This morning was no different. He was at one end of the couch, baby in one hand, Stephen King in the other, while Robin played with his building blocks—which were spread everywhere—in the middle of the living room.

“…me alone, you bastard!” Jeff’s voice trickled downstairs; he sounded utterly furious.

“Hey, Robin, you wanna tell me about what you’re building?” Donny gave the boy a smile and patted the space next to him. Hopefully if Robin was talking and distracted, he wouldn’t hear Jeff.

“Momma’s house.”

“…anymore.” Something upstairs shattered. Oh man. It did not sound like things were getting any better with Jeff’s phone call.

“It looks like a great house. How many rooms does it have?”

“Momma’s room. Kim’s room. My room. Bathroom.”

“Is there a kitchen?” He just needed to keep Robin occupied.

“No. Daddy Jeff’s house has a kitchen.”

Jeff came down the stairs, face like a thundercloud.

“Didn’t Momma’s house have a kitchen?” He asked Robin the question, but he gazed at Jeff, let his eyebrows go up.

Jeff almost looked like he was going to cry.

“Nope.”

Jeff shook his head. “It did too. It was yellow.”

“Why don’t you see if you can remember and can build it? I’m going to go to the kitchen and get Daddy Jeff a cup of coffee, okay?” He kissed the top of Robin’s head and stood, Kimmie still sleeping in his arms. He nodded toward the kitchen.

Jeff followed him, heading right for the back door, where he leaned his head on the screen. “That motherfucker.”

“The ex?” It was Donny’s best guess.

“He wants the house. My house!”

“Wow. That’s…. Can he do that?” What an utter fuckwad. Why had a nice guy like Jeff been with him?

“No. No, but he can bluster and bitch and threaten to sue and piss me off.” Jeff sighed. “He’s claiming this was our house. I designed it. I built it. I paid for it.”

“I thought he broke up with you? Isn’t it the breakupee who’s supposed to be an asshat?”

“Yeah.” Jeff sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. “I hate waking up to that sh—stuff.”

“I bet. Is there anyone you need to call? Like a lawyer or someone?”

“I’ll talk to Cathy later. Right now, I want my coffee and to believe that the day’s getting better.” Jeff winked at him, and that warm smile hit him balls deep. “How are you, Donny?”

He found himself smiling back at Jeff, caught in those lovely eyes. “Hmm?”

“Having a good day? Have you guys eaten breakfast?”

“We are. We had Cheerios and then quiet time in the living room.”

“Would you like bacon sandwiches?”

“Really?” He all but drooled, only this time over the food. “Yes, please.”

“I’ll make some.” Jeff started moving, then stopped, came over, and kissed Kimmie’s little head. “Morning, sweet baby,” he whispered.

Donny felt his heart melt a little bit, and he had to stop himself from taking a kiss of his own. He was going to have to quit noticing how handsome Jeff was before he got in real trouble. Long-term heartbreak trouble.

“I should check on Robin.”

“Okay, I’ll start bacon.” Jeff smiled at him, the look simply breathtaking.

He smiled back, caught there for another moment before he shook himself, hard, and went to check on Robin, Kimmie still asleep in his arms.

Robin was busily building either a dinosaur, a semi truck, or an elephant. It was hard to tell. He watched for a moment, enjoying the happy kid; this was why he had to resist falling for Jeff, because then he’d have to leave, and he didn’t want to leave these kids.

Robin looked up, grinned. “A twuck.”

Oh, he’d been right. Go him. “I thought so. It looks good.”

The little boy beamed at him, then bent back to his work, at least until the scent of frying bacon hit the air.

Grinning, Donny held out his hand. “Come on, let’s go see if Daddy needs any help.”

Robin took his fingers and grinned. “Daddy Jeff! I help!”

Jeff’s laughter trickled in. “I have a bowl of grapes on the table for you to pull off the stems.”

Donny had to admit, the man learned quickly.

They joined Jeff in the kitchen, and Donny started to prepare a bottle for Kimberley, who was beginning to make her wake-up faces.

It looked like Jeff had recovered, the smells of brunch delicious.

“I’m going to get fat,” Donny announced as he took the bottle of formula out of the microwave.

“Nonsense. This is good, honest food.”

He laughed, and that was what woke Kimmie up, her little face screwing up immediately to scream. “Hey, sweetie, none of that.” He jogged her in his arm and tested the temperature on the bottle.

Before scream number two, he popped the bottle in her mouth, and Robin looked up from the grapes. “She’s a stupid, loud baby. You should give her back.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, really hard, to keep from laughing. “I know she doesn’t seem to do much but cry and poop and sleep right now, but soon you’ll have someone to play with.”

Jeff nodded. “Besides, she needs you to be her big brother. You’re the only big brother she’ll ever have.”

“I wish I’d had a big brother like you.” Donny sat next to Robin. “Can I have a grape?”

“Yes.” Robin picked out one for him, and he ate it.

“Yum. That was a good one.” It was all so domestic. Donny loved it.

Jeff leaned over his shoulder, chest solid and hot against him. “Me too.”

Oh man. That felt good. For half a moment, he leaned back against Jeff. Robin popped a grape into Jeff’s lips, and then that heat faded, a touch to the side of his neck making him shiver.

Okay, he had to get control of himself here. He was just the nanny. That was all. Just an employee.

“Do you want mayo with your sandwich, Don?”

“No, thanks.” He’d take the hunk of a chef cooking it, though. He mentally rolled his eyes at himself; that was not remembering he was just an employee.

“Okay. Robin, are you almost ready?”

Robin nodded. “Almost finished!”

Donny chuckled, pulling himself together. “So’s Kimberley.”

“Excellent. Bacon sandwiches and home fries for the family.”

Donny put Kimberley over his shoulder to burp her and licked his lips. The food looked very yummy.

“You eat. I’ll burp.” Jeff took Kimberley and the cloth, bouncing her and walking around.

Donny didn’t say no to that; he was too busy stuffing his face and making “Mmm, good” noises.

“You like bacon sandwiches?” he finally asked Robin as he slowed down to savor.

“Sammiches.” Robin ate his sandwich slowly, in pieces.

Donny went to the fridge and grabbed the ketchup for his home fries.

Jeff popped Kimberley in her swing, humming under his breath.

Donny nodded, pleased to see him getting into the rhythm of things, coming into his own as Daddy. These kids needed him present and happy and there for them as much as possible.

“Thanks, Jeff. That rocked.”

“Thanks, Daddy Jeff!” Robin went and hugged Jeff’s leg before heading back to his blocks.

Donny cleared his own and Robin’s plates, started washing them.

“Anytime.” Jeff leaned against the fridge, eyes closed.

“Tired?” Donny asked as he put the last glass in the dish rack.

“No. Headache. I’ll be fine.”

“Can I get you some aspirin or an ice pack or something?”

“No, Don. I’m good. I just… I hate being woken up to nastiness.”

“How about a massage? That should help wipe out the crappy phone call.”

Those eyes met his. “Are you cool with that? I don’t want to make you… uncomfortable.”

“I think I can handle it if you can. And I wouldn’t have offered if I hadn’t meant it.”

Jeff nodded and sat at the kitchen table. Donny stood behind Jeff and started rubbing his shoulders. They were wide and strong, warm. And maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea because maybe he was going to like it a little too much.

He dug his thumbs in, and Jeff groaned, head falling forward toward the table. Ignoring the fact that Jeff smelled good, and that the skin beneath his hands was warm and smooth, Donny kept massaging, working the tense muscles.

“God. You rock.”

Donny chuckled, the warmth going to his belly and all the way to his toes. “Thanks.”

“You’re like the best damn present, you know? I’d have been insane by now.”

He chuckled. “Like the gay version of Mary Poppins?”

Jeff chuckled. “You’re way cuter and less stiff upper lip.”

“Thank you, Daddy Jeff.” He kept the comment about exactly what he could do with his upper lip to himself. There were, after all, kids nearby. Not to mention Jeff was his boss.

“You’re welcome, Donny Poppins.”

They cracked up together, their laughter filling the air. When Kimberley laughed, hard and loud, they both stopped. God, how beautiful.

“Did you see that?” Donny asked quietly, hands resting on Jeff’s shoulders.

Jeff nodded, body beginning to shake, sobs rocking him. “Beth should be here. That laugh belonged to her.”

“Oh, Jeff. Man.” He squeezed Jeff’s shoulders and then went down onto his knees, wrapped his arms around the guy. “It isn’t your fault.”

Jeff stiffened for a second, then pushed into his arms, crying hard, mourning. Had Jeff had a chance to really let go and cry over Beth before now? Or had he tried to tough it out because of the kids? Donny rocked him, patted his back, and murmured soothingly. Jeff held on, the sorrow hard and deep, pouring out of him.

“It’s okay, Jeff. It’s okay. Let it out. Let it all out.”

It took a few more minutes; then Jeff wound down, breath hitching. Donny kept rocking, patting Jeff’s back. He wondered again if it was the first time Jeff had really let go like that. If so, it had been long overdue.

“I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry, Don.”

“It’s okay. Really. I bet you’ve been holding it in for a long time.”

“I just…. She loved them so much.”

Donny nodded. She’d gone to a fair bit of trouble to have them. “It’s pretty fucking shitty that she died.”

“It is. And she hurt for twenty hours before she went. She smelled like burned flesh. I just…. It’s not right, Don. It’s not fucking right.”

Donny held back his shudder; how terrible for Beth to have gone through it and for Jeff to have seen it, held her hand ’til the end. “No, it’s not. But it’s what happened.” You couldn’t change what had happened. No matter how hard you wanted to. It was awful, but you couldn’t wish it away.

“I know. I hate it.”

Kimberley gurgled, and Jeff reached out, tugged her little toes playfully. “And you. Listen to you laughing right out loud.”

“She’s a sweetie. And you have to hold on to that, huh? It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right, but you got these two beautiful kids who love you, and you take the good that comes with the bad and hold on tight.”

“Yeah. I can do that.” Jeff sighed. “It’ll get easier.”

“It will. Not to be glib or anything, but time does do that.” He slid his hand around to rest on Jeff’s thigh as he looked into Jeff’s wet eyes.

“Hey. I promise not to melt down weekly.”

Donny laughed. “You do it as often as you need to, man. I won’t judge.”

Jeff hugged him hard, kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Don.”

He hugged back and then sat on his haunches. “I’ll keep an eye on the kids if you want to go ahead and call the people you need to call about the asshole ex.”

“Thank you. Thanks. I think we should maybe walk to the park too before I have to go in. The weather’s supposed to get wet the rest of the week.”

“Sounds good. You do your thing, and we’ll be ready for fun in the sun when you’re done.”

He resisted the urge to take a real kiss, stood, and lifted Kimberley before heading back to the living room to see what Robin was up to.