CHAPTER 3
~Hayden~
Like I’d been doing a lot lately, I spent the night at Kenzie’s house. Sleep was elusive though. I kept tossing and turning; no position was comfortable. My mind refused to settle down, and my day replayed over and over in my head. I kept analyzing my conversation with Kenzie, trying to figure out how she’d taken my words. Then my thoughts turned to Felicia. Not to her personally, but to the brief encounter we’d had. Could I have handled that differently? Been more assertive? Why the hell was she back?
Thinking of Felicia got me thinking about the rest of my original pack. Did Izzy know Felicia was back? I should probably tell her. Then she could tell Hookup, if he didn’t already know. Although…maybe I should talk to him. Maybe I’d handled that situation wrong, too, and I should try to make some sort of peace with him. I wasn’t sure, but it was weird not having him in my life. God, what to do. I’d felt lost several times in my life before, but nothing quite like this.
My pillow felt like a rock, the sheets felt like sandpaper, but eventually I found a somewhat comfortable position, and started relaxing as the pull of sleep began to take me under. The thoughts tumbling through my brain slowed into languid visions—some of my past, some of my present. A memory of running through the rain with Felicia morphed into running along the beach with Kenzie. Racing through the streets alternated between Felicia and Kenzie beside me, and then oddly, both women were there. Exploring Felicia’s body, nervous and fumbling as I tried to figure it all out, shifted into masterfully bringing Kenzie to the brink, then keeping her there for hours.
As my body began to shut off for the night, my thoughts turned weirder and weirder—flying cats, Keith telling me he was my father, my bike having a conversation with me. Then, deep in dreamland, I found myself walking into the Cox Racing garage. It wasn’t empty, like it was in real life, but bustling with activity and energy…like it used to be.
Mechanics, riders, and crew members milled about the room, endlessly going from space to space. Nikki was in the center of the garage, laughing over something with her friend, Myles, as she worked on Kenzie’s bike. I looked around for my girlfriend, but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Starting to worry about her, I took a step toward Nikki. A hand on my shoulder stopped me. I expected to see Kenzie standing behind me when I spun around. It wasn’t her though.
“Felicia? What are you doing here?” Confusion rang through my brain as I tried to make sense of all the out of place images: a full garage, Kenzie gone…Felicia here.
She stared at me with a calm smile that was edged with sadness. “I’m here for you. It’s time to go, Hayden.”
Ice tightened my spine, and I glanced around the room again for Kenzie. The entire garage was empty now, though—not a trace of the people or the machines remained. Thinking I should tell Felicia I wasn’t going anywhere with her, I said, “Time to go where?”
Holding both my hands in hers, she whispered, “Time to go home.”
I woke up with a start. My heartbeat was fast, and I was breathing heavier. Thing was, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the dream, other than relief that it was a dream. A part of me had been crushed, while another part of me had been hopeful. I didn’t want to think about it, and I definitely didn’t want to analyze it. Sometimes a dream was just a dream, and there were no hidden meanings.
A soft, comforting hand touched my chest. “You okay?” Kenzie mumbled, voice thick with sleep.
Not wanting her to feel my racing heart, I grabbed her fingers and brought them to my lips. “Yeah, just a weird dream. Go back to sleep.”
She popped up on her elbow to look at me, and even in the bleak grayness of her room, I could see the concern in her eyes. “Dream? About what?”
God, why did she have to ask that? There was no way on Earth I could tell her. There was just no way to explain it without making myself look bad. Or making my subconscious look bad, at any rate, since that was a completely unauthorized dream. If I could, I’d fire somebody.
“I don’t really…I don’t remember much. It’s fuzzy.” I felt horrible lying to her, but in this case, it was the absolute right call. Sometimes the truth opened a door that couldn’t be shut again.
Kenzie frowned, like she could sense the deceit, and I silently begged her not to pry. Don’t make me confess what you don’t want to know. Like she’d heard my plea, she smiled and leaned down to kiss me. “Well, you don’t need to worry about the boogey man, I’m here to protect you.”
My ears picked up a slight emphasis on the words, “I’m here.” It was subtle, but she was definitely stressing the fact that she was the one in bed with me, in a relationship with me. That she was the one who hadn’t abandoned me. I know. And I love you so much for that.
I couldn’t say that to her without confessing my small sin, so instead, I cupped her cheek and drew her mouth back to me. “I love you so much,” I said between tender kisses.
“I love you too…so much.” Her kiss grew more frantic after her words, more passionate, like she was trying to show me how much she cared, then she slipped her leg over mine and repositioned herself so she was straddling my hips. I already knew she loved me, and she didn’t need to do this to prove it, but I had something to show her too, so I pulled her hips into mine and let her deepen the kiss.
With her rubbing against me, I was hard in an instant, straining against my underwear. Kenzie moaned as she rocked against me. Sitting up, she pushed her chest out to me and dropped her head back. I took the opportunity to reach out and feel her firm breast through the fabric of her light tank top. Her rigid nipple called to me like a beacon, and I desperately wanted it in my mouth. Sliding my fingers up her ribs, taking the top with it, I slowly exposed the tender flesh. Kenzie’s gaze returned to me, and with a small smile on her face, she lowered her breast to my lips. A groan escaped me when I felt that hard peak in my mouth. I rolled my tongue around it, savoring it, cherishing it. Kenzie sucked in a quick breath, then dug her hips into mine, hard.
As the pleasure ripped through me, my mouth parted and her breast escaped me. Kenzie quickly ripped off her shirt, then circled her hips in a pattern that was going to make me lose control if I didn’t pull my shit together. I could not come before I’d even entered her. Wanting to drive her wild before she sent me over the edge, I slid my hand between our bodies, searching for that warm wetness I loved so much.
I slowly slid my finger between her legs. Kenzie cried out, gripping my shoulders so hard I thought I might be bruised tomorrow. “Fuck, you’re so wet…you feel so good.” I wasn’t sure if this was the right moment for dirty talk, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it, and it felt great to tell her the truth.
Kenzie made some incoherent noise as I traced a slow circle around her core. Then I heard her mumble, “I need you.” There was so much sincerity in the sentence, that I pulled my hand away and rolled her onto her back.
Looking down into her eyes, I lovingly told her, “I need you too.” I prayed she understood that I didn’t mean sex. Very few people understood me like she did—our interests, our competitiveness, our tragic pasts, our fiery passion—it was like she was designed specifically for me. Thank God fate had put us on a path toward each other.
A warm look softened Kenzie’s eyes as she stared up at me. Doing my best to not break eye contact, I pulled off her underwear, then my own. Once we were bare, I slid inside her. Then I had to close my eyes—the sensation was so great, I had no choice. “Oh God,” I heard her say beneath me. I internally echoed the sentiment. Nothing felt as good as being buried inside her; in this, too, it was like we were built for one another.
To make this connection last, I kept the pace slow and steady, almost tortuous. Kenzie was writhing before too long, panting with need. Her desire fed my own, and I reluctantly picked up the pace; I never wanted this to end. As we drove into each other, the building pressure inside me told me I wasn’t going to last for long. Just let her come first, please. Adjusting our hips, I tried a different angle. Kenzie’s mouth popped open, and she whispered my name followed by three yeses. Then her head dropped back and her body stiffened. A long, erotic cry left her, and I hungrily devoured the sounds and sight of the wondrous woman beneath me. God, she was amazing.
I forced myself to wait until her orgasm was almost through before plunging deep into her, working on my own release. It didn’t take long to find the exact right trigger point, and I groaned in relief and ecstasy when the buildup finally exploded into a euphoric climax.
Kenzie wrapped her arms around me as I came, and a feeling of belonging swept over me. My dream was wrong…this was home.
Once the shockwaves of pleasure were gone, I slowly pulled out of her. Shifting to her side, I gently kissed her shoulder. “I love you,” I murmured, my breath still quick.
“I love you too,” she said, an unstoppable grin on her face. The smile quickly shifted into a frown, though, and she studied me for a moment before asking, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Scoffing, I indicated my bare body with my hand. There had to be visible waves of bliss rising off my skin with how good I felt. “Don’t I look okay?”
Her eyes slowly scanned my body, and the surveillance started reigniting me. God, I just couldn’t get enough of her. “Always,” she murmured. Then her expression grew serious. “But the dream…and even before that, you weren’t sleeping well. I could tell.”
I hated the fact that I’d disrupted her rest. This was her house, so she should be able to sleep soundly inside it. “I’m sorry about that. I really am fine, though, Kenzie. I promise.” Hoping I truly meant that, I kissed her soft skin again. “Hey,” I said, propping myself up on an elbow. “Since we’re up early, do you want to go for a run or something?”
For a moment, the look on Kenzie’s face was really strange. It was almost like she was looking for deceit or a cover-up in my eyes. I kept my face as unchanging as possible. She wouldn’t trust me with my feelings for Felicia overnight. I just had to keep trying to show her that she had my heart in her hands; one day she might believe it. “Sure,” she finally answered.
We took our time getting out of bed, and there was plenty of touching, kissing, and fondling before we finally threw off the covers. It was still pretty chilly, so we both dressed in long layers—luckily, I had clothes and a pair of athletic shoes tucked in her closet from a previous run.
The sun was just rising when we stepped outside—red and orange painted the sky in a colorful mosaic. Kenzie extended her arms over her head, slightly exposing her belly; immediately, I thought we should still be in bed. Lifting her foot, she grabbed her ankle and pulled it in for a quick stretch, then she bounced on her heels to warm up. I was frozen in place, staring at her, and she laughed when she noticed my rapt attention. Giving me a devilish grin, she murmured, “Race me or chase me, Hayes,” then she took off like a bolt of lightning.
Still dazed by her beauty, it took me a second to stop staring and chase after her. It didn’t take long for my competitive spirit to kick in, though, and, before I knew it, I was drowning in endorphins almost as powerful as the ones I felt during sex. God, I loved racing this woman. Even on foot.
The two of us ran until the sun crested the horizon, neither one giving up first place for long. The farther we ran, though, the more I felt the pull of exhaustion; with every mile, my feet felt more like concrete, weighing down my steps. Endurance training just wasn’t my strong suit. On the final stretch back to Kenzie’s house, my body refused to go any faster, and she pulled ahead. When she reached her driveway before me, she jumped up and down with her hands in the air. Even though it was technically poor sportsmanship to celebrate winning like Kenzie did, I loved every second of it. It made me want to find a way for her to compete again, hopefully at Daytona in a few months. Somehow, it just had to be possible.
“Good job, 22,” I panted. “You got me.”
She gave me a breathless grin, but it slowly fell off her face as my words sunk in. I’d called her my old pet name for her—the number she’d raced under. In one sentence, I’d reminded her of everything she’d lost. Goddamn it.
“Kenzie, I’m—”
She stopped my apology with a quick question. “Hungry? I can make a couple of protein shakes for breakfast.”
I nodded. “Sounds great.” Wanting to lighten the mood, I asked, “Can we have bacon too?” She raised an eyebrow, then shook her head and laughed. Mission accomplished. Although, I hadn’t really been joking about the bacon.
The entire time Kenzie made the shakes, I felt like I should apologize. I was beginning to feel like that a lot lately, and it was exhausting. But it couldn’t be helped. Everything seemed to be conspiring against us recently. Story of my fucking life.
“Here you go,” Kenzie said, a smile in her voice as she handed me my bacon-free protein shake.
I took it, but my expression wasn’t nearly as happy as hers. “A little grease never hurt anyone, you know,” I told her.
“A little less grease and you might have beat me,” she retaliated. I scowled at her, but hearing the humor in her voice made a warmth bloom inside me. Humor meant we were okay.
There was a challenge in her deep brown eyes that was captivating, like a moth to a flame, I couldn’t look away. I was just about to tell her exactly what I could do with a little grease when my cell phone on the island chimed with a new message. Smirk on my face, I causally walked over to peek at the notification. What I saw was confusing, so I picked up my phone to check it out. I didn’t recognize the number ending in double fives and double sixes, but the message was clear enough.
‘Hey, it’s Felicia. Keith wanted me to remind you about the team meeting this morning. I guess it’s important, and he doesn’t want you to be late. See you soon.’
Anger boiled through my veins as I stared at my phone. What the hell? I hadn’t had this number when we were together, so Keith must have given it to her. Shit.
“What is it?” I heard Kenzie ask.
Tearing my eyes from the screen, I cursed myself for staring at it for so long, and with such a hard expression on my face. I should have played it cool, no matter what it was. Trying in vain to fix my face, I debated what I could tell her—the truth was obviously out. “I…um…Keith…there’s a team meeting this morning, so I have to go soon.” That was kind of true, so I didn’t feel too guilty saying it. The fib still stung my conscience though. I was trying to convince her I was being faithful by being dishonest. How fucked up was that?
Kenzie’s brow scrunched, and her eyes darted to the screen. Crap, could she read it from her angle? As discreetly as I could, I deleted the message. Kenzie wouldn’t handle it too well if she knew my ex was texting me. Damn it, this was quickly turning into a nightmare. Maybe I should just tell her. But then she’d worry…and there was nothing to worry about. I was over Felicia. One hundred percent over her.
“Oh, okay…” Kenzie mumbled, looking confused.
Not wanting her to dwell on my answer, I quickly tossed out, “Want to go to the track with me today? Say hi to Nikki? Or…do you have more phone calls to make?”
Kenzie sighed, and I could tell she’d let the text go. “I don’t have it in me right now to make more phone calls. Maybe this afternoon I’ll try again…”
She let out another weary exhale, and I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. She needed it. Damn Jordan and his damn vendetta. I was sure she was tired of hearing me say I was sorry, so I remained quiet as I held her, but the words reverberated around my soul anyway.
Like she could see the words on my face, Kenzie avoided direct eye contact with me. “We should shower before we go,” she murmured.
Normally those words would have riled me up, but that wasn’t the feeling in the air right now. “Okay, sweetheart, let’s go shower.”
Kenzie laughed and looked up at me. That word had incensed her when we’d first met. I supposed always having to prove herself in such a male-dominated profession had placed some pretty heavy chips on her shoulders. Coming from the world of street racing, a sport that did not go over well with my new peers, I understood the feeling. My feminizing her like that had instantly raised her hackles, turning her from somewhat cordial to a raging bitch. It amused her now, though, especially since she could repeat the sentiment back to me. “We better get going, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you to be late.”
She looked at me over her shoulder as she left the room, and I mentally photographed her flirty grin so I could forever store it in my memory. That one’s a keeper.
After a joint shower that was way too quick for my tastes, we got dressed for the day and rolled our street bikes out of Kenzie’s impressively-sized garage. After the door was closed and locked, Kenzie pulled on her helmet and started her engine. I took a long moment to appreciate the beauty of her on a motorcycle before putting on my own helmet. There was just something about Kenzie on a bike that got all my juices flowing—I wanted to hold her, kiss her, race her, and undress her, all at the same time.
Kenzie revved her engine, teasing me, and I quickly straddled my bike and started it. We might not be able to race like we used to, but we could still compete in some small ways. In one smooth move, I turned my bike around and pulled onto the street. Kenzie was a breath behind me. My grin was uncontrollable as I surged forward.
We took it easy as we drove through the town of Oceanside, California, but the second we merged onto the highway, we both leaned over our bikes, lowering our wind resistance, and letting down our guards. Freedom and excitement rushed through me as the thrill of riding with her took me over.
Knowing we needed to be careful, I glanced down at the speedometer and cringed; we were already fifteen miles over the limit. Not having the ability to push me and my bike against Kenzie and hers was annoying. To Kenzie, it must be stifling, like a leash tethered to her neck. I wanted to go faster, not slower, but I didn’t really have a choice—Keith would have my ass if I got a speeding ticket.
Reluctantly, I reduced my speed. That was when I noticed Kenzie starting to inch past me. Doing everything to keep her from winning was too ingrained in me to keep slowing down, and I gently laid on the throttle, increasing my speed. Just a little, just enough to keep her at bay.
I cast quick glances her way, surprised she was open to racing with me…and even more surprising, I was open to it too. I knew I shouldn’t even entertain the idea…but it had been ages, and I was jonesing. After finally accepting that this was happening, I leaned forward and pressed on the speed. I could easily envision Kenzie smiling under her helmet; I certainly was. Game on.
As I quickly moved around her, my heart accelerated to match my pace. There were so many reasons we shouldn’t be doing this, but I just couldn’t stop myself. Forcing my gaze to stay on the road and not my speedometer, I curved low through dips and corners with Kenzie right on my tail. Memories flooded through me as I raced—the bank of lights holding me back, then releasing me, the various flags used to warn or encourage, the multitude of other riders, giving their all for a win, the concrete barriers creating the manufactured roads, the thrill of competition, the strain, the stress…the satisfaction. I couldn’t wait for the racing season to start, but God…if only Kenzie could start it with me. Things wouldn’t be the same without her.
I ended up beating Kenzie to the turnoff that led to the practice track by mere seconds. Raising my fist into the air, I glanced over my shoulder to where she was close behind me, then I lifted my ass in the air and smacked it. Kenzie shook her head, but I knew she was amused. Joy lightened my heart, giving me a euphoria that was difficult to duplicate. I loved beating Kenzie. I loved competing with Kenzie. I missed racing with her. So much.
Kenzie moved up beside me as we approached the outer gate. Raising my visor, I gave her a triumphant smile. Got you. Lifting her own shield, she rolled her eyes at me. Laughing at me helped distract Kenzie from the sign looming over our heads: Benneti Motorsports Practice Track. It was twice as big as the old sign had been, even though it only had one name on it now. And to make the fact that he owned it even clearer, Keith had enhanced the sign with a tacky tagline that Kenzie truly hated: Where Champions Reside. Even though he hadn’t outright said it, I was pretty sure the slogan was a dig on Kenzie’s dad, since he no longer “resided” there. Kenzie scowled whenever she noticed the sign.
Wanting to hurry past it, I used my key card and code to open the gate, and Kenzie and I rode through together. It had to be odd for Kenzie to no longer have a key card to this place, but she’d told me John had collected hers when she’d picked up her bikes. Jordan Cox had been conspicuously absent that day. And every day since from what I knew.
As we rode through the parking lot, the euphoria from the ride began to dissipate, and something darker replaced it. Glancing over at Kenzie, I saw the same frustrated expression on her face that I was feeling. Or maybe it was trepidation. The last time she’d gone to the track with me, it hadn’t exactly turned out well for her. Or for me really. Damn Keith. Why the hell had he hired Felicia? And was there really a meeting this morning? He hadn’t mentioned anything to me yesterday.
We drove through the open inner gate that led to the training complex, and the first thing that I always noticed when I came here filled my view—the mammoth practice course. Flanked on either side by large buildings that held offices and garage bays, the track was the focal point upon entering the inner sanctum. Kenzie’s helmet shifted to the right side of the course, where dark empty buildings held the ghosts of Cox Racing. Never properly repaired or maintained, the garages were run-down, dilapidated. It had been sad before the business closed, but now it was kind of heartbreaking.
I veered my bike toward the Benneti side of the track, but Kenzie turned her bike toward the Cox side. Coming here was so difficult for so many reasons; I honestly wasn’t sure how she got the strength to ride through the gate. It had to be like returning to the scene of a tragic crime and being reminded of the trauma over and over. It must kill her to come with me. I shouldn’t even ask her to step on the property. Man, I was so selfish.
Feeling horrible, I hesitated just a moment before following her. She stopped fifty feet from the Cox buildings, like she was reluctant to go any farther. The For Sale sign was huge this close to the building, and the cracked windows seemed somehow supernatural, like they were sucking life out of the air, making everything around them dark and dreary. Knowing the building was cold and vacant reminded me of my dream—Kenzie gone, Felicia pulling me away. A shiver went up my spine as I stopped my bike beside hers.
She looked my way, and I sighed. “I’m so sorry, Kenzie. It must suck for you to be here. I shouldn’t ask you to come with me.”
She gave me a wry look that told me I’d just said something she thought was utterly ridiculous. “I wouldn’t come here if I didn’t want to be here, Hayden. And…I don’t know, for some reason, I like coming here. I like seeing this.”
Her gaze returned to the abandoned buildings, and my eyes widened in shock. “How could you possibly like seeing this?” That made no sense to me.
Still scanning her old stomping grounds, she shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly. It’s just…seeing it empty like this…it gives me hope. If it’s empty, then it’s not gone. Not really.” She looked back at me, and there was a fervent passion in her eyes. “I feel like, so long as the buildings stay empty, there’s somehow this microscopic chance that Cox Racing could return. I know it’s probably not going to happen…but if no one takes ownership, then I can pretend we’ll rebuild. I have to carry that hope with me, Hayden. It’s all I have left…” she whispered.
It didn’t help my guilt one tiny little bit to hear her say that. It was like having a carving knife shoved through my chest. Repeatedly.
Her expression was suddenly so void of emotion, I knew a chaotic storm of feelings was swirling within her. Her career, her team, her dad…Felicia. One more thing would break her right now, I was sure, and I desperately didn’t want to be that one more thing. “Maybe I can talk to Keith. Convince him to let me train with you, since that’s how I got my best times last year.”
The look on her face told me she thought I’d have a better chance telling a whale to stop swimming in the ocean. She gave me a smile that almost reached her eyes. “Yeah…sure. Couldn’t hurt anything at this point.”
We turned our bikes around and headed back to the Benneti side. I’d spotted a brief glimmer of hope on Kenzie’s face when she’d lowered her visor, and I prayed Keith went along with my idea; Kenzie desperately wanted to race again, and I’d given her a possible way to do it. If I couldn’t come through… Fuck, I hated disappointing people I cared about.
Pulling up to the garages, we stopped our bikes before one of the open rolling doors. I removed my helmet and set it on the handlebar, then watched Kenzie do the same. She always fluffed out her ponytail whenever she took off her helmet, and I loved watching the wavy strands slide through her fingers. It was such a simple movement, but somehow, she made it erotic.
Kenzie smiled at me when she was finished, then we walked inside hand in hand. I felt her fingers clench mine, and saw her scan the room out of the corner of my eye. My chest tightened in a painful way when I realized she was looking for Felicia. God, what if Felicia said something to her about the text message this morning. I should have just told Kenzie the truth; this could backfire.
I discretely looked around for her, too, but she was, thankfully, nowhere to be found. And even more thankfully, Nikki wasn’t late for once, and was at her work station, fiddling with my bike.
The cheery Latin American girl gave us a wide smile when she noticed me approaching with her best friend. “Hey Hayden, Kenzie. How’s it going?” she asked, wiping her dirty hands on a towel.
I’d worried in the beginning how the guys here would treat Nikki, but it wasn’t a problem. Nikki was charming and personable, always going above and beyond to get to know the crew and the riders. Plus, she was a mechanic, not a racer, and from all I’d seen, anyone who worked hard to make a Benneti bike better was practically lifted to godhood around here. She was doing just fine at her new job, and she seemed to really enjoy working on my Honda CBR600RR.
Kenzie smiled as she answered her ex-mechanic’s question. “It’s good. How’s it going here?”
Nikki’s dark eyes sparkled with delight. “Excellent.” She shifted her gaze to me. “Just finished sprucing up your bike. She should really fly now.”
I gave her a wide grin. “Awesome! I can’t wait to take her out.” My gaze drifted to Kenzie, and I instantly felt sorry that she couldn’t come out with me. But maybe she could… I’d talk to Keith about it at the meeting. He had to see reason. I needed her.
Just as I was about to tell her my plan, someone nearby called my name. All of us twisted around to see Keith hobbling toward us. Kenzie let out a small sigh, and she kind of looked like she wanted to hide. Or run. She hated being around Keith, hated speaking to him even more.
I straightened my stance as Keith approached, and Nikki instantly busied herself with my bike; she obviously didn’t want her boss to think she was slacking off. Keith shot Kenzie deadly daggers the entire time he strode our way. I found that really irritating. It was no secret that Keith didn’t like Kenzie. Not only was she the child of a man he hated, she was the spitting image of her dead mother, a woman Keith had supposedly loved. He’d lost her to Jordan at the end, and the animosity between the two men had instantly become fixed in stone. Keith didn’t need to take that bitter rivalry out on Kenzie though; none of that had been her fault, and as I’d told Kenzie once, their problems weren’t our problems.
Stopping in front of me, Keith gruffly said, “You get my message about the rider meeting? It’s in ten minutes. My office. Don’t be late. And don’t bring your little gal-pal.” His dark eyes shifted back to Kenzie, and the sneer on his face deepened. My momentary relief that he hadn’t mentioned the fact that he’d used Felicia as his delivery person faded. He shouldn’t look at Kenzie that way, and he shouldn’t call her my “gal-pal.” It reeked of contempt.
Before I could call him on it, he started speaking to Kenzie. “You still haven’t convinced your dad to sell his side to me, Mini-Cox. Every day he holds out is another slap in the face.” He pointed a pudgy finger at her. “You better fix this fast, or I’ll completely ban you from the track.”
Shock and anger competed for space inside me. He didn’t have the right to do that to her. The brief flicker of hope in Kenzie’s eyes—hope that I’d kindled—began to die at Keith’s statement. Stepping in front of her to refocus his attention on me, I firmly said, “No you won’t, Keith. If you want me to come in, then you’ll let her come in too. We’re a packaged deal.”
My plan worked, and Keith shifted his attention to me; his anger too. “Don’t threaten me, Hayes, and don’t underestimate what I will and won’t do to help my team win.” With a sleazy smile on his face, he lifted his free hand. “Now, I’m not saying I’d stoop to bike tampering like Jordan, but—”
His comment instantly enraged Kenzie, and she didn’t let him continue. “My father was not a part of that!”
Keith’s cool eyes looked back at her, and while he shrugged, it was clear he wasn’t swayed by her passionate words. “If you say so…”
“It wasn’t him!” she snapped. “It was—”
I could tell she was about to leak a secret that might bite all of us in the ass, so I snapped my gaze to her, and silently begged her to not say Hookup’s name.
Meeting my gaze and instantly understanding, Kenzie fumbled for different words to say. “It was someone else.”
“Whatever,” Keith blandly stated. “Just get your daddy to sell. Until you do, consider yourself trespassing the moment you pass through the gate.”
“Keith…” My voice came out both insistent and pleading at the same time. He couldn’t do this to us.
Keith’s eyes rolled my way, then he sighed. “Fine. She can go to the Cox side, and watch from there. You can briefly visit her when you’re not training.” I was so stunned, I could only stare at him in response. He shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that, Hayes. You can’t keep allowing non-employees into the garage. It’s not that kind of job.” He shuffled off to go tell others about the meeting, and once he was gone, I was surprised to find I was breathing heavier.
“Asshole,” Nikki murmured from her hiding place behind my bike; she cautiously looked around after she said it, to make sure only Kenzie and I had heard her. Goddamn Keith. After that conversation, I knew, without a doubt, that Keith would never agree to Kenzie and me training together. He’d rather see me fail than do anything that might help Kenzie.
Kenzie was pale but composed when I looked back at her. “I’ll talk to him, Kenzie, get him to come around.” How, I had no idea.
She shook her head as she studied me. “Don’t bother, Hayden. He’s right. I don’t belong here.” Looking around, she rubbed her arms, like she was feeling chilly eyes watching her every move. Keith wasn’t the only one who would love to see her gone, even I knew that. Things had been tricky for me at first, but the guys had come around eventually. They hadn’t with Kenzie. She was an ex-Cox racer and Jordan Cox’s daughter. If all they did was ignore her, I considered that a good day.
Hating the facts being ruthlessly shoved in my face, I softly whispered, “You do belong here, though. You belong wherever I am.”
She gave me a small one-sided grin that made me want to kiss her. “You should get to that meeting before Keith gets really mad.”
I sighed in defeat, then gave in to my desires, and lowered my lips to hers. The tender exchange was much too short for my taste, but she was right. I did have somewhere to be. After telling Kenzie I’d see her tonight, I trudged upstairs for that damn rider meeting.
The conference room that Keith used for meetings was on the far end of the building. It was empty when I got there, so I took a seat and waited. And waited. And waited. Just when I was about to call it quits, someone finally walked into the room, and, of course…it was Felicia. Nothing about my day was going to go right, apparently.
She closed the door behind her, and I immediately stood up. If there was going to be a meeting today, I’d come back when everyone else was here. I’d rather be late than stuck in a room with my ex.
Felicia’s dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She tilted her head, exposing her long neck. “You got my message?”
“I got Keith’s message,” I said in rebuttal. Looking around, I snapped, “Where is everyone?”
Felicia shrugged, then started walking around the long table toward me. “I don’t know. Did you keep it?”
I wanted to back up, but like my feet were glued to the carpet, I couldn’t. “Keep what?”
“My number,” she answered, her dark eyes warm and welcoming.
I felt like the room was heating as she approached, fire flared up my neck, roasting my face. Where the hell was Keith, Rodney, Maxwell…anyone would be great.
There was no way in hell I was going to confess that Felicia’s simple number was burned into my brain, so I said the only thing I could. “No, I didn’t.”
Determined to go around her, I turned and made my way to the other side of the table. Felicia changed her trajectory to block my exit. Great. So we were playing keep away now? “Move,” I told her, my voice hard.
“Listen,” she countered, her voice equally rough.
I sensed a fight coming, an epic fight four years in the making. Those fights had always ended in makeup sex before, but not this time. This time, there wouldn’t even be a fight. I would say my piece, then leave. Stopping where I was, I stared her down. “Once upon a time, I thought you were my destiny.”
Her face immediately brightened. “I am.”
My scowl deepened. “No…you ran.” She flinched, like I’d struck her. Ignoring the hurt I was inflicting, I continued spelling out my own pain. “You were always running, but you’d never run from me before. You’re not my destiny, because I don’t want to chase someone for the rest of my life. Not like that.”
“Hayden, I—”
Holding up my hand, I cut her off. “Did you know, I held out hope that you’d come back? That it was just another one of your disappearing acts? I kept telling myself you’d show up one day, acting like everything was fine, and things would go back to normal…so I put my life on hold and waited. Izzy was worried about me, Hookup thought I should be committed, but I didn’t care what they thought. I knew you’d come back to me. It took a year for me to realize you weren’t returning. A year, Felicia. It took me a solid year to give up on you. And what…it took you one evening alone to give up on me?”
With tears in her eyes, she shook her head. “Antonia was sick, I couldn’t deal, I just—”
“You couldn’t deal?” I asked, incredulous. “So you abandoned her? Like our parents abandoned us? She deserved better than that.” Contempt written all over my face, I snipped, “We’ve been friends since I was ten, lovers since I was fourteen. I thought I knew you…up until that day. We needed you, and you abandoned us. All of us.”
“Hayden,” she pleaded. “I just needed time.”
“Four years? No one needs four years. You ended us. You were done. And now, for some reason, you’re having second thoughts about that. Well, tough shit. You’re gonna have to deal with whatever it is you’re going through, because I’m done waiting for you. I’ve moved on, and I’m happier than ever.”
I stormed past her, on a mission to get to the door. She didn’t try to stop me, but she turned her head as I passed, and I heard soft words escape her mouth. “Are you?”
Opening the door, I left the room without a response. Her question burned through my mind though. Yes, of course I’m happy. Then why had I already lied to Kenzie about who’d texted me? Why had I already broken my promise? I’d told Kenzie I wouldn’t engage in conversation with Felicia. But I had. And it had felt damn good getting all that off my chest. And the fact that doing anything with Felicia made me feel good, also made me feel incredibly guilty. Kenzie would be crushed if she knew I’d deceived her. So, I’d just make sure she never found out. It wasn’t like it was going to happen again anyway.
***