CHAPTER 24
~Epilogue. Kenzie~
Things at the track were going—really well. It was a few weeks after New Jersey, and while it was typically a slow time of year for racers, both teams were bustling with activity. It thrilled me to see so much life in the Cox garages, and, even though I had a lot to do and a lot to learn, I cherished every day I got to walk into my father’s—no, my—building.
I wasn’t sure why Keith had his team practicing so often, but I had to believe it was mainly because he didn’t want to feel like we were showing him up or something. We’d already had a handful of arguments. The first disagreement was about the sign. In keeping with tradition, I’d placed Cox Racing before Benneti Motorsports on every sign around the track. Keith was furious. Said I’d had no right to design the signs without his input. He had a point, but I’d put up with so much shit from him that I didn’t care. Cox Racing had always been first on the sign, and I wasn’t about to change that.
The next major argument we’d had was about practice times. Keith had wanted to reinstate the noon switchover time. I’d flat-out told him no. So long as my guys didn’t interfere with the other riders, I didn’t see any reason why our teams couldn’t mingle, both on and off the track. Assigning times to keep our teams apart only created animosity and filled the air with tension. Not exactly an environment conducive to excellence. There was no reason our two teams couldn’t get along, and I knew from experience that a little healthy competition could drive a rider like nothing else. It was in everyone’s best interest to keep the track open and friendly. Keith didn’t see it that way, but I wasn’t budging on the issue. He could complain as much as he wanted.
“Ready to go home for the day, sweetheart?”
I looked up from my desk to see Hayden leaning against the doorframe of my office, smiling at me with an expression that was full of both amusement and love. He hadn’t called me a pet name in a while, and I knew he’d been dying to. I crooked a smile at him as I set my pen down. “In a bit.”
My smile turned into a frown as I wondered if his question had been some sort of subtle invitation. We’d agreed to take things slow, and so far, we’d been taking things really slowly. Hayden hadn’t even come over to my house yet. We met up when we went out, or we went out in groups. Maybe I was taking “slow” a little too literally, but…to be completely honest, I was nervous. I didn’t want to jump right in with both feet only to have my heart stomped on again. I was dipping my toes in the water, and praying they didn’t get bitten off.
But Hayden never once complained about the sloth-like pace of our relationship. He just kept telling me: Whatever you need, I’m not going anywhere. And considering the fact that Keith had rehired Felicia, and she was a stone’s throw away from Hayden all the time, I found his patience very comforting. He wanted this. He wanted me.
Hayden smiled, like he understood the change of my facial expression. “Let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll walk you to your truck.”
He turned and left, and all I could do was grin like an idiot at the place where he’d been standing. He was so sweet, so warm and loving. It made it very difficult to resist him, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep going slow and steady. Hayden just had a way of making me want to go fast.
Refocusing on my job, I forced my eyes to return to my desk. I hadn’t realized before just how much paperwork my father’s job had entailed, and I now understood why he used to stay so late every night. But if I was going to do this job long-term, I needed to find balance. And that meant I needed to let this go until tomorrow, clock out, and go home. After letting Hayden walk me to my truck, of course.
Standing up, I began organizing my desk so coming in here tomorrow wouldn’t drive me bat-shit crazy. My dad walked in just as I was finishing up the last to-do pile. Glancing up at him, I frowned. “Dad? I thought you went home hours ago.”
A small smile cracked his lips. “I’m used to being the last one out. I guess it’s hard to break that habit.”
Setting down my stack, I walked over to him with a smile on my face. “Well, you don’t need to do that anymore. Go home, get some rest.”
He nodded, then his smile faded. “The girls and I…well…we’d like you to come over for dinner this weekend. You and…Hayden.”
A grimace swept across his face, but it was gone so quickly, I almost could have imagined that I’d seen it. “You want to share a meal…with my boyfriend?” Just having dinner with me would have been a big step, but Hayden being there too—they really were trying.
From the look on Dad’s face, I could tell he wasn’t happy about what he was about to say, but then the annoyance shifted into a genuine grin. “It’s possible that I might have…misjudged him, and if you took him back, then there must be something in him worth keeping. I’ll just have to look harder. From his tone of voice, it was clear he thought that was an impossible mission. I was touched though. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll talk to Hayden. We’ll see you this weekend.”
Dad’s smile widened, and he started to turn around. Stopping himself, he asked, “Do you need any help with that?” He pointed at the pile of work waiting for me on my desk. I knew if I said yes, he’d stay here all night until everything was finished. But I didn’t want him sacrificing his life anymore for the business, or doing my job for me. I’d never learn the ins and outs if I wasn’t at the helm.
“Nope, I’m good. Thank you.”
Dad gave the desk a forlorn glance, like I’d taken something away from him, but then he nodded. I followed him out the door, then locked it tight behind me. Hayden was waiting for me in the garage. He was standing next to Myles and Nikki, apparently keeping them company while Nikki put her tools away for the night. Myles had a strange, resigned expression on his face while he listened to Hayden talking about something. While he hadn’t exactly warmed up to Hayden, he was a little more willing to be around him now. Slightly.
I said goodnight to Dad, then headed over to my friends and boyfriend. Nikki shot me a guilty look when she noticed me approaching. That glance made me swear under my breath. She was supposed to tell Myles about being pregnant today, but obviously, that hadn’t happened. Damn it. If I left this up to Nikki, she wouldn’t tell him until after the baby was born.
Myles turned and grinned at me, so I quickly fixed my face. “Hey, Kenzie. We were thinking about going out for drinks. Want to come?”
I shifted my eyes to Nikki. “Drinks? Really?”
Her face turned sheepish. She’d successfully hidden the fact that she wasn’t drinking from Myles for a while now—ordering her own non-alcoholic drinks at the bar, or secretly flagging down the waitress and changing her order—but she wouldn’t be able to keep that crap up forever. She needed to tell him.
Myles clearly didn’t understand what my comment really meant. He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Kenzie. I know you’re back in full-on training mode, but I’m living testament that having fun on occasion won’t kill you, or ruin your racing. I’m number one, baby. Remember?”
Nikki snorted. “Number one… You’re never going to let us forget that, are you?”
Grinning, Myles shook his head. “Nope. I’m having it monogrammed on all my clothes. Especially my underwear.”
Nikki groaned and tossed a rag at him. Hayden laughed at the pair, then languidly turned his eyes to me. “What do you say, 22? Want to unwind for a little while?”
I could see the hope in his eyes, and I knew he wanted me to say yes. It was what I wanted, too, so, biting my lip, I nodded. “Yeah…sounds good.”
Myles started talking about where he planned on taking us. Inching closer to Nikki, I leaned over and said, “You know, tonight would be as good a time as any to tell him.”
Nikki’s brows drew together in clear warning that I should butt out, then she said to Myles, “Hey, Kelley, we should see if Ralph, Kevin, and Eli want to come too.”
All the old Cox members had gleefully returned after the end of the season, and, while having them along sounded like great fun, I knew Nikki had only invited them so she had an excuse not to talk to Myles. Well played, Ramirez. Well played.
Myles’s eyes lit up, and he pulled out his phone. I shook my head at Nikki, while she grinned in triumph. Procrastinator.
Hayden held my hand as we walked, and a feeling of contentment mixed with excitement surged through me. It was almost like how I’d felt during the New Jersey race—like everything was right in the world. He kissed my fingers in goodbye when we got to my truck, and my skin sizzled where his lips had touched me. Hot damn. Saying no to this boy was going to take all my willpower. But when we finally did cave, it was going to be so worth the wait.
Twenty minutes later, we all arrived at Oysters. It was a quaint little seafood bar and grill down by the pier that we frequented. In fact, Nikki and Myles used to come here so often during the off-season, that the manager, Glenn, had named a drink after each of them. I had stopped in on occasion too, but back then, I’d been far more regimented. Or uptight, as Myles used to say.
Our group was treated like long-gone soldiers returning from the war, with lots of hellos, hugs, and congratulations—apparently it had been a while since our last visit. By the time we were ushered to a back table big enough for all of us, the waitresses already had drinks in hand—either a fruity pink drink garnished with gummy bears, affectionately called the Nik-o-Rita, or a swirling blue and green drink that was known simply as The Myles.
“For my best customers,” Glenn said. Then he gave Myles the evil eye. “Who promise to come in more frequently, now that the season is over.”
Myles grinned at seeing his drink, and assured Glenn that he’d be in a lot. Nikki’s eyes went wide with fear. Her tan face paled, and she remained absolutely silent. She couldn’t hide not drinking when the drink was already waiting for her. When she recovered from her shock, she slid the drink over the table to me. “Here you go, Kenzie. Figure you could use this after a day like today. You seemed to be drowning in paperwork up there.”
Knowing she was taking the easy way out, once again, I slid the drink back to her. “I’m good with one. And besides, it’s named after you…you have to drink it.”
My smile was almost as large as my face, and so was Nikki’s scowl. I could practically feel her burning me with her brain. While most of the table was enjoying their drinks and not paying any attention to Nikki, Myles had looked over and happened to notice her annoyed expression. “Oh my God,” he said. “Don’t tell me you don’t like Nik-o-Ritas anymore. Do you know how hard I had to fight to get Glenn to name it that? It’s not even a margarita.”
I could see the fury building on Nikki’s face, but just underneath it was panic and pleading. She’d do anything to be able to get out of having this conversation. I knew I could throw her a life preserver and easily get her out of this predicament, but, for her own good, I wasn’t going to.
Throwing on a casual smile, Nikki turned to look at Myles. “No, I just want water tonight. Still love the Nik-o-Ritas…they’re the best.”
Myles raised an eyebrow at her. “Water? You don’t even drink water when you’re thirsty.”
“Thanks,” she muttered. “You’re making me sound like a lush.”
Myles shrugged. “Just pointing out facts. So, what’s up with you? Still sick or something?”
Nikki instantly latched on to the escape route Myles had just offered. She grabbed her stomach for emphasis. “Yeah…it’s acting up again.”
I wanted to fling my gummy bear stick at her, but I made myself stay silent. She had to tell him herself. Myles groaned at her comment. “Why did you want to come out tonight if you weren’t feeling good? We could have gone out tomorrow instead.”
Nikki bit her lip as she thought of something to say. “I was feeling fine earlier…it just kind of hit me.”
Disappointment clear on his face, Myles said, “Do you want to go home?” He looked so sad, it was pretty obvious he wanted to hang out with her; I hoped Nikki didn’t crush him by saying she was done for the night.
Nikki stared at him for a few long seconds before finally nodding. “Yeah…I do…sorry.”
“Oh my God, Nikki, just tell him.” I slapped my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I’d said too much. Far too much. Hayden next to me had been idly listening to all the conversations around the table, but he was fully invested in this one now. So was Myles.
Seated across from me, Myles shifted his gaze from me, to Nikki beside him. “Tell me what?”
I closed my eyes, then flinched when I felt a slimy stick of candy hit my cheek. She gummy-beared me? Seriously? My eyes flared open, but the intensity in my gaze was no match for hers. “You had one job,” she sneered.
“And you’re being ridiculous,” I snapped. “He’s going to find out sooner or later, just tell him and get it over with.”
Nikki’s dark eyes flashed to Myles, and filled with tears. Now Myles looked concerned. Hayden too. He was looking at me, searching for a clue. I hadn’t told him anything about what was happening with Nikki.
“What’s going on, Nikki?” Myles asked.
The seriousness in his voice silenced the table, and all eyes fell on Nikki. She swallowed a few times, and I thought she might actually be sick now. “I…um…I’m…I’m kind of…”
“You’re kind of what?” Myles asked, panic beginning to blossom in his voice. “Jesus…are you really sick? Like…sick-sick?”
Now Myles looked scared. Nikki instantly began shaking her head. “No, no, I’m just pregnant. It’s okay.”
Then her eyes widened, like she couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Myles’s face morphed into a shocked expression that matched hers. “You’re…?” His gaze drifted to her stomach, then back to her face. “You’re pregnant? Wow…I’m…wow…congratulations.”
By the way he said it, I could tell he wasn’t getting it. “Myles,” I whispered. “It’s your baby.”
Myles lifted his lip in an incredulous half-smile, like he thought I was pulling his leg. “Right, it’s…” His expression blanked, and he snapped his eyes to Nikki. “It’s mine?”
Cringing, Nikki nodded. “Yeah…it’s yours.”
Myles shot to his feet like he’d just been electrocuted. “You’re pregnant? I’m pregnant? We’re pregnant?” He ran his hands through his hair, distress all over his face. “How the fuck did that happen?”
Every silent set of eyes at the table shifted to look at him. Myles’s cheeks bloomed bright red. “I mean, I know how it happened…but how did it happen? Weren’t you…on something?” he said to Nikki, sitting back down.
Nikki’s eyes narrowed, and she cast a quick glance at her audience before answering. “I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, and I hadn’t been planning on having sex with my best friend, so, no, I wasn’t on anything.” Myles opened his mouth, and Nikki shoved her finger into his chest. “And don’t even try playing the blame game. You didn’t use anything either.” Sighing, she stopped stabbing him. “The fact is, we both fucked up, but that really doesn’t matter anymore. This is happening, and we have to deal with it. And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to deal with it.” A tear fell down her cheek. “My landlord just upped my rent, and I’m barely getting by as it is. I don’t know what I’m going to do when the baby arrives…”
Myles swallowed three times before answering. “I’ll help. Obviously. You’re not alone, Nik.”
Nikki gave him a small smile. “I know you will, Myles. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was on my own…I’m just freaking out.”
“Understandable,” he muttered. “I’m kind of freaking out too.”
Nikki extended her hand to him, and he grabbed it; they both looked so lost. I wished my little one-bedroom house had more room, so she could move in with me, but I doubted she wanted to live on my couch. Myles moving in with her wasn’t really an option either. Eli, Kevin, and Myles had all moved into a swanky house after coming back from San Francisco. It was a total bachelor pad, and way out of their price range individually. He was kind of stuck there for a while, at least until the lease was up.
Myles’s face was scrunched in an almost comical way as he desperately tried to come up with a solution. Looking down the table at an uncomfortable Eli, Ralph, and Kevin, he said, “You could move in with me?”
Nikki gave him an appreciative, but dismissive smile; clearly, she’d considered that option already. “While moving into the Party Palace would be a lot of fun, it’s not a good place to raise a baby.” Her gaze shifted to Eli and Kevin. “And I would never ask you guys to make it baby friendly.” Turning back to Myles, she added, “And besides, it’s only a three-bedroom house. We’d have to shack up…and that would be weird.”
A frown graced Myles’s lips. “I’m having a baby with my best friend. All of this is weird.”
With a humorless laugh, Nikki nodded. “True.”
Hayden cleared his throat. “I just found out this morning that I’m going to need a place to stay soon. I could move in with you? I’ve got a steady job now, and I’m great with kids,” he said with a charming, megawatt smile.
Nikki was grinning, but I was surprised. “Hookup sold his place already? That was fast.” Hayden had told me just a few weeks ago about Hookup’s plan to become a responsible human being, and find a home in a nice neighborhood for Izzy, Antonia, and himself. I was still shocked.
Looking over at me, Hayden nodded. “Yeah…I have three weeks to move.”
I felt like he’d just poured ice water down my back. “Oh…wow…” Hayden and I had talked about what he would do when Hookup sold his place, but we hadn’t come to any real conclusions. I thought we’d have more time to figure it out. Months maybe.
Hayden’s expression turned earnest as he studied me. “I meant what I said the last time we talked about this, Kenzie. I don’t want to stress you out or make you feel like we have to move in together. We’re taking things slow, and I like that we are. I don’t want to change things, and I don’t want to pressure you. He looked over at Nikki. “Which is why I think the two of us living together would be the best solution for everyone. What do you say, Nikki?”
Nikki looked both excited and unsure. “I could really use the help, but…” Her eyes drifted to mine. “Are you okay with us living together?”
A part of me wanted to say no, but it was a small part, easily ignored. Smiling wide, I nodded. “I think it’s a great solution. But I do have to warn you…he’s a bit of a slob.”
Nikki scoffed and rolled her eyes. “He’s got to be cleaner than Myles.”
Myles playfully scowled at her comment, then grinned. “Well, good…that solves that. You and Hayden will live together.” There was an oddity to his tone that I couldn’t quite place. Annoyance, resignation…jealousy? He probably wanted to be the one providing for his child. Well, he’d get plenty of chances to do that.
My feelings on the matter were…complicated. I was grateful Nikki was getting the help she needed, and I also feeling a bit guilty that I wasn’t the one helping her. I was happy Hayden would be closer to me—his commute right now sucked—but I wasn’t thrilled that he’d be living with another woman, even if she was my best friend. It also felt strange that Hayden wasn’t going to be staying with me. We might be taking things slow…but it hadn’t always been that way. We’d been on track to move in together. That course had been forcefully derailed, but the lingering feeling of us moving backwards instead of forward was still there, bubbling just under the surface.
Pushing all that aside, I settled on contentment as Hayden and I relaxed with our friends and colleagues. I was racing again. I was with Hayden again. My two best friends were finally on the same page, and all was right with the world.
Hayden grinned at me, and I could see the same peace I felt reflected on his face. Leaning down, he whispered in my ear, “I’m dying for us to be far enough along in this new relationship for me to be able to tell you that I love you. Because I do. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything.”
My insides felt like they were splitting apart with happiness. A playful laugh escaped me as I did my best to contain the glee. “Well, maybe one day you’ll get to tell me that. And then I’ll get to tell you that I love you too. With all my heart.”
“I can’t wait until that day,” he murmured, his face softening.
He leaned in to kiss me, and I playfully pulled back. “Personally, I can’t wait until we can have sex again.”
Hayden blinked in surprise, then let out a pained groan. “God…you and me both, babe.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. He brought his lips to mine while I was still giggling, and my laughter subsided as I reveled in the sweet, sultry contact. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but I knew we could face it together. So long as we remained truthful. Keeping things hidden only gave those things power. Bringing them into the light was the best way to diffuse them before they exploded. Honesty was our secret weapon, and it was going to work this time. I hoped.
* * * The End * * *
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